God told me through feeling "Its alright, love is the answer, but this world is doomed. Come with me now to Heaven, come with me now and leave this world behind" but I told him "No, I want to stay for the time being, the person I love is here, I have to stay for them." They have since left my life, and I can no longer re-gain that same feeling of enlightment. I have become corrupt, my soul is now damned and God's invitation is no longer available to me. I sometimes think that this is my own reality, invented by my subconscious -- my own personal hell or purgatory for me to reside in for all eternity