I get my bum fingered for weed

You can't. You are not an EU resident or a resident of one of their member nation's colonies.

if thats the case OB then why do services like mylife do such a lucrative business cleaning up shit about people?

[Obnoxious Bitch]

if thats the case OB then why do services like mylife do such a lucrative business cleaning up shit about people?

Mylife is a rather large information broker in their own right. It's not that hard. Strategies such as meta-tagging to raise the first few pages of hits to positive links and threatening libel lawsuits from a well financed organization against media that won't willingly take it down is often effective.

The EU ruling against Google only applies to the EU. Even the links taken down in Europe are still up on Google's American search engine.