itt you reveal your darkest secrets

[plusle riot]

maybe i ate so many clams i am giving birth to jellyfish

[Lexi Persimmons]

douche once and a while.

[maks]

who said mine was solid white? it was transparent if you must know

your vaginal secretion has apparently been ethnically cleansed, hooray for you

[plusle riot]

your vaginal secretion has apparently been ethnically cleansed, hooray for you

im serbian, my body did it to itself

[maks]

im serbian, my body did it to itself

that explains what the UN is doing in there

[plusle riot]

THE UN HAS NO BUSINESS THERE. FREE SLOBODAN MILOSEVIC

[maks]

if I had a daughter I would name her slobodon

[plusle riot]

is this a ploy to get me to procreate with you

[maks]

since when do I need a ploy

[plusle riot]

slobondong

[maks]

my system of giving a girl unhealthy amounts of alcohol and feeling her up after she passes out has been working for me for 15 or 16 years why things change now

[plusle riot]

my system of giving a girl unhealthy amounts of alcohol and feeling her up after she passes out has been working for me for 15 or 16 years why things change now

i love it when you talk rapey

i also pee in bottles sometimes when there are people here and i dont want to get dressed when i wake up while sleeping
yeah most of mine involve pee, can you guess what the third one is?

[maks]

I was at the liquor store the other day and this dorky kid in a megadeth t-shirt who I guess worked there was trying to chat up this chick customer, she's like 19 and he's asking if she's been to ozzfest and if she knows that ozzy is the prince of darkness and he was the second prince of darkness and he asked her if she knew what 'no more tears' was about and when she said no he happily informed her that it's about a serial killer who just finished off his latest victim and went into an analysis of the lyrics to support his assessment. she predictably got right the fuck out of there, because there's nothing better to bring up when you're trying to get a date than FUCKING SERIAL KILLERS YOU STUPID BASTARD yes that will make her feel comfortable around you great job asshole

[maks]

i also pee in bottles sometimes when there are people here and i dont want to get dressed when i wake up while sleeping
yeah most of mine involve pee, can you guess what the third one is?

did you ever piss on dr hundos?

[plusle riot]

do you drink your own pee or just enjoy peeing on girls

i fucked a pizza dough ball one time then used it to make a supreme pizza for the buffet at a pizza chain i worked at when i was 16

[plusle riot]

speaking of peeing on girls i watched r. kelly's trapped in the closet for like 6 hours the other night god those drugs mustve been good

#noregrets @yolo

when i was a little kid i had a Beauty an the Beast Bell plastic puppet toy thing and it was basically shaped like a cup and i peed in it one time I took a bath and then drank it and it was gross. I guess from a certain point of view you could say i peed on a girl and then drank my pee. i have a feeling i would take great pleasure in pissing all over a girls tits

whats a jack venookkker

[blumpkin blownuts]

i ate 2 dozen clams tonight. come at me
oh and yesterday i excreted some coagulated pussy mucus. it happens when i'm ovulating, just a big ol' glob came out when i wiped after a piss.

did anyone else j/o to this

[PROFESSIONAL WHITE SUPREMACIST]

one time I really had to pee but this girl wanted to give me a bj right then and I didn't want to leave and have her change her mind so I let her and I accidentally let a squirt of piss go in her face she was like did you just piss on me you fucker and I was like no that was precum you cant piss with a boner there is a valve in my dick

one time my friend pissed off a balcony and didn't look down first and I heard some guy yell out CHING CHAAAAAANG and I went over and looked down and he'd pissed right on some 40 year old chinaman's head he ran up the stairs and chased us down the block and up into a parking garage screaming chingchongs at us the whole time

was he hot?

[PROFESSIONAL WHITE SUPREMACIST]

he looked like the guy in the hat at 6 minutes

why do people freak out so much about being filmed? id just pull my dick out

give everyone what they want to see

[juji]

i killed a scorpion

[Desolation]

wrote at least 20 lines of text for this thread then deleted them all was like wtf is wrong with me. sorry