Director's Commentary: this posts title is a parody of the graphic novel Volume 2's title Scott Pilgrim vs. the World
Director's Commentary: only decided to include these little interlude titlecards from the movie in the final saving of the images to set-up the only time I actually parody them later on
INT. BANGBUS.COM - NIGHT
Director's Commentary: reference to the porn website, since porn is funny and it's foreshadowing that we're gonna fuck again
Ruby and Deso are checking bangbus.com for new Ramen pictures when Ruby brings up the night's previous events.
Director's Commentary: reference to Ramen making the mistake of posting pictures of her eating a dudes ass on /b/ which iwascruel found, this became such a meme that I even caught someone on 4chan's /tv/ discussing and posting ramens pix lmao (and praising my threads, based)
RUBY
sooo... what was all that about?
DESOLATION
Umm... I guess... if you're going to be my internet boyfriend you may have to troll my seven evil internet friends.
RUBY
you have seven evil internet boyfriends?
DESOLATION
Seven evil internet friends, yes.
RUBY
and I have to fight-
DESOLATION
Troll.
Fag Finder: XY, xxxliger, Cranker
Director's Commentary: a nice touch I missed for years from the movie is the lights behind Ramona are all X's as she discuses her X's so I added this image when before it was just the first and last shot of them on the bus I included, I remember XY having a go at me and trollinator wiped the floor with him get fucked
RUBY
troll your seven evil internet friends... if we're going to continue to e-date?
DESOLATION
Pretty much.
RUBY
so what you're saying right now is that... we are... e-dating?
DESOLATION
Uh, I guess.
Director's Commentary: included the pic of Matthew Fox with the two scratches on his cheek since this is right after a fight scene, also note the lights outside the bus in the background are all heart shapes as Scott focuses only on their relationship, kino
RUBY
does that mean I can make you another cum sign?
DESOLATION
Only if I get to lick it up <3
RUBY
ok but it might taste extra cheesy
Ruby and Deso kiss :3
Director's Commentary: while most of the dialog in this scene has been a direct parody of the dialog from the movie, those last lines are inspired by how deso and I have been flirting for a decade plus
INT. MY HOUSE - IT WAS THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT
Director's Commentary: this location tag or whatever the professional term is is a reference to a song iwascruel kept posting that features further down the thread
Ruby is having an important meeting with Trollinator.
RUBY
trollinator I uh have something important to talk to you about
TROLLINATOR
You are finally going to be getting a job?
RUBY
n-no
TROLLINATOR
You are finally moving out of your parents house?
RUBY
no...
Director's Commentary: "cyborg recources" is a play on "human resources", in-joke I have with only myself appears in the form of the character Alice Morgan from the TV show Luthor (which I watched the first episode with Deso, and I actually wrote a review of but never got around to posting it, that's referenced later in this thread) appearing in the top left hand corner window across the street, this is in reference to this scene actually being a dream of mine and when I first got into lucid dreaming around 2011 this character would frequently make apperances giving me helpful tips as if she was some sort of spirit guide as she was one of my main waifus at the moment, unfortunately the 5th season in 2019 killed her off, R.I.P.
RUBY
I've, I've met someone else, I've finally got a real internet girlfriend, so I can't use y-
Ruby is cut-off by the phone ringing.
Director's Commentary: tried to get Matthew Fox's head to cover the most of Jamie Foxx's body as I could to hide that he's, you know, black
TROLLINATOR
The caller ID has been withheld. I will answer in your place in case it is an attempt to troll you.
Director's Commentary: a reference to how Terminators throughout the franchise can imitate various peoples voices
TROLLINATOR (imitating Ruby's voice)
a'right mate?
The phone EXPLODES.
Director's Commentary: I'm very happy with how this gif turned out, combining the best gag from the movie Law Abiding Citizen and some of the best prosthetics work from Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles, the blood flying off really matches all the gore revealing Trolliator's endsokeleton, I even flipped the whole image so that it would sync up with the right side of Trollinator's face getting blown off since my autism insisted her mole be on the right side lul
RUBY
WHAT IN FUCK'S TARNATION?!
Director's Commentary: a catch phrase of mine I often say in video games, used a pic of Matthew Fox where he has scratches on his cheek as if I've taken damage from flying shrapnel
EXT. OUTSIDE MY HOUSE - MORNING
The emergency services have been called and police activity swarms outside Ruby's house.
Director's Commentary: I really lucked out that there was a scene in Heroes where Parkman attends an attempted murder crime scene, can't believe that dogshit show Heroes finally came in use for something
Thankfully Matt Parkman from Heroes is on the case.
MATT PARKMAN
so someone put a bomb in this kids phone to go off when it detected his voice?
I'm used to convoluted plots and everything but damn...
Director's Commentary: just some exposition in case you were confused as to what happened in the last gif, also a reference to how shit the plot in Heroes got where you had villains becoming good and then evil again like 3 times over, characters forgetting their superpowers and love interests being abandoned in erased alternate timelines never mentioned again
Matt hears his partner's radio squaking indistinctively.
OFFICER DORNER
CSI ran the 10-89 through AFIS and ID'd the UNSUB
Director's Commentary: this is in reference to the police jargon cop shows always talk in, this roughly translates to "crime scene investigation ran the bomb threat through automated fingerprint identification and identified the unknown subject"
MATT PARKMAN
who is it?
Director's Commentary: Matt's black police partner here is cast as Christopher "Can't Corner The" Dorner, a Los Angeles cop who waged a one man war against the LAPD after his reports of police brutality were ignored, doing ambush attacks on patrol officers and murdering his former captain's daughter which of course the usually racist and pro-police /pol/ board were too edgy not to support, making him an immortal meme
OFFICER DORNER
they work for the vegan... the jewish man...
Director's Commentary: this is in reference to the Baneposting meme from The Dark Knight Rises line "they work for the mercenary... the maksed man" and how StompleB is a jewish vegan, anachronistic since TDKR didn't come out until 2011 but I just love this meme so much
Director's Commentary: Christopher Dorner himself is anachronistic since he wasn't publicly known until his rampage in 2013, but couldn't pass up the meme opertunity
MATT PARKMAN
stomple BANE?!
Director's Commentary: reference to the baneposting line where CIA just goes "BANE?" but also in reference to how StompleB's username is a shorter version of his YTMND username StompleBane, considered not including these lines since it's really the only part of this sequence that didn't occur in my real dream but I was just too proud of this joke
Director's Commentary: I actually like this Michael Bay style low sweeping shot from the show, especially since I didn't actually have to edit it in any way
MATT PARKMAN
I gotta warn them, tell S.W.A.T. to secure the perimeter!
Director's Commentary: the S.W.A.T. team are all the characters from the movie S.W.A.T., a movie I've seen loads since I used to have a big crush on Michelle Rodriguez, the gnomes on the garden are left to right: a pic of Jack Venhooker as a garden gnome his arch nemisis Flaglerchat made, Noggin Clontith, the gnome from the "you've been gnomed!" meme, using a character fittingly created by a woman who works with autistic children and wanted a friendly character to make songs for them about, Gnome Chomsky from Left 4 Dead 2, a reference to epic genocide denier linguist Noam Chomsky, where you get an achievement for taking him with you to the end of the level, which I made reference to in my song "One Bad Gnome" (click HERE to view it), just a random gnome flipping you off, a gnome parody of Jules from Pulp Fiction and a gnome Obama, a classic racist object the Lawn Jokey and a confederate solider gnome featured in Hitman Absolution pointed out in THIS oboeshoesgames video, the "goat tower" meme is seen in the upper right corner, in reference to the similar looking building me and Tek would refer to as such in DayZ
INT. MY HOUSE - MY BEDROOM
MATT PARKMAN
sir? you in here?
Director's Commentary: Matt's posting color is blue, as he's a cop, of course
Director's Commentary: this sequence was my favorite to make in the thread because matching together scenes from three different media into one narrative was a fun challenge, I have ideas for a thread that's nothing but remixing different movie and show scenes into one long narrative but that'll be quite the autism challenge even for me
Matt stumbles upon Ruby and Trollinator in fagrante (latin for doing it up the bum).
The fact that the phone bomb has blown the outer layer of living tissue off of the side of Trollinator's face exposing her hyperalloy endoskeleton's skull and optic sensor does not seem to be putting him off.
In fact it seems to be almost encouraging him.
Director's Commentary: reference to me having a robot fetish, pretty proud of the "in fagrante" joke
Director's Commentary: I literally googled "movie walk in on having sex" to find this scene in The Hot Tub Time Machine, a super unfunny movie I gave up watching halfway through, to find a scene to sync up with Matt opening the door, posters in the background are sexy French news reader Melissa Theuriau I used to post on the OG ytmnd forums who got her nude beach pics taken and the first Narnia movie I used to post on IGN about how hot Tilda Swinton was in it and people would be like wtf she's 4 times ur age, missed the poster in the gif but the original file for it is long gone, also polar bear references, this was the last gif I edited with like 5 minutes to go until I posted this thread which is why the posters are a bit wonky lol
MATT PARKMAN
woah! sorry! didn't uh-havn't seen anything that messed up since a serial killer's disembodied consciousness possessed me and fucked my wife!
Director's Commentary: reference to an actual storyline in Heroes, the FBI agent in the background is recast as the FBI agent character Olivia Dunham from the tv show Fringe which I was a fan of and she is inexplicably replaced by her light brown haired doppelganger from an alternate universe three images later to hint at the un-reality of this situation that's about to be revealed, another in-joke between me and my subconcious since I would often dream of Olivia
RUBY
it's alright officer, she's just helping me wind down after an intense day
TROLLINATOR
Sexual intercourse is an excellent stress reliever.
Have you identified who is trying to kill Ruby?
Director's Commentary: I think you can tell that this was a hard screenshot to find where the woman's face wasn't blurry and had the covers in front of her, special shout out to the make-up department on T:SCC who put movie-quality robot make-up on Summer Glau
MATT PARKMAN
yeah, his name's...
Director's Commentary: originally this was StompleB's real name I unironically source: it came to me in a dream'd but he stopped talking to me altogether after messaging me "uh why is my name in this thread" lmao so I censored it since I'm so nice
Director's Commentary: just to clarify that all that is a REAL dream that I had in like 2012 where Trollinator gets hit with a phonebomb intented for me in my kitchen and then Matt Parkman was the responding cop who walks in on me fucking Trollinator in my upstairs hallway to tell me it was "[REDACTED]" and I wake up, write that name down, go back to sleep, google it the next morning and find only d-list baseball players and ask m0nde for a laugh if he heard that name and low and behold it's StompleB's, I'm sure I just subconciously read it flying by in some thread or chatroom or skype call at some stage but it was genuinely like a psychic premonition and I've never let him forget it since, do NOT fuck with me or I will doxx you on the dream plane bitch
INT. A PRIVATE STEAM CHAT WITH DESO - NIGHT
It turns out the assassination attempt was all a dream!
RUBY
jesus christ!
DESOLATION
What's wrong?
RUBY
I just had a really weird dream...
Director's Commentary: I was wondering where to put this dream sequence in the thread but thankfully there is a deleted scene where Scott ends up in Ramona's bed after the fight with Patel I could use
DESOLATION
Looks like it was an... exciting one, who was it about?
RUBY
oh uhhhhhhh you of course!
hang on, I need to write something down before I forget it, for my dream diary
Director's Commentary: I've kept a dream diary virtually every day ever since Inception came out, it is very unhinged
Ruby scribbles down a note on the nearest piece of paper IRL.
Director's Commentary: set-up for probably the most surreal and meta joke later on in this thread, I really have kept a dream diary every day since 2011 which is probably why my output in thelast decade has been so low compared to '07-'10 since I am writing an autistic paragraph every morning that takes up all my care
DESOLATION
Why don't you just tell me all about it, in excruciating detail!
RUBY
well I was fucking tr- y-you up the ass... while another man watched! he was in a policemans uniform, and he was talking about how he watches other men fuck his wife too!
DESOLATION
Wow! I never knew you were this kinky!
Ruby and Deso start having cyber sex yet again, the audience claps and cheers. What? Yeah, not funny, I know.
INT. THE GAY TANK - MORNING
The Seinfeld opening theme music begins to play.
I seriously hope you guys don't watch this show (because I only know about it from memes)
Barry is preparing his favorite meal of the day: gay cocks. Ruby comes home ecstatic after a hot night with Deso. The audience cheers.
BARRY
someones gay (i mean both happy and your a fag)
RUBY
well someone got some hot cyber action last night and someone has a romantic internet date watching Lost In Translation tonight
BARRY
that scarlet JEWhansen movie?
RUBY
no the Lost episode called In Translation
The audience bursts into laughter.
Director's Commentary: meme posters here are a parody I made of the poster for the Postal movie that I made some gifs of, my third avatar for being home alone when my family was on holiday of Home Alone 3 and a parody poster I made from the movie Mr. & Mrs. Smith featuring posting couple veritechryan and veritechtammy, the meme items on the table are an enema bulb for gay anal sex, one of the vibrators that came with my cyborg fleshlight, and a parody of the DVD cover for There's Something About Mary featuring Gush that I think m0nde made
BARRY
not funny in any way shape or form
RUBY
dont even try it barry, I can still smell deso's pretend juices on my e-cock in my imagination
The audience goes oooooooh.
Director's Commentary: the "mass teen baiting" shirt is seen again, some random dildos of no meaning
RUBY
and I can also still taste my own cum
The audience bursts into hysterics as if this was the Big Bang Theory.
Ruby changes into his Punisher skull t-shirt he got from Hot Topic.
The audience whistles and claps because they are patricians who know he's is the best capeshit character.
Director's Commentary: not sure if this shirt is indeed a shout-out to the Punisher, there is definately various superhero logos throughout this movie usually on peoples t-shirts, but I made this joke in reference to always talking about the Punisher with Tek and I have some autistic plans for making megathreads with the character at some point
RUBY
so I invited deso over to the gay tank tonight so we can post about Lost... I dont want you gaying up the place
The audience goes absolutely fucking apeshit as if Ruby just said "bazinga!"
Director's Commentary: reference to a meme video I made splicing together Big Bang Theory & Supernatural click HERE to view it
Director's Commentary: memes here are a poster of Neil Patrick Harris from Harold & Kumar 3D I made for CheYeah years ago, notes on the clipboard are in reference to Barry starting to go down the alt-right rabbit hole around 2010, and a check that I think he actually photoshoped and posted when he lied about winning the lottery
Barry turns off the audience laugher emanating from his radio, wait a minute, is that the stove? Plot hole!
Director's Commentary: in the movie Kieran Culkin turns off the stove as if it's the radio, havn't noticed anyone online point this out
BARRY
ok ruby but in return I must issue you an ultimatum
Director's Commentary: memes here are an X-Mas avatar I made from Summer Glau's movie Help for the Holidays, a pic I made making fun of Plug Drugs claiming to pretend to be retarded in public of Jeffrey Dahmer doing the same thing from the comic My Friend Dahmer, a packet of Ivermectin which is anachronistically funny and a packet of Viagra I assume degenerate Barry has taken at some point
RUBY
barry do you even know what an ultimatum actually is?
I mean I only know what it is from the marvel comics event that ruined the Ultimate line
BARRY
yes you fag and this is my ultimate ultimatum...
YOU HAVE TO DROP YOUR TROLLINATOR GIMMICK
RUBY
but I like her shes hoooottttttt
BARRY
if you dont I'm going to show deso all of her posts and she'll find out how far you've run this whole robot girlfriend gimmick into the ground
RUBY
what? come on shes not that unfunny
Director's Commentary: the penises on the plate there are Siburkes, which is like a huge 9 incher, Barry bent bobby, Teknorat's and the dick that appeared as the spear-tip in my 300 gifs
BOOBZ
oh hey, morning
BARRY
hey matt
RUBY
oh double standard! having gay cyber sex with boobz isnt funny at all!! you do that constantly!!!
BARRY
it's not my fault a trumpet isnt the only thing he can blow hard
RUBY
you're a fag, you're both fags, check my double fags
BARRY
stop stealing old 4chan memes and go take trollinator to the scrap yard while I watch marks98 post
Director's Commentary: quite proud of this gif here where I have Matthew Fox cycling through distracted, recieving pain and worried and Barry leaving behind a mark with the "bitch" spanker, dialog in reference to how half my humor post-about-2011 was just recycled 4chan in-jokes, like pointing to "doubles"
RUBY
marks98?
BARRY
basically he was this pretty good dead animal gore picture poster
Director's Commentary: note how I didn't have to edit "chairman of the board" to anything as it works as a double-pun for either message board or the mac keyboard that stands in for his skateboard, reference to Internutt's food posting also on the cover
BARRY
now hes this pretty good general troll
Director's Commentary: these are all parodies of the posters for fictional in-universe movies in the movie, from left to right: You Just Don't Fit In with the subtitle "marks just got a mean PM saying he doesnt belong on the forums... from himself" in reference to posters constantly making parody accounts of each other, The NEDM Is Over 2 featuring Mark's then new dog Nova, with the subtitle "this fall... go super nova" in reference to some smilies I made showing his dog going super sayian, a reference to a time Tek asked me if I knew who he thought the worst Troll Squad member was and I immediately said Doctor House and he loved that I said that right away since trying to play an already existing character never really worked as well as coming up with my own was for that posting style, a reference to all the dead forum dogs like Mark's Frances, Aber's Popeye & Fitta, m0nde's Bosley, Ryan and Tammy's Thunderclease and my Dead Forum Dalmation, and Trolled To Be Here that teases Marks using alts of his own
EASTER EGG EXTRAS: click HERE, HERE, HERE, HERE and HERE to see these marks movie posters individually
BARRY
he's sexually harassing tammy on his spin off forum GND right now
its pretty much going to be a big troll-off with ryan or some shit
RUBY
we still get girls posting in this community?
BARRY
unfortunately yes and I'm stalking him later
RUBY
wait you're stalking marks98?
BARRY
yes I love it when he dominates me on the forums, now get the fuck out
Director's Commentary: this dialog is in reference to Marks constantly bullying Barry until he finally fit in after like 5 years of hazzing
RUBY
just to let you know you're gay and you're gonna burn in hell
hit the dab and im outtie
Director's Commentary: reference to Scott making arm motions similar to a "dab" in this frame
BARRY
I'm catholic so it's alright to be gay as long as it's with an underage boy and boobz counts cus he's such a manchild
Director's Commentary: this is a reference to Barry having a Catholic phase as he cycled through identities every few months Sneako style
Barry browses to Gay Nigger Dicks and reads as marks98 starts talking shit to veritechryan.
Director's Commentary: the ship exploding with troll words is in reference to LOST gifs where I parody the freighter bombing with me trolling ALOL, click HERE to view it, I added some gif frames since that gif is actually in reference to me trolling ALOL by editing all the gifs I had ever made by 2008 in my sig to lag every thread I had ever posted in after they banned me, literally like the deadman's switch Keamy used in LOST to blow up the freighter (which I used to represent ALOL in my gifs, very meta), but I kind of missed the beat on getting that joke through when I made that gif back then by just having it be mean words, phonebooth is Skype like every other phone, there's a plane doing 9/11 in the background
MARKS98
now you listen close and you listen hard ugly
the next screeching sound you hear is me putting earrape autoplays in your rep
the one after that... is me fucking your wife
Director's Commentary: this is the second time Marks98 has been cast as a character played by Chris Evans, he has also appeared as his character Captain America in various Avengers forum collages, and Clay once appeared as his character in my Not Another Teen Movie forum collage, click HERE to view them
EXT. SKYPE - MORNING
Ruby is skyping Trollinator, who's out patrolling the perimeter.
RUBY
oh hi trollinator uhhh I actually snapped my neck while sucking my own dick and died and I'm calling you from hell so just to let you know you dont need to protect me anymore so have a fun life bye
TROLLINATOR (over skype)
My scan of your vital signs indicates that you are still alive.
RUBY
huh?
Fag Finder: mkxylizard, Mr. Jack, Edna Janica as old IRC users represented by characters close to those usernames, (god isnt real) and ydocnamebackwards as passing pedestraians and Coolposter_2007 and carabelle in the windows
Director's Commentary: oh boy, appearing in this pic are homeless man "KB" who teknorat interviewed for his long gone youtube channel and gave a YTMND shirt to, another hobo he got to hold up a "ruby calaber" sign, the bike post is edited to be a white power stormfront logo, the restaraunt's eye sign has a ▽ on it in reference to a discord no-namer who's avatar was an eyeball and his username was just a triangle symbol I saw in one of the rubynet channels who was arguing with all the other pedos in there, the "small art gallery" was something Stevey made to viral market the 9th version of FJS on a Rust server that Deso happened to stumble upon and posted a screencap of, the "no tax don't stomp" sign is something user Warhol made in Rust, the posters throughout are an "i can lengthen your penice" poster that Tek sent me a screencap of him finding in GTA5, a "fanfare not manfare" sign I edited onto a protestors sign in pics I took of me attending an anti-war protest in 2005, a poster for one of the Transformers movies I liked because fictional racism is funny and in reference to my Transformers review thread, a wanted poster for the streamer Destiny's D&D party from Gnomes, Tombs & Catacombs, a poster from when 4chan got angry at James Rolf for having a black guy kiss a white girl in his movie, a poster for a porn movie House found Wilson acted in and had hung up in their hospital, a real poster from South Africa telling people not to rape babies me and Tek had a laugh at, users ██████████████&#, daserrand, katsuhicon, angelstar and Erathun's avatars and a picture of m0nde StompleB made out of products from Trader Joe's where he works click HERE to view it, the phonebooth is Skype as always, the restaraunt's doornumber is edited to be 666, since it seems like a healthy salad eating place I made it a reference to StompleB's vegan food threads that never got any replies and some fat guy from IGN radi0volta trolled into making a degrading sign for me that says "rubycalaber put your cock in my fat folds" up in the windows, another poster in the shop window is for the movie Amadeus standing in for the probably spambot AmaDeY1989
TROLLINATOR
Hey!
RUBY
oh boyo...
Director's Commentary: this image has been flipped so that trollinator's mole is on the right side of her head, don't know why I only did it this one time I guess my autism was just high this day, the callgirl cards are from real ones collected in London in the 70s and the forum girls that appear on them are Terror Baby, Aber, Frauchen, millie, momthinksimcool, m0nde being facesat by his ex-wife Alison which was his favorite fetish, gush, dascoot, roflbrothel is the girl offering "first class luxury" like how she used to call herself a "classy bird", ramen, artemis, gabi, sspunkyali, iwascruel, middletoes, breadface, rootbeer as the male sub since he's a simp, jack venhooker in the electric chair as all pedos should be, rootbeer's ex-wife Debra as the "bobby" in reference to her username DickWhisperer, stevey's crush lexie, foxxi and caz
INT. LIMEWIRE - MORNING
Ruby and Trollinator are looking at the uploaders of several child porn videos.
TROLLINATOR
Juliet's circle jerk will be making several threads soon, should I kill all three members?
RUBY
uhhhh no its cool
TROLLINATOR
I think we should have sex.
RUBY
what?!
Director's Commentary: the logo above Juliet's head "SkyHi" belongs to user Nifkin's band where he plays the saxophone, also of autism note is that like Chris Evans (who plays Lucas Lee (who marks is cast as)) also plays Captian America in the MCU (and Johnny Storm in two Fantastic Four movies) Brie Larson (who plays Envy (who Juliet is cast as)) will go onto be cast as Captain Marvel and Brandon Routh (who plays Todd Ingram (who Stomple is cast as)) had already played Superman in the terrible Superman Returns movie and somehow went onto an even worse DC project playing the shrinking hero The Atom in the tv show Legends of Tomorrow which triggers my autism since Edgar Wright was going to direct the Ant-Man movie before his autism triggered Marvel too much, quite the collection of capeshit actors, clearer shots of the FJS logo, Internutt and tubesurfer's avatars, my Troll Music and Gamin' Problems covers and above Stomple's head is the christmas single released by youtuber Rate My Takeaway whos vids he always links me and who's single he actually bought lol
TROLLINATOR
So people will not be able to say you cannot get laid. It would reduce the likelihood of you being trolled by 42.23%.
Director's Commentary: LOST numbers
RUBY
I uhhh is that even like is that safe? what if you crush my dick or like I short circuit you by jizzing inside you or something
TROLLINATOR
I am water tight and have detailed files on the limits of human anatomy.
Director's Commentary: reference to a line in Terminator 2
RUBY
but... I cant fuck a robot!
TROLLINATOR
Yes you can. Barry fucks Keithinator.
RUBY
are you even allowed to like... sleep with humans or whatever?
Director's Commentary: parody of the line in the movie "are you even allowed to date outside your race or whatever?", couldn't make that joke in [the current year]
Fag Finder: Artie, snozzberries, assataa, assata
Director's Commentary: referenced here on the wall posters are the Turds of Misery, a band mega no-namer poster Jay Vooray is in, a very funny group photo of a band Boobz was in, he's the dude in the shirt with TEA on it, the cover for one of Lonnie's EP remixes of my podcasts, which you can listen to by clicking HERE, Howard Dean's "Podcast Gaiden" I guest starred on, the avatar of an aloler I got off steam maxinrelaxinsaxon and user nagasaki's avatar, the cover of Creepy Chan (aka supermodel aka fanfare's next door neighbor aka my aim chat buddy) aka Allison Harvard's song for ANTM, the "Old King Gold" sticker is from a real album but is in reference to this /tv/ poster that did an interview with creepy-chan once and I wrote a jokey message on my freewebs making fun of him and boasting I'm the bigger Allison fan including a line along the lines of "so if you google your username and find this consider yourself owned" and he actually sent me a DM on youtube saying he did find that message and found it funny but youtube literally deleted their own private messaging service before I could respond so here's another shout-out for you if you ever google yourself again fam, the covers on the pillar are mostly Typogra aka Fanfare album covers but also mega no-namer emrik's avatar, the display of a jetfighter with the decepticon logo on it in reference to Starscream from my 2007 review thread of the Transformers movie, the albums at the bottom are three bands that Deso enjoys Slowdive, Crystal Castles and scottish band Chvrches, cringy white rapper Unkle Adams that's often referenced by streamer Destiny, a meme saterizing UK politician Ed Miliband's frequent turns of phrase, Bitch Slicer's "Sex With Sharks" album cover I just found funny, user Wendy <3's "Cybercore" avatar, a pic Deso made for her (other) friend Clay I tried to play DayZ with once but it was just sitting on a loading screen for 3 hours lmao, an cover of youtuber Hank Trills who makes funny vids, an album cover for Zeke's band from Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D., a parody of a Bloodhound Gang album from a Red Letter Media video, an album cover saterizing Kanye West's "Ye 4th Reich" era, also some other covers of my songs featured throughout this thread, a very rare easter egg for marks, and a cover for the incelcore song Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World Ruined A Whole Generation Of Women which has like tens of millions of plays across various platform which is obviously a false narrative since uhhhh women don't watch movies like this lmao, also fun story the band that sung it was going to have a fan event called "virginfest" but the girl who was gonna host them got her life ruined by antifa, really fighting against misogyny there lads!
TROLLINATOR
I am an infiltrator. I am designed to imitate every aspect of a human female.
RUBY
it might be kind of, you know, like, no offense, like, soulless? I mean, you dont even like me, you're just programmed to protect me
TROLLINATOR
I can accurately simulate the desired physiological effects of the emotion of...
Director's Commentary: only when googling to quickly double-check the dialog from this scene as I do the finishing touches to this thread did I come across a reddit thread pointing out "Knives says the word 'love' to Scott exactly when it would be said in the lyrics of the Clash at Demonhead song heard later in the movie, an instrumental version of which is playing in the background." goddamn is this a good ass movie
Director's Commentary: musical references here are to work-place shooter Andrew Blaze's "Suicide Tapes" album he made to go along with a youtube series he was making about his delusion that he's going to die and become a cute ghost girl with his waifu from Danny Phantom which is probably the only internet project to ever be attempted more autistic than this thread but unfortunately it fell apart and he couldn't get it done in time for his shitty mass shooting where he only shot 2 people and domed himself, the hanging display is the alt-right rap parody artist "Mr. Bond" who makes funnier racist raps than I ever have (and for a white guy who hates blacks he kinda sounds like them lmao), covers for my songs Rooty's Way, Last Circumcision, both featured ITT, and Rustle Jimmies Or Simulate Walking Trying, the other is of Ted Stevens, m0nde, Link, me, steveyos and cberry in a D12 parody pic I made for my Troll Music song, most of the posters on the sides of the tables are edgy graphic album covers for the Dayton spree shooter's extremely cringe 'Pornogrind' band Menstrual Munchies with titles like 6 Ways Of Female Butchery, Tilt Bench For Gynecology Or Total Rape and Preteen Daughters Pu$$y Slaughter, no surprise what he ended up doing there, and my own actually very tasteful and cool and not at all having implications for my mental health music video for Taylor Swift's Wildest Dreams, and album covers for Travis Scott, Grimes, Half Moon Run, Avalanches and Men I Trust which are all bands Deso has mentioned to me over the years, the zoris on the ground, a kind of japanese sandle, are in reference to the user zori, on Trollinators belt buckle is a picture of cberry with an afro in reference to Knives belt having a picture of cherries
RUBY
uh... listen... I think I should stop using you as a gimmick or whatever...
TROLLINATOR
I do not understand.
RUBY
you're... getting kind of stale... you're not funny anymore
TROLLINATOR
Oh.
Ruby logs the fuck out.
Ruby worries about how upset Trollinator must be. But then he remembers that even if she was real she's not even human anyway, and remembers he has a hot new internet gf, Desolation.
Director's Commentary: I didn't plan on including this shot for almost the entire thread production since there was no dialog associated with it to parody and it seemed like a lot of work to edit but it wasn't that bad and I liked the way the layout kinda looks like comic book pannels or film strip bravo edgar, used clips from the T:SCC episode where the personality of the girl Cameron was copied from takes over her body due to a glitch and the Miley Cyrus clip is from the Hannah Montana movie I made some gifs from for Deso
INT. 2FJS.GREATESTBOARD.COM - NIGHT
FJS is now on it's sixth URL.
FANFARE
wheres your trollinator thing?
RUBY
oh I stopped using that gimmick, hey check it out if you type Q33NY in the wingdings font which was the flight number of the first plane to hit the twin towers it shows symbols of a plane going into two buildings and a skull and crossbones next to the star of david further evidence that jews did 9/11
Director's Commentary: this is a common fake rumor, Q33NY isn't the tail number of any plane involved, but it's based on the real thing where "NYC" in Wingdings shows a skull and cross bones, a star of david and a thumbs up sign lmao
Teknorat and Fat Stevey stare at Ruby.
FANFARE
ruby we all know are a machinesexual or whatever
RUBY
why yes I am a sex machine
FANFARE
I mean you fuck robots
RUBY
no that would be not funny
FAT STEVEY
exactly
RUBY
but dont worry maybe soon you'll see me using my new pretend girlfriend gimmick
Director's Commentary: on the shelf is a case for Crysis 2, a game who's multiplayer me and Tek played together and encountered the worst hackers we ever have who just loaded in and instantly spun around 360 degrees as fast as possible insta headshotting everyone through every wall in the game, and Survivarium, a generic FPS me and Tek played like once that's title was trying to trick you into thinking was a survival game, and DVDs for Borat Subsequent Moviefilm, Happiest Season, Bad Moms 2, three movies I watched with deso, and Watchmen, which I made gifs from and once planned to make a megathread like this of but couldn't really get a script going at all, other easter eggs are another Mad Moxxi gun, a hammer shaped like a fish (that I found on a used tool site having sold for 6 grand, jesus christ) representing user "fishhammer", a box for the cardgame for Heroes Of The Storm, a shitty MOBA me and Tek played to unlock skins in Overwatch, DVD cover using my Not Another Teen Movie forum collage, click HERE to view them, a wallpaper with school shooter Seung-Hui Cho in the style of The Matrix fanfare made for me way back in '07, parodies of LOST promo images I made in '08 click HERE to view it & click HERE to view it, forum collage I made for FJS from some bizzare Thai movie about special forces having to rescue ladyboys from the jungle called Saving Private Tootsie click HERE to view it, forum collage I made from a Star Wars fan collage with the dates cropped off since I made it in 2011 click HERE to view it, collage I made from a promo poster for House in reference to Stevey's winnebago he wanted to buy click HERE to view it, hidden behind Stevey's head is a poster from Inception StompleB made of Deso click HERE to view it
FANFARE
yeah hes still talking about his sad terminator fetish
oops wrong window
how triple embarrase
rip me
Director's Commentary: "oops wrong window" & "how triple embarrase" are real fanfare-isms, people accidentally sending a message talking shit behind peoples backs has happened in IGN aim chatrooms I used to post in before
FAT STEVEY
this one better have a dick
TEKNORAT
okay from here on out no internet girlfriends or internet girlfriend talk in this chat whether theyre real, pretend or-
FAT STEVEY
have dicks!
TEKNORAT
our forum rep barely survived your last stupid fake girlfriend gimmick
it's troll or be trolled now, okay?! we're going up against the best posters in the ytmndosphere who'll finger fuck us like THIS!
we gotta practice our gimmicks, show us what you've been working on ruby
Director's Commentary: here teknorat is referencing the hand sign "the shocker", what he likes to do to fat e-girls
RUBY
alright check it, this is gonna be set to Rebecca Black's Friday
it's timmy tuesday, timmy tuesday
barry can only post on tuesdays
nobody's lookin' forward to timmy tuesday, timmy tuesday
timmy tuesday, timmy tuesday
shit postin' on timmy tuesday
nobody's lookin' forward to timmy tuesday
Director's Commentary: there's an extended scene on the DVD that shows this practice session in full but I like the gag from the movie of them being immediately interupted and I've used all my shorter songs up my now, also couldn't be fucked to edit in the posters in the background for this gif, the song being sung here is an unproduced song I wrote about marks98 doxxing Barry and forcing him to only post on Tuesdays
The FJS crew are practicing their latest in-joke routine but they are soon interrupted by...
* desolaton (~hyper@234.1488.238.108) has joined #FJS
RUBY
oh oh! deso's here!
Director's Commentary: forum collage featured in the background is from a set photo from LOST season 1 click HERE to view it
FAT STEVEY
oh hey its cheyeah!
Director's Commentary: CheYeah also used to use (post-cocaine) Lindsay Lohan as his avatar
DESOLATION
I don't like registering on new forums... someone's gonna get my IP and hack me.
RUBY
you know your avatar?
DESOLATION
I know of it.
RUBY
it's lindsay lohan
DESOLATION
I change my avatar girl every week and a half get used to it.
Ruby stares at Deso's avatar in a trance.
Director's Commentary: Ramona changing her hair color and Scott's reaction to it was another thing I knew on first viewing I'd have to parody as Deso changing her avatar to a different waifu all the time, this was in the ancient times of the 00s when dyed hair was for hot scene girls and wasn't ruined by SJWs yet, I think every single Lindsy Lohan picture used from this point on is unique since I went through a huge folder of screencaps I saved from the now defunct lindsayarchive.com (rip) cutting out the required expression as I went, the effect is a big improvement from just using generic pictures of young Miley just giving the same friendly grin over and over again
DESOLATION
So... how do you guys all know each other?
TEKNORAT
that would be Khe Sanh, spring of '68
Director's Commentary: reference to a line from the Punisher MAX comics that I'd show to Tek when arch nemisis Baracuda asks Frank where he "went to school" to learn combat
FAT STEVEY
nah we just used to troll #wop a lot together
FANFARE
believe it or not but I actually e-dated ruby back in #wop
DESOLATION
Got any kinky stories?
FANFARE
wtf no you freak
what kind of fucking avatar is lindsy lohan anyway i mean wow how more mainstream can you get
RUBY
uh ok bye see you guys later
Director's Commentary: you see the backsideof the Not Another Teen Movie DVD here, another Mad Moxxi gun is seen, parody collage of the movie The Bullet Wives another weird Thai movie about mobsters wives and mistresses battling it out click HERE to view it, a forum collage from 2007 I completely forget who made it click HERE to view it and a parody collage of a Heroes poster click HERE to view it, note I didn't forget to include the "traps" word in the heart on stevey's shirt
TEKNORAT
what about our funny posts?!
RUBY
stevey knows my running jokes
* desolaton (~hyper@234.1488.238.108) has left #FJS
* rubycalab (~rubycalab@cp1-cunny4-8-15-custard404.42-4.cable.virginmedia.com) has left #FJS
Director's Commentary: yes my ISP really is Virgin Media, the hacker gibberish string of characters there are parodies of whatever actually poped up when either of us left IRC that I figured I should change in case you can get soemones IP from it or whatever
FAT STEVEY
hi I'm Steven Yelle
Director's Commentary: a catchphrase of stevey's
Director's Commentary: parody of a promo image for Fringe appears click HERE to view it note the mutated ear-rat and Dr. Fat Cock as his avatar Lance Reddick, poster for various new users circa 2007 who almost all went on to become established names still around to this day, bravo click HERE to view it rip jlen503's posting career dunno where he went lmao, also refugee #54673 was a Deso alt lol, textless version of this parody collage from The Walking Dead appears click HERE to view it, an AKM (Tek and I's main weapon in DayZ) and roadflare (an FAD aka "Fuckboy Attraction Device" we would light in the road to make noobs run over and interact with for us to done (Ukranian soldiers literally did this to Russians by flying a Ukranian flag under a drone, baiting them into shooting it and giving away their position lmaooooooo)) from DayZ also appear
INT. THE GAY TANK - EVENING
Director's Commentary: seen lurking outside The Gay Tank is, appropriately, legendary Liverpool sex pest "Purple Aki" who is notorious for groping hundreds of teenage boys, intimidating witnesses and once got a 16 year old electrocuted by scaring him onto some traintracks but keeps getting away with it in court for whining about racism, click HERE to view Count Dankula's video on him
Deso takes off her boot to reveal her sweety feets (you're welcome, Quentin). Then leaves to pee (sadly, not on cam).
Director's Commentary: this shot really was put in by Edgar Wright as a shout-out to Quentin lol
BARRY
did you just cum your pants again?
RUBY
no and that was just that one time
Director's Commentary: reference to my only wet dream being about Deso
BARRY
or did you shit yourself ag-
Director's Commentary: reference to me shitting my computer chair once
RUBY
she changed her avatar
BARRY
so? maybe she wants to roleplay shes lindsy in jail and your the prison guard that rapes her
Director's Commentary: reference to Lindsay's various legal problems
RUBY
she did it without making a big deal out of it or anything she's impulsive and spontaneous GOD IM GONNA SPERG OUT
BARRY
wow dont shit your hugbox
Director's Commentary: "hugbox" is a device used to comfort autistic children m0nde forced a meme out of
Director's Commentary: memes here are a poster of a hate raid on commie streamer Hasan Piker who Deso and I love to hate on as drawn by redditor "turtle of canada", the brand of macaroni and cheese I've been eating for half my life, I'm handling some mac & cheese flavored gummies I saw a /ck/ meme of, a LOST poster as a faux advertising for The Hydra's observation consoles, a parody of a map of the LOST island /tv/ made about the movie content they actually discussed a decade ago rather than just twitter screencaps, Scott's apron read COOK but I edited it to COCK since penises are funny, the book behind me reads "The Humanitarian Cook Book by Ruby, Sarah & Gigi" in reference to the three cannibal women from The Neon Demon I wrote a review of, click HERE to read it, Humanitarian being a play on Vegetarian as someone who eats humans, DVDs for movies I watched with Deso: Day Shift, Love Death + Robots, Emily The Criminal, Citizen Kane, Dr. Strangeglove, Shaft, Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children and Spiral, an avatar on the fridge I made when I was watching Breaking Bad of Matthew Fox with Bryan Cranston, another reference to marks' Peyronie's disease wikipedia troll, a sign Deso made me out of candles once, and the cereal "Nigga Please" from a Chris Rock show sketch click HERE to view it, a meme about communist youtuber Haz who shills for Russia and a meme from THIS Internet Historian video about Kony2012
DESOLATION
So, how's dinner coming along?
RUBY
cheesy
BARRY
ok pretty much I'm going to leave you two losers to enjoy your circlejerk I am heading to the main forum to stalk my hillbilly crush
RUBY
DONT GO!
BARRY
cowboy up faggot, you could get at least a hairjob
RUBY
what on gods green earth is a hairjob?
BARRY
when a girl uses her hair to jerk you off
RUBY
why the fuck would you do that?
BARRY
I dont know straight people are weird, after you're done come post with me on GND
RUBY
what if she rapes me like Alma in FEAR 2 or Anissa in Invincible or Alison Brie and her gay roommate in real life?
Director's Commentary: rule of threes in reference to THIS
BARRY
dont care, see you in 60 (seconds (cus thats how long you last))
Ruby looks around apprehensively at Deso. She gives him a coy smirk.
Director's Commentary: memes here are a poster for the terrible American Psycho II deso and I watched together which fits with the femme fetale vibe of this image, DVD for Sweet Vicious can be seen again which is a show about feminist vigilantes referenced on a gender swap ruby signature image, the fight club soap beside it is a shoutout to the movie I've never actually watched all the way through, on the phone's display screen is the basically unreadable text "based dept.", a bottle of Irn Bru I put a sign reading U Mad? on I took a pic of once for m0nde, a can of custard in reference to "dangerous faggot" Milo Yiannopoulos for some reason I saved from 4chan, note the sell-by-date on the mac & cheese is 69/69 4/20 two very very funny numbers, there are two easy mac smilies from rubynet in the background, the "naughtymac" with the cheeky eyebrows is placed behind the cheeky LiLo face for poetry purposes and the toaster has the logo of scam artist Elizabeth Holmes' company Theranos in reference to her fake blood test machines with the blood samples they supposedly processed in reference to deso and me watching a few eps of The Dropout show about this gigastacey, the readout result is HIV+ in reference to Barry's wristband we see uh befor or later idk I forget
Director's Commentary: an unedited LOST number
DESOLATION
This is actually really good mac and cheese.
RUBY
macaroni cheese is my favorite food, I could honestly eat it for every single meal of my life, not that I do or anything
same with irn bru
DESOLATION
And get cancer.
RUBY
no why would I get cancer
DESOLATION
The sheep blood or whatever they add to make it orange gives you stomach cancer. I looked it up, they banned it in Canada.
RUBY
IRN BRU GIVES YOU CANCER?!
Director's Commentary: I thought of a parody line here along the lines of "SOY MAKES YOU FEMALE?... cool!" but that's a more generic internet humor reference and not specific to these forums
Director's Commentary: above dialog is parodying their discussion about bread with a reference to Teknorat's Irn Bru review video where he claims some addative in irn bru was banned for being carcinogenic and setting up the stompleb joke later on, irn bru was actually banned in Canada but for high caffine content, I love the subtle bits of characterization like Scott has a coke zero while Ramona drinks actual wine to show how immature he is, not that I can relate or anything, The Blackening is the boardgame from that movie deso and I watched, the LOST DVD's spelling out "ruby" was made for me by Camoron, the bottle of spirits is user TanetheMane's avatar, Deso's plate of yeast represents user "yeast", the mac'n'cheese in my hands is a sign Deso made for me once as it the the pizza on the bed with the sign saying "ruby, I wish you'd eat me like I'm about to eat this pizza" and a mac-heart sign I made her, the bowl of ice cream in the corner from us watching V together, the bowl of mac'n'cheese with a drink in it and the bread with ruby written on it and the food on the center plate are all from pictures Deso sent me of what she was eating as we watched a movie together, she's also eating a heart-shaped biscuit with uhhh "special icing" I made for her, a chess pic I made for valentines recently to commemorate us playing chess on chess.com together in the last year, the stuffed toys on the bed are Greta Thunberg's toy octopus that was called anti-semitic for appearing in a pro-palestine photo of hers which of course instantly became a 4chan meme of it attacking jews like a kaiju and NFL Long Snapper Taybor Pepper's toy mascot of the streamer Destiny's community he's apart of his wife knitted for their baby, I always found it amusing that an NFL player is a big fan of a video game streamer that debates about incest with alt-righters, there's a real poster for the German version of the amazing 2002 action tv show Fastlane where they titled it "Lady Cool And The Gang" lol
Director's Commentary: edited to be a LOST number, I actually made the "2" from flipping and editing the "S"
Deso is teaching Ruby how to play an actual real guitar. It's not going well.
Director's Commentary: this is in reference to the time Deso tried (and failed) to teach me the guitar irl, note the expert lighting showing my katana setting up it's use in the finale, yes I am this skinny irl, yes my dad buys me cringy graphic t-shirts about being a gamer and no thats not my guitar it's my dads
RUBY
I wrote a song for you, desolation...
DESOLATION
You did?
RUBY
well like I came up with the words... although I guess I had a hand in the actual creation of the music uh because once this guy from this forum called threepointstance was like hey you're a really funny poster come post on my american football forum I'm in a band I'll make a song for you if you do so I was like yeah ok and he made this song for me then he was like so come and post on my forum and I was like just kidding you're a fag and your forum sucks... so anyway here it is... it's about all the things I love about you...
Director's Commentary: the above anecdote is completely true, an unironic like... forum posting talent scout tried to poach me for his american football message board, showing me pictures of the hot girls on there and such, it was bizzare
Director's Commentary: the collage on the wall here is made from my favorite ever comic panel, the 8-page pull-out from Ultimates Vol. 2, that I actually made a few weeks ago just to have something to put on the wall here as it was the first long ass image that came to mind, click HERE to view it, it has recurring castings from other marvel comics/collage parodies like quick to anger Barry as Hulk, patriotic marks98 as Cap, everyman soldier Siburke939 as Hawkeye, me as Quicksilver since he wants to fuck his sister, my sister as his sister, Gender Swap Ruby as Wasp in reference to Evangaline Lily playing a Wasp in the MCU and she's spearing Rootbeer and Plugdrugs two of the most sexist posters, cberry as black Nick Fury, fanfare as redheaded Betty, banhammer happy Clay as Thor, max as Loki since all jews are tricksters, m0nde's dog bosley and d-lister Piratio as the giant wolves in the background and ROY4L and one of the many spambots that infest the forum as the giant monsters in the background, the two anachronistic posters on the sides are about the streamer Destiny that Deso and I watch by artist WhyChairs, click HERE to buy his posters IRL!, the coomer saga poster fitting for this scene for obvious reasons, on the bed is Rap Snacks, a real crisp (yes thats what they're called) brand deso and I only know of from The Blackening movie, with a reference to Taylor Swift's rap with T-Pain I made on their official website lol, of course also edited with a BBC joke which all white women love
RUBY
my dear deliriously drop-dead delicious dazzlingly divine dullness denying discomfort dodging despair dispelling distractingly dreamy distinctly different discernibly demure disarmingly delicate deceptively docile desirably dressed dapper despite donning daisy dukes diamond displaying delicacy dining dumbfoundingly downplaying disorientatingly dialectic dynamically dictioned dispenser deploying double digit damage dealing Demoman demolishing Dexter dedicated Debra dyke definition defying doubter disproving devastating diss delivering dominating during dialog duels disabled deaf douche duping dyslexic dimwit Dunro deceiving divorced darkie dog death disrespecting ditsy duxx drivel debunking decadent Dutch d'Olort dooming disruptive dweeb dismissing downvoter disregarding d-lister decimating disturbed dork destroying diabolically deliberately derailing discussions developing dispute drama distressing debate distributing deviously dropping dynamite destruction deep down decent dutifully dependable demonstrating determination demandingly driven dauntingly disciplined daringly disobedient discography downloading definitely doable desperately disrobable definitively deflowerable damn drillable devilishly dirty deviant dominatrix dang dem dimples delightfully dollfaced dramatically deluxe demigoddess deservingly developing devotees disco dancing dixieland dwelling datable diva discernibly dignified distinguished duchess delicately dainty darling damsel digital deity desolation I love you
I love you so much desolation, you're so... so sexy and stuff
also special shout-out to whoever made this song... sorry I forgot your username
I love you desooo
Director's Commentary: couldn't help but add my nails to this gif since if you actually read the above text you spend a lot of time staring at my hands moving
DESOLATION
Can't wait to listen when it's funny.
Director's Commentary: barely changed play on the line in the movie where she says "can't wait to listen when it's done"
Director's Commentary: almost missed the DVD's on the case in the background
RUBY
funny?
Director's Commentary: edited to be a LOST number
Ruby and Deso are making out. Business as usual then, heh.
RUBY
oh yeah... tell me you love my lost threads again...
Director's Commentary: all the posters on the wall were various fan-made LOST references since I had run out of forum related memes to stick up but I put up some pre-2010 movies deso and I watched recently, Sky High which is an unironic banger and DOA which is a semi-ironic banger and Surrogates which we watched must be in actually 2010 and I only checked it out because I saw a poster for it and thought it was Summer Glau since T:SCC had similar half-disassembled hot robot waifu art, an anachronistic parody poster of the amazing Everything Everywhere All At Once about streamer Destiny's insane drama, the guitar in the corner is a sign Deso made for me once, note how Scott and Romona are making out in a similar pose to the poster that's been on the wall the entire time, bravo Edgar
DESOLATION
Your fingernails are getting pretty long.
RUBY
oh god I need to cut them dont I?!!
DESOLATION
What?
Director's Commentary: the first image I shooped my nails onto for the dialog joke and decided to go back and add them elsewhere
RUBY
no sorry I just got a bad ingrown toenail before me and my first imaginary internet girlfriend broke-up... that was so long ago I can barely remember
DRAMATIC VOICE OVER
Ruby is acutely aware that the last time he cut his fingernails properly was exactly 1488 days ago, 4 hours before Juliet molested him. He's been avoiding cutting his fingernails ever since.
Director's Commentary: if this story takes place on Dec 6th 2010 (deso's birthday, assuming the transitions from day to night aren't real since this takes place in a metaphor for the internet where time moves differently (typing assuming there made me realize how most authors have no idea how their own fictional universe works and just makes it up as they go on lmao)) then 1488 (le funny neo-nazi number) days before that would be Nov 9th (written as 9/11 in the UK lul) 2006 (a day after the cliffhanger of the first 6 episodes of LOST in which Juliet was introduced before a winter break) which would have been 15 days (a LOST number) before I turned 16 (another LOST number) which is the age of consent in the UK and thus make me not of interest to Juliet anymore, my stories are always 42 layers deep nigga Alan Moore eat your heart out
RUBY
I was so young...
DESOLATION
Sounds like a bad gimmick.
RUBY
bad gimmick? heh it wasnt that nf
DRAMATIC VOICE OVER
It was NF.
RUBY
it was actually a pretty funny gimmick
DRAMATIC VOICE OVER
It wasn't funny.
Director's Commentary: pic of Matthew Fox crying is from an avatar I used when I thought I'd chased fanfare off the forum over some misunderstanding but really it was Teknorat meeting up with him and doxxing him
RUBY
I mean... she told me not to tell anyone
DRAMATIC VOICE OVER
She raped him. It was big strap-on brutal.
Director's Commentary: pic of Juliet is from some sketch artist m0nde used to post on the forums of peoples avatars, smiliar to the Miley Cyrus pic that's held up in the house party scene, in the movie they really do call Scott's heartbreak "brutal", here it's referencing the "big dick brutal" ALOL meme
DESOLATION
What was the gimmick about?
RUBY
it was Juliet from Lost but the joke was she was also this pedophile she played in Running Scared but then she got killed off on Lost so everyone just remembered her as the pedo
DESOLATION
Well your long fingernails are cute, I like effeminate guys <3
RUBY
oh so I look like a fag now?!
Director's Commentary: felt the empty background could use some memes to fill it up so went for two anachronistic memes of a uh porn parody of the second terrible attempt at a Dark Pheonix movie and a parody poster of No Country For Old Men based on some commercial about transphobia where a guy stops a transwoman using the womans bathroom which is appropriate to put in a toilet
DESOLATION
What?
RUBY
what?
Director's Commentary: these "yellow posting gloves", aka rubber washing up gloves since I already went over my costume department budget buying the Chris-Chan style shirt, are in reference to the fingerless leather gloves iwascruel used to claim she wore for posting, parody of Scott putting on a hat whenever anyone questions his long hair in the movie if case you missed my epic joke
DESOLATION
Why are you wearing those yellow gloves?
RUBY
they're my posting gloves, I thought we could go post on that new spin-off forum now
Director's Commentary: edited to be, well, you know, the sex number
EXT. GAYNIGGERDICKS.COM - NIGHT
Director's Commentary: this was a real spin-off forum marks98 made, I forget why exactly, I think it was to try and get away from Lisa, which drunkpuppies parodied by making thenolisasclub.com forums, of course both forums fell apart since I have the world record of longest online message board outside of like Something Awful which now you have to pay to post on OMEGALUL
DESOLATION
Please tell me we aren't just going to go post on this unfunny forum so you can cover your nails with yellow posting gloves.
RUBY
no I just love me some posting you know just keep posting jokes all day typing away on the internet heh... like this... posting... I'm really good at it
SPOILER SPIDER
SPOILER WARNING: HE'S NOT, AND IN FACT IS GOING TO GET SEVERELY OWNED VERY SHORTLY
RUBY
umm j-just ignore that that's just this uh dumb sort of gimmick about terminators I have nothing weird or sexual at all about that just a like in-joke I have with myself h-heh
Director's Commentary: only on my billionth rewatch did I realize these were the stairs Lucas grinds later they're just filmed to look longer, the GND logo is the one Marks used for his forum, the cross-walk counter at 0 is edited to be 88 since the raised hand icon above it reminded me of a sieg heil, the sign that says 0 replies is from a sign fanfare made me where he put that outside of a gated community that the girl in his avatar was on the news at for being arrested for tresspassing to swim in someone's pool and there's literally news footage of her being lead out in a bikini we were laughing at, Spoiler Spider is a Robot Patrol character taken from the Terminator Salvation video game which was designed for co-op play and borderline unplayable in single player since you needed someone to distract a terminator to expose it's vulerable battery pack on it's back to you to shoot but the AI almost never did this so you had to kill them exlusively by throwing grenades behind them so they made a game that for once depicted how extremely tough to kill terminators are by complete accident, the anti-pedophile sign is a real thing from some town in America and is in reference to Marks always calling StompleB a pedo, laying on the ground is the avatar of a user who's username is literally a blank space to imply he is a pedo who got stabbed by Marks, the racist sign is from a sundown town depicted in the show Lovecraft Country, the confederate flag is a smiley Cody asked me to add and the LGBT flag is another smiley (added by clay since he's gay), the pedestrian X sign now reads "no usernames ending in X" in reference to my username used to be rubycalaberX (I had an X on any platform my original account gets permabanned on lol), the other pedestrian X sign parody reads "vegans will be flayed" in reference to Marks hatred of Stomple and includes the Bolton house sigil from Game of Thrones
DESOLATION
You seem a little... hightened.
RUBY
yeah I dont know it's just when I'm with you things seem a little funnier.... like I've been huffing jenkem and you're some sort of euphoric jenkem hallucination not that I huff jenkem unless you huff jenkem then I huff jenkem errrday heh always huffin dat jenk a/d e/d
Director's Commentary: in the background are references to users DarkTree, armadillo and neauguay
DESOLATION
Well I doubt that effect will help much on this place.
RUBY
hey I'm sure GND isn't that bad, if it's good enough for barry it's good enough for me and he really likes this forum for some reason
so you know who runs it?
Director's Commentary: reference to barry's gay urges
DESOLATION
I have some idea...
Director's Commentary: I just listed user Erection., HELLDONG and loldong, ultra z-listers from ancient irc chat #?!, as these big black dicks since BBC are both funny and demons from hell sent to corrupt white women, newspaper article pinned up int he lower right is something alstopace photoshoped in reference to his obssession with photoshopping some random local band member into thousands of images, on the tree to the right is a lynching victim I cutout for my Futurama collage and on the left is a bait meme parody of a real world underwater cave sign
INT. GAYNIGGERDICKS.COM - TAMMY BEACON THREAD - NIGHT
Director's Commentary: a "bacon thread" was used to summon a poster you wanted to post with
PRONOUN
ok bro hes gonna try and make you SHIT TITS AND CLITS but you have to really FUCK HIS SHITS ya got me bud?
Director's Commentary: 50% of pronouns posts included the words shits tits or clits in this style
ABER
tammy, honey, ryan's treating you good, right? my mom always told me like if a guys hurting you you gotta leave him unless hes just like checking your pussy for another mans cum thats normal
Director's Commentary: reference to Aber ending up in an absuive relationship with GNAA troll DikkyHeartiez and her mother fingering her to make sure she hadn't had sex which is the most fucked up thing anyones casually said to me in passing since I thought Elz was trying to tell me his dad cut his foreskin off in the shower
VERITECHTAMMY
yeah, falling asleep during sex is pretty bad, but its the narcolepsy
Director's Commentary: tammy's posting color is the same as her blue polka dot dress
VERITECHRYAN
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz-wait what?
DRUNKPUPPIES
Alright people,, we need teh topest wyakltiy fcomedy here tonight, we rely need to crank out da funny posst
Director's Commentary: DP's dyslexic posting style was often imitated by other posters, but I don't think it's a posting style since I've never seen him actually type coherently before
Director's Commentary: their pop-ups are in reference to DP oweing child support with the figure in reference to how often memed on failed actor Brendan Fraser's reported owed child support, reference to Pronoun meeting up with iwascruel, Ryan really does suffer from narcolepsy and the phrasing of the pop-up is in reference to the countdown that pops-up in Death Stranding indicating when Nicolas Winding Refn's character would next pass out, Tammy once posted a pic of her wearing a ridiculous blue polcadot dress that became a meme and yes Aber really did marry someone from the Gay Nigger Association of America and was surprised to be beaten
I don't know any of these peoples dates of birth, fuck you.
Director's Commentary: breaking the fourth wall to just admit it, got lucky that I grouped in all these people who's D.O.B.s I couldn't find to make this joke
RUBY
uh oh he wants funny posts looks like barrys gonna have to leave
DESOLATION
Did you find the guy you're cyber stalking?
BARRY
fuck off ruby and no but I think I'm about to right now
DRUNKPUPPIES
uh oh, evryone watch out, here comes the big boy bily baddass poster from vagina,, to pwn all the nubs
DESOLATION
Vagina?
RUBY
I guess we're all from vagina if you think about it
BARRY
he's dislexic, he means virginia
Director's Commentary: yes dyslexic is misspelt here on purpose f u
DESOLATION
Ohh.
RUBY
ohh? oh jeez?
Fag Finder: the-cat-attack, xXJuGGaLo4LyFeXx, Jon Benet Ramsey, Dave Grohl, Dirt, xizor, Tjaden, playbuddy, Subtle Man of Mystery, girlfield, sheezy, ray
Director's Commentary: note the "cum" on Barry's coffee cup since he's gay lol get it
DRUNKPUPPIES
if you dont wanna get troled harderthan you ever thogh possible, i suggest you back, the fuck, up, cus look whoos tin thethread!! adn it looks like... he just goten e-laid!!! u jely timmy???
MARKS98
welcome to GND cockfags
Director's Commentary: "cockfags" is a Team America reference
POOPALEW
Or do you not know that wrongdoers will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor men who have sex with men.
Director's Commentary: Poopalew is a chatbot that Marks98 unleashed on the forum who would post mostly in bible quotes, also seen in the background is a girl Marks dated years ago I bad a pic of saved because I'm a creepy weirdo, edited the upside down 77 markings on the door to an SS symbol
LISA
trust me maks bubble... I'm aaaaaall woman XD
Director's Commentary: lisa's posting color is green, like her rep <3
Director's Commentary: I knew I had to have a lisa cameo in here somewhere and the idea for this joke literally came from lisa herself where she messaged me as I was making this thread and I gave her "the very rare opertunity to specify your role in a prestegious ruby megathread" and her first idea was "Can I kill teknorat or something?" but since SPOILERS Teknorat makes it through the story (physically) unharmed her second idea was "Have sex with maks, that would make him so mad" so after spending hours trying to find a moment in RV review videos of a woman laying in a winnebago's bed I made this image, the easter eggs are: a photo of a gf of marks tits, parody of a Weekend At Bernie's poster from the alt "FRANTIK"s avatar about how Lisa's forum BF Donny died, rooty creeping in the window I edited to look like it was at night time to match the rest of the scene waiting to try and rape lisa again, Lisa's Shoulder Angel & Demon fanmade Troll Squad characters Clay made, the condom I used with trollinator when she took my v-card that was actually originally the one Camoron used to lose his v-card before I repurposed it for another upcoming gag, Lisa is holding letter's that were sent to her by the father of her abortion meth dealer Peter Quinn from prison concerning posts on my fucking forum about Barry joking about marrying her that his 65 year old granny friend Anne Peterson (who Tek socially engineered to discuss this by pretending to be a cop on the phone lmao click HERE to listen to that) wrote to him about and when he got out he made an account and started posting about how Lisa bad mouthed him not a joke or a gimmick, there is a painting of Peter that Anne made for him that's actually pretty good not gonna lie, Lisa's pop-up is in reference to how she always claims to have a high IQ and uses the number 200 whenever trying to pull a random example for some reason, some weed from a sign Stevey made me once, some cocaine which marks uses by some of lisa's weed, marks dog Nova being sucked off by lisa's cat Jazz (rip), reference to threadlonging where marks used to spam this like 9999999 pixel tall image to lag a thread, an anti vegan sign I googled, his forum Gay Nigger Dicks logo, the logo for the Internet Ramones posting group Marks was apart of with Iwascruel, Internutt, Alsto Pace, Pastor Travis and Pronoun, a picture of a circus which Lisa used to work at represents user "thehyercircus", one of marks avatars pronoun made for him, a picture of marks irl visiting the store from Clerks, the winnebago logo I've used in many a stevey image, marks "yogsothoth rules" meme he kept putting in thread tags, a picture he used in his sig when he was getting banned, a picture of a dead baby bird fetus cracked out an egg he posted claiming it was his breakfast and a poster I made from when him and deso and m0nde and me played L4D, click HERE to watch some youtubes of this, I also gave Lisa infinite Rep (yes that green cock ejaculating green jizz ropes is the reputation system on rubynet) which she was obsessed with and me giving her rep on the actual forums caused the creation of like four different spin-off forums people got so mad, I thought of maybe having these pop-up things showing all posters Rep in relation to how popular they are but saving it just for Lisa is a lot funnier, the little black girl is "Ropafadzo" who Lisa kindly donated money to
BARRY
that the rape winnebago you're gonna buy stevey, ruby?
Director's Commentary: reference to me spending $4,413.29 USD to buy stevey a van, before that he was obssessed with buying a winnebago, or a "winnie" as Lucas Lee calls it in the film
RUBY
fuck off timbo
DESOLATION
maks?
BARRY
and she's just retarded, she means marks, the hottst guy on the forums
I'm not even kidding dude I'd suck his dick so hard he really would end up in a wheelchair like elz says
Director's Commentary: reference to Lisa annoyingly refering to marks98 as his parody of max goldberg's name, then a reference to Elezzzark for some reason spreading a rumor marks was in a wheelchair
DESOLATION
Oh man we gotta log out.
RUBY
what, why?
DESOLATION
I've... maybe cybered with this guy a few times.
Fag Finder: David Tennant, doodoodoodoo, Outlaw289, Neo-Hitler, names, Torrres
Director's Commentary: note user doodoodoodoo, a Dandada alt, is jacking off his BBC in the upper right corner
DRUNKPUPPIES
Holy fuk,k this is gonna get sooooo many repl-
MARKS98
zero replies faggot!
DRUNKPUPPIES
holy your fire son goddamn dis niga cant stop trolling even his good pals, unstooppale brutality
right guys, lets get some real hi qual and hi brow trolling in here, this is what ytmnsfd sndfw gmdf js tnlc forums is all about
Director's Commentary: "tnlc" is in reference to DP's satirical (but real) spin-off forum, The No Lisa Club
VERITECHRYAN
whats this i've been hearing about you guys hitting on my wife? is veritech ryan gonna have to choke a bitch?
ALSTO PACE
That's it, just let me zoom in on that ass... I love you tammy...
Director's Commentary: alsto's one line ITT is in reference to a video he made declaring his love for tammy (which her family found and ryan asked him to take it down but its still up lol, click HERE to view it) also there'd be a few more no-namers featured in this thread if Alsto hadn't changed half the forums avatars to his like some sort of Agent Smith style self-replicating jimmy rustler when he got given mod
VERITECHRYAN
knock it off, you're more annoying than my sister-in-l-
Director's Commentary: veritechryan used to post all the time complaining about his sister in law
MARKS98
hey! the only thing keeping me from cybering your bitch are the two seconds its gonna take me to hack your facebook!
VERITECHRYAN
you know what? screw you. i came here relieved for one of the first times in a week that my life was finally returning to normal after the ordeal ive had and you post some gay shit like that? nice compassion, jerkoff.
Director's Commentary: word for word a real post ryan made when getting trolled on the forums that became a copypasta
VERITECHTAMMY
oh marks... take me~
Fag Finder: jewdozer, Kill Cake 200606, I <3 Tweeting, panfu, blaqw0lph, blender fresh, Bardet-Biedl, ben hollis, Do, classic replies, dadandandna
Director's Commentary: "blender fresh" already appeared as a gamer at the arcade early in this thread but with a different avatar since I had his will smith avatar saved as "blender fresh" and this one as "blender fresh nigger" and thought they were two different users, im not racist I Swear!, I remember used Do would go on about anime as if it was an original gimmick when that was already 100% of ALOL content
RUBY
you cybered with that asshole?
DESOLATION
Like, two whole months ago. We talk about music a lot and he likes classic rock too, alright?
MARKS98
HEY!
DESOLATION
He's just some redneck Gen Xer it's not like he makes me cum signs or anything.
RUBY
but he posts pictures of dead cats!
MARKS98
HEY!! IM TALKING TO YOU FRUITY CALABER!
the only thing keeping me from cybering your bitch are the two seconds its gonna take me to hack your facebook!
Director's Commentary: fan made Troll Squad member "Marks Man Wheelchair" is seen in the background, made by Elz in reference to his forced meme, the info pop-up box here started out just being the xXx logo from the Vin Diesel movie I actually loved as a teenager, the joke being he's so cool and hardcore he gets an extra two X's for what generation he is like XXX strength alcohol, also in reference to Lucas Lee having a XX on his belt buckle, which in turn is in reference to him being the second evil X, but I realized a good way to pay credit to marks brash posting style was to have all three bits of info being a bright red image, including a "picture name" he used to have on the forums years ago where mods would give people images for their usernames
RUBY
but I dont have a...
Director's Commentary: love the effect of having the punch impact highlighted by camera flashes, reminds me of those kino DC animated shows where a brutal hit would be highlighted by a single all-white frame that really sold someone being stunned by a blow
RUBY
DONT HURT MY CAT!
Director's Commentary: note the attention to detail of the coffee cup still labeled "cum"
MARKS98
hey bro, you get that king crimson album I linked you?
Director's Commentary: real band marks and deso discussed on the forums once
DESOLATION
Ya... it was lit gucci cuz.
MARKS98
why're you hanging out with this guy? he seems like a fag, I don't want you talking to him anymore
DESOLATION
And I want a stratocaster autographed by Clapton, a lot of posters want a lot of things.
Director's Commentary: a real thing deso posted about wanting once
BARRY
how could you not appreciate posting with the infamous rubycalaber? he's so funny what with his uhhh... fucking his sister or whatever idk I don't even read his threads
MARKS98
pussycalaber more like
and you know what I do to pussies?
MARKS98
I FUCKING YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEET THEM!!!
Director's Commentary: the use of the term yeet in this line is anachronistic and out of character for marks but worth it for a reference to twitch streamer Alinity throwing her cat over her shoulder mid-intense gamer moment that no one on this forum will probably get but I find hilarous
RUBY
OH JEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEZZZZZZZZZZ
Director's Commentary: only two weeks before posting this thread did I realize I missed an obvious visual gag of being thrown into the BBCs from the intro to GND and I think the impact effect actually looks pretty good, was meant to be a shockwave but ends up looking like the skin on the BBC is rippling
RUBY
oof!
fubungle!
wah wah wee wah!
Director's Commentary: all stupid things I yell during intense gamer moments
MARKS98
wow he can get his voice higher than you deso
Director's Commentary: reference to deso's voice acting skills to pretend to be a... well... you'll see
DRUNKPUPPIES
holy fucking shit,, damn, cal the fucking burn unit because that was a SICL BURJ
BARRY
ruby... evil internet boyfriend... troll battle
Director's Commentary: three pillows .com is literally a bisexual porn site and recently DP was doxxed by Cag and revealed to actually be this zombie looking dude who he lied was just "my friend brian" for years so he has some explaining to do here, easter eggs here are old #wop chatter Neo-Hitler is holding a copy of Mein Kampf and Outlaw289, an ALOL user who appears again at the end, is holding a Death Note as his avatar is the protagonist of that anime Light Yagami (I'm A Gay backwards, just a quick example of the amazing writing in that anime)
MARKS98
you really think you can stand a chance against an a-lister bro?
Director's Commentary: this line is entirely unedited from the original movie since it's something marks would really post as "a-lister" is a common term to rank posters lmao
RUBY
th-the A stands for asshoOH JEEZ!
RUBY
fuck! he punched my tooth out!
Director's Commentary: this is in reference to my broken tooth story click HERE to read it, and yes that really is my hand, I lucked out with using my 4D chess planning ahead skills to take some pictures of my hands with my nails at their longest (entirely for this thread) in various hand signs like flipping off the camera at different angles ect, this one was actually me doing the "OK" symbol that 4chan successfully meme magic'd into being an unironic symbol for White Power that I managed to retrofit into holding the tooth
EASTER EGG EXTRA: click HERE for a pic of my nails that corrupted my cameras SD card like trying to take a pic of a lovecraftian monster
MARKS98
some troll you are
Marks' sex slave Cody cleans his posting hand for him.
CODY
now that I've lubed up your fist maybe you can try and fist me? I'm being ironically gay or whatever
Director's Commentary: usually I try to avoid repeating the same words in my writing as it always reads a bit jarring but that accurately gets across how phoney and cringe Cody's posting style is probably since he's literally been diagnosed with ASPD and can't into human interaction too good, at least it's not autism I guess
MARKS98
sure but I won't be able to fit it in as hard as you try and fit into the forums
Director's Commentary: reference to Cody always trying hard to fit into the forums, not fisting, but he has posted pix of him fucking male masterbater toys before
Director's Commentary: the pic I used of cody is the only one I didn't use for him in my Breaking Bad thread, glad I got to use this pic of him wearing a fucking confederate flag doorag, Goblin is the lowest KKK rank of their many DnD LARPer ranks and is in reference to Cody actually being a KKK member in real life until they kicked him out for him getting arrest for domestic violence which he claims was just him throwing a lighter at his wife who was old enough to be somenoes grandmother, none of that is a joke or a gimmick keep in mind
RUBY
oh yeah faggot? why dont you go fuck your dog some mo-
hey! read my post!
I didn't get to use all my dog bestiality jokes on m0nde
MARKS98
quit your bitching, you on your peroid?
Director's Commentary: reference to marks always accusing me of being on my period when I'd bitch at him in Left4Dead games
Director's Commentary: you may notice something a little... odd, here? about marks avatar? heheh, that's on prurpose dear (non existent) reader
MARKSBOAR
ruby... thats a girls name afterall
Director's Commentary: reference to Jesse Lee Peteron's legendary interview with streamer Destiny where he makes the same comment of his username
Fag Finder: Token Asian Faggot, LOLCOW
MARKS98
uh oh, looks like you're in for a gang bang
Fag Finder: Mr McGregor
Director's Commentary: the graffiti art in the background is THIS painting of this boomer republican spanking liberal youtuber David Packman who he calls to argue with on-air that was held up on webcam when Packman brought him on definately-not-therapy and definately-not-irresponsible twitch therapist Dr. K's stream when trying to show that he has healthy hobbies such as painting
MARKSBOAR
you're gonna bleed either way!
MARKS98
funny right? some days I only post as him from my phone when I feel like going to the range
the shooting range, none of that faggy scottish golf shit
DRUNKPUPPIES
rubys rally gong toget his hole damaged!
Director's Commentary: I knew I saved all of these marks parody alt account avatars from like 15 years ago for a reason... god bless my autism, click the following links to see marks parodies of CBERRY, VITAFIN, DANDADA, INTERNUTT, IWASCRUEL, MOTTLED BOAR, and PRONOUN, I really lucked out that he made 7 and there's 7 stuntmen to fight
MARKSBOAR
what can I say?
MARKSBERRY
ay ain' nuttin'
IWASMARKS
without~
VITAMARKS
My.
MARKS98
alts
DRUNKPUPPIES
ssomoene call dr garfield to repair his hole!!!!1
Director's Commentary: each alt talks like how marks would parody that user like cberry in ebonics, iwc acting overly feminine and vitafin using perfect gammer
BARRY
hey want me to play one of your stupid songs on my phone for your big fight scene?
RUBY
sure, I'm thinking the circumcision song since based on his age I'm guessing he's cut
BARRY
oh yeah americans always get angry as faaark when you point out they've been mutilated in a jewish ritual
Director's Commentary: this is one of my later songs that I was just looking for a place to crowbar in, everything mentioned in this song is 100% medical fact, http://www.rubycalaber.com/forums/showthread.php?t=195797]click HERE to view it's citations[/url]
BARRY
there you go, now ask them how it feels to be parodies of the biggest fags on the entire internet
RUBY
how does it f-
MARKSNOUN
nvm getting your dick cut
just cut your shitting nails!
MARKSDADA
they're fucking yellow dude!
Director's Commentary: please note how marksdada's avatar is actually animated with the scrolling rainbow text like marks original parody of dandadas avatar, this took a lot of effort fuck you if you didnt notice it before reading this, I mean thanks for reading this I love you
RUBY
I thought you'd at least grow out your pinky nail
so you could snort coke off it!
MARKSBOAR
are you seriously trying to troll me for doing drugs when you're too scared to even try alcohol?
RUBY
yeah for literally being a cocaine addict lmao
Director's Commentary: in the DVD commentary Edgar Wright says this fight sequence took them 2 weeks to make, yeah fucking me too m8
MARKSBERRY
ayo virgin cracka!
MARKSNUTT
ur the reason fanfare talks about white genocide!
Director's Commentary: "marksnutt" is cast as the one asian stunt-man since the real internutt is a GOOK
MARKSBERRY
handholdless!
kissless virgin!
MARKSNUTT
you'll be a wizard!
the 40 year old virgin!
IWASMARKS
oh ill cyber you im a girl tee hee
RUBY
wouldn't even cyber the real IWC
MARKSBERRY
yall even incel on da innanet!
Director's Commentary: put a lot of effort into synching up each line in accordance to which stuntmant is leveling an attack in the gif
MARKSBOAR
no girl would ever cyber you!
RUBY
I literally cybered deso last night!
VITAMARKS
As opposed to metaphorica-
RUBY
AS OPPOSED TO RAPING YOUR DAD!!!
MARKSDADA
hah I knew you were queer
RUBY
I'd rather be gay than have your luck with women!
Director's Commentary: reference to marks wacky dating troubles, although I won't divulge them here since he only told me about them in private and when literally high on coke and I like marks so will respect his privacy
MARKSBOAR
you mean with your mom?
MARKSBERRY
YO SISTAH!!!
MARKSBOAR
and deso?
MARKSBOAR
jk I'm not gay
RUBY
then why can't you keep a woman?
MARKSBERRY
hoes love what am packin!
RUBY
sure you're not compensating for something with longthread.png?
you're just like m0nde, obsess over your dog since you'll never have a kid!
MARKSNOUN
alright too far! I'm nothing like m0n-
RUBY
yeah, he actually knows about computers, he doesnt use a mac! only mac I can stand is macar-
IWASMARKS
hey remember that time ROY4L made you mod and you banned me for putting the agent orange baby on a porn pic?
Director's Commentary: real thing that happened, my first moral dilema as a mod
RUBY
and you call stomple the pedo?!
MARKSNUTT
it wasn't CP, you're just a little bitch who when he said jump on this dick you asked how high to bounce
RUBY
that why GND's always offline, you got raided for child porn?
MARKSBERRY
don' make a nigga git yo youtube 'n' freewebs taken down, busta!
Director's Commentary: something marks threatened to do during the rubynet civil war when I refused to ban plugdrugs, jokes on him freewebs deleted itself!
RUBY
whats the point of this racist alt anyway?
IWASMARKS
whats the point of your entire posting career?
RUBY
I mean I get you're not very original
MARKSBERRY
honkey mothafu-
RUBY
BUT WHITE TRASH LIKE YOU ARE THE EXACT SAME AS NIGGERS!!!
Director's Commentary: I forget why I even started calling marks white trash/hillbilly ect, I think it's because he's from Connecticut and I for some reason associate that with like appalachian trailer tarsh people
RUBY
suck me off on the dayly
VITAMARKS
ITS SPELLED DAILY!
Director's Commentary: advanced spelling joke here where "spelled" is spelt the US way, "spelt" being the the UK way which Vitafin would use, but as this is marks imitating him, would have spelled it differently
MARKSBERRY
time fo yo lil white ass to get BLACKED
MARKSDADA, MARKSNUTT, VITAMARKS, IWASMARKS, MARKSBOAR & MARKSNOUN
B!!! B!!! C!!! B!!! B!!! C!!!
MARKS98
hey I'm gonna let iMacros run on reddit, you guys got any suggestions for what to spam?
Director's Commentary: got lazy here and just made this a still image to not have to animate all these guys kicking Scott as he flails around, iMacros is a real program marks uses for spamming
VITAMARKS
Put in StompleB's most obnoxious vegan posts.
Director's Commentary: marks actually did spam StompleB's vegan rants on reddit, got lots of serious replies
MARKSNUTT
ya thats a g1
MARKSDADA
yeah fuck that vegan faggot
MARKS98
good idea hommies
MARKSBERRY
"hommies"? kinda racially charged there
YEAH TAKE DAT BLACK DICK WHITEBOI
Director's Commentary: proud of that last line ngl
DRUNKPUPPIES
litrlyl ltiearl LITERLY amerinca hsitory x beign reeenacted on ytmsfnmt....damn
MARKS98
they're already getting raged, that's actually hilarious
RUBY
hey marks!
RUBY
looks like you need to register some more unfunny alts, these keyboard warriors are toast
Director's Commentary: get it? keyboard warriors? good stuff
MARKS98
and you need a tampon for that bleeding vagina of yours!
Director's Commentary: the coffee being piss is a reference to the same joke I put in the speech bubble signature I made for piemanmoo, click HERE to view it. deep cut stuff
RUBY
hey there's nothing wrong with being a man with a pussy, Buck Angel knows!
MARKS98
what's wrong with you millennials?
MARKS98
bunch of overly emotional anxiety riddled limp wristed sissy liberals who get triggered over every little thing
RUBY
says the 40-something who's butthurt to this day about being asked to leave from a L4D2 game
Director's Commentary: ah I remember when 30-something was an insult that didn't apply to me
MARKS98
are you sure you're not one butthurt I crashed your faggy little e-date?
not that you were even playing you were just standing around trying to get fraps to work for an hour until you gave up and used an MP3 player to record you speakers you fucking moron
Director's Commentary: reference to a real thing I used to do, in fact click HERE to view footage of the exact game this is referencing
RUBY
dude we could have kicked you but you would have probably killed yourself
MARKS98
are you sure you're not just too much of a bitch to piss me off for real?
RUBY
I just don't want to be responsible for a suicide
MARKS98
yeah, your own, not that deso would have ever vote kicked an alpha chad like me
RUBY
you're only so mad because that swamp level reminded you of your home you trailer trash hillbilly!
RUBY
this is just like one of my japnanese animes!!!
MARKS98
ANIME FUCKING SUCKS!!!
Director's Commentary: reference to how these sequences in the film are obviously anime inspired, literally better anime movies than any actual anime movie, and I'm quoting Otacon from Metal Gear Solid 1
MARKS98
WAPANESE FAGGOT!!!!!
Director's Commentary: originally this line was "weeaboo faggot" but I feel marks wouldn't use a term like that that basically is from weeaboo culture on 4chan
RUBY
hi and bye!
Director's Commentary: another dumb thing I say when getting yeeted in a video game
RUBY
never forgeeeeet!!!
Director's Commentary: I already pointed it out in the audio commentary but I love the super subtle reference sight gag here of the backdrop of the empire state building being torn down to reveal the toronto tower since this is one of the only movies the crew worked on that was actually set in Toronto rather than having it double for New York and they were all proud it was showing off their hometown, gif has been edited in the style of my notorious jews did 9/11 ytmnd, click HERE to view it
MAX GOLDBERG
Anti-semites all over the world picked it up and they spun it their own way too.
Director's Commentary: reference to how my ytmnd was literally used as an example of antisemitism on a History channel documentary, with Max Goldberg, the YTMND founder, who ironically is not a jew with a name like that, as the expert commenting on my site, just to clarify for legal reasons of course jews didn't do 9/11 and some of my best friends are jews such as StompleB and Hitler
MARKS98
prepare to...
Marks98 closes the post with Ruby's unfunny 9/11 joke in it.
MARKS98
prepare to feel the brutal assrape of the league of evil internet friends!
RUBY
is that like the justice league? is batman gonna rape me like zack snyder wants?
Director's Commentary: reference to Zack Snyder saying "in my movie, Batman could get raped in prison" while trying to prove his edgy cred
MARKS98
you really dont know about the league? the seven evil internet friends coming to troll you off of the forums forever, controlling the future of desos online life?
RUBY
uhhhh... no...
MARKS98
oh well hey listen man dont worry about it, lets go get a beer
RUBY
thanks man but I really dont drink alcoho-
MARKS98
FUCKING FAGGOT WHAT KINDA MAN DOESNT DRINK?!
MARKS98
that's like being scottish and not eating haggis
but you're vegetarian so I guess you're a fag that way too
no wonder you gotta buy people steam games for them to be your friend
hey what's a slur for scottish people?... "jock".... nah I can't call a beta like you that
Director's Commentary: reference to all the crap I've bought my internet friends over the years which you can click HERE to read this is because I'm a fucking retard with money not that I need to b-buy friendship or a-anything
RUBY
wow you're a fucking asshole
MARKS98
I just make sure little pussy dweebs like you stay in their place and dont get any crazy ideas like that you're not little pussy dweebs
RUBY
hey I'm not the one who gave up my one and only good gimmick of posting dead animal pictures
MARKS98
my dog died alright, I couldnt dishonor her memory by posting pictures of other peoples dead pets anymore, I even got her tattooed over my heart
Director's Commentary: marks real reason for giving up the NEDM gimmick
RUBY
it's just that... theres this 4chan board... /an/... it could really use some dead animal pictures
MARKS98
they're called shock images bro
RUBY
well could you post some dead animal shock image pictures on /an/?
MARKS98
are you serious? moot just added recaptcha, even if I leave iMacros dumping my old nedm folder I'd still have to type out every captcha manually
Director's Commentary: this is fairly chronologically accurate, CAPTCHA was added to 4chan in summer of 2010 and this is supposedly set in winter 2010, but I only finished this sequence in I think 2015 literally 9 days before google changed CAPTCHAS to the horrible "select all squares of the image with cars in them", although I later realized you can select the old captcha thank god but I thought I'd had a hella close call for a bit since this sequence rellies on the older version
RUBY
well if it's too hardcore...
MARKS98
you really think you can goad me into wasting my entire weekend sitting at my computer entering captchas into an anime image board?
Director's Commentary: originally the joke I was thinking of going with was him posting longthread.png so much it crashed his computer but I'm glad I came up with this gag since it works so well visually
Director's Commentary: it took a long time to find the right sequence of threads to screencap where they were actually on-topic and posting pictures of animals and not just shitposting lmao, in fact it took so long I didn't bother to make new screencaps when I upscaled the image which is why they're so blurry, but you can tell what the board is meant to be pictures of so it works
RUBY
there are forum girls watching...
Director's Commentary: made sure to add all the female posters in this scene in the background for this line
MARKS98
somebody get me my keyboard
BARRY
hi... I'm gay for you... I want to suck your cock sir
MARKS98
why wouldnt you?
DRUNKPUPPIES
hes actionly doing it the absoltue madlad!
Marks98 gets on the /a/ - Animals and Nature image board on 4chan.org.
He starts dumping his massive NEDM folder at mach speeds.
Director's Commentary: made sure to edit the folder to be a mac interface, saved all the animal abuse pictures from a /b/ thread to troll on the furry board in 2005 only to get banned when it turned out to be an april fools honeypot prank lol
Marks98 opens up another thread and starts spamming two at the same time, entering CAPTCHAs as soon as they appear.
Director's Commentary: I didn't actually post NEDM pix on /a/, these are all photoshoped screeencaps, I am a reformed troll, who only unleashes the sword of pwnage on the guilty
BARRY
woah...
RUBY
is that it's head?
Marks98 opens up even more threads and moves onto the animal experimentation section of his folder.
Director's Commentary: there was another shot here of Lucas Lee hopping between railings as the camera swings around but it was too complicated to edit in the image board screencaps to so I just didnt bother lol dont tell anyone
BARRY
woah...
RUBY
why would someone do that to a dog?
Marks98 hits 200 NEDM pictures spammed, only the sleek user friendly experience of a Mac keyboard can keep up with his furious typing.
Director's Commentary: reference to Lisa's special 200 number, shout out to whoever I got this footage of of someone typing on a mac keyboard years ago
BARRY
WOAH...
RUBY
WOWZA KABLOWZA!
Director's Commentary: another dumb thing I scream in video games
But wait! Marks98 remembers too late that apple products are actually overpriced garbage as he starts getting spinning beach balls until he hits The Gray Screen of Death.
Director's Commentary: actually had to do a lot of research into what happens when macs go wrong and apparantly they're way rarer than blue screens of death that have plagued every computer I've owned after about 4 years lol
BARRY
woah...
RUBY
he bluescreened!
Marks98 is shamed off of the forums for life for being an IT guy who uses a meme computer for gay liberal hipsters.
Director's Commentary: my idea before marks being baited into crashing his computer was he accidentally posted bestiality and gets V& for it, but the gag would require me to actually post bestiality and I don't want to get V& myself lmao, I'll just reuse this joke idea with child porn in my next thread
RUBY
YES! even my new alienware couldnt take dumping that many images, and everyone knows macs are underpowered pieces of shit
but I shoulda said something funny like "looks like your dogs dick isnt the only thing you... blue"
Director's Commentary: reference to the alienware I'd only had for four months by dec 2010 but that went on to crash furiously 4 years later
BARRY
of course you couldnt have said that because that would actually be funny
(even though macs dont bluescreen you fucking idiot)
DRUNKPUPPIES
and thatsa rap eeveryone, grate poasting, time fo the forums to be dead asfuck agin for aonther 16 hour
se yuo on the no lisa club.com!
BARRY
that must be all the money he's going to have to spend fixing his shitty mac
RUBY
hey where'd deso go?
BARRY
probably off getting air tighted with three huge nigger bucks running a train like all college girls, that's why she plays basket ball
Director's Commentary: reference to deso playing a bit of the ol b-ball in college
Director's Commentary: no these replies are not real, I posted these posts on /b/, changed the board style to be blue like /a/ and used inspect element hacker magic to change the dates to be accurate to the threads period setting, this was a lot of effort so can't be bothered doing it again to get larger screencaps for this upscaled images
RUBY
what's the deal, srsly?
BARRY
its all about the BBC bro, trust me
Director's Commentary: this is where I gave up making images in 2014, went back and made this gif for this neat transition a year ago, considered editing the moon and sun to be meme things but I already have the moon as two different things later on and its actually a really cool visual by itself, same for Lucas skating under it above
EASTER EGG EXTRA: click HERE for rare behind the scenes pic of what me, marks and reno do in our private discord chats (this is an edit of a real photoshoot Michael Cera, Jason Schwartzman and Chris Evans did for some reason lol, note the radio I have says Ozone as a shoutout to, well, if you don't know you won't know)
INT. THE GAY TANK - MORNING
Director's Commentary: unfortunately I lost the photoshop file for the images for the scenes between the movie set scenes and the next concert scenes, idk how since I backed up my work each year on three different harddrives but you know... computers, thankfully this is only 50 odd images with not much visually interesting happening than characters talking to each other so I just enlarged the images I'd saved from it, I remade some of the more complex ones but couldn't be fucked on some of the more generic ones that are just close up of avatars already blurry from being maximized by 500% anyway
Ruby is sending annoying Skype messages to Deso since he has no life.
RUBY
hey its me again... ruby... message me back when you read this... uh ruby calaber... m-misspelled that way on purpose... it's a final fantasy II reference... ok bye...
Director's Commentary: dialog references Scott feeling the need to clarify his last name and a lie I used to tell people on IGN trying to diss me about misspelling "caliber" and I'd tell them it was in reference to a misspelt weapon name in FF2 which is complete bullshit but they always believed it and let me get away with it to not risk sounding like they weren't Real Gamers™ who know all the obscure trivia (only after doing my final day-before-posting rewatch of the movie and reread of this thread did I notice the line where Scott tries to play the bass line from Final Fantasy II, I completely forgot he mentions that even though I reference the same game in the above line in reference to me really lying that's why my username is spelt that way and chose that game at random on IGN like 20 years ago, my entire fucking life really is in this movie holy mother of christ)
RUBY
what's the deal, srsly?
BARRY
typical ruby cant come up with anything original to say
RUBY
you know what really sucks though?
BARRY
is it lost?
RUBY
you, on cocks
BARRY
oh come on brah, you cant say you didnt see this cumming
RUBY
what?
BARRY
havnt you read plug drugs threads? all women are cheating manipulative lying whores
Director's Commentary: reference to PD's demented incel rant threads
RUBY
good thing you're a raging homo then
Director's Commentary: easter eggs here are Robot Patrol member Big Dick Brutal Bonecrusher's dildo on the broom, a duster is turned into a tail buttplug and a handheld vaccume cleaner is turned into an autosucker sex toy since barry is gay and gays are promiscious get it, above the fridge is a picture of skrizach working as a volunteer firefighter and let's just say he is also representing user "VolunteerFirefighter" and me IRL at an Iraq war protest in like 2005 holding up a sign saying "#wop all night, free palestine, less than three fanfare" in the Israeli section, probably on a terror watchlist for this and I didn't even really know what it meant at the time fanfare just told me to do it, I also remember my mum asking "isn't wop a racist thing?" lol, on the fridge is a gif from Gush's megathread on Barry saying "I love a special boy with autism" and such, a pic of Barry and Ramen flexing their arms on cam, a pic from a ytmnd of the time fanfare wrote irc channel #?! on fyrestorms face to epic own him, a photoshop I made of me and Tek in the shower since we are gay for our podcast and his wife actually saw that pic and was like wtf lmao, a very real picture of fanfare and vitafin meeting up, a pic of roflbrothel, siburke393, dakkon, vitafin and redguts meeting up in London, roflbrothel holding a mudkip pokemon card I sent to be given to fanfare, a pic fanfare made me of her and me, a pic of internutt and iwascruel getting married from THIS collage, the pic of the sexy dolphin on the front is actually the pic Teknorat put up on rubycalaber.com when he bought it in like 2008 to put a loop of me saying something like "teknorat suck my dick you fuckin faget" in Team Fortress 2 which he ended up giving me for this very forum and the text on the notepad is in reference to barry gradually becoming more le redpilled at this time
BARRY
what did you think these were?
RUBY
porn that's 133% hotter than regular porn? th-the X button on a ps3 controller being pressed really fast because shes playing heavy rain and jason just went missing? the infra-F lister #wop chatter xxxxxxx? the wifi password?
Director's Commentary: goddamn I am funny for coming up with three different things seven Xs could be, final joke stolen from DGG chat watching this movie
BARRY
SEVEN... TROLLING... INTERNET FRIENDS
RUBY
uuhughgughuhguhg why does everything have to be some elaborate mystery, I got tired of that shit watching too many LOST rip-offs
I used to be so popular on the forums, everyone would make me signs! now they're just watching me get owned constantly
BARRY
if you dont want to get trolled then you have to troll back
show those retards who you are, step up your game ruby break out the L word
RUBY
but that show sucks
BARRY
no the other L word
RUBY
...LOST?
Director's Commentary: sign's on the fridge are from ramen, foxxi, aber, artemis/paulreubens a picture duxx made me of a float she was making for a Mardi Gras parade, Teknorat's AK, a sign from none other than America's Next Top Model two-time runner-up Allison Harvard aka Creepy-Chan and fanfare, a candle sign deso made me, pronoun & roflbrothel & caz, another fat guy my IGN friend radi0volta tricked into making a sign for me by telling him I'd buy him a PS3, a sign dakkon, siburke393, roflbrothel, fanfare and vitafin made me during their London meet-up, a sign qt scottish transgirl Ellybabe made me after being prompted by StompleB, Dandada, Lisa, Gabi, a foot sign Gabi made for my 27th birthday, vitafin and roflbrothel in their first meet-up just before I listened to her taking his V-card over skype lmao, momthinksimcool who everyone thinks Deso is (thanks guys <3) and a sticker from the South Korean radical feminist group Megalia who do epic praxis such as making fun of dead male soldiers, male suicides and one of their members even filmed herself molesting an underage boy to epic own the patriarchy, their logo is the international symbol for "small penis" kek
BARRY
that show sucks even more, its "love" ruby i wasnt trying to troll you or some shit
basically mate if she really is the girl of your wet dreams... then you have to let her know, you gotta drop your apathy gimmick
RUBY
but I already make her cumsigns, that's the most intimacy I've ever had with another person
BARRY
i used to think that a boy i loved could save me from my depression, but i found it within myself the strength i needed to become happy again, the source was semen and the cause was addiction, i learned a very important lesson that you need to poz your neg hole, a twink with even the tightest ass cant work miracles(dont think a guys selfish just because you dont get to cum up their ass in return its not like you can fall in love with a guy and its instantly vice tight assfucking) and that i am the ONLY person i can truely rely on, ME!(the now happier, funnier, better than before barry)
Director's Commentary: that dialog is a real spiel barry went on about self-actualization that I only changed to make it about guys and not girls
RUBY
but... barry... you're not funny at all
BARRY
oh well i guess you should just go troll the fuck out of all of desos other internet friends so she'll pay more attention to you
RUBY
yeah! fuck those fags! thanks for the pep talk barry!
BARRY
dont mention it also i need you to stop posting in the gay tank forever
RUBY
what?!
BARRY
yeah im kind of banking on you two fucking off to classicrockforums.com or some shit together so i dont have to kick you out and feel all guilty or something i don't know
Director's Commentary: in the background written on the notepad is "6 points, 6 triangles , 6 sides" which is a commom schizo nazi conspiracy about the star of david proving jews are demons
Ruby gets an incoming Skype call.
BARRY
time for phone sex better whip your dong out bro
Ruby scrambles to answer.
RUBY
hey!
Director's Commentary: Juliet's alias "Edele Hansel" here is her character's name in Running Scared where she actually plays a kiddy porn producing serial child killer pedo and the image is one I used for a joke about her hacking my myspace in like 2006 with obvious tongue in cheek references to liking kids too much which lead to me getting a creepy message from probably a real pedo saying he loved kids too and flaglerchat posting this picture thinking he'd found a real pic of me lmao rest in shit you dumb old fuck
JULIET
hy ruby
RUBY
j-j-juliet?
BARRY
OSHI-!!!
JULIET
been a while..
RUBY
uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
JULIET
1488 days i think..
RUBY
a-aproximately
JULIET
how r u?
RUBY
I'm still recovering...
JULIET
what r u wearin?
RUBY
I'm in my pj bottoms and I have a shirt that says SARS on it because it's funny when people who arnt white dHEY STOP IT!!!
JULIET
whats the matter? u have a gf? should i be jealous.gif?
Director's Commentary: reference to THIS creepy-chan gif I made
RUBY
yeah I have this totally awesome girlfriend who I listen to pink floyd with and she actually reads my threads
JULIET
whats her username?
RUBY
why so you can send Ethan Rom to abduct her? I'm not telling you desolations usernSHIT!
Director's Commentary: in the second more lizard heavy version of the script the Ethan Rom LOST reference was changed to a reference about getting flaglerchat to dox her but let's just say that joke would be a bit past its sellby date by now (since hes dead irl lmao!)
JULIET
doxxed lol
Director's Commentary: the flashback filmstrips in the background with a young Matthew Fox from his Party of Five days is from Elizabeth Mitchell's creepiest scene in Running Scared
RUBY
what? do you know her?
JULIET
what? no...
RUBY
because it sounded like you did
JULIET
no im just... membering the last time i saw you..
RUBY
what? are are you masturbating right now?!
JULIET
wud u oooh lik it if i was?
RUBY
no! god, I'm like a third of your age!!
JULIET
oooooh i think you do i bet ur jerkin ur lil cock rite now arnt u prob bout to cum just from hearing m-
Director's Commentary: that is just how pronoun used to type when playing Juliet, just to remind you that this is not a joke or a gimmick and another poster really did steal one of my roleplaying characters to chat to me with like that movie, fittingly titled, Ruby Sparks where a writers fictional girl from his script comes to life
Ruby hangs up and starts sobbing uncontrollably. Barry comes over to comfort him.
BARRY
ssshh youre ok bud... but you have to admit though that shits pretty funny
Ruby gets another incoming Skype call.
BARRY
oh maybe its her I hope you get sexually assaulted over the phone some more that was classic!
Director's Commentary: in the background is one of the first forum collages I ever saved that someone else made way back in 2005, I remember being surprised they used a LOST cast group pic and leaving me in as the only unedited person as I already had Matthew Fox as my avi, I was flattered, whoever made it, hope you don't mind me stealing your idea for the next several decades, click HERE to view it, no idea who half the users included are
Barry answers it.
BARRY
oh hey trollinator
RUBY
uuugghhh gooodddddd
BARRY
whats that? your coming into the gay tank to terminate us all? bit homophobic
RUBY
oh jeez!
Director's Commentary: collages in the background were the scraps I was left with after doing every other one, couldn't help myself but add THIS megacollage that took me 5 years to make but edited out the dates referning to ytmnsfw dying to keep it period accurate, THIS pic I saved from /tv/ where someone made a fancasting poster of a Mass Effect movie starring Matthew Fox and Summer Glau and some weird as fuck collage someone made for I think the super old 2004 forums before I even got there that I've can't find the original of anymore
Barry goes to greet Trollinator to the Gay Tank, distracting her from Ruby.
TROLLINATOR
Is Ruby here?
BARRY
you know what? he just logged out
Director's Commentary: note the skill of the text on the door moving with it, all manually done frame by frame, unironically more effort put in than modern day algorithmically generated animated movies
TROLLINATOR
Why is he not here? Is he in danger?
BARRY
no hes fine just having phone sex with hot bitches and shit
TROLLINATOR
Which hot bitches and shit? And do their high temperatures increase their threat profile?
Director's Commentary: Trollinator has snowflakes.exe loaded on her flip phone, a virus that deletes your harddrive people used to trick others into downloading on the forums, the "free BJs inside" graffiti in the background is a reference to how Summer Glau probably gets casting couched to keep getting hired, nah I'm just kidding its just an oral sex gag (heh gag, ok theres the funny joke I was looking for)
EXT. THE YTMNSFW FORUMS - MORNING
Ruby storms angstily through his dead forum. He begins to have flashbacks. But not like on Lost, just voice overs.
JULIET (flashback)
u have a gf?
BARRY (flashback)
SEVEN... TROLLING... INTERNET FRIENDS
DESOLATION (flashback)
You may have to troll my seven evil internet friends.
TEKNORAT (flashback)
it's troll or be trolled now, okay?!
General Doli (flashback)
you are definately in no way at all a pants shitting aspie worse poster ever
BARRY (flashback)
all women are cheating manipulative lying whores
JULIET (flashback)
come on ruby i no u want 2 fuck oooh yeh thats it its ok baby mommy loves u aww dont cry bb here you can suck on m-
Director's Commentary: "stop for motif" is in reference to how the seven X's in the frame are in reference to the seven evil exes, Troll Squad member Rage Rex gets a cameo in the background, the "public fleshlight" sign is a real thing from Burning Man
Ruby's horrific rape PTSD flashback is interrupted by someone internetting past him at mach speeds.
RUBY
don't smoke monster me bruv!
Director's Commentary: reference to the black smoke effect being similar to the monster on LOST, "don't [comedic name for attack] me bruv!" is something I say a lot in video games
RUBY
doing my day-daily matrixes!
Director's Commentary: "doing my daily [reference]" is another thing I say a lot when gaming, reference to marks' vitafin account correcting my spelling of dayly previously
RUBY
sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeit!
dios mio! this is not panning out!
Director's Commentary: reference to THIS meme video from The Wire, "dios mio" is something I started shouting during gaming after playing too much Tom Clancy's Ghost Recon Wildlands where the NPCs say that, saying something isn't "panning out" is something I say often in gaming
RUBY
alright, you dun goofed...
fuckin mon then...
Director's Commentary: reference to the meme from Jessi Slaughter's father (rip), "fuckin mon then" is scottish for "fucking come on then"
RUBY
hell yeah my dude hell yeah my dude hell yeah my dude...
tactical sieg heil!!
Director's Commentary: repeating "hell yeah my dude" as I'm waiting for something bad to happen to me or enduring it was something I did a lot in gaming, "tactical [silly action]ing" is a typical thing I say when gaming
RUBY
HELLO WHORE!!!
Director's Commentary: reference to me referencing THIS hilarous scene in the worst season of Dexter a lot while catching a female enemy off guard in games
RUBY
jesus she-dog baheezy...
well that was a very interesing theory as to what an engaging emergent event consists of, bravioso seņor bushpigo
Director's Commentary: "jesus she-dog baheezy" is bizzare thing I used to say a lot during gaming, no idea where I got it from, "thats an interesting theory", "engaging emergent event", "bravioso seņor [content creator]o" were all things I said during gaming, "bushpig" is a common insult other australian lady Lisa uses
IWASCRUEL
you punched my triangle tit!
prepare to get trolled, obviously!
Director's Commentary: her info pop-up references the Adverse Childhood Experience survey Tek introduced me to as the most accurate psychological profiling tool, not sure what IWCs real score is but she has loads of stories of abuse and neglect, don't know her age so put in a joke about her mental state, tbh she didn't seem that immature compared to certain other posters we get now adays, when I told IWC I was making a thread she was in years ago she requested for me to use her rollergirl avatar but I've only got so many pictures of that woman and IWCs selfies are a lot more varied visually and also she had a tanty and tried to dox tek and threatened to dox deso and I had to demod her and she quit the forums forever so fuck em dawg, her "triangle tits" is something elz and barry used to rib her about
RUBY
look if I'm going to get trolled by another girl today can it at least be by a hot one?
IWASCRUEL
oh oh Fuck,
I'm troling al over him, and he loikes it, of course
RUBY
what's that from?
IWASCRUEL
ITS A FUNNY IN-JOKE ALRIGHT
g-d, you'd get it if you were in the internet ramones circlejerk!
Director's Commentary: that is indeed some cringy in-joke even I don't know the origin of, note the kino where IWC has sunglasses on in every scene here as it takes place during the sunny day in the bright white snow outside and she has them propped up here to talk to me
RUBY
but you're a girl how can you be in a circlejerk?
IWASCRUEL
I lay in the middle while the guys all jerk off over me, shit is so ca$h
Director's Commentary: last phrase there is in reference to what ramen had written on her as she tongued a guys anus in pix IWC found of her on /b/
RUBY
alright well I'm really not in the mood to have some stupid troll battle right now
Director's Commentary: wanted poster for flaglerchat was made by his other arch nemisis twitchin kitten who kept trying to get my forum taken down as he posted on there but thankfully chilled out when he fucking died irl, although she did have me save flag posts so she could print them out and read them out in court when trying to sue him lol, OG Troll Squad member Reply Sloth seen up the telephone pole there getting a good sniper position, very new user Barry_Wilson seen peaking over the fence, on the snow is the phrase "nigger death" which deso kindly wrote in the snow for me like 11 years ago, on the wall is a parody poster of Donnie Darko making fun of dead poster Donnie I think DP made, on the left is the rabbit_hole smiley that's in reference to nutnics infamous "prepubescent rabbit hole" comment
IWASCRUEL
okay little gallus gallus, I'm on my anal period anyway, I wouldnt want to get menstrual cramps in my bowels from kicking your ass too hard
Director's Commentary: "gallus gallus" is some dumb meme IWC used, she really did claim to menstruate out of her anus and I remember telling my dad that and he remembers it like a decade later, there is a super rare condition that makes a woman's mucous membranes bleed when her hormones are high around her period but realistically she is simply a fucking moron who assumes that's where some blood is coming from when she wipes on the toilet or perhaps has an anal fissure that opens up coincidentally at that time of the month when she's paying extra attention to her wipes, I get that (the anal fissure (from juliet pegging me) not the period)
RUBY
your anal what?
IWASCRUEL
nothing!! I MUST AWAY!!!
Iwascruel logs out.
Director's Commentary: "I must away" is something Elz once said and IWC copied, edited the onomatopoeia "paf" to "fag"
RUBY
oh god I really shouldnt have dropped the trollinator gimmick
INT. LIVEJASMIN.COM - MORNING
RUBY'S SISTER
ciamarathathu?
Translation: Gaelic for "hello"
RUBY
it's ruby
RUBY'S SISTER
wits thae stooshie boot em thae noo ya nugget?
Translation: What is the constroversy about him now you idiot?
RUBY
no it's ruby it's actually me
RUBY'S SISTER
iv yiz ben pannin mer wee roasters in rammies gain ya radge?
Translation: Have you been beating more little rude people in fights again you thug?
RUBY
I didn't do anything it's everyone else thats crazy look I'm having a tizzy right now are you still working?
RUBY'S SISTER
heavy boot tae poor oot, oor knapdarlochs punters kippy fae thunoo
Translation: This place is about to severely empty, our bullshit customers are leaving for now.
RUBY
cool I'm logging on
Director's Commentary: edited Stacey's nametag (which is Bryan Lee O'Malley's real sister's real nametag) to begin with an "Si" instead as if her last name is literally "sister" or maybe you could read it as that's the fetish she caters to on livejasmine
Ruby browses into livejasmin.com, where his sister works.
RUBY
can I get a private show while I'm here lol?
ROFLBROTHEL
YOU WANT WEBCAM SEX WITH YOUR SISTER?!!!
RUBY
ah! those boobs are too big and necrotically pale to be my sisters, what have you done with her?!
Director's Commentary: you may notice some expert continuity in this scene where rofl has her natural black hair but in her later apperance has dyed it red again, references again to gamer girl pee and bathwater, the "poop on cam" meme, for le sex number of course, is copyrighted to siburke393, the user Wet Panties avatar is hidden amongst the Live Jasmin girls, the anachronistic poster promoting facemasks is a real one reading "please cover your mouth and nose" issued by the German government in Hamburg's red light districty, lol
CAG
li-i-i-i-i-i-ike im gonn ahav ea panic attack!!
Director's Commentary: reference to cag's supposed anxiety disorder and how her vocal fry kicks up so badly it becomes a stutter when she gets worked up, hope you enjoyed your cameo clarissa!
SNOOFALAH
I hope someday you learn to build up instead of tear down... now show me your period blood
Director's Commentary: reference to how someone catfishe'd old-school no-namer snoofalah who made the mistake of returning to the forums and someone flirted with him while pretending to be cag and leaked his dick during a cybersex session, reference to cag's period blood painting referenced previously, he posted the wall of care: "I haven't been able to get over Cag's betrayal. I was really hurt. I've actually been losing sleep over it. I thought, stiff upper lip, ride it out, it's just hazing, man up, but no. I thought we were becoming friends and she turned around and did this to me. She did it for no good reason, only to embarrass me and make me look foolish. Why would I want to be around people like that? Turns out, I wouldn't. I don't think this forum is redeemable. It's too far gone. Maybe you'll say "Well he just doesn't get it", "He doesn't fit in". If hurting people is fitting in then I want no part of it. I'm proud to be an outcast in a group like that. I hope someday you learn to build up instead of tear down. I won't be here to see it. I just wanted to talk about the good old days on YTMND. This does not appear to be the place for that." I mean he's not wrong
RUBY'S SISTER
tha mi duilich ah hadtay bolt, er paps air peely-wally fabby yocker but aye? dinny bea fearty cat n pump er gantin fud we yer stauner, geez er muckle chebs a diddy-ride, geet yer tadger sook ayr a boaby chugger, ah wan tae me
Translation: I am sorry, I had to run. Her breasts are pale but fablulously large, yeah? Don't be a scardey cat and fuck her horny vagina with your erection, give her large breasts a titfuck, get your dick sucked or penis jerked off, all one to me.
Fag Finder: Doctor Remulak, .gaysexmmk., Blaze Master 420 #bout_it, Alex Littleton, dartmouth, DrHundos
Director's Commentary: m0nde's Troll Squad fan characters PHP Pussy and Aztec Code Asshole make an apperances along with LOST numbers, discord dipshit misanthropicvixen who gets on webcam and lets white guys pay to call her a nigger slut makes an apperance, a joke about the trafficking porn that takes ages to get taken down from cam and streaming porn sites and how ASMR is obviously for coomers, other users referenced whos avis appear are ObedientGirl69, LILY CANT HANDLE DUPLICATES, bitecroche (with an anachronistic andrew tate reference) and teebor, user tmx appears as a storefront, Max Goldberg's old IRC chatbot d[o_o]b aka doob makes an apperance along with Doctor Remulak who made himself a fan made Troll Squad signature, I always assumed this was a marks98 alt and seems to be in reference to some prank caller who'd call radio stations to just say "I am Doctor Remulak!", easter eggs are the girl showing her tits is in an omegle screencap Reno's brother Alteru showed me and asked to be included in my thread I mentioned making, never could figure out what to parody the buns in the foreground as so went with a gooning reference uhh if you don't know what that is don't worry about it
ROFLBROTHEL
so what can i ****ing do for you? ***wank? ****job? foot****?
Director's Commentary: censored words here are titwank, blowjob and footfuck
RUBY
is there anything you WONT do you slut?
ROFLBROTHEL
im a classy bird something a ****** virgin like you wouldnt know anything about and btw i cant ****ing believe you started stalking deso after i specifically told you not to ****ing do that!
RUBY
why arent you spelling out swear words? is this some new running joke like "oh my g-d?" because its a bit nf my dear
Director's Commentary: one of Lily's many avatars of a girls tits is above the avatar of user "machete killer", a picture of the man who killed her daughter (for real), user "seņora los manos"s avatar was the infamous ramen /b/ sex pics and user "BIG BERT'S ASSHOLE"s username was in reference to her lover's nickname, OG Troll Squad member Zoy Zebra is seen outside, abigoose is the customer, users "diarrhea drinkin fag", "MisterJack" (an shoop of Donnie jacking his shitty dick, RIP) and "anal feces homo" are advertising gay, scat, and gay scat porn, the font for this joke is literally called "queer" on dafont.com lol
ROFLBROTHEL
BECAUSE IM A CLASSY ****ING BIRD!
Director's Commentary: this used to be a still image but I figured it would look way better with the swiping motion made into a gif
ROFLBROTHEL
now what do you have to say for yourself?!
RUBY
sorry I just have serious girl problems, like.... five.... six.... seven, if I include talking to you right now, girl problems
ROFLBROTHEL
all girl problems are caused by the guy not knowing how to take charge of his woman because he's a being a little ******
Director's Commentary: the kind of misogynist thing roflbrothel used to unironically say, typical female Tory voter
RUBY
me? a six letter word I can infer means I'm gay?
ROFLBROTHEL
you should have learnt your lesson after you let yourself get trolled by a *****ing kid ****** **** like THAT
Director's Commentary: censored words here are "fucking kid raping pedo"
RUBY
right uh I'll just go see if there are any traps on cam over here, I hear linetrap is on today, maybe she remembers me and stevey
Director's Commentary: note the pizzagate boy lovers symbol, dialog in reference to me and stevey chatting to linetrap on webcam discussed above
DESOLATION
Sorry that got a little savage last night.
RUBY
yeah... you kind of logged out as I was posting...
DESOLATION
Yeah, I do that... listen, I know I can be a little pretentious, I totally understand if you don't want to chat anymore...
RUBY
no I still want to chat, it's just the whole evil internet boyfriend thing-
DESOLATION
Evil internet friends.
RUBY
it's no biggie, I think you're really SHIT!
Director's Commentary: the nude images in the back are Lisa making a tit sign for deso, a photoshoped porn pic someone made of ramen and fanfare, lizard Rose West's tits, a thot with a ytmnd shirt on I cast as the user "YTMND SuperFan", a pic someone made of lizard queen Iguana Goddess getting BLACKED, rootbeers ex-wife Dick Whisperer, user PerGoob, trans poster Obnoxious Bitch's ass and lizard thot ufotard, the barista is lolwhales, a jewish man who married muslim forum girl Terror Baby, ZIONIZED.COM
RUBY
it's my ex-waifu
DESOLATION
The pedo one?
Director's Commentary: the artwork around the Smiles At Pedophiles poster are all by StompleB, other than the comic on the far left which is by Elz, Juliet's pop-up is in reference to the supposed codephrases that mean doing BDSM on kids in the pizzagate emails and 1970 is Elizabeth Mitchel's birth year
RUBY
uh huh... juliet
DESOLATION
I'm gonna uh... log out again.
JULIET
ur fingernails are gettin long
RUBY
yeah well your fingernails are getting inside small children so fuck you
Director's Commentary: the longest I ever grew my nails out for this stupid thread, I was borderline (physically, as opposed to the usual mentally (and physically from weakness)) disabled for months
JULIET
nice chris chan clown shirt too
so thats desolation?
Director's Commentary: I bought this shirt at a store years ago literally just for this gag of it looking like something Chris Chan would wear (autistically catalogued on his fan wikia, click HERE to view it), my mum and gran were like wtf since I never ask for clothes and then years later I told my mum it was for an "internet joke" and I'd never actually wear it so she can just give it away but it actually came in handy this winter when it was so cold I needed as many shirts as I could wear to survive walking my dog, thanks Christine!
RUBY
yeah
Director's Commentary: cocks in the background are siburkes massive 9 incher and apollo's BBC
JULIET
k, im jelly
RUBY
you're jelly?
JULIET
ya it hurts my feelings :(
RUBY
you're the one who molested me so you could sell the videos on the dark web!
Director's Commentary: setting up how scary the dark web is for later
JULIET
i dont sell them i just watch them with my friends who... share my interests
RUBY
that makes it even worse! I think...
JULIET
im actualy going to bjes private screening of his collection tonite and id love for you two to too
i would SO TOTALLY CUM
Director's Commentary: took me a lot of wrangling of that sentance to get all instances of the three ways you can spell "2" in the english language together organically for this deep cut pedo dogwhistle
RUBY
that's... so not going to happen
JULIET
i tink u missed my secret pedo code in tha last post, have to be reel subtel now adays, three 2s in a row stands for "2 is 2 young 2-
Director's Commentery: if you know what 222 is a reference to, kill yourself for being a nonce
RUBY
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW!!!
JULIET
ok see u there bye
Director's Commentary: cocks in the background are the pic dick of snoofalah someone catfished out of him as cag, lol3izer drawing a face on his bellend, pilleater's cock, viralpenguin's boypussy, skrizach's dick and Cody with a cockring and male masturbator toy
ROFLBROTHEL
1 girl 1 cup show for ****calaber
Director's Commentary: the classic rofnaughty smiley, all the pictures are sexual images of her since she's such a thot, some CG porn stevey made, her and OG forum girl "forum star" I think I made, a cumsign vitafin made her, a suicide girls pic m0nde made, a pic of her being fucked by zombies I think I made, another m0nde nude, a real pic of her finding porn DVDs on a trai, another CG porn pic, a collage of all the forum fingering her, another m0nde pic, her making out with caz and an underwear pic she posted on /b/
Thread: UNGENERIC SCOTT PILGRIM VS. THE WORLD PARODY U*L*T*R*A*THREAD - happy birthday desolation <3 <3 <3
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Ruby Calaber Vs. The NEDMinternet hero
- Join Date
- Dec 2011
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- the mysterious land... of scotland
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12-06-2023
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