Common Lizard Characteristics
These are factors that occur frequently with Lizards but are not essential to the definition or necessarily implied.

Computer Illiteracy

Lizards universally do not understand how the internet works. They first and foremost take online interactions very very seriously, while most people, especially people who seek out troll forums, usually consider it as frivolous entertainment. They also don't understand ironic humor at all, frequently use outdated or incorrect internet slang and memes, use obscure non-user friendly image hosting sites, refer to other users by their clearly humorous aliases instead of their already established online identities, change their own username so frequently it is hard for other users to know what to refer to them by, openly use multiple accounts at the same time for pointless reasons such as they had lost an argument using another account, make their account inoperable because they genuinely believe they are leaving the forum forever only to come back and need a new account for the 15th time, unironically care about a forum's pointless reputation system, make it very clear that they are angry in real life on a community based around getting others worked up and jump from forum to forum with disregard for it's quality, suitability for their needs or having to cultivate a new presence whenever they have a minor problem with their last frequented website. The most ridiculous example of this misunderstanding of internet usage is they have all shared their real name and phone numbers with each other; it is common to be able to simply call a Lizard on their land line if you wish to contact them and refer to them by their full real name. This may be common place on more respectable online communities but keep in mind these are people who pride themselves on being master manipulators who are willing to harass other users in real life so their lack of consideration for their own privacy is astounding. This all comes from a failure to gauge a website's or the larger internet's culture and to plan ahead. They are also very bad at operating a computer in general, so of course frequently boast about their proficiency in cyber stalking and hacking.

Sexual Dysfunction

Since a Lizard is unable to develop a healthy romantic relationship based on emotional connection and mutual respect and will take any method of escapism to avoid the reality of their situation they are frequently extremely promiscuous. Two female Lizards have confessed to having over 200 male sexual partners however they both deny that this is significantly above average. Female lizards are usually into rough sex and willing to try virtually any sort of fetish or sexual play. Female Lizards are seemingly all bi-sexual but also surprisingly homophobic for women. Male Lizards are known to have sex with literally any woman who will let them regardless of their attractiveness, health or age. Male lizards have been noted to suffer from premature ejaculation from being so desperate. Lizards will repeatedly cheat and be apart of affairs. Sexual abuse is extremely common with Lizards. Lizards have very often been victims of sex crimes, molested as children, raped as adults, attempted to commit a sex crime and fetishize sexual violence. Lizards will often become sexually obsessed with one another, convincing themselves that they are madly in love with another of their kind, causing endless drama. Almost every Lizard has had cyber sex with every other Lizard of the opposite gender. Due to their inability to defer gratification for even a few seconds accidental pregnancies, abortions and STDs are very common.

Unhealthy Lifestyle

Lizards are very often unable to keep themselves healthy in general as well as sexually. Their hygiene is usually very poor and their self-cleaning processes are sometimes odd and inefficient. Lizards very rarely exercise and if they do it is only with the goal of impressing others and with no regards to actually improving their health. Virtually all observed Lizards smoke and drink heavily, take narcotics and abuse prescription medications on a regular basis sometimes to the point of giving themselves brain damage. Lizards often have chronic health problems such as obesity and joint pain. When injured, assaulted or otherwise unwell a Lizard will usually delay seeking medical help as to not admit to themselves the dysfunctional nature of their lifestlye. Their living conditions are often bellow par, such as having a very cluttered house, hoarding useless items and garbage, abandoning DIY projects half way through leaving their residence unsafe, not bothering to fix holes in walls or broken doors or cover exposed piping or wiring and failing to clean their home so that pest infestations and mold gather. Lizards sometimes end up homeless, sleeping in community shelters or couch surfing they are so low functioning.

Edgy Sense of Style

Lizards frequently employ fashion choices and other purchases they consider accessories to their self-image to try and seem tough and rebellious. Examples include piercings, tattoos, dyed hair, goatee beards, shaved heads, leather jackets, workboots, confederate flag logos, alternative pets such as spiders and reptiles, media featuring violent anti-hero protagonists and riding motorcycles. Herpetologists have noted that motorcycle riding is highly correlated with being an absentee father. They also frequently join cliques as adults to further cultivate a rebel persona such as punk, juggalo, neo-nazi, circus, witchcraft, satanist or hate groups. Fittingly these are all very stereotypical attempts at counter-culture style and firmly conformist to certain sub-cultures and not actually truly edgy at all.

Lack of Travel

Only in one extremely severe case of Lizardness has a Lizard ever been recorded leaving their country of origin. It was for sex. They are usually far too poor to afford traveling and arrogant enough to think they already know everything about the world and wouldn't learn anything from visiting another country. This may aggravate their ignorance and failure to integrate even in their own society.