I'm sorry

[Dirty Beatle]

for whatever

I'll go again for 5 mins.

[Dirty Beatle]

I have borderline personality disorder, I can deal with that

But I'n scared of the dissociative disorder because it can happen randomly and then I literally have no idea what I'm doing or why and it really bothers me to do stuff that I have no idea why I did it. I'm still trying to deal with the last time when I threw all my cloths and linen outside and packed bags with weird stuff in them, one bag had books, tampons, loose cigarettes and a can of beans and all kinds of random weird stuff, I found one in the boot of my car, was I planning in going somewhere? I ruined half my cloths because it took me weeks to gather everything back up and wash it and by that time some of them had rotten through from being left in the grass and mud. It really bothers me, the more I stress about it the worse it is but the worst thing is knowing that when I have such an episode I have no idea I'm having it, I have no idea what is going through my head, last time I ended up climbing over massive barbed wire fences in the middle of the night and standing in a car repair shop under a security light with my oversized pants around my ankles and that was literally the most lucid moment I had at the time because I actually remember what I was thinking before I came to, I was trying to follow the light and I thought if I followed lights enough I would arrive somewhere where I could leave this life, instead all I was doing was randomly seeing lights on in the middle of night and climbing over fences to get to them, I still have a scar on my leg from the barbed wire. I don't know if that was a dissociative disorder episode or sleepwalking but it happened around the time where I did all that other weird stuff I still have no idea why I did and I'm still dealing with not being able to find things because I moved and hid everything, there is so many reasons why this bothers me but then I get scared that if I worry about it too much I'll have another episode. Hopefully these are brain aneurysms or something and it will burst and I'll just drift off in a painless clueless state of no mind and never have to worry about shit that when I think about it really doesn't matter. Do you have any idea how fucked up people are? There is some fucking terrible shit going on out there, this shit only affects me so it doesn't matter. I used to want to help people you know, I used to think there was a point.

[steveyos YOLO]

Sounds like you need locked in a cage for your own protection

[sad rats fuck]

why did it take you weeks to pick your clothes up

[sad rats fuck]

locked in a cag

[steveyos666]

lonnie

[steveyos YOLO]

That better not be lonnie

[steveyos666]

agreed I'll be pissed

[Dirty Beatle]

why did it take you weeks to pick your clothes up

Because it was raining a lot, can only do one load of washing and during at a time

Idiots

I don't have 10 washing machines in fact right now I don't have a washing machine at all as I tried after doing that many loads of washing.

New one gets here on wednseday

[Dirty Beatle]

Sounds like you need locked in a cage for your own protection

Sometimes I guess if I have more episodes, I try to lock myself up anyway, I must have escaped.

personality disorders are just excuse people made up for their weak emotional control. get yur head out of your ass and quit feeling sorry for yourself

[Dirty Beatle]

personality disorders are just excuse people made up for their weak emotional control. get yur head out of your ass and quit feeling sorry for yourself

There are actual physical differences in the brain

And dissociative disorder is not a personality disorder or something to snort at you dumb fuck, you have no idea how fucking frightening it is.

I said I can deal with the borderline, I have my whole life and used to be more productive than you in spite of it.

But I wasn't talking about that now was I?

Idiot.

[sad rats fuck]

Because it was raining a lot, can only do one load of washing and during at a time

Idiots

I don't have 10 washing machines in fact right now I don't have a washing machine at all as I tried after doing that many loads of washing.

New one gets here on wednseday

it stil doesn't make sense for clothes to still be wet for weeks unless you tied them up in bags so that they couldn't dry out

[steveyos YOLO]

I bet they smell pretty bad

probably likemildew

depressed people are too lazy to do their own clothes theyre too busy thining about themselves and looking at them selves all sad in the mirror boo hoo

[Dirty Beatle]

it stil doesn't make sense for clothes to still be wet for weeks unless you tied them up in bags so that they couldn't dry out

It is winter here, it rains all the time

Doesn't make sense otherwise, not too bright are you? It's basic maths, 30 loads of washing to do and dry, one washing machine and one cloth horse to dry small cloths inside with.

Go figure.

Moron.

[sad rats fuck]

how much of the taxpayers money did you spend on your new washing machine

[sad rats fuck]

30 washing machine loads, maybe you have too many clothes

[Dirty Beatle]

I bet they smell pretty bad

They did, so bad that I spewed. I washed them all with hot water and nappy sanitizer first, then gave them a second was and overnight soak again with nappy sanitizer and washing powder. A lot of them were ruined though, rotted right through.

didnt know they had goodwills on penguin island

[Dirty Beatle]

how much of the taxpayers money did you spend on your new washing machine

I know I've paid more tax than you in my life.

[sad rats fuck]

i don't believe your clothes rotted through that quickly

bail isnt tax lisa

[Dirty Beatle]

depressed people are too lazy to do their own clothes theyre too busy thining about themselves and looking at them selves all sad in the mirror boo hoo

I do my own cloths and I don't like looking in the mirror

I was talking about how scary the dissociative disorder is. There is something going on in my brain that is scary.

[steveyos YOLO]

I bet the sheets rooty spewed on were pretty gross smelling

[Dirty Beatle]

bail isnt tax lisa

What? Lol

I worked for 20 years.

I used to be a teacher remember?

[steveyos YOLO]

Stab your face off so you won't know who you are when looking in the mirror anymore

[sad rats fuck]

I was talking about how scary the dissociative disorder is. There is something going on in my brain that is scary.

you ruined your clothes and pulled your pants down in front of a security camera for attention

[Dirty Beatle]

I bet the sheets rooty spewed on were pretty gross smelling

He didn't spew in anything

But they grew all kinds of funky moulds from being in the grass, dirt and rain

Some of my cushions actually grew grass on them