Police have confirmed a man has been arrested after falling into a combine harvester whilst trying to steal it. He is due to be bailed tomorrow.
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I was sitting at the table reading the paper when the wife exploded "That's IT! I'm sick of it! All I ever do around here is cook!" she yelled. "HEY! That's not on!" I blurted over the paper. "What? I'm not even entitled to an opinion anymore?" She said defiantly. "I was referring to the oven".
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A man was having problems with premature ejaculation so he decided to go to the doctor. He asked the doctor what could he do to cure his problem. The doctor said, when you feel like you are getting ready to ejaculate try giving yourself a fright. The man thought he'd give it a try and so bought himself a starter pistol. All excited to try this suggestion, he runs home to his wife. At home his wife is in bed, naked and waiting on her husband. As the two begin, they find themselves in the 69 position. The man, moments later, feels the sudden urge to come and fires the starter pistol. The next day, the man went back to the doctor. The doctor asked, how did it go? The man answered, not that well, when I fired the pistol my wife shit on my face, bit my cock and my neighbour came out of the closet with his hands in the air!