turns out libel does not work for dead people and the administration of rubynet are giving into an insane womans demands because they hate free speech


No. Spoken defamation about a person is slander; written defamation would be libel. In either case, the defamation is a tort against a living person, with the remedy pursued by the allegedly harmed person in civil court. If a person is dead, courts have held that he or she has no reputation to harm -- and no ability to sue you for damage.

Despite another answer's reference to the Texas statute, this review of the topic suggests that only Rhode Island's statute stands, and only applies to obituaries printed within three months of the death.

Other aspects of defamation still apply; truth is an absolute defense to claims of defamation, (the disputing of which may allow the defense to disclose details about the supposedly defamed person in court). And there is a greater leeway for commentary about public figures.