things she never did

1. She did not drive her boyfriend on the other side of the planet to drugs
2. He never robbed a bank
3. She never murdered her unborn child
4. She never cybered the guy who everyone has on ignore
5. She never swindled a yokel from swamptown Michigan
6. She never did meth
7. She never put her cat in the freezer
8. She never quit teaching because she had a nervous breakdown
9. She was never put on suicide watch in the psych ward after cops showed up at her door after she posted a suicide letter
10. She never was tricked into driving 2 hrs to thirstily pursue a guy who abused her for months online
11. She never mind fucked her junkie boyfriend's grandmother into being abused online on a gay nigger dick forum.