A supermarket had a sale on boneless chicken breasts, and a woman intended to stock up. At the store, however, she was disappointed to find only a few skimpy pre-packaged portions of the poultry, so she complained to the butcher. "Don't worry" he said. "I'll pack some more trays and have them ready for you by the time you finish shopping". Several aisles later, everyone heard the butcher's voice boom over the public-address system "Will the lady who wanted bigger breasts please meet me at the back of the store".
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It's been reported that masturbating twice a week increases your life expectancy by 20%. I have done the calculations and found out that I'm immortal.
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A father found his small son looking very unhappy. "What's wrong?" he asked. The boy said "I can't get along with your wife".
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Donald Trump and Barack Obama went to the same barbershop for a shave. As they sat there, each being worked on by a different barber, not a word was spoken. The barbers were even afraid to start a conversation, for fear it would turn to politics. As the barbers finished their shaves, the one who had Trump in his chair reached for the aftershave. Trump was quick to stop him saying "No thanks, if my wife smells that she will think I've been in a whorehouse"
The second barber turned to Obama and said "How about you?" Obama replied "Go ahead, my wife doesn't know what a whorehouse smells like.