At dawn, the telephone rings.
"Hello, senor Bob? This is Ernesto, the caretaker at your country house". "Ah yes Ernesto. What can I do for you? Is there a problem?"
"Um, I am just calling to advise you, Senor Bob, that your parrot, he is dead". "My parrot? Dead? The one that won the international competition?"
"Si, Senor, that's the one". "Damn! That's a pity! I spent a small fortune on that bird. What did he die from?"
"From eating the rotten meat, Senor Bob". "Rotten meat? Who the hell fed him rotten meat?"
"Nobody, Senor. He ate the meat of the dead horse". "Dead horse? What dead horse?"
"The thoroughbred, Senor Bob". "My prize thoroughbred is dead?"
"Yes, Senor Bob, he died from all that work pulling the water cart". "Are you insane?" What water cart?"
"The one we used to put out the fire, Senor". "Good Lord, what fire are you talking about, man?"
"The one at your house Senor! A candle fell and your curtains caught on fire". "What the hell? Are you saying my mansion is destroyed because of a candle?"
"Yes, Senor Bob". "But there's electricity at the house! What was the candle for?"
"For the funeral, Senor Bob...." "WHAT BLOODY FUNERAL??!!"
"Your wife's, Senor Bob. She showed up very late one night, and I thought she was a thief, so I hit her on the head with your Ping G15 titanium head golf club with the new TFC 149D graphite shaft".
SILENCE...
LONG SILENCE...
VERY LONG SILENCE...
"Ernesto, if you broke that fucking driver, you're in deep shit!"