generic ruby literally all of Game of Thrones review thread - edgy, I like it special edition

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Game of Thrones 8x01: "Winterfell"
The Manlet King special edition
First aired: April 14, 2019

alright lets do this shit final season lets go boiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii



this episode opens with literally like a fan compilation from youtube or some shit and then the Previously on Game of Thrones segment as a crash course for all the normies who are only watching now after ignoring this for 9 years since they don't have the autism required like I do to watch all this dumb shit just to be in the know for the final season and we get the story with the Night King summed up and see him smashing through the wall and then fade to black and finally get the HBO logo and then the final opening credits that I assume has hanged throughout to show each new location and yeah this seasons one has the gap in the wall leading to uh some castle and then Winterfell I guess if I paid attention to this shit before I'd have realized the holy white tree was within the Winterfell compound and just so you know where everything is we see the great hall and crypt of Winterfell and then Kingslanding in this weird like pop-up book table top game animation thing with the ballista and the dragon skull and the throne room and finally get the title card and the first actual content we finally get 4 minutes in is some little boy running through the frozen forest as fast as he can to get to Winterfell and runs through the crowd and he sees soldiers marching behind it and we can see they're Unsullied and we see Arya giving a smirk as she remembers the wonder o a child seeing shit like this for the first time and the shota climbs up a tree like Bran would have done at that age to get a good look and he looks in amazement as the Unsullied army march through his town to the castle



and he looks behind to see all 8K Unsullied marching in formation... and Dany in her white winter coat and Jon in his ratty wolf skin cloak riding side by side now partners and Arya gasps in joy as she sees her brother, or more like uhhh... cousin? for the first time in 8 fucking years and she also sees... The Hound riding along, who she scowls at not sure what to make of him, but then smiles when she sees Gendry is alive and with them, and we see Tyrion talking to Varys in a cart and he gives us the first line of the season "you should consider yourself lucky, at least your balls wont freeze off" and Varys teases "you take great offence at dwarf jokes but tell eunuch jokes, why is that?" and Tyrion smirks knowing this might be the last time he gets to banter with his friend and says "because I have balls and you don't" and Varys just gives him a condescending look like he secretly appreciates it too and then we see Missy and Grey Worm riding into town and they see... the sea of white faces all staring at them not knowing what to make of the first black people they've ever seen FUCKING FORCED DIVERSITY THE SJWS ARE RUINING WINTERFELL



but they're also staring at Dany who also looks odd but Jon says "I warned you, Northerners don't much trust outsiders" so maybe that's the issue and not racism/Dany being an extremely overdesigned player character, and Dany gives a pondering look to the crowd like if they don't like me what are they gonna make of these as THE CROWD HEAR ROARING AND LOOK UP TO SEE DROGON AND HIS BROTHER FLYING IN AND A MAN SCREAMS "GODS PROTECT US!"



AND DANY SMILES AS THEY ALL SCREAM AND GET SCARED AS DROGON DOES A FLYBY OVER THE CROWD TO JOIN HIS BROTHER OVER WINTERFELL CASTLE but Arya just smiles as this is the coolest shit ever and as they fly over Winterfell Sansa looks up relieved that they have some real fucking big guns now



then inside the castle itself Bran is sitting there and looks relieved just a little to see Jon even though he knew he was coming he probably still misses things and Jon looks overjoyed and rushes to kiss him on the forehead and tells him "look at you! you're a man!" but Bran just says "almost" blankly, maybe a reference to how he cant have sex anymore or he knows he's going to have to do something to be considered a man soon, and Jon looks concerned as he realizes how much his little bro has changed but Sansa just smirks as she knows it's ok and when Jon sees her he rushes over and Bran gives Dany and Jorah an odd look and they give him an odd look back and Jon hugs his sister and asks where Arya is as I guess he got letters about it and she says "lurking about somewhere" lul and then Dany comes forward for Jon to introduce her to Sansa, not with the insane titledrop memes thankfully, as Lady Mormont and Lord Glover look on suspiciously and Dany says some sucking up shit about how this place and her is as beautiful as her brother said and Sansa just forces herself to say "Winterfell is yours, Your Grace" and Dany looks immediately annoyed at her for being anything but enchanted by her and having any hesitation about handing over her ancestors home to a new powerful monarch and Bran interjects saying "we don't have time for all this, the Night King has your dragon, he's one of them now, The Wall has fallen, the dead march South" and everyone looks super shook at each other, but in a moment of editing that looking back becomes a big thing in this episode, we just cut away from someone delivering important information so we don't find out how anyone reacts to it and it seems like no one gives a shit lol



then in the great hall Sansa is explaining as soon as they heard about The Wall falling she called all their bannermen to Winterfell and calls Lord Umber, who's like fucking 10, and asks when his men arrive, and he asks for more wagons "if it pleases my lady..... and my lord?" as he realizes Jon is there and isn't sure if he's the boss now or too or wtf is going on here and then he realizes to add "and... my Queen? ...sorry" as he remembers Dany is there and everyone seems to be defering to her and this poor little boy is just trying to do his best to protect his people but he's in an extremely convoluted decade long fantasy plot lmao and Sansa allots him as much as they can spare and Jon says to send ravens to call Night's Watch as there's no point manning The Wall now and the maester goes to do that



and Lady Mormont comes forward and calls him out for no longer being a King and mocks him "I'm not sure what you are now? a Lord? nothing at all? we named you King in the North!" and the whole room supports her and Jon tries to explain what an honor it was but they need allies or they die and Dany and Sansa share a suspicious bitchy look as Jon says "I had a choice, my crown or protecting the North, I chose the North" and everyone argues amongst themselves if he did the right thing or not and Tyrion sees Jon can't be doing with this politics horseshit any longer so stands up and tells them Jon Snow risked his life to prove the threat is real and now has them the greatest army the world has ever seen, two full-grown dragons... and even the Lannister army, but before he even finishes it he knows that wont help but he has to tell them and everyone argues even more lmao and he tries to explain they have to even be allies with his fucked up family they all hate or they'll die and then Sansa asks how tf they are feeding Dothraki, Unsullied and two dragons asking sassily "what do dragons eat anyway?" and Dany quips "whatever they want" and gives her the death glare lmao ooooooooh bitchyyyyyyy what a dumb thing to set up that's obviously going to resolve in them learning to respect their fellow empowered woman, as if either would care about being bitchy rivals having a little pissing contest when they are all about to die



and as if to answer Dany's point we hear a horse snorting and neighing as they are being overpowered to bring in coal on carts from outside and we see Gendry catching some spilling off and telling the men they need all of it and telling them to get it in the forges as he needs to make more weapons and overlooking this Tyrion walks up to finds his ex... still his wife? and does the "leave us" meme to Lord Glover so he can talk to Sansa and sweet talks her for being Lady and she compliments him back for being Hand but throws shade at Dany and he remembers the last time they saw each other but Sansa jokes "it had its moments" and Tyrion throws shade at her for leaving and leaving him in such hot water but Sansa points out they both survived and Tyrion compliments her "a lot of people underestimated you... most of them are dead now" and they discuss the Lannister army coming up North but Sansa calls him out that they are obviously not coming and Cersei was just lying lmao and Tyrion claims she has something to live for now but Sansa looks down at her husband and says "I used to think you were the cleverest man alive..." and walks off since she can see his own sister clearer than he can since he's so emotionally bias and Tyrion looks down to see Bran in his chair looking up at him

then by the holy white tree Jon is staring at the creepy blood crying face and Arya suddenly apears behind him saying "you used to be taller" LMAO ANOTHER JON IS A MANLET JOKE and he asks "how'd you sneak up on me?" and squints his eyes like the gormless idiot he is amazed at how big his sister is and she just fires back "how'd you survive a knife through the heart?" pointing out they've both been through some weird shit and he just says "I didn't" I guess no one told Arya how he got brought back to life? you'd think she'd be interested due to the whole God of Death shit but she drops the stoic killer act and grins and rushes to hug him and he kneels down to grab her and grimaces trying not to cry and he sees she still has Needle and she lets him hold it and he asks "you ever use it?" and she says seriously "once or twice" as she remembers all her not so glorious kill and Jon knows just how to reconnect with her and shows her Longclaw and she realizes "Valaryan steel" and he teases "jealous?" like only a big sibling does with their little sibling but she says "too heavy for me" and offers it back with a proud smile her brother's become a badass too and he puts his hand on her shoulder and says he could have used her help with Sansa as they're both more practically minded people than Sansa who's more attuned to the social dynamics going on which I enjoy isn't written to be a bad thing like oh the dumb feminine girl is not wise like her masculine brother and tomboy sister since Sansa can manage the political dynamics far better than Jon, can predict Cersei's behaviour more accurately than her own brother and can even dab on CIA when working together with her violent little sister, unironically a well written strong female character, hopefully Dany's Mary Sue doesn't rub off on her and Arya has noticed "she doesn't like your Queen does she?" and Jon smiles "Sansa thinks she's smarter than everyone!" having only just met his sister first the first time since she was like 12 but Arya tells him "Sansa is the smartest person I've ever met" and Jon chuckles "now you're defending her? you? lol" and Arya smiles "I'm defending our family, and so is she" and Jon understands what she's saying, to trust her sister, and says "I'm her family too" and Arya hugs her big brother, one of her childhood heroes, and tells him "don't forget that" actually a well written scene bravo



then in KL we see Cersei looking out to see looking smug that she just fucked over Dany who's probably going to get herself killed waiting for her help that's never coming and if her whole army fails who gives a shit they're all dead anyway surrounded by her Kingsguard and a certain big fuck off bastard one when Qyburn, her Hand, comes up to tell her "the dead have broken through The Wall" and she just smirks and says "good" and even Qyburn looks around concerned like wtf this bitch crazy and he looks out to see Euron's fleet in the sea



and we see him on his boat smirking with a new right hand man in fancy armor and he goes inside to see Yara tied to a post and she asks "why don't you just kill me and get it over with?" and he says "ah because we're family, the last Greyjoys left in the world" and sits down beside her to drink wine and adds "the last ones with balls anyway! if I kill you... who can I talk to? hmm? I've got a crew full of mutes... heh... it gets lonely at sea" oh yeah he cut all his men's tongues out lmao I guess so they can't snitch on him or even talk back or some edgy shit I thought that was just a joke or something but ok that's gonna be the first EDGY, I LIKE IT COUNT: 138 of the season from me dawg and Yara deduces they're in KL and he offers her wine almost as a reward but she warns "you picked the losing side" and he just shrugs and says "then I'll sail the Iron Fleet somewhere else..." and get right up into her face suddenly looking wide-eyed and tells his niece "but first I'm gonna fuck the queen!" and walks off as she sits there fuming, oh yeah since him claiming to just run and hide was a le ebin ruse right?



then in the Iron Throneroom Cersei is asking "20K men is it?" and Euron's right hand man, or I guess, I recognize that armor... the new chief of the Kingsguard or maybe City Guard now that Jaime fucked off? well he says yes but a few died in transit and Euron shrugs saying "they cheated at dice! or maybe I cheated.... someone cheated... they weren't good fighters you won't miss them" explaining he killed his own men lmao, wait Cersei asks "horses?" and the man says "two thousand" and I get the picture when she asks "elephants?" and he goes "uh no elephants Your Grace" so we won't be getting some 300 shit I guess this is the leader of the Golden Company she's hired with her loan from (((The Iron Bank))) that Euron was ferrying back and even killed some of his men lmao and Cersei tries to contain her rage barely able to keep her from grimacing and says "that's... disappointing, I was expecting elephants" as if she's some spoiled little girl who feels entitled to her every whim and is going full despot where they really do order really bizarre shit like people to bring them elephants because when a dictator gets ultimate power they get in the habit of being used to just whatever they want being done for them which you can see in people who are just very rich since all their life they can just say oh I want that and some servant does it for them which you can see a lot in Trump lmao since he's both been rich all his life and now has extreme political power so just does the most bizarre shit not realizing it's not normal or good optics to demand to watch nothing but gorilla documentaries all day or start throwing paper towels at hurricane victims or whatever weird behaviour lmao and Harry the subtitles say explains they're not suited for long sea voyages and Cersei controls herself and tells him he's welcome to KL and he bows saying he looks forward to fighting for her and walks off and Euron starts pushing if he's welcome too and Cersei has to suck it up and call him a true friend to the crown and he pushes his luck walking up to her but The Mountain steps forward to keep him at bay and he whispers "I was hoping to speak in private?" but Cersei says after the war and he reminds her wars last years and Cersei tells him "you want a whore? buy one, you want a Queen... earn her" which I have seen the biggest whores online quote pretending it represents them lmaoooo and Euron starts bitching that he's given her justice, an army and the Iron Fleet "yet she gives me no sigh of affection... my heart is nearly broken!" and Cersei turns away cringing at how much this man makes her skin crawl and she turns back to say "you're insolent... I've executed men for less" and Euron instantly says "they were lesser men" and Cersei stares at him like she wants to kill him so fucking bad but Qyburn gives a concerned look so she controls herself and storms off but then she realizes... she really does need him and this is the kind of guy to not give a shit and fuck off to the other side of the planet, so she looks back unable to stop her sad grimace but Euron is used to that look lmao and gets a huge grin as he realizes she's inviting him to a ummm private discussion and bounds up the steps slipping past The Mountain giving him a big grin as he maddogs him through his rotten eyelids and heavy helmet, >tfw your waifu is a massive whore



then with Bronn whenever he iswith a cag who the subtitles say is Dirah she is saying "I hear the dragon burnt up a thousand Lannister men" and he looks over to see Craya saying "burnt up some of my favorite boys" and he rolls his eyes as the three cags he's hired, a blonde a redhead and a brunette, are gossiping about how some soldiers called Archie and William got nuked and Bronn cant believe they're talking about other clients on his dime and reminds them "I am the only man you ever met who shot a dragon" but they don't believe it and all undress and jump on top of him and one immediately starts riding his dick but the other two start up again gossiping about a ginger lad who came back with his eyelids burnt off and the other girl asks confused "how does he sleep with no eyelids?" in a dark room I guess lmao (I just learned from a clickbait artcle that this character they're talking about, Eddie, is actually ED SHIRANS CHARACTER HAHAAHAHAHA I also read that he had to delete his twitter account he got so bullied after his apperance oh ho ho hoahahahahaha) and Bronn sighs "all right can we stop talking about the fucking dragons now?" trying to hide how disturbed he was by it



when suddenly QYBURN APPEARS IN THE ROOM and Bronn is like "you're fucking kidding me" as if he can't even get a nut off in this insane world but he says the queen wants him so Bronn knows that's the real shit you cant turn down so says sorry to the girls and gets dressed and as one leaves she shows she's quite the little buisnesswoman and tries to get work from Qyburn teasing "if you are ever lonely I am partial to older gentlemen" and skipping off but Qyburn just looks after them and says "poor girl, the pox will take her within the year" and Bronn splutters on his wine and asks "which girl?" not wanting to get infected too lmaoooooooooo but Qyburn ignores him and tells him Cersei will fulfil her brothers promises to him but he doesn't trust her after losing his last castle and wife but Qyburn blames it on Jaime saying the Queen's got wagons of gold for him and Bronn realizes he's being paid off for an assassination mission and refuses if it's Dany but Qyburn says "she has other plans for the Targaryen girl" oh I bet, a lot of rape I assume, and Qyburn tells him "her brothers are unlikely to survivre their Northern adventures but in the unlikely event that they do... she has a keen sense of poetic justice" as he has a guard bring in JOFFREY'S OLD ORNAMENTAL CROSSBOW TYRION USED TO KILL TYWIN AFTER JAIME FREED HIM that she wants him to pop his old employers with and Bronns jaw drops as he gasps "that fucking family!" and Qyburn explains he thought his life was over but Cersei rewarded his service well and tempts him with riches if he completes his mission so he takes the crossbow and he gives him a little nod as Bronn stands there in shock



then with Cersei and Euron... after sex... she's still bitching about the elephants (while sipping wine despite being pregnant already you fucking thot) but he starts meming immediately "so how do I compare to the fat king?" and Cersei doesn't care but knows what he'll say next and asks half heartedly "you're insulting my late husband?" and he whispers "are you offended?" as she sits there waiting for him to say some shit about her brother as she explains "Robert had a different whore every night but he still didn't know his way around a woman's body" and Euron dares to ask "and the Kingslayer?" and stares her down and Cersei realizes "you enjoy risking your neck don't you?" and Euron admits "life is boring" as he's a twisted fucking psychopath with impulse control issues who needs constant excitement as she doesn't actually value anything even his own life and Cersei tells him "you're not boring, I'll give you that" lis and Euron grins at the compliment and stalks up to her sitting drinking wine of course and stares down and asks "do I please the Queen?" and Cersei notes "you might be the most arrogant man I've ever met... I like that" convincingly sucking up to this man who's navy she needs but she asks "and now I'd like to be alone" but Euron starts creepily rubbing her belly as if he can tell shes pregnant and she looks disgusted and scared he knows but he says "hhhhehhhhh I'm gonna put a prince in your belly" since le benis in bagina was a big deal back then and could determine the fate of Houses and Cersei sits there trying to keep a brave face but breaks down in tears at how disgusted she is



then on Euron's ship we hear some thwap thwap noises and cut to A BUNCH OF SAILORS GETTING DROPPED BY ARROWS AS A TEAM OF BOWMEN MAKE THEIR WAY ONTO THE SHIP, WE ZERO DARK THIRTY NOW BOI



and Yara hears a slash and a thud and looks up to see a guard fall dead through the door followed by THEON!!! yeah boiiiiiiiii and he rusehs over to unty her and YARA HEADBUTTS HER BROTHER LMAOOO



and Theon's like wtf is wrong with my life lmao but Yara offers her hand and pulls him up and he steels himself trying not to cry from joy his sister accepts him back, then later Yara is saying "Euron can't defend the Iron Islands, not if he's in King's Landing with all his men and his ships, we can take our home back" reasoning that Dany needs a secondary stronghold the Dead can't reach and Theon looks unhappy about that probably as everyone hates him there but says he's loyal to her and she realizes what the issue is that he wants to fight for the Starks at Winterfell and he looks torn between his two Houses again but Yara just says "go... what is dead may never die" which takes on new meaning to Theon since he's already been through hell and he says the meme back but she adds "but kill the bastards anyway" since now their meme has an even newer meaning since they're literally fighting the dead and they hug each other and just hold each other for a while knowing they might not see each other again



then in Winterfell I assume the Umbers are turning up at the castle surrounded by refugee tents and Lord Glover is inviting ah yes Lady Karstark and the three advisers Tyrion, Varys and Davos are watching them come in and Varys says they have one of the best sigils, just a sun, and Tyrion quips "beats an onion anyway" but he admits "can't argue with that" and points out how Jon brought peace between the two houses but they don't know Dany and neither do the Free Folk and are going to side with Jon over her warning Dany has to earn their loyalty and then they walk up on the men rushing to shovel coal



and Davos proposes that if they survive the Night King "what if for once in the Seven Kingdom's shit history they were ruled by a just woman and an honerable man?" as they look down on Jon and Dany being cute together in their camp and Tyrion admits "they do make a hansom couple" but Varys warns "Jon and Danaerys don't want to listen to lonely old men" and Tyrion insecurely says he's not as old as Davos but Varys says youngsters like them who are still in their 20s want to keep men like them at a distance since they remind them "nothing lasts" and looks down sad that all these people are probably gonna die



and in the camp Dany lets Jon know "your sister doesn't like me" and he assures her Sansa didn't like him growing up either lmao but Dany says she needs to respect her as a Queen and is about to say some edgy shit threatening her but then Dothraki ride up to tell their Queen the dragons have eaten 18 goats 11 sheep but Dany says "the dragons are barely eating" and they go out into the countryside to find a very lethargic Drogon and his brother sitting there near some burnt bones and their mother explains "they don't like the North" and Jon looks confused and then scared as the smaller one takes a sniff at him real fucking close as it never got a good look like Dorogon has but Dany climbs up on him and offers Jon "go on" and he looks around shook saying "I don't know how to ride a dragon... what if he doesn't want me to?" and Dany smiles "then I've enjoyed your company Jon Snow" so Jon just sighs and climbs up on Rhaegal's back who's feeling too worn down from the cold to put up much of a fight but as he stands up Jon struggles even to keep ontop and he yells "what do I hold onto?" and Dany smiles "whatever you can"



RHAEGAL TAKES FLIGHT AND JON BRICKS IT AND GRASPS ONTO HIS SPINE AS DANY GRINS AND TAKES DROGON OFF AFTER HIM AND EVERYONE IN WINTERFELL DROPS WHAT THEY'RE DOING TO WATCH THEIR KING AND QUEEN FLY DRAGONS OVER AND VARYS, TYRION AND DAVOS JAWS DROP AS THEY SEE JON IS DRAGON RIDING TOO



AND DANY LOOKS BACK WITH A SMILE AS SHE SWOOPS DROGON DOWN OVER THE SNOWY TREETOPS KNOWING HIS BROTHER WILL FOLLOW HIM DOWN AND JON BRICKS IT AS HIS DRAGON TAKES HIM DIVING DOWN OFF THE SIDE OF A CLIFF UNTIL IT CATCHES THE UPDRAFT AND SWOOPS UP JUST BEFORE HITTING THE GROUND TO CATCH UP TO HIS BROTHER AND FOLLOW HIM THROUGH A CANYON AND DANY GIVES JON A WACKY LOOK AS RHAEGAL GOES DOWN TO LAND, [COLOR="Golden Rod"]WTF HOW TO TRAIN YOUR DRAGON 4 LOOKS REALLY DIFFERENT[/COLOR]



and on the ground with the two dragons huddling their wings up beside each other as they don't like the cold awwww Jon is telling Dany "you've completely ruined horses for me!" which gets a laugh out of her and she looks up at the beauty of the waterfall up there and she offers "we could stay up here a thousand years, no one would ever find us" but Jon reminds her "we'd be pretty old... it's cold up here for a southern girl" so Dany tells her nephew "so keep your Queen warm" and they start making out but then they hear thumping and look up to see Drogon standing up and glaring at his new step-father as if to say don't you go breaking me mums heart now mate being protective of Dany but she assures him "don't be afraid" and smiles as Jon tries to not bottle it and starts making out again but he can't help but glance over his shoulder as Drogon stares at them the entire time making sure he's not going to hurt her, I like how the Dragons are written where they're animals who are territorial and protective of who they think are their own but they don't just act like cute dogs like some fictional animals do they're still lizards and have no problem killing anything they don't consider one of them so they seem super scary



then with Gendry rushing to make, ah it wasn't coal he was bringing in, it was Dragonglass, and he's making spearheads out of it, when he gets called away, bringing an axe he made out of it for The Hound and he tries to brag about his skills but The Hound cuts him off saying "you know who makes weapons for the Wildlings? cripples and cocksuckers, which one are you?" lmaoooo which is a common thing in nomadic tribal societies, gay men who might not be inclined to go hunt or battle have auxillary jobs like that, sometimes being considered a third gender which dumbass SJWs think shows how progressive the noble savages are when in reality it's just that they literally think there is something wrong with them and they can't be real men and figure the Gods must have made a mistake and given them a woman's soul too so it's literally from a belief that there's something wrong with gay people yet liberal retards try to add it to the ever extending LGBT acronym lmao, anyway Arya turns up and tells him to leave him be and they're both shocked and amazed to see her and The Hound growls "I heard you were here... you left me to die..." and Arya reminds him "first I robbed you" and he storms up to her and they both maddog each other and The Hound grumbles "you're a cold little bitch aren't you?" and Arya glares at him and he just shrugs and gives a wee smile saying "guess that's why you're still alive" and walks off and she looks back impressed at how evolved as a person he's become, and almost looks concerned like if a complete badman like him can let go of anger then should an 18 year old girl really be dedicating her life to it, and then she awkwardly tells Gendry his axe was nice and he awkwardly says she looks good and looks around nervously and goes back to work as they chat and he jokes that she's Lady Stark now which she doesn't like but cant help but smile at his goofy jokes and she hands him a diagram she drew of some sort of spear with a detachable head and he asks what it's for but she wont tell and then shows off the Valyrian steel dagger she has and he teases her for being a rich girl and she teases him back saying he wouldn't know and leaves with a smirk



then we see Sansa reading a message when Jon comes to visit her and she breaks him the bad news that Lord Glover has left with his men and Jon quotes him swearing to stand by them but Sansa reminds he said he'd stand behind Jon and it's his fault for giving up the crown he had for like one day and Jon defends they have two armies and two dragons because of him and they cant beat an army of zombies without Dany as Sansa tries to get sassy at him about her but he sighs from raising his voice and gets all insecure she doesn't have faith in him but she assures he does and he promises her Dany is not her father and will be a good Queen and Sansa just jokes shes prettier than her father but then asks seriously if he bent the knee for the North or love and Jon swallows not sure himself

then with Dany and Jorah in the castles library they come across.. Sam! who shits his pants when Dany coughs to rouse him from his research and he fumbles over his words as Dany compliment him for saving Jorah and warmly but also in that concerning smug manner as she is already thinking she has ultimate power tells him she'll make changes to improve the Citadel hinting that he'll be the new archmaester maybe but what Sam asks for is a pardon... for stealing the books lmao, and Dany just grins at the smirking Jorah, but then Sam adds he also stole a sword from his family... House Tarly... and Dany's face freezes as she realizes "not Randyll Tarly?" and Sam asks "you know him?" and Jorah's face drops as he realizes they immolated his fucking father and brother and Dany immediately justifies "I offered to let him retain his lands and titles if he bent the knee... he refused" and Sam looks at Jorah confused and can tell from his expression what happened and he starts tearing up and struggles not to cry and tries to joke "a-at least I'll be allowed home again now that my brother's the lord" but Dany looks super sad at him and awkwardly says "your brother stood with your father" and Sam stands there breathing heavily as if someone just told him his favorite anime was just cancelled trying to hold it together but breaks down crying and forces himself to say "th-thank you Your Grace f-for telling me m-muh-may I-" and she excuses him and he rushes off crying that his new Queen he threw his career away for has murdered his family lmao and he rushes outside sniffling and storms off in anger almost getting hit by a horse and cart rushing by in ye olde traffic accident and he sees Bran, the nicest person there despite being some unemotional demi-god, and asks him what he's doing and Bran says cryptically "waiting for an old friend, it's time to tell Jon the old truth" but Sam tells him it's his brotherly duty but Bran reminds him they're not bothers and he trusts Sam the most



so we cut to Jon in the crypt lighting a candle for Ned's statue when he hears Sam falling down the stairs into the dark crypt lmao and he apologizes for being in his family's sacred place but Jon just hugs him and asks if he was hiding from him or was reading every book in the Citadel but he can tell his old friend is upset about something and worries if it's Gilly and the baby but what Sam has to say is... if he knew Dany executed his father and brother (kind of odd he cares so much since his father was so awful to him but I guess Sam's the kind of softhearted guy to still care about his family even after that) and from Jon's baffled expression he can tell he didn't, and Jon can't even justify it and just says "I'm so sorry" but then adds "we need to end this war" and Sam demands to know "would you have done it" and Jon reminds him he's executed rivals before but Sam reminds him he spared thousands of Wildlings but Jon reminds him "I wasn't a king" and Sam tells him "but you were, you always have been" but Jon storms off insisting he gave up his crown and Sam snaps "I'm not talking about the King of the North I'm talking about the King of the bloody Seven Kingdoms!" and Jon looks super confused as if he's just saying he should be King or something but Sam explains he and Bran figured out that... "YOUR MOTHER... WAS LYANNA STARK... AND YOUR FATHER... YOUR REAL FATHER... WAS RHAEGAR TARGARYEN... YOU'VE NEVER BEEN A BASTARD... YOU'RE AEGON TARGARYEN, TRUE HEIR TO THE IRON THRONE" and Jon stands there gawking like a fucking dullard and then storms up to Sam staring at him making sure this is for real and not a mistake but when he sees how sure he is he insists "my father was the most honerable man I ever met... you're saying he lied to me all my life?" and Sam assures him Ned was protecting him from Robert since he's "Aegon Targaryen, sixth of his name, true heir to the Iron Throne... all of it" as he can't even figure out Jon's official titles and he stumbles back unable to comprehend it and he starts breathing heavily as he realizes they're basically doing treason to Dany right now or the other way around or whatever the fuck but Sam points out he gave up his crown for his people and asks if Dany would to the same uh ooooh dramaaaa



then in the extremely dark remains of... some castle? we see... TORMUND AND BERIC ARE STILL ALIVE and they're coming in with the survivors from Eastwatch with swords drawn and they see the place is trashed and there's piles of blood on the floor... but no bodies... and they tentatively see a dark room and Tormund nods to Beric it's his time to shine, literally, and he heads in first and Tormund bigs himself up to face more of his worst nightmares and Beric holds off on triggering his ultimate I guess to be stealthy as they make their way through the insides of this castle that belongs to some House with a sigil that looks like two wrenches when suddenly they hear a banging noise and all the men brick it and take cover and they hear some steps coming so TORMUND HOLLARS A BATTLECRY AND TORMUND TRIGGERS HIS ULTIMATE FLAMESWORD BUT IT'S... EDD AND THE CASTLE BLACK LADS! and Edd yells back to his boys "stay back he's got blue eyes!!!"



and Tormund can't fucking believe these idoiots and growls at him "I've always had blue eyes!" hahahaha



and then Edd realizes oh yeah these things don't talk and does a bro-hug to Tormund and sighs in relief and Beric asks "did you find anyone?" and Edd looks worried as he talks them deeper into the castle with Beric lighting the way with his flaming sword, I guess this is maybe the Glover family? no... Beric puts up his sword to illuminate... "THE UMBER BOY" DEAD, STAKED TO THE WALL, SURROUNDED BY A SWIRL OF THE SEVERED LIMBS OF HIS PEOPLE NAILED UP AROUND HIM EDGY, I LIKE IT COUNT: 139 which I guess hints at at least some of the White Walkers used to be human since they understand things like scare tactics and psychological warfare if they do shit like this and it's not for some magic ritual or some shit



oh yeah that's the stuff and Beric warns "it's a message, from the Night King" and Tormund grumbles "his army is between us and Winterfell... we're on foot" and Edd says they can double up on their horses and Tormund says they could make it before the Night King gets to wiTHE LITTLE BOY REANIMATES AND GOES REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE AT TORMUND



SO BERIC PLUNGES HIS FLAMING SWORD INTO THE ZOMBIE BOYS CHEST SETTING HIS UNDEAD BODY ON FIRE AND HE WRITHES AROUND SCREECHING LIKE A DYING CAT



AS THE MEN WATCH IN HORROR AS THE FLAMES SET ALIGHT THE SPIRAL OF HUMAN LIMBS SURROUNDING THE BOY JESUS CHRIST



then in Winterfell we see a man in a hood arriving on horseback... and to everyone around him he's just another refugee... but he gets off to reveal... IT'S JAIME and he looks around amazed how much has changed the last time he was there but then he sees an odd young man in a wheelchair smiling at him and JAIME'S FACE DROPS AS HE REALIZES IT'S BRAN... THE LITTLE BOY HE CRIPPLED 8 YEARS AGO who just stares at him and then... the credits roll? there's like 11 minutes left in my video idk wtf is going on let me skip through this shit, wtf there's like a trailer for the next episode? ok skipping that shit, ok then there's like interviews with DnD explaining the very obvious themes of the episode... right... nice uh DVD extra, then there's some trailer for another show or something of kids running around in the snow and some people seeing glowing in the distance as a voice over talks about Chernobyl, oh I guess it's some tv drama about the Chernobyl disaster, that actually seems interesting, but I ain't got time for watching other shows lmao, anyway thanks for adding 11 minutes of random shit to the end of my torrent that saves me from reviewing 11 minutes of this show, onto the next ep





Game of Thrones 8x02: "A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms"
The Last Incel special edition
First aired: April 21, 2019

ok after 2 minute long opening animation and Jaime is standing before the whole big crazy court of Jon, Dany and Sansa and Dany's advisers of Jorah, Missy, Varys and Tyrion and Jon's advisers Davos, Lady Mormont, Lord Glover, Lady Karstark and Brie and Dany tells him when she was little her brother would tell her the lovely bed time story of the man who stabbed their father in the back and how one day they'd get their horrible revenge as if he didn't deserve it you dumb thot and also as if she wouldn't have a bit of a more recent beef with Jaime such as, you know, him fucking charging at her with a lance to kill her last time they saw each other lmao, but I think the writers forgot that, and Jaime just stands there trying not to smile as he's heard it aaaaall before from self-righteous dickheads who think he's the bad guy for stopping a mass murderer and then Dany asks wtf is up with the Lannister army being one fucking guy and Jaime reveals Cersei lied to him too and she ain't sending shit but now has Euron's fleet and 20K mercs and Tyrion looks at Dany concerned as Jaime warns Cersei will turn on any survivors and swears he intends to fight for the living and Tyrion can tell Dany is thinking of killing him and he vouches for his brother but Dany calls him out on being wrong about Cersei and thinks this is a play to kill her knowing Tyrion will defend him like the dumbass he has become from shit writing and Sansa... agrees, reminding everyone Jaime attacked her father on the street and tried to destroy their House, and Jamie reminds them they were at war and he was defending his family and would do it all again and Bran quips "the things we do for love" and Jaime looks at him super shook remembering he knows he fucks his sister lmao (and in fact has probably watched it while astral projecting (while talking Sansa into "testing" his dick while he pretends he can't feel anything))



and Dany asks why the turn of heart and he looks at Brie and says "this goes beyond loyalty, this is about survival" and Brie stands up and vouches that Jaime is indeed honerable, telling her that even though he was her captor, when they both got captured Jaime gave his hand to protect her from rape, and being a rape victim herself Dany can appreciate that, and Brie reminds her Lady Sansa that she couldn't have saved her from the Bolton's if Jaime hadn't armed and armored her to send her on a mission all to also keep an oath to Cat, and Sansa decides if Brie would fight along side him then that's good enough for them, and Dany looks pissed at Sansa flip flopping on her already, and asks Jon his opinion, who even though this is the man who crippled his little brother for life, he bottles it up and says they need every man they can get, and Jaime looks expectantly at Dany... who says very well, and Tyrion sighs super shook expecting all these people Jaime has wronged so personally to have his only real family left killed but Grey Worm steps forward and gives Jaime his sword back but maddogs him as he takes it as if to warn him he better be ready to die if he wants to do anything to Dany, and Jaime says "thank you Your Grace" and Danny gives Jon a concerned look but he rushes off super anxious spilling spaghetti everywhere as Jaime and Brie share a furtive look that he transfers to the knowing Bran, that was a good scene since it was the pay-off to like 4 different storylines of all the people Jaime fucked over, but his one good deed with Brie 5 years later finally bore fruit and saved him from his previous sins of Kingslaying, boy crippling and Ned assaulting which is a very sweet idea that even if it might really fuck you over in the moment maybe doing the right thing can still pay off eventually even for someone as formally arrogant and ruthless as Jaime, although uh Sansa is right Jaime just turning up to fight for them is not exactly the best he could do to help he could, you know, stab his sister or something, or at least commandeer some troops that must be more loyal to him for actually leading them than for the woman who very obviously murdered half the important people left in Westeros



then in the hallway Dany is ranting at Tyrion for being either a traitor or a fool for believing Cersei and starts snarling about how she'll find another Hand who can get her that throne and he tells Varys and Jorah they'll probably get the badge before this is all over and then we see Gendry rushing to bring over piles of dragonglass for his men to forge into weapons for everyone... so uh... wtf is the plan here? they literally just 1v1 the army of the dead lmao? not going to do something non-retarded like get wildfire bombs on catapults or specifically target the Night King for assassination since he's presumably the lynchpin? anyway then Arya shows up and banters about her weapon but Gendry says he's got a thousand axes to make and they have playful bickering about it but Gendry gets serious and says it's safer in the crypt and Arya gives him snark about how she's more of a fighter than him but he tells her he's fought the dead before and she asks how many and he admits "a few... thats enough" and being tactically minded she asks for intel as to what they're like and she says grimly "really bad" and she mocks "really bad? even a smith's apprentice can do better than really bad, what do they look like, what do they smell like, how do they move, how hard are they to kill?" and Gendry snaps "look I know you want to fight and you're not scared of rapers or murderers but this is different... this is DEATH, you want to know what they're like? death, that's what they're like" and Arya just starts throwing spear tips like throwing knives across the room beside a guy working away and he looks around like wtf and then rushes off gasping lmao poor NPC and Arya lectures him "I know Death... he's got many faces... I look forward to seeing this one" and Gendry smiles as she puts three dragonglass spear heads into a post across the room and promises he'll get her the weapon soo



then under the holy white tree Jaime finds Bran and awkwardly comes up to him, and I just noticed in the light he's dyed his hair black to hide his famously blonde appearance, and he says "I'm sorry for what I did to you" but Bran reminds him "you weren't sorry then... you were protecting your family" and he assures him "I'm not that person anymore" but Bran is woke to cause and effect and points out "you still would be, if you hadn't pushed me out of that window, and I would still be Brandon Stark" and Jaime confused asks "you're not?" and Bran says almost forlornly like mourning his past self "no, I'm something else now" and Jaime, not bothering to ask him WTF does that fucking mean since he doesn't know anything about his powers and who know how he'd take that line, realizes "you're not angry with me?" and Bran says "I'm not angry at anyone" and Jaime asks "why... didn't you tell them?" oh yeah Jon doesn't even know lol and Bran explains "you wouldn't be able to help us in this fight if I let them murder you first" I guess Jaime was referring to the meeting they just had and not as a little boy when he was just naively trying to keep his family safe by not starting a war with the Lannisters then and there and Jaime nods in understanding how wise this kid is but then asks "what about afterwards?" and Bran warns "how do you know there is an afterwards?" and Jaime looks shook as he realizes this kid is hinting he'll be dead soon, kinda reminds me of Endgame where Dr. Strange knows what'll happen but can't tell Tony or it'll change the outcome



then in Winterfell we see all the serfs hard at work preparing the defences and supplies and Tyrion walks around as intense foreboding music plays but then he finds Jaime in the crowd and they banter as some guards watching them from above spit on the ground as they are both notorious Kingslayers who now both betrayed their families everyone tells horror stories about even though they're both good guys and Jaime asks how popular Dany is and Tyrion says they're scared of Targs with dragons for obvious reasons and Jaime asks if she's really different from her family and he assures her she really is but Jaime points out she doesn't seem to even trust him and Tyrion admits Cersei played him by saying the pregnancy was making her hope for a new start with Jaime and he asks "was she lying about the baby too?" but Jaime looks down with the weight on his shoulders saying "no, that part is true, she's always been good at using the truth to tell lies, don't be hard on yourself she's fooled me more than anybody" but Tyrion gives him a condescending look and points out "shes never fooled you, you always knew exactly what she was, and you loved her anyway" and Jaime looks concerned as he knows he's right and he just has absolutely terrible taste in women yeah I can relate brother, and Tyrion looks out at all the workers from a walkway and laments "so... we're going to die at Winterfell" and tells his old one-liner about dying as an old man with wine and "a girls mouth around your cock" Jaime finishes for him and Tyrion looks up smiling and adds "at least Cersei won't get to murder me, I'm sure I'll take a little bit of pleasure in denying her that... as I'm being ripped apart by dead men" and Jaime gets distracted by something and wanders off as Tyrion ponders "maybe once I'm dead... I'll march down to King's Landing and tear her apart!" with a glint in his eye as he finds a silver lining in even this situation but then he notices Jaime is staring off outside and goes to see him watch Brie seemingly overseeing men being trained

so Jaime goes down there and sees Grey Worm overseeing the construction of pitfall traps and I also noted on the edge of the castle they've put spikes made of dragonglass to fuck up any zombies that try to climb over which is a good touch and Jaime finds Pod who is now quite the badass after 4 years of sword training with Brie now training another young man and Jaime comes up to Brie and they politely train each other as they watch Pod effortlessly controlling his opponent with one arm but Brie just says he's eh alright and they talk about how she's in command of the left flank since she figures if they stay in formation the terrain can help beat them back and Jaime plays along saying she's right but Brie snaps that he's up to something insisting "we've never had a conversation this long without you insulting me, not once!" which is an interesting touch that she's so used to people insulting her that's probably why she was always busting Pod's balls because she finally had a chance to look down on someone else after a lifetime of people disrespecting her since even though she's the most honerable person around even she falls into the trap of hurting others the way you get hurt which is basically all negative human behaviour is and Jaime snaps "you want me to insult you?" and she snaps "no!" and he snaps "good!" like this is some tsundere anime shit and he forces himself to admit "I came back to Winterfell... because I'm not the fighter I used to be... but I'd be honored to serve under your command if you'd have me" and she glares at him waiting for some ruse to come out but then realizes he's serious and awkwardly says "I better get back" and goes back to work as he stands there looking sad and JUSTed



then with Dany Jorah comes to meet his oneitis and she asks "have you done something to offend me?" waiting for more BS and they talk about her forgiving him and he admits Tyrion being Hand broke his heart and she explains she thought he was doomed but he says she made the right choice despite how he doesn't even like him and wanted to throw him in the sea when they travelled together lmao but his point is Tyrion is the right man for the job but Dany isn't taking it but Jorah says he needs forgiveness and Dany cant believe he's vouching for the man who stole his position as top adviser and he adds one more piece of advise... and we see Dany going to speak to Sansa, who's wearing an almost S&M style fashy black uniform



and doing battle plans with Lord Glover, and Dany does the "leave us" meme to him as I guess Jorah's piece of advise was make friends with Sansa, and as he goes to leave he bows to her, and Dany gives him a sus look as she can tell he's the type to flipflop, but then starts memeing at Sansa about almost being on her side but Sansa explains Brie would give her life for her and vouches for Tyrion as a good man too but Dany says he has to be intelligent and ruthless when he had to be and is a brainlet for trusting Cersei and Sansa adds "you shouldn't have either" and Dany cringes as she tries to control herself from thinking about killing this ginger thot and tries to be friendly to her instead about how complicated their families are, oh if only she knew, and she sits down and tries to find common ground that they also know what it's like to rule people not inclined to follow a woman but succeeding anyway and she smiles as she does get that but Dany cant keep pushing saying she feels they're at odds and Sansa tries to explain but Dany already knows "your brother" and Sansa points out "men do stupid things for women, they're easily manipulated" #pinkpilled and Dany gets uncomfortable as she realizes all the success she has just because men want to orbit her and starts trying to big herself up saying her only goal is to get the throne back from the people who destroyed her family and almost destroyed hers... until she met Jon, and is now half the world away fighting his war, proposing he manipulated her if anything, and giving Sansa and goofy smile and Sansa just chuckles and admits she should be thanking her and Dany takes her hand and assures her "I'm here because I love your brother, I trust him and know he's true to his word, he's the second man in my life I can say that about" and Sansa asks "who's the first?" and Dany tells her "SOMEONE TALLER" LMAOOOOOOOOO FUCKING MANLETS ON SUICIDE WATCH and they laugh together at how short men are subhuman



I guess the first is actually Jorah, but Sansa asks what happens after they defeat the dead and Cersei, and Dany just says "I take the Iron Throne" like it's obvious, but Sansa insist "what about the North?" ranting about how they took their freedom and decided to never give it back, and Dany takes her hand off of hers realizing they might connect personally but are still in political positions to be enemies, but then the maester comes in with news and Dany and Sansa come to see... THEON is here, with a load of men behind him, and he kneels down to Dany and explains Yara is going to retake the Iron Islands for her, and Dany asks confused why he isn't there, and he says "I'd like to fight for Winterfell... Lady Sansa, if you'd have me" and she is overjoyed he's still loyal to their family and rushes to hug him and Theon holds her tight and cries... as he's finally home, his real home, awwwwww



then outside the crowd is getting bigger and bigger as if these are all the normie plebs tuning in just to see the final season and all the refugees are getting food from Davos and one man begs him "my Lord, we're not soldiers" but he tells them "you are now... look, I lived most my life nowhere near a fight, but I survived the Battle of the Bastards right outside these walls, if I can live through that you can live through this... they'll outfit you with weapons at the forge, right that way" and the man steels himself and nods his thanks, and then we see Gilly, who's put on a bit of weight presumably the in-universe reason for this being living with fatass Sam and eating meals with him lmao, telling an old lady that the safest place is in the crypt, and they give their thanks and stumble over there, and a little girl asks Davos "which way should I go?" holding out her bowl and Davos recoils as... she has a burn on her face, just like the princesses greyscale, and he asks "which way do you want to go?" and she says the children hide but she wants to fight with her brothers, so he takes her bowl and Gilly sits down and talks her into going into the crypt with her and her son but to protect them and Davos plays along and the little girl smiles that they trust her and she announces "alright, I'll defend the crypt then!" and goes off and Davos smiles at how Gilly is clearly very good with kids, but then a horn blows and Jon comes rushing out to see... Edd is back, and he hugs Sam and Jon rushes up but TORMUND GRABS JON and growls "heheheh my little crow!" and Jon says "I thought we lost you!" and hugs Edd and shakes Beric's hand, now a brother in arms forever, and asks Edd how they found each other and they explain the dead are already at the last harth and Jon asks "the Umbers?" and Beric cringes "fighting for the Night King now" and Tormund explains "we had to ride around them, whoever's not here now... is with them" and Jon asks "how long do we have?" and Tormund tells them "BEFORE THE SON COMES UP TOMORROW" and everyone looks around shook but Tormund just wants to know "the big woman still here?" so he can get one last great end away before he dies



then we see armored serfs rushing around getting their dragonglass weapons as Jon gives a speech "they're coming... we have dragonglass... and Valaryian steel... but there are too many of them, far too many" as we see catapults being tested and men taking bows and Jon goes on "our enemy doesn't tire... doesn't stop... doesn't feel... we can't beat them in a straight fight" and we see around a battle map the entire remaining hero side of Jon, Sansa, Tyrion, Jorah Dany, Varys, Grey Worm, Missy hiding under the frame, Lord Glover, Lady Mormont, Davos, Tormund, Beric, Jaime, Brie, Lady Karstark, Theon, Sam, Arya and Bran sitting in the corner in his chair lmao are around Jon's battlemap (are they really staging this epic final battle in Winterfell? wouldn't it be better to take it away from where all the fucking civilians are? like maybe The Vale where they have those "bloody gates" or whatever where you can filter the zombies in almost single file and shove them off the mountain and shit?), think the only characters missing are Gendry and The Hound since they're not so tactically minded and are busy arming everyone up and Jaime asks "so what can we do?" and Jon explains "the Night King made them all, they follow his command, if he falls... getting to him may be our best chance" but Jaime knows "if that's true he'll never expose himself" but Bran announces "yes he will" and everyone turns to the cripple boy who tells them "he'll come for me, he's tried before many times with many three-eyed ravens" ok I'm sensing the meme here is that like how Beric seems to actually be the Chosen One of the Red Lady's Lord of Light, or perhaps Dany is, the Three-Eyed Ravens are probably the Chosen One's of the Old Gods which is how they can use their holy trees for their powers... but that means that maybe the Night King is the Chosen One of the Dark God the Red Lady's religion is against... and Sam just asks "...why? what does he want" and Bran warns "an endless night, he wants to erase this world and it's memory" so wait how does Bran know this? and what does this even mean? the Night King wants to kill 3ERs because they... r-remember stuff about the world of men? why does that matter if he's going to kill all men? are you sure it's not to turn 3ERs into White Walkers and use their powers or anything like that that might make sense? and Sam figures "well that's what death is isn't it? ...forgetting... being forgotten, if we forget where we've been and what we've done... we're not men anymore, just animals, your memories dont come from books, your stories aren't just stories... if I wanted to erase the world of men I'd start with you" (so does that mean the NKs second stop is the library Sam used to work in rofl?) and looks around as everyone remembers their own trials and tribulations



and Tyrion asks "how will he find you?" and Bran reveals "his mark is on me, he always knows where I am" and everyone tenses up and Jon promises to put him in the crypt but Bran says "no, we need to lure him into the open before his army destroys us all, I'll wait for him in the godswood" and Sansa realizes "you want us to use you as bait?" but Arya refuses "we're not leaving you alone out there" and Theon promises "he wont be, we'll stay with him, with the Ironborn" and Sansa looks proud at him as Theon swears to Bran "I took this castle from you, and I defend you now" and they nod to each other in respect (is this seriously going to come down to fucking THEON 1v1ing the Night King lmao? inb4 the Night King tries to kick him in the balls, triggering his trap card, and Theon saves the world by kicking him so hard in his own balls they crack since they're made of ice) and Davos says "we'll hold them off for as long as we can" and Tyrion says "when the time comes Ser Davos and I will be on the walls, we'll give you the signal to light the trench" but Dany declares "Ser Davos is perfectly capable of waving a torch on his own... you'll be in the crypt" ah I thought she was gonna force him to fight lis and he inists "Your Grace I have fought before and I can do it again, the men and women risking their lives-" but Dany tells him "there are thousands of them and only one of you, you can't fight as well as they can but you can think better than any of them, you're here because of your mind, if we survive, I'll need it" and just smiles knowing shes right and Jorah smiles knowing he's saved the little pricks life and Tyrion just gives in and nods and Davos goes on "the dragons should give us an edge in the field" but Jon says "if they're in the field they're not protecting Bran, we need to be near him, not too near of the Night King wont come... but close enough to persue him when he comes" and Arya asks Bran "dragon fire will stop him?" who admits "I DON'T KNOW... NO ONES EVER TRIED" yeah almost like you shoulda tested it last season lul and he just looks at Dany and everyone looks around super shook but Tormund just announces "we're all going to die...... but at least we die together" and gives Brie a cheeky grin who just frowns and Jon says "lets get some rest" and everyone clears out and Jon awkwardly doesnt even look at Dany and rushes out and she's like wtf talk about pumping and dumping and Tyrion just looks over at Bran sitting alone in this empty room and asks "do you need any help?" and Bran says "no" as he stares off into the distance calculating timelines like some Dr. Strange shit and Tyrion points out "you've had a strange journey" and Bran agrees "stranger than most" and Tyrion pulls up a chair saying "I'd like to hear about it" and Bran warns "it's a long story" and Tyrion quips "if only we were trapped in a castle... in the middle of winter... with nowhere to go" and smiles



then we see Grey Worm outside inspecting his men upgrading their spears to dragonglass and Missy comes out awkwardly trying to talk to the civilians but a woman takes her daughter away from her, which is probably "period accurate", I remember reading about Harridans wall and there was an African man conscripted into the Roman army who got posted all the way there and when a general was inspecting it he saw this dude and demanded that this man of "foreboding complexion" be removed from his sight since he thought the guy was possessed or some shit to look like that and it was freaking him out and the black man was quoted as saying "won a few battles and thinks hes emperor" as he was escorted away lmao so quick witted black people have been dabbing on uptight whitey with snippy comebacks for at least 2000 years also this dude was who one of the knights of the round table was based on lmao so the UK has been BLACKED for millennia and Grey Worm comes up and realizes "when Danearys takes her throne, there will be no place for us here, I am loyal to my Queen, I will fight for her until her enemies are defeated, but when the war is over and she has won, do you want to grow old in this place? is there nothing else you want to do? nothing else you want to see?" and Missy admits "Naarth, I'd like to see the beaches again" and Grey Worm promises "I will take us there" but she says "our people are peaceful, we cannot protect ourselves" and he just smiles saying "my people are not peaceful, we will protect you" and she smiles knowing her boyfriend is the deadliest man in the world



then the camera pans up to Jon, Sam and GHOST! has come back with the Castle Black boys I guess and they chat about telling Dany the whole epic twist but Edd interrupts them and quips "and now our watch begins" as here the three of them are again, ontop of a frozen wall staring out into a snowstorm waiting for god knows what to attack it, and Jon makes sure Gilly and lil Sam are in the crypt, and Sam tears up as he offers for him to join them but Sam looks offended and reminds him "everyone seems to forget I was the first man to kill a White Walker! I've killed Thenns!" and Edd corrects "Thenn" and he keeps going "I've protected Gilly more than once, stole countless books from the Citadel library, survived the Fist of the First Men, you need me out there!" and Edd quips "well if that's what it's come to we really are fucked!" and Sam fires back "well calling you fucked wouldn't be strictly accurate" as he's finally the one taunting him for not getting laid and Edd looks around bewildered as Jon laughs at him and he cant believe it "Samwell Tarly... slayer of White Walker... lover of ladies... as if we needed anymore signs the world is ending!" and Sam reminisces "think back to where we started... us... Gren... Pyp..." and Jon realizes "now it's just us three" and Edd quotes himself "last man left, burn the rest of us" and Sam cringes realizing they probably wont even get that chance as they stare out at the mountains



then back with Tyrion sitting by the fire but now drinking with Jaime Tyrion surprisingly says "I wish father were here" and Jaime looks confused as Tyrion jokes "I'd love to see the look on his face as he realizes his two sons are about to die defending Winterfell!" and Jaime cant help but let a laugh out and says "that would be something to see" as they watch the flames and Tyrion reminisces about the last time they were last there and it was so simple with Jaime the golden lion and him the drunken whoremonger "it was all so simple" but Jaime calls him out "it wasn't so simple, I was sleeping with my sister and you had one friend in the world... who was sleeping with his sister!" and Tyrion explains "I was speaking in relative terms" and asks if he misses it, which he does, and says his golden lion days are done but he can still whoremonger, but Tyrion says he can't and raises a glass to "the perils of self-betterment" and then suddenly Brie and Pod barge in and they apologize to each other and she says "we were just looking for somewhere-" and Tyrion talks over her finishing "to contemplate your imminent death? you've come to the right place" and offers his old squire some wine but Brie snaps "I don't think that's wise... the battle might start at any moment... half a cup!" like she's his mother and Tyrion offers Brie some but she says she needs sleep but Jaime points out no-ones sleeping tonight so takes just a bit and sits down by the chair he offers and then Davos joins the party needing some fire saying he ain't dying with his balls freezing off and Tormund comes in looking shifty as we know what he's there for and he tries his luck with Brie saying "this could be our last night in this world you know......" and Brie, expecting to be sexually harassed, glares at him and awkwardly says "yes well I'm glad you're here... here fighting with us, glad you survived Eastwatch!" and Tyrion tries to clam him down with a drink but he's brought his own and he Tormund starts on Jaime "they call you King Killer!" and Jaime tries to hide his smirk saying "I'm sure someone does" and Tormund fires back "they call me Giantsbane! want to know why?" and pulls up a chair as everyone rolls their eyes at each other lmao and Tormund claims "I killed a giant when I was 10... then I climbed right into bed with his wife..." and everyone looks at each other raising their eyebrows at this obvious lie and he goes on "and when she woke up, you know what she did? ...suckled me at her teet, or three months! thought I was a baby... that's how I got so strong! giants milk!" and Brie just stares at him like what... the... fuck... as Tormund downs his drink spilling alcohol all over himself and everyone looks around like uhhhhhh and Davos just sighs "maybe I will have that drink" rofl



then outside on the castle walls poor The Hound is drinking by himself when... Arya comes up and stares at him, and he offers her a drink and she takes it, a habit he got her on 4 years ago, and she sips beside hi and they just sit in silence and The Hound sighs "you used to never shut up now you're just sitting there like a mute?" and Arya says "....................guess I've changed..................... what are you doing up here?" meaning Winterfell and his whole crazy journey and why he's loyal to anyone and The Hound reminds her "I fought for you didn't I?" as ol Beric comes up and The Hound sighs "oh for fuck's sake! might as well be at a bloody wedding" and Beric apologizes for parting ways badly with Arya and The Hound asks "he on your list?" and Arya admits "for a little while" and Beric sits down saying "that's allright, the Lord of Light has brought us together all the same... this is his moment, when the Lord of L-" but The Hound snaps "Thoros isn't here anymore! so I hope you're not about to give a seremon! because if I you are the Lord of Light's going to be wondering why he brought you back 19 times just to watch you die when I chuck you over this FUCKING WALL!" hahahahaha and Beric just smiles and puts out his hand for the wine and The Hound smiles at him throwing his flask to him with this dude who he fought through hell with and is going back in with and Arya leaves saying "I'm not spending my last hours with you two miserable old shits" rofllllll leaving the two odd couple to pass the wine back and fourth



and we see Arya practising her archery for old time sake like she used to do as a little girl when... Gendry shows up, with her detachable spear device that I suppose may be spring loaded or something, and she twirls it around saying "this'll work" moving it a bit too past Gendry for comfort as he jokes about how he really did end up in Winterfell like she asks but she just asks what the Red Lady wanted with him and he gets uncomfortable and sums it up that she wanted his blood for a spell and admits "I'm Robert Baratheon's bastard, didn't know until she told me, she tied me up, stripped me down, put leaches all over me" and Arya can tell more than that happened "was that your first time?" and a slightly traumatized Gendry clapsback "yeah I'd never had leaches put all over me before" but Arya clarifies "your first time with a woman" and he flounders to deny but she just wants to know if he's still a virgin and he spills spaghetti and says that he wasn't and she asks how many and he says "I didn't keep count!" but she knows "yes you did" so he admit "ugh... three" and Arya goes up and tells him "we're probably going to die soon... I ought to know what it's like before that happens" and looks at him expectantly and he just goes "Arya I..." and Arya cant wait anylonger for him to make the first move so ARYA KISSES GENDRY and he likes it so she keeps going and rushes to get his jacket off and he rusehs to undress her too as they almost fight to tear each others clothes off and she shoves him back on some sacks of grain as she takes her top off and Gendry looks a bit worried at the scars on her side but she promises "I'm not the Red Woman... take your own bloody pants off" which is actually really sweet and considerate that she understands the last time he had sex he was assaulted during it so is going to have some security and trust issues and even though she's the assertive one there knwos how to make him comfortable awww and then WE SEE ARYA STRIP NAKED W-WAIT HOW OLD IS THIS ACTRESS UHHHHH OH SHE'S 25 OK ITS FINE ITS FINE and Gendry rushes to get his dick out and stares in amazement at this woman who he met as a little crossdressing girl gets on top of him and starts making love, christ I bet the shippers who have been saying he is fated to be Arya's true love since they met in season fucking 2 are overjoyed since they never even met again after season 3 lmao but some fans just wont drop something and made all these dumbass youtube videos about that time Rob said him and Ned's kids should marry, clearly talking about Joffrey and Sansa since he didn't even know Gendry existed but their mental theories finally paid off also I read some retarded SJW article that this scene was jarring for "many viewers" aka 5 retards on twitter because Arya's sexuality and "gender identity" was ambigious, since as we all know if a woman likes to fight that means she is actually a man and this is a very progressive and not extremely sexist and backwards way of thinking even though they are going against their own autistic bullshit since Arya having sex with a man has nothing to do with her gender identity and she could identify as a gay man for all they know so uh suck on it and let them get some action before they die



then with a more glum looking Tormund, Brie, Jaime, Davos, Tyrion and Pod all staring into the fire as if hoping for a sign and Tyrion goes on "it's strange isn't it... almost everyone here has fought the Starks... at one time or another... and here we are in their castle... ready to defend it... together" and Brie points out "at least we'll die with honor" and Pod and Jaime both look admiringly at her and Tyrion says "I think we might live" but DAVOS BURSTS OUT LAUGHING and Tyrion swears "I really do! how many battles have we survived between us? Ser Davos Seaworth, survivor of both the Blackwater and Battle of the Bastards" and Davos admits "all without a shred of combat ability" (you'd think he wouldn't reply with a joke to the dude who almost killed him in that first battle... and killed his fucking son lmao, but I think the writers forgot that too) which Tormund attests to with an embarassed grunt and he goes on "Ser Jaime Lannister! fabled hero of the siege of Pyke!" but Jaime adds "fabled LOSER of the Battle of Whispering Wood" which Tyrion cheers to and goes on "Ser Brienne of Tarth, defeated The Hound... pardon me, Lady Brienne" and Tormund cant believe "you're not a Ser?! you're not the knight?!" and Brie explains "women can't be knights" pretending not to mind but Tormund just slurs "why not?" and she says "tradition" and Tormund announces "fuck tradition!" as people do whatever they feel like where he's from but Brie claims "I don't even want to be a knight" and looks at Pod staring at her as she knows he knows she's lying and Tormund goes on "I'm no King but if I were... I'd knight you ten times over!" and Jaime remembers "you don't need a King... any knight can make another knight..." and looks furtively at her and slams his cup down saying "I'll prove it!" and takes his sword out with a shiiiiing and tells her "kneel, Lady Brienne" and she scoffs still worried it's a prank against her but he insists "do you want to be a knight or not?" and she realizes he's serious and he goes "kneel" and she looks at Pod who smiles a tiny bit and nods a tiny bit and Jaime nods to her and she instantly stands up and sad music comes on as Brie's impossible dream is coming true and everyone gets up to watch... as Brie, a bit drunk, wobbles over to Jaime... and kneels down... and Jaime puts Widow's Wail on her shoulder and announces "in the name of The Warrior... I charge you to be brave... in the name of The Father... I charge you to be just... in the name of The Mother... I charge you to defend the innocent...



arise Brienne of Tarth... A KNIGHT OF THE SEVEN KINGDOMS" as he taps both her shoulders and she stands up overjoyed with pride as Tormund breaks out in aplause and Davos joins in tapping his thigh as he can't really clap with his missing fingers on one hand lmao and Pod claps and Tyrion raises his wine to "Brienne of Tarh! Knight of the Seven Kingdoms!" and they all smile as Jaime nods to her and she gets a huge goofy grin like a little girl whos dream came true as her eyes tear up as she finally lets herself be proud of herself and accept praise from others after accepting she'll always be disrespected her whole life so it's best to just put up with it and not get her hopes up or show her feelings PATRIARCHY STATUS: SMASHED, also I misread some spoilers I saw retards talking about openly in this ep and thought they were talking about Jaime and Brie having sex which would have been appropriate but I guess Brie is still a virgin, which leaves her as the last incel standing since Varys doesn't really count since he seems to be asexual and hell even Greyworm eats pussy every night



then Sam arrives to find lil Lady Mormont arguing with, lmao, her cousin Jorah begging her not to fight as she's the future of their House, as some Knights of the Vale march by behind her joining the other armies, but Lady Mormont is wearing the exact same armor he is and insists "I will not fight underground, I pledged to fight for the North, and I will fight" so Jorah just gives up and they both look over to see Sam lurking and spunky lil Lady Mormont says "it's alright, we're done here" and marches off but turns back and smiles saying "I wish you good fortune... cousin" and he smiles at how brave his little cousin he's only just met is probably reminding him of his father, that was a sweet scene and I'm glad the two Mormonts got to finally meet, and he bows saying "thank you my lady" as she nods and goes on with her men who all nod in genuine respect that this like 12 year old girl is ready to ride and/or die for them



and Sam is carrying his father's sword Heartsbane and talks about how he'd love to defend what's left of his family with it... but he can't even hold it upright, and since Jorah's father taught him how to be a man and do what's right, he knows this is right... and explains it's Valaryan steel, hopefully he understands that that can fuck up White Walkers, and gives it to Jorah, who admires the blade and says "I'll wield it in his memory... to guard the realms of men" as he smiles knowing his father's good deeds are going to protect him one last time and Sam tries to tell him "I'll see you when it's through" and they both nervously nod to each other knowing probably not and Sam seriously adds "I hope we win" and walks off having given Jorah his sword for the big battle, I guess him and Jamie and Brie and maybe Arya with the dagger are the only ones using their own weapons and not Gendry's dragonglass weapons



then back with Jaime and the crew Tyrion is insisting they drink more but Davos points out they're out so he proposes a song but everyone is super drunk and tired and Davos assures him if he sings he'll "beg for a quick death" and he asks the now "Ser Brienne?" who shakes her head and he tries Tormund who just growls at him insecure so.. POD STARTS SINGING, AND IT'S GREAT, THE ABSOLUTE MADMAN BASED POD IS BACK BEING PERFECT AT WHATEVER HE TRIES FOR THE FIRST TIME and everyone is impressed by his beautiful song about a woman seeing ghosts of all her loved ones



as we see Gilly and lil Sam who is now like 4 years old sleeping beside Sam, the man who saved her from her abusive father and saved her baby from becoming a monster, who looks over them protectively, the crowd of refugees outside getting their last meal in with Sansa chatting to Theon, the man who saved her from her serial killer rapist who mutilated his mind and body, and she looks lovingly at him but also sad knowing they could never have a family together, ok that one actually got me emotional from all they've been through together, see I told you that rape scene with Sansa was appropriate



and Gendry, the last Baratheon standing and arguably more right to be King than anyone else rofl, sleeping beside Arya who stares off in anxiety, wondering if turning herself into a murderer will be enough to save her family, and outside Grey Worm passionately kisses Missy goodbye, the woman who accepted him despite his everything that was taken from him because they both understand suffering slavery, as he falls in with his Unsullied brothers



and we see Jorah riding to the frontline to make sure there's still time, and in the crypt Jon is standing by Ned's statue... when Dany comes walking down... and asks "who's that?" lmao, and Jon says "Lyanna Stark......." and Dany says "my brother Rhaegar, everyone told me he was decent and kind, he liked to sing, gave money to poor children... and he raped her" but Jon tells her "he didn't... he loved her" and turns to tell her "they were married in secret, the day Rhaegar fell at The Tirdent she had a son... Robert would have murdered the baby if he found out and Lyanna knew it, so the last thing she did... as she bled to death on her birthing bed, was give the baby to her brother, Ned Stark, to raise as his bastard... my name... my real name... IS AEGON TARGARYAN" and Dany is like "that's impossible" and Jon explains Bran "saw it" and assures her Sam confirmed it but Dany aint buying "a secret no one in the world knew except your brother and best friend? doesn't seem strange to you?" but Jon knows it in his bones "it's true Dany, I know it is" and Dany tells him "if it were true it would make you the last MALE hair to house Targeryen, you'd have a claim to the Iron Throne" and stares at him like she doesn't want to decide to kill him... but she will if she has to... but then... A HORN BLOWS also there was a moment there where Dany looks right at the camera lmao nice acting thot



and Dany and Jon rush to the castle walls as the horn goes fucking apeshit and Tyrion is already up there and they hear extremely noisy marching as this banging and scraping sound effect starts up and the ticking clock from Dunkirk sounds up as Jon nods to Dany that it's rock and roll time and super intense scary music starts up as Tyrion tries his hardest to steel himself as he looks out to see as the camera pulls back from Winterfell... a rotten zombie horse hoof settling on the snow... THAT A WHITE WALKER IS RIDING... AND ANOTHER WHITE WALKER RIDES UP BEHIND HIM... JOINING HIM IN A ROW OF HUNDREDS OF WHITE WALKERS!!!



OH SHIT!!! W-WE'VE ONLY SEEN LIKE THREE AT ONCE!!! AND THEY'RE OVERLOOKING... WINTERFELL!!!



and we cut to black as some woman starts singing Podrick's song, I really wish I'd realized that the White Walkers were just the blue dudes and the zombies were just called wytes or "the dead" and not White Walkers too but oh well I aint going back to change all those terms lmao shoulda made it clear in the show, but that was a good episode, maybe a bit slow for people watching week to week but it was really good to check in with all the characters before it all kicks off next episode... oh g-d I know it's gonna be some crazy shit, I went full "a new Avengers movie is coming out" protocol and signed off of everything and avoided all the websites I usually go on to dodge spoilers after I kept seeing YOU WONT FUCKING BELIEVE WHO DIED LAST NIGHT AT THE BATTLE OF WINTERFELL in all the clickbait sites around the internet, here we fucking go!



Game of Thrones 8x03: "The Long Night"
I'd say Left 4 Dead 3 but it doesn't exist Gabe you fat fuck you're almost as lazy as GRRM special edition
First aired: April 28, 2019

oh god this episode is 92 minutes long there are literally movies shorter than this... uuugghhghg me olddd chuuuuummm uuughhhhhhhh I can't take the tention ooooooohhhhhhhh myyyyy baaaaabyyyyyyyyyyy ok here we go, HBO logo, intro animation I'm skipping, written by DnD, directed by some dude who better be good... we open on Sam nervously wringing his hands as he gets handed some dragonglass weapons and men march all around him and some dude with a scarred face tells him "move!" and he rushes outside... hang on I'm gonna turn my lights in my bedroom off for this... and Sam sees everyone rushing to get the civvies in the crypt... and he flinches as lil Lady Mormont orders her men "come on! help the lads!" as they rush to get the civvies away, and he passes Tyrion, oh its one long shot time, who walks through the courtyard as this throbbing soundtrack plays as his face trips him as he gets as serious as he ever gets, passing by a bunch of men in armor, and he gets a backpack and sees Bran being wheeled out by Tyrion, some Ironborn archers and a concerned looking Lady Karstark who isn't too sure why the fuck they're bringing a fucking crippled teenager in a fucking wheelchair into the worst war the world has ever seen, sorry, you aint making it out of here alive, you ain't main character love



and he looks on worried about Bran, but oh we get a cut, would have been dank to show literally the entire cast around the set of this castle, and we pan up over the walls into the night sky over the broken tower, and we find the men on the wall fidgeting with their bows and breathing heavy as Davos walks by giving them all their arrows, and on the other side of the same wall Sansa stares out with Arya, and they hear a roaring and look up, but this time not scared, but glad, to see Drogon and his brother flying overhead, and out front the entire Unsullied army falls into position, and in front of them are the catapults, and in front of them are the Dothraki hoard (who for some fucking reason still have their sickles and aren't armed with dragonglass blades), who even they are getting nervous, having never faced literal monsters before, and in front of them are the Northern armies of all the remaining Houses soldiers, the Knights of the Vale, even the female civilians have been given armor, and Pod, Brie and Jaime stand with them, with Grey Worm at the head of his army.... and Beric stands by Tormund in front of his army of the Wildlings, and The Hound steps forward taking his place beside them with Gendry with him and Edd there too and then Sam finally finds his fatass way to the front of the line... why the fuck is Sam there? he can't fight and is too smart to risk for zombie fodder, maybe his fat ass can't fit in the tunnels or something... and Edd cant help but say "oh for fuck sake, you took your time!" for our first line of the episode, almost as if he's talking to GRRM lmao since he hasn't gotten the finale of his book done in like 18 fucking years but we're already here in the show



and we pan up to see... the four fucking armies outside Winterfell... all ready to fight and die for Jon and Dany... and even the horses can sense some bad shit is about to go down and are stomping nervously... and Ghost, the last direwolf standing, sits beside Jorah, both breathing hard as they stare into the darkness together, different species but both knowing this is the fight of their lives... and the camera zooms in on the darkness... and the wind blows... and Jorah's eyes tear up... and he steels himself for his love... and the camera zooms in on the darkness... and we see Jon walking through the snow by the two dragons to Dany standing on a cliff overlooking their four armies, two each, protecting the last stronghold of the North, unable to see their enemy in the darkness... and he stands beside her...



and it seems like even the dragons understand... the night is dark and full of terror... this is some primal shit... everyone's ready to fight... but all you can see is pitch black night... fear of the unknown... something even a lizards brain can understand... and on the walls Sansa and Arya look out into the pitch black... as a single figure rides out into the snowy field... and Davos looks down to see his one rider approaching... like wtf... and speak of the devil IT'S THE RED LADY, who I guess all this time was a sort of Rasputin figure, someone who claims to be a mystic and winds up a royal family into doing weirder and weirder shit, as opposed to Qyburn who's more of a Dr. Mengele opportunistic demented scientist type, and she approaches Jorah and looks around at the Dothraki army and asks "do you speak their tongue?" and Jorah nods, and she says "tell them to lift their swords" awwww shit, and Jorah just glares at her, but the wind starts rustling and he gets freaked out so just tells them, and they do... and the Red Lady rides up to them as Ghost watches her with a close eye... and she takes the Dothraki leaders sword and says a spell in Valaryan, and I swear I hear "Elon Musk" in there... but as Ghost recoils in confusion THE DOTHRAKI LEADERS SWORD IGNITES IN FLAME AND SO DOES HIS ENTIRE HOARDS



AND SANSA AND ARYA WATCH AS A WALL OF FLAMING SWORDS IGNITES ALONG THE DOTHRAKIS ENTIRE ARMY AS THEY CHEER IN PRIDE (I guess they don't give a shit about hating witches anymore since they can get all the buffs they can get) and Davos, Jaime, Brie, Grey Worm, Tormund and Sam all watch in amazement... and only Edd is brave enough to give a big smirk! and Jorah nods to her like shit, you're fine by me, and Jorah takes out his own sword, coulda lit his up too you know and she approaches Grey Worm, and tells him "Valar Morghulis" and he does the meme back "Valar Dohaeris" and she rides along his front line as Davos eyes the woman who killed his best friends daughter but still orders "open the gate!" for the men to let this woman who started most of this shit in and he storms outside and over a walkway to see the woman he swore to kill if she ever came back there and she takes her hood off and smiles "there's no need to execute me Ser Davos... I'll be dead before the dawn" and Davos bricks it wondering what that means for him and just lets her walk up to look up... at Arya... who just looks worried at her, barely even remembering they were enemies once, and Arya is distracted by the Dothraki going lalalalala to hype up and THE THEME SONG STARTS UP AS THE DOTHRAKI CHARGE INTO THE NIGHT WITH THEIR FLAMING SWORDS AS SANSA AND ARYA LOOK AT EACH OTHER LIKE HERE... WE... GO...



AND JORAH JOINS IN ON THE ENTIRE HOARD HE'S COMMANDING AS THEY GALLOP THEIR HORSES ACROSS THE FIELD AS DANY AND JON LOOK DOWN AT THIS MASS OF FIRES SWARM ACROSS THE SNOW



AND THE UNSULLIED LIGHT THEIR CATAPULTS AND FIRE THEM ACROSS THE DOTHRAKI WHO HOWL IN SUPPORT AND GHOST CATCHES UP BESIDE JORAH WITH HIS EYES GLOWING RED FROM THE FIRES AND STARTS GROWLING READY FOR THE HUNT OF A LIFETIME AND JORAH LOOKS AROUND AT EVERYONE AROUND HIM READY TO DIE FOR THE LOVE OF HIS LIFE AND WITH THE POWER OF THOUSANDS OF BETA ORBITERS ALL AROUND HIM POWERING UP HIS FRIENDZONED BETA CUCK RAGE...



THE DOTHRAKI LEADER PLOWS STRAIGHT INTO A ZOMBIE GIANT!!!



and Jon and Dany watch as... the battlecrys turn to screams... and Grey Worm yells to cease fire as the two armies collide... and Brie and Jaime watch... as the flaming swords start to be extinguished... and the battle sounds are overcome by the sounds of snarling... and The Hound, Beric and Jaime watch... AS THE ENTIRE DOTHRAKI HOARD IS ENGULFED BY THE DARKNESS



and Edd looks concerned at Sam as they look back out and the Wildlings look at each other like uhhhhhh if those insane bastards are done for... are we? and the Stark girls ont he wall wait as the darkness just sits there... but then a horse rides out... and another... snorting and squealing in terror... and a few Dothraki run out on foot... and another horse comes out and a few more men flee... and Tormund sees Jorah, in severe pain, just shake his head at him... and Dany realizes... HER ENTIRE DOTHRAKI ARMY WAS DEFEATED IN A FEW SECONDS and she goes to hop on Drogon but Jon grabs her telling her "the Night King is coming" but Dany tells him "the dead are already here" and we here Drogon snarl as she hops on



and a Knight of the Vale is absolutely bricking it as intense thumping music starts up and Sam realizes he can hear... snarling... and The Hound, Tormund, Beric, Gendry, Pod all brace themselves... as they realize... that thumping sound ain't the fucking score... it's feet... there's something coming at them... a lot of somethings... and Grey Worm steels himself, feeling scared for the first time in his life, not for him but for Missy, and puts his helmet on... and stares down fear itself in the darkness...



HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS OF ZOMBIES FLOOD OUT OF THE DARKNESS



AND GREY WORM ORDERS HIS MEN TO LOWER THEIR SPEARS AS THE SWARM OF THE UNDEAD POUR ON TOP OF THE UNSULLIED ARMY TEARING THEM APART IN ONE GIANT BIOMASS OF DEATH



AND TORMUND CANT BELIEVE WHAT HES SEEING AS THE ZOMBIES OVER SPILL ON TOP OF THE SOLDIERS THEY'RE RIPPING TO SHREDS



BUT HIS ARMY IS NEXT AND HE SCREAMS IN PRIMAL FURY HACKING THE TORRENT OF ZOMBIES CRASHING INTO HIS WILDLING ARMY AND A KNIGHT OF THE VALE IN THE LAST INTACT ARMY STANDING OF THE NOTHERNERS BRICKS IT AND RUNS AWAY AND BRIE SCREAMS AT THE TOP OF HER LUNGS "STAND YOUR GROUUUUUUUUUND!!!"



AND HER AND JAIME GET SMASHED BY THE WALL OF THE DEAD AND THE MEN ARE GETTING TORN APART AS BERIC SWINGS HIS FLAMING SWORD AND THE HOUND HACKS INTO THEM AND THEY DIVE ON TOP OF PODRICK BITING AT HIS NECK AND ONE TACKLES STRAIGHT INTO BRIE BRINGING THE MASSIVE WOMAN DOWN LIKE IT'S NOTHING



AND JAIME SEES THE WOMAN HE JUST KNIGHTED AND HIS ONLY FRIEND BEING EATEN ALIVE BY MONSTERS SO CHARGES STRAIGHT IN STABBING THEM WITH HIS DEAD SON'S SWORD TO TEAR THEM OFF BUT BEHIND HIM COMES... DRAGON FIRE SLICING THROUGH THE ARMY OF ZOMBIES LIKE A FUCKING ORBITAL ION CANON AND HE LOOKS FUCKING GLAD IT'S ON HIS SIDE THIS TIME



AND HE LOOKS UP TO SEE DANY, THE DRAGON QUEEN AND A BUNCH OF OTHER MEMES I'M NOT LOOKING UP, RIDING DROGON LITERALLY RAINING FIRE DOWN ON THEIR ENEMIES, AND TORMUND SEES BOTH DRAGONS SLICING FIRE THROUGH THE DEAD LIKE HOT KNIFE THROUGH BUTTER AND STARTS OPERATING LIKE A MAD CUNT SLICING ZOMBIES APART WITH HIS MACHETE



AS... JON'S RIDING RHAEGAL, LAYING DOWN WALLS OF DRAGONFIRE PERFECTLY ON TARGET FROM HIS BACK, AND SAM LOOKS UP IN AMAZEMENT REALIZING HIS BEST FRIEND IS CONTROLLING A FUCKING DRAGON TO SAVE THEM WHILE EDD HACKS A ZOMBIE APART BEHIND HIM, AND SANSA AND ARYA WATCH PROUDER THAN EVER AS THEIR BROTHER AND HIS LOVER SCORCH THOUSANDS OF MONSTERS TO HELL THIS IS SO FUCKING EPIC MY COMPUTER JUST BECAME SELF AWARE AND CRASHED GOOGLE CHROME SO I CANT GET SPOILED LMAO



AND JON LOOKS DOWN AT THE LINE OF WHITE WALKERS STANDING BY THE TREELINE COMMANDING THEIR ZOMBIE ARMIES AND HE GIVES A LOOK TO DANY AND TAKES RHAEGAL SWOOPING DOWN AND THE WHITE WALKERS LOOK UP... AND A SNOWSTORM HUNDREDS OF METERS TALL SUDDENLY BURSTS OUT FROM THE FORREST ENGULFING JON AND HIS DRAGON INTO DARKNESS AND DROGON DOES ANOTHER PASS OVER THE ZOMBIE ARMY MAKING THEM SCREECH AS THEY FRY BUT DANY GETS HIT BY THE SNOWSTORM TOO AND SHE STRUGGLES TO KEEP DROGON OUT OF IT



and the ticking Dunkirk music starts up again and Arya tells Sansa "get down to the crypt" and she insists "I'm not abandoning my people" and Arya hands her I think a dragonglass dagger and tells her "take this and go" and Sansa stutters "I-I don't know how to use it" and Arya quotes their late father telling her "stick em with the pointy end" and she recognizes who that must be from and nods and rushes off and IN THE BATTLE JAIME, PODRICK AND BRIE ARE ALL STILL STANDING HACKING AT ZOMBIES AND LOOK UP TO SEE... THE TERRIFYING SNOWSTORM CLOSING IN ON THEM...



AND TORMUND, BERIC AND THE HOUND START TO BE OBSCURED IN SNOW... AND DANY DOES ANOTHER PASS OF THE ZOMBIE FRONT LINE ON DROGON, SPRAYING DRAGONFLAME DOWN ACROSS IT, TAKING OUT AN UNDEAD GIANT SWINGING AT THEIR GUYS, JUST AS THE SNOWSTORM ENGULFS THEM TOO



and in the walled garden Theon looks up seeing the massive fucking mile high snowstorm approach and looks at Bran and Lady Karstark comes up beside them like uhhhhhhhh I wish I was a main character right about now



and in the battle Jorah rides through slicing at zombies but ZOMBIES DOGPILE HIS HORSE, GROUNDING HIM, SO HE STARTS OPERATING, AND BRIE DOES HER ANIMALISTIC HOWLS AS SHE CHOPS INTO THE DEAD, AND TORMUND THROWS A ZOMBIE OFF OF HIMSELF ONTO A SPIKE AND GETS BACK TO HACKING AWAY AT THEM WITH THE HOUND, AND JAIME IS BREATHING HARD AS HE SKEWERS WINDOW'S WAIL INTO THE DEAD, AND ONE CHARGES AT PODRICK WHO HOLLARS AND SLICES IT BACK, AND GENDRY SMASHES A HAMMER DOWN INTO ANOTHER, AND POD KILLS ANOTHER, AND THE HOUND SMASHES THE AXE HE MADE HIM INTO ANOTHER, SCREAMS IN RAGE AND HACKS ANOTHER IN HALF, AND ONE ZOMBIE THROWS ITSELF OFF OF THE FIGHTING CROWD ON TOP OF JAIME, AND ONE JUMPS ON TOP OF TORMUND, AND SAM IS FIGHTING AS HARD AS HE CAN PLUNGING HIS DRAGONGALSS DAGGER, ONE OF THE ORIGINALS I GUESS, INTO A ZOMBIES BELLY, AS ANOTHER DIVES ON HIS FRIEND AND HE SCREAMS "EDD!" BUT ONE DIVES ON HIM TOO AND STARTS FORCING ITS KNIFE TOWARDS HIS EYE LIKE SOME MISSION IMPOSSIBLE 2 SHIT AS HE PANTS IN PURE FEAR...



BUT EDD STABS IT IN THE BACK, SAVING SAM! AND SAM LOOKS OVER THROUGH THE FLAMES TO SEE THE SILHOUETTE OF... JORAH, STILL FIGHTING, AND SMILES KNOWING EVEN IF HE CAN'T FIGHT HE SAVED A MAN WHO DAMN WELL CAN



AND EDD SCREAMS "SAM GET UP!" AND DRAGS HIM TO HIS FEET... BUT EDD GETS STABBED FROM BEHIND, SPITTING BLOOD ALL OVER HIS FACE, AND HIS LAST WORD IS "SAM" AS HE COLLAPSES, AND THE MONSTER THAT KILLED HIS FRIEND SNARLS AT SAM... WHO FUCKING BRICKS IT AND LEGS IT LMAO



and in the crypt Sansa walks down the stairs as the heavy doors lock behind her and she walks into the dark bunker to find all the civilians cowering with Tyrion, Varys, Gilly and Missy down there and everyone looks super shook at each other and Tyrion just takes a swig of wine... hey dickhead maybe you should have asked your sister for some wildfire she clearly has access to when she was pretending to help you you alchie fuck

then in the snowstorm outside Jon is struggling to stay on Rhaegal's back as he flaps around in confusion and then RHAEGALS STARTS HITTING THE TOPS OF TREES AND YELPS ON CONFUSION AS THERE'S ZERO VISIBILITY AND JON HOLDS ON FOR DEAR LIFE... WHEN OUT OF NOWHERE DROGON CRASHES INTO HIS BROTHER!!! LMAO WOOPS A FUCKING DAISY!!!, AND BOTH DRAGONS STRUGGLE TO STAY IN FLIGHT IN THE STORM WINDS, AND JON AND DANY LOOK AT EACH OTHER AS THE DRAGONS TRY TO STAY IN FORMATION TOGETHER how the fuck did both Jon and Dany manage to hold on during that collision lol? I guess being Targs they get status buffs for dragon mounts



and they look down into the battle to see dead humans everywhere and Tormund screams "fall back! fall back!" to his Wildlings but a zombie hits him in the leg so he smashes it in the head and Brie screams to the Northern army "fall baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack!" and everyone legs it like fuck and based Lady Mormont in her badass armor who's leading the protection of the castle orders "open the gaaaaate!" and her men rush to let their forces in who are banging on the door and the castle is immediately flooded to the brim with humans from all armies and one falls over almost getting crushed in the rush and Lady Mormont orders "keep moving! fast! get to your posts!" and we see Sam rushing in thank god and Grey Worm sees what they're having to do so orders in valyarian "protect the retreat! stand your ground!" and the Unsullied ready themselves, forced to be the perfect soldiers but willing to die as the perfect soldiers, and snap to formation just as A WALL OF ZOMBIES HITS THE UNSULLIED WHO STAB THEIR SPEARS INTO EVERYTHING ATTACKING THEM and in the castle even more soldiers flood in and we pan up over the archers on the wall to see the flood or humans fleeing inside and the formations of Unsullied ready to take the zombies and we pan into the snowstorm and see the dragons flying about trying to escape and Jon yells "Daaaaaaanyyyyyy!" trying to help her out and we see Bran looking up into the snowstorm at a dragon that lands with a thump on the wall and thank god it's Jon who looks around worried and Lady Mormont pants as she sees her armies filling up the castle and Brie and Jaime usher more and more in and outside Grey Worm shouts orders as THE UNSULLIED STAND THEIR GROUND, SKEWERING WAVE AFTER WAVE OF ZOMBIES but the rear formation still has to take steps back to maintain space as the front formations are being overrun and they open up to let survivors retreat and we pan up to see... THERE'S EXPONENTIALLY MORE ZOMBIES THAN THERE ARE HUMANS



and the archers start firing flaming arrows (just a nitpick but I am pretty sure flaming arrows are not real since they'd just, you know, be extinguished as soon as you fired them lmao) down to cover the retreat as Tormund and Gendry smash their way through the zombies to escape but they're starting to climb over the defenses and Arya sees The Hound running through the snow and ARYA FIRES A FLAMING ARROW AT THE HOUND... HEADSHOTTING THE ZOMBIE CHASING HIM



and he looks up seeing who saved him and starts smashing a zombie in the head with his axe, and now it's time for even the Unsullied to fall back into the castle and Lady Mormont yells the order "protect the gate!" and The Hound screams back outside "fall back!" and the Unsullied start retreating in formation as Grey Worm makes it inside but there's too many zombies pushing the entire Unsullied back against itself and he realizes this is it and orders "light the trench!" and Davos gives the signal waiving two flaming torches across each other and Grey Worm breathes hard as he watches his brothers he grew up with and fought beside being slaughtered by monsters and he forces himself to pull the rope triggering the pitfall cutting off the only path by the fortifications, sacrificing his men, and Davos keeps signalling up into the snowstorm but realizes "she can't see us" as they left their plan up to one person lmao fucking morons so he orders his archers to fire their flaming arrows to light the trenches but the fortifications block their shots and the howling snowstorm kills their flames and we see TENS OF THOUSANDS OF ZOMBIES CHEW THROUGH THE UNSULLIED ARMY GETTING CLOSER AND CLOSER TO THE CASTLE AND MAKING GREY WORM SACRIFICING THEM BE ALL FOR NOTHING



and he takes his helmet off as Davos yells down to his men to light the trenches but as they grab torches and try to run out zombies get to the and kill them and Grey Worm sees the soldiers being taken out like it's nothing and he looks through the chaos at the Red Lady watching all this, his friend Jorah fighting, Tormund going ham with his axe, keeping the few zombies that can get through away from the front gate, and a square formation of Unsullied form up and make their way out of the front gates to defend it and The Hound and Jorah and Beric all fight to keep the zombies getting over the defences away from the Unsullied formation and the Unsullied open up their formation... to let out the Red Lady... who walks up to the trench... and puts her hand on the first post of it... and closes her eyes and starts praying... and Jorah and the Unsullied try to guard her as zombies have managed to get through to the final formation of Unsullied on the other side of the trench and the Red Lady opens her eyes and watches them killing closer and closer to her as she starts saying fucking Elon Musk again and The Hound looks around scared as he gets the picture as to whats happening but keeps hacking away and the Red Lady struggles to focus on her spell as Beric, who has a fucking flaming sword right there lmao fucking light it yourself dickhead, covers her, and the zombies start to get through the Unsullied and are flailing around screeching all around her... and she starts yelling her spells/prayers as even the Unsullied guarding her are struggling to keep the dead away from them and she gives one last Elon Musk as



THE RED LADY CASTS HER PRYOMANCY SPELL SETTING THE ENTIRE TRENCH ALIGHT, IMMOLATING THE ZOMBIE LUNGING AT HER AND CUTTING OFF THE REST OF THE UNDEAD ARMY



AND IGNITING AN UNMISSABLE SIGNAL TO GUIDE DANY OUT OF THE SNOWSTORM



AND FUCKING BRAINLET JON WHO WAS LIKE ONE INCH AWAY FROM THE TRENCH ONTOP OF A DRAGON DIDN'T THINK TO GET IT TO LIGHT IT HIMSELF, NICE WORK RETARD



AND DROGON GETS FREE OF THE SNOWSTORM AND STARTS BLASTING THE ARMY APART AGAIN



AND THE RED LADY'S EYES FILL WITH HOLY FIRE AS ALLAH SAVES THEM, TAKBIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIR!!!



and Jorah and Beric watch as the few Unsullied left fall back inside the castle and The Hound struggles not to panic from the fire but he looks over the flames to see... the army of the dead... are simply standing there staring back at him... and he rushes back inside with Beric yells "Clegane!" but he's long gone



and in the crypt Varys looks around at all the terrified civvies and quips to Gilly "at least we're already in a crypt..." and Tyrion worries "if we were up there we might see something everyone else is missing... something that makes a difference" and Varys sighs but Tyrion snaps "what? remember at Blackwater I brought us through the Mud Gate" and Varys reminds him "and got your face cut in half" but Tyrion is sure "it made a difference, if I was out there right now-" but Sansa cuts him off "you'd die, there's nothing you could do" perfectly understanding her own physically weak nature in this world of might makes right but Tyrion throws his wine down saying "you might be surprised as the lengths I'd go to avoid joining the Army of the Dead, I could think of no organization less suited to my talents" as he... gets another flask of wine lmao, but Sansa points out "witty remarks wont make a difference, that's why we're down here: none of us can do anything, it's the truth, it's the most heroic thing we can do now... look the truth in the face" and Tyrion cant say anything back to that but quips "maybe we should have stayed married" and Sansa assures him "you were the best of them" and Tyrion just goes "what a terrifying thought!" knowing his family but she points out "it wouldn't work out between us" and he asks "why not?" and she points out "The Dragon Queen, your divided loyalties would become a problem" and Missy snaps "yes, without the Dragon Queen it'd be no problem at all... we'd all be dead already" (well actually Dany has done nothing to help and in fact made the situation twice as worse by giving the Night King a dragon but ok thot) and storms off in a huff

and outside in the freezing snow the men are all shaking half from the cold half from the fear as they guard Theon and Bran who tells his former captive "they lit the trench" to no reply and he goes up and asks "Bran? I just want you to know... I wish-... the things I did-" but Bran shares some dank fucking wisdom "everything you did brought you where you are now... where you belong... home" and Theon doesn't cringe, he doesn't cry, he doesn't even look away, he just looks Bran... his little brother... in the eyes and smiles knowing all his mistakes and all his suffering both don't matter but simultaneously were worth it as he can finally let go of his past and belong in the present, but after only a moment of belonging Bran says "I'm going to go now..." and stares off as Theon asks "go where?"



but BRAN'S EYES GO WHITE AS HE WARGS INTO A MURDER OF CROWS that take flight out of a dead tree and fly towards the flaming line, flying through a huge gout of flame Drogon lays down into the army



over Winterfell, over where his body is, through the snowstorm... and past... a dragons wing... and they circle around... to find... THE NIGHT KING ON TOP OF HIS ZOMBIE BLUE EYES WHITE DRAGON and he holds out his hand to commune with his zombie army



who are standing there by the fire as Drogon flies about erasing hundreds of them but he orders one at the front to walk forwards... into the fire... and he orders another... and another... and Davos and Arya look down from the wall as zombies just gradually destroy themselves and he's like wtf but then he notices... the bodies are starting to stack up... so the other zombies can walk across them... which makes no sense since their clothes and bodies would be flamable as we've seen from Jon just throwing a lantern at one to set it alight but ok... and Davos warns "man the walls!" as THE ZOMBIES FLOOD OVER A BRIDGE OF THEIR OWN KINDS CORPSES AND LADY MORMONT SCREAMS "MAN THE WALLS" AND JAIME BRICKS IT AND ORDERS EVERYONE UP THE STAIRS AS ARCHERS START LAYING DOWN FIRE ON THE ZOMBIES FLOODING ACROSS THE WEAKPOINTS



AND JON, STILL SITTING ON THE WALL ON HIS DRAGON, LOOKS UP INTO THE SNOWSTORM TO SEE... ZOMBIE VISERION...



WITH THE NIGHT KING GLARING DOWN AT HIM WITH HIS BRIGHT BLUE EYES... WHO RIDES HIM OFF INTO THE NIGHT WITH JON TAKING OFF TO GIVE CHASE



AND THE ZOMBIES START PILING INTO THE WINTERFELL CASTLES WALL AND STACKING UP AGAINST EACH OTHER LIKE SOME WORLD WAR Z SHIT TO CLIMB UP AND DAVOS YELLS "THEY'RE AGAINST THE WALL" AS THE ARCHERS STRUGGLE TO FIRE AS FAST AS THEY CAN SETTING THE ZOMBIES ON FIRE WITH THEIR FLAMING ARROWS AND BRIE AND JAIME STRUGGLE TO GET THEIR MEN ON THE WALL AND ORDERS THEM TO RELIEVE THE ARCHERS AND TAKE OVER FIRING AND JORAH BRINGS MORE MEN UP AND GREY WORM POPS HIS HELMET BACK ON AS THE SNOWSTORM IS REACHING THE CASTLE AND JORAH SEES THE ZOMBIES START TO PILE UP ON TOP OF EACH OTHER ON THE WALL, THROW SOME FUCKING BURNING OIL OR SOME SHIT DOWN ON THEM LIKE YOU DO IN REAL SIEGES YA NUMPTIES!



AND TORMUND LOOKS AROUND TO SEE HE'S WITH FUCKING GENDRY AND JAIME ORDERS "DRAW!" AND ALL THE ARCHERS GET READY AND GENDRY STARTS CONTROLLING HIS BREATHING AS HE WATCHES THE ZOMBIES PILE UP AND SMASHES ONE OF THEIR HEADS IN AND JAIME SKEWERS ANOTHER OFF AND SCREAMS "COME OOOON!" AND THE MEN START HACKING FURIOUSLY AT THE ZOMBIES AND SKELETONS TRYING TO SCALE THE WALL WITH EVEN SAM KEEPING THEM BACK BUT THE NPC CHARACTERS START TO GET OVERPOWERED AND A MIXTURE OF ASH AND SNOW IS EVERYWHERE OBSCURING EVERYONE'S VISION LETTING THE ZOMBIES GET AROUND THEM BUT JAIME FIGHTS THEM FROM ALL ANGLES AND ONE ZOMBIE PULLS A SOLDIER OVER THE WALL INTO A MASS OF THOUSANDS OF UNDEAD THAT ENGULF HIM



AND JORAH LOOKS OVER TO SEE JAIME BEING OVERPOWERED BUT BRIE STARTS CLEAVING HER MASSIVE SWORD THROUGH THREE ZOMBIES AT A TIME TO GET TO HIM AND HACKS THEM OFF AND THEY BOTH GO BACK TO BACK LIKE SOME WOLVERINE ORIGINS SHIT SLICING THROUGH THE CORPSES SWARMING THEM WITH THEIR VALYRIAN STEEL SWORDS OATHKEEPER AND WIDOW'S WAIL BOTH MADE FROM NED STARK'S SWORD DEFENDING HIS CASTLE FOR THE FINAL TIME AND JAIME SCREAMS "LOOK OUT!" AND COVERING ONE TRYING TO BITE HER BEHIND HER AND SHE RUNS THROUGH ANOTHER TRYING TO SCALE THE WALL



AND SAM IS FREAKING OUT IN PURE TERROR BUT ONE JUMPS ON TOP OF HIM AND STARTS BITING HIM AND ANOTHER GETS HIM FROM BEHIND SO JORAH STABS THEM OFF SAVING THE MAN WHO SAVED HIM BUT THEY SEE THEM PUSHING BACK AN UNSULLIED AND BARGING THROUGH THE RAILING DOWN INTO THE CASTLE AND SLAUGHTERING THE SOLDIERS BELOW AND TWO RANDOM GUYS HIDE BEHIND THE TANK TRAP THINGS COVERED IN DRAGONGLASS THAT THE ZOMBIES THROW THEMSELVES ON LIKE RETARDS AND BERIC SAWS HIS WAY THROUGH THE CROWD OF ZOMBIES TO TRY AND HELP THEM WITH HIS FLAMING ARROWS AS ARCHERS ON THE OTHER WALLS KEEP UNLOADING ON THE ZOMBIES OUTSIDE BUT THEIR RAILINGS GET OVERWHELMED TOO AND THEY FLOOD IN FROM ANOTHER ANGLE AND THE HOUND'S FIRE PTSD IS BEING TRIGGERED AS HE HUGS A WALL AS FIRE RAINS DOWN AROUND HIM EVERYWHERE, AH THAT'S WHAT GOT HIM SO SHOOK AT BLACKWATER BAY I ONLY JUST REALIZED LMAO IM DUMB, AND HE'S SHAKING LIKE A LEAF AS BURNING EMBERS AND FLAMING ARROWS FLY EVERYWHERE



AND THE ZOMBIES START CLOSING IN AROUND HIM KILLING MEN LEFT AND RIGHT AND IT SEEMS HE'S DONE FOR BUT... A ZOMBIES GETS DECAPITATED AS ARYA STARTS OPERATING LIKE A MAD CUNT WITH GENDRY'S SPEAR



TWIRLING IT AROUND LIKE THE BO STAFF SHE TRAINED WITH SCREAMING AS SHE SKEWERS TWO AT A TIME AND SHE TRIGGERS HER SPECIAL ABILITY AND DETACHES THE HEAD TRANSFORMING HER WEAPON INTO A SHORT SWORD AND A BATON TO FIGHT MULTIPLE ZOMBIES AT ONCE WITH



AND BERIC IS SURROUNDED AND CALLS FOR "CLEGANE! CLEGANE!" BUT HOMEBOYS AFK AND ARYA KEEPS SAWING THROUGH ZOMBIE AFTER ZOMBIE AFTER ZOMBIE AFTER ZOMBIE AND DAVOS WATCHES IN WONDER AS HE TAKES OUT EIGHT IN A FEW SECONDS



BUT MORE COME SWARMING IN OVER THE WALLS AND LADY MORMONT LOOKS AROUND AT HER MEN FIGHTING FOR THEIR LIVES AND HERS ALL AROUND HER WHEN SUDDENLY... A ZOMBIE GIANT SMASHES IN THROUGH THE MAIN DOOR AND SLAPS HER OUT THE WAY!!!



AND ARYA IS SURROUNDED FROM BOTH SIDES TRAPPED IN A STAIRWAY SO SHE SIMPLY THROWS HERSELF OVER THE GROUP OF ZOMBIES ON THE STAIRS AND CROWDSURFS THEM DOWN LMAO AND ONE STARTS SWINGING AT HER AND SHE DODGES BUT IT MANAGES TO SLAM HER INTO THE DOORFRAME SHE TRIES TO EXIT AND HIS UNDEAD MATES FLOOD OUT AFTER HER AND ON THE GROUND LADY MORMONT IS BATTERED AND BRUISED ON THE FLOOR AS HER MEN THROW THEMSELVES IN THE GIANTS WAY TO PROTECT THEIR LADY BUT IT JUST EFFORTLESSLY SMASHES THEM OUT THE WAY WITH ITS CLUB AND SHE STRUGGLES TO GET UP BUT SHES TOO FUCKED UP AND THE GIANT KICKS ITS WAY THROUGH THE BRACADES SMASHING MEN AWAY AND BERIC SCREAMS "CLEGANE! CLEGANE WE NEED YOU! YOU CAN'T GIVE UP ON US!" AND THE HOUND SNARLS "FUCK OFF!!! WE CAN'T BEAT THEM! DON'T YOU SEE THAT YOU STUPID WHORE! WE'RE FIGHTING DEATH! THEY CAN'T BEAT DEATH"



AND BERIC BITES HIS TONGUE FROM REMINDING HIM THAT HE FUCKING DID LIKE 7 TIMES LMAO AND LOOKS UP TO SEE ARYA JUMPING OFF THE RAMPARTS AND ROLLING AWAY AS ZOMBIES RAIN DOWN AROUND HER AND BERIC TELLS HIM "TELL HER THAT!"



AND THE HOUND SEES ARYA BEING CHASED INSIDE THE CASTLE BY A SWARM OF UNDEAD SO HE GOES "RUUUAAGGHHH" AND RUSHES AFTER HER AND LADY MORMONT SEES THE GIANT ANNIHILATING HER PEOPLE SO SHE RAISES HER WEAPON AND SCREAMS "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA" AND RUSHES HIM



AND IT SIMPLY PICKS UP THIS LITTLE 10 YEAR OLD GIRL AND STARTS SLOWLY CRUSHING HER IN HER ARMOR



AND BRINGS HER CLOSE TO IT'S ONE UNHOLY GLOWING BLUE EYE TO WATCH THE LIFE BEING SQUEEZED OUT OF HER...



AND LADY MORMONT RAMS HER DRAGONGLASS DAGGER THROUGH IT'S EYE INTO IT'S BRAIN!!! AND IT GOES REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE AND FALLS TO ITS KNEES WITH IT'S SKELETON COLLAPSING OUT OF IT'S SKIN AND IT'S SKULL ROLLING OFF!!! GET FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCKED!!!



LMAO SHE DID TORMUNDS FAKE STORY OF KILLING A GIANT AT AGE 10 BUT FOR REAL!!! BUT THE OTHER ZOMBIES SIMPLY SWARM OVER HER CORPSE AS SHE'S ALREADY DEAD AND THE CAMERA PANS UP TO SHOW THE COURTYARD COMPLETELY OVERRUN



AS WE GO INTO THE SNOWSTORM TO SEE THE NIGHT KING FLYING UP INTO THE SKY... WITH DANY AND DROGON IN HOT PURSUIT! AND SHE CHASES HIM SO HIGH UP THEY BREACH THE TOP OF THE SNOWSTORM INTO THE NIGHT'S SKY ILLUMINATED BY THE MOONLIGHT and she finds Jon riding the other dragon up there with both their beasts flapping extra hard to stay stationary up in such thin air as they look around for their enemy but then



FROM INSIDE THE STORM UNDER THEM A BLAST OF BLUE FIRE SHOOTS UP AND RHAEGAL DODGES OUT THE WAY JUST IN TIME TO SAVE JON BUT GETS HIS WING HIT



AND THE ZOMBIE DRAGON SHOOTS OUT SUPER FAST AFTER DROGON WHO TAKES OFF AS QUICK AS HE CAN TRYING TO KEEP HIS MOTHER OUT FROM THE BLUE FLAMES BLOWING AFTER THEM HOLY FUCK IT'S A FUCKING DRAGON JETFIGHTER DOGFIGHT!!!



AND HIS UNDEAD BROTHER IS JUST SPAMMING THE FUCK OUT OF HIS OP BLUE FLAMES AS JON TRIES TO RIGHT RHAEGAL WHO'S SPINNING OUT DOWN THROUGH THE STORM AND DROGON STARTS TAKING EVASIVE MANOEUVRES TWISTING AND TWIRLING IN THE AIR TO WEAVE OUT THE WAY OF THE SCORCHING HELLFIRE



SO THE NIGHT KING LEADS HIS DRAGON PLUMMETING DOWN WITH ITS WINGS FOLDED UP STRAIGHT INTO THE STORM BUT RHAEGAL MANAGES TO RIGHT HIMSELF AND LEADS JON ABOVE IT BACK TO HIS BROTHER AND MOTHER AND THEY HOVER IN THE AIR AGAIN AS THE HUMANS LOOK WORRIED AT EACH OTHER NOT KNOWING IF THEY'LL SURVIVE THIS BUT JON LEADS RHAEGAL DOWN BACK INTO THE STORM AND DROGON FOLLOWS OH FUCK



and inside the castle Arya is sneaking around making sure there's no zombies down there and grabs a dragonglass weapon and creeps down the hall to a doorway and slowly reaches out to open it and walks into a dark room and steels herself before looks around the corner and hiding behind a book shelf but she hears scraping on the other side of the room and sees a human figure walking around and moving shit so she goes and hides behind another bookshelf but then hears another zombie coming down the stairs and another scraping its sword along the hallway, surrounding her... so she uses her stealth training to sneak from bookcase to bookcase avoiding the zombies wandering around in there and when she reaches the last one in the room she looks around to see a zombie coming her way so has to backtrack but as she's going or the door there's one in there and one walks right by her as she hides getting even more surrounded so she darts under a table but then hears dripping coming from above her as something's been killed on top of it and she sees an ajar door to make her escape from but a zombies foot steps right in front of her and it just stands there so she waits but it bends down to check under the table but when it does she's already gone as Arya slips back behind a bookshelf and the zombie croaks in confusion and Arya grabs a book and tosses it down the hallway literally like some Hitman™ shit so all the zombies rush to the sound and as the dozen or so milling about the room all go to one corner she tries to slip out the other but A ZOMBIE CATCHES HER AND SHE INSTANTLY STABS IT IN THE THROAT BEFORE IT CAN MAKE A SOUND again just like Hitman™ lmao you sneak around and then some random guard comes out of nowhere so you have to go fuck it yolo and shank them, wait so what are these fucking zombies even doing in here lmao? looking for the right book to check out the library?



and she catches it's body and lays it down carefully and walks quietly out the door and sloooowly closes it trying to be silent sealing the other zombies inside but then she hears snarling in the distance and she turns around realizing it's coming from the door she just locked but then THE DOOR BESIDE HER BURSTS OPEN WITH A FLOOD OF ZOMBIES AND SO DOES THE ONE SHE LOCKED AND SHE LEGS IT THROUGH THE HALLWAY WITH DOZENS OF THE UNDEAD SMASHING THROUGH THE CORRIDORS BEHIND HER COMING OUT OF EVERY DOOR SHE PASSES

and in the crypt they can hear the undead are inside the castle now and they look up as the snarling gets closer and closer and louder and louder and all the civilians look terrified and the brave little girl steels herself to at least be the first to die and Varys looks up concerned and Tyrion takes a sip of wine but there's a huge THUMP and everyone gasps as they hear humans screaming and then... soldiers screaming outside the crypt door, begging to be let in, screaming "open the door! open the door!" and Sansa stands up and just waits for the screaming to end as the men beg "please! help! open the door!" but it goes quiet... as there was nothing to save them...

and inside th castle The Hound with his battle axe and Beric creep through the darkness with only his sword illuminating the way as they slowly take corners by cutting ye old pie not wanting to be ambushed and they hear banging around them but then loads of snarling one way so go towards it but then they hear running and suddenly A DOOR BURSTS OPEN WITH ARYA BEING SLAMMED THROUGH IT BY A ZOMBIE ONTOP OF HER AND SHE SCREAMS AS IT'S ABOUT TO TEAR HER FACE OFF SO BERIC THROWS HIS FLAMING SWORD AT IT PINNING IT AGAINST THE GROUND



AND HE RUSHES TO DRAG HER UP AS THE HOUND HACKS ZOMBIES AWAY AND ONE BITES BERICS ANKLE SO HE PUSHES ARYA TO RUN AWAY AND KICKS IT OFF BUT HIS FOOTS FUCKED AND HE LIMPS AS FAST AS HE CAN AWAY FROM THE UNDEAD AND THE HOUND GRABS HER SAYING "COME ON!" AND BERIC YELLS AT ARYA "RUN!" AS A ZOMBIE STABS HIM IN THE GUT BUT HE SHOVES IT AWAY AND KEEPS RUNNING AND THE HOUND SNARLS AS HE CHOPS A ZOMBIES HEAD OFF AND ARYA HELPS BERIC FOLLOW BUT ZOMBIES APPEAR IN THE DOORWAY IN FRONT OF THEM SO BERIC THROWS HIMSELF SNARLING INTO THEM SMASHING IT'S HEAD AGAINST THE WALL BUT ANOTHER DIVES INTO HIM AND STARTS STABBING HIM IN THE CHEST SO ARYA GRABS A HANDAXE ON THE GROUND AND THE HOUND SEES THE HALLWAY IN FRONT OF HIM FLOODING WITH ZOMBIES SO RUNS BACK TO THE OTHER TWO AS ARYA TRIES TO HACK THE ZOMBIES OFF BERIC BUT THE HOUND GRABS HER SCREAMING "WE'VE GOTTA GO!" AND BERIC STRUGGLES TO FOLLOW BUT A ZOMBIE STABS HIM IN THE BACK, AND HE GRABS BOTH SIDES OF THE WALL TO TRY TO STAY STANDING FOR MUH JESUS IMAGERY



BUT THEY JUST KEEP STABBING HIM, AND HE LUNGES FORWARD MANAGING TO STAY ON HIS FEET AND WITH ALL HIS STRENGTH LIMPS THROUGH THE DOOR AFTER ARYA JUST AS THE HOUND SLAMS IT SHUT AND SHE LOCKS IT AND COLLAPSES ON THE GROUND and Arya pulls him up onto the wall as The Hound rushes to barricade it and Beric tries to speak but his lungs are punctured so only air gasps out and he dies with Arya holding him...



and from behind her... the Red Lady says "The Lord brought him back for a purpose" and she turns to see her saying "now that purpose has been served" and The Hound looks down to see his only friend dead as Arya says "I know you" and the Red Lady steps forward and says "and I know you" and Arya remembers "you said we'd meet again" and she tells her "and here we are, at the end of the world" and Arya remembers "you said I'd shut many eyes forever... you were right about that too" and the Red Lady reminds her what she said "brown eyes, green eyes... and blue eyes" (nice callback but I seriously doubt that was intended and not a happy coincidence lmao, unlike the Hodor reveal which I presume GRRM came up with and will be in the books) and Arya understands she forsaw her fighting against the White Walker army on this day and the three of them get ready as the door starts to give under the weight of the dozens of zombies piling up behind it and as the three of them steel themselves all three 100% ready to die the Red Lady, sorry the Red Woman I guess I've been calling her the wrong name the entire show lmao woops asks Arya "what do we saw to the God of Death?" who I guess really is the bad guy in her religion and the camera zooms in on Arya who answers "not today" and she looks at the Red Lady and they just nod in respect to each other...... but Arya gets an idea and runs off lmao ok I thought her and The Hound were gonna co-op mode all the zombies like absolute mad cunts and the Red Woman was gonna start spraying fire out her hands or something but Arya just legs it out the other door uhhhh ok



and outside with Bran still warging (not sure what the fuck he is doing, just watching from the crows? I'm expecting him to at least duel the Night King on the psychic plane or some shit to try and control his army instead of him or something actually useful) Theon and his men look around hearing snarling in the distance and he yells "here they come! steady lads! steady now!" as he and his men light their arrows from a flaming bin and they see human figures rushing around in the darkness and he tells them "make every shot count" as the figures get closer... and closer... until DOZENS OF ZOMBIES RUSH THE ARCHERS AND THEON ALL AT ONCE WHO OPEN FIRE TO DEFEND BRAN

and we cut to a big shot of the lines of flames sawed into the ground by the dragons with the fucking probably hundreds of thousands strong undead army still filling up the field and the flaming moat surrounding Winterfell... and the Night King flies down ontop of the undead Viserion



AND HE UNLEASHES HIS BLUE FLAME INSTANTLY DESTROYING ONE OF THE CASTLES TOWERS FRYING ALL THE HUMANS INSIDE IT!



BUT RHAEGAL SLAMS INTO HIS UNDEAD BROTHER AND THE TWO TEAR AND PULL AT EACH OTHER WITH THEIR MASSIVE CLAWS WHILE SOARING AROUND EACH OTHER AND IN THE GARDEN THEON PUTS A FLAMING ARROW IN A ZOMBIE WITH HIS MEN COVERING HIM AND THEY LOOK UP TO SEE THE DRAGONFIGHT ABOVE THEM



AS THE TWO TWIN MONSTERS WRESTLE EACH OTHER IN A WHIRLING FURY OF LEGS WINGS AND NECKS AS ZOMBIE VISERION BITES AT RHAEGAL'S LEG BUT HE TEARS A CHUNK OUT OF THE ZOMBIES BELLY BACK WITH HIS FOOT AND JON CLINGS FOR DEAR LIFE AS THE TWO BEASTS RIP AND SLASH CHUNKS OF FLESH OUT OF EACH OTHER BUT THE NIGHT KING'S MOUNT IS ANIMATED BY HIS DARK MAGIC AND RHAEGAL CAN'T SUSTAIN AS MANY INJURIES AND STARTS LOSING TATTERS OF WING AND GETS HIS NECK CAUGHT IN HIS DEAD BROTHERS JAWS AND THE NIGHT KING GETS AN ICE SPEAR READY AS RHAEGAL BITES BACK TEARING A JUNK OF HIS DECAYING BROTHERS FACE OFF



MAKING A GOUT OF BLUE FLAME SQUIRT OUT THE SIDE AS HIS FIRE BREATHING SYSTEM IS DAMAGED AND THE ZOMBIE DRAGON REACHES AROUND TO SNAP AT JON ON RHAEGAL'S BACK BUT WHEN HE TRIES TO SHOOT FLAMES AT HIM IT JUST PUFFS OUT THE SIDE



AND HIS UNDEAD BROTHER HAS JON'S MOUNT IN A FUCKING MMA HOLD AS IT TRIES TO EAT JON AND THEIR WINGS FLAIL AROUND FAILING TO KEEP THEM AIRBORN AS RHAEGAL GETS CLAWS SUNK INTO HIS CHEST AND JUST AS JON'S ABOUT TO GET EATEN...



DROGON ROARS OUT OF THE STORM, GRABS HIS ZOMBIE BROTHER WITH BOTH FEET AND TEARS HIM OFF OF HIS LIVING BROTHER



SENDING THE NIGHT KING HURTLING OFF OF HIS BLUE EYES WHITE DRAGON MOUNT AND PLUMMETING DOWN THROUGH THE STORM



AND DROGON BITES INTO THE UNDEAD DRAGONS THROAT GETTING IT ALL IN HIS MOUTH AS HE'S BY FAR THE LARGEST OF HIS BROTHERS



AND RHAEGAL CRASH LANDS IN THE SNOW TRYING TO STEADY HIMSELF WITH HIS LEGS BUT JUST SLAMS INTO HIS BELLY WITH HIS WINGS TOO HURT TO STEADY HIMSELF AND JON GOES FLYING OFF AS RHAEGAL SKIDS ALONG THE GROUND



and in the court yard Tormund and Gendry are fending off the undead that are managing to get over what's left of the barricades as the piles of corpses from both sides pile up with the few remaining human soldiers falling to zombies and adding to the pile and we see Jorah pushing a corpse off his sword and looking up and around as he realizes something's up and in the sky we see Dany on top of Drogon who starts lowering himself and she looks down to see... THE NIGHT KING just standing there emotionlessly staring up at her



so Dany simply says "DRACARYS" AND DROGON UNLEASHES HIS FULL POWER BLASTING THE NIGHT KING THAT KILLED HIS BROTHER WITH EVERYTHING HE'S GOT TURNING HIM AND THE GROUND ALL AROUND HIM INTO AN SUPERNOVA AS HEROIC MUSIC SWELLS AND JON STAGGERS THROUGH THE FIELD OF CORPSES TO WATCH THE FIREBALL GROW SO BIG IT FORMS A MUSHROOM CLOUD



and Drogon lets off and snarls and screeches in victory as Jon watches the flames keep roaring and Dany peers down into it trying to see.. THE NIGHT KING IS JUST STANDING THERE IN THE INFERNO, COMPLETELY UNHARMED, AND LOOKS UP AT DANY.... AND HE SMILES!!!!!



AND HE PICKS UP HIS JAVELIN AND DROGON FUCKING BRICKS IT REMEMBERING WHAT THE LAST ONE DID TO HIS BROTHER AND FLIES OFF AS FAST AS HE CAN BARELY DODGING OUT THE WAY TO KEEP THE JAVELIN FROM HITTING HIS MOTHER lucky NK that he happened to land right next to his javelin lmao, alright so hang on if the White Walkers are vulnerable to dragonglass because it was forged by dragon fire why didn't that kill him... or does he get a special buff to dragonglass? was he a Targ when he was a human or something? and the Night King simply starts walking through the absolute carnage all around him towards Winterfell castle as if he's in an only mild hurry now and Jon unsheathes Longclaw, Valaryan steel that can maybe hurt this guy, and takes off running after him... but the Night King senses him... and he stops... and he turns his neck with the crack of breaking ice to listen... and Jon stops as he sees evil incarnate standing amongst the flaming piles of corpses... and he sees him turn back to look... and turn his body to face him... and there's this metal clanging sound in the soundtrack like from the Terminator 1 score... AND THE NIGHT KING TRIGGERS HIS ULTIMATE AND STARTS RAISING HIS HANDS, TO REANIMATE THE SEA OF CORPSES HE'S STANDING IN AND JON REALIZES THIS IS HIS ONLY CHANCE SO RUSHES AT HIM AS FAST AS HE CAN BEFORE HE CAN COMPLETE HIS SUMMONING... AND THE DEAD EYES OF THE UNSULLIED SOLDIERS START TO POP OPEN... AND THE BODIES OF HIS FELLOW FALLEN NORTHMEN START TO SIT UP...



AND JON RUNS THROUGH THEM BUT BEFORE HE CAN GET TO THE NIGHT KING THE DEAD STAND UP SURROUNDING HIM... HUNDREDS OF THEM... THOUSANDS OF THEM... HE'S NOW THE POOR LITTLE LIVING BOY IN THE ZOMBIE HOOD



and inside Jaime is still fighting on the ramparts and looks out to see... all the men he's lost... all the men loyal to the Starks that died... all the Glover soldiers that died... all the Mormont soldiers that died... all the Karstark soldiers that died... all the Umber soldiers that died... all the Knights of the Vale that died... every single fighting man and woman in the North that died... all the Wildlings that died... all the Unsullied that died... all the Dothraki that died... ALL THE FALLEN HUMANS START TO REANIMATE ALL AROUND THEM



and Sam and Grey Worm... Tormund and Gendry... are all surrounded... and even Lady Mormont's eyes crack open now bright blue...



and Edd's eyes open bright blue too... and the Night King stares straight at Jon... and simply walks away... as his undead minions close in around him... and inside the fresh undead army stand there awaiting their masters... a squad of White Walkers casually marching straight in the front door...



and inside the crypt Gilly looks around to see... oh you've got to be shitting me... they didn't clear out the... oh my god... THE ANCIENT DESICCATED REMAINS OF THE STARK ANCESTORS START REANIMATING IN THE FAMILY CRYPT that somehow break their way out of solid stone graves lul and everyone looks around as they start slithering out of what was supposed to be their final resting places, and babies start crying in terror, and Varys sees skeleton hands start to burst out of the stone crypts all around them, oh my god are we gonna see a zombie Ned lmao, AND THE CROWD OF CIVVIES START SCREAMING IN TERROR AND TRYING TO FLEE AS TYRION SCREAMS "COME ON! COME ON!" AND THE SKELETONS GRAB A WOMAN AND PULL HER AWAY



AND IN THE GARDEN WE SEE THEON AND HIS MEN DROPPING ZOMBIES LEFT AND RIGHT BUT THEY KEEP COMING AND COMING AND THEON STARTS FIRING HIS FLAMING ARROWS OUT OF THE FIRE BIN AT AN ALMOST AUTOMATIC RATE COVERING EVERY ANGLE AS THEY DASH TOWARDS BRAN



AND OUTSIDE JON IS GOING HAM FIGHTING BACK THE ENTIRE ARMY OF FALLEN FIGHTERS ON THE BATTLEFIELD AND JUST AS THEY'RE ABOUT TO OVERWHELM HIM... THEY EXPLODE IN A MASSIVE FIREBALL AND HE LOOKS UP TO SEE DANY AND DROGON COVERING HIM!!! AND DROGON CLEAVES A BURNING PATH THROUGH THE ARMY IN FRONT OF JON



AND CRASHES DOWN BEHIND HIM BUT JONS ONLY CONCERN IS "BRAN!" AND DANY SCREAMS "GO!" AND HE RUNS OFF THROUGH THE FLAMES, GET ON THE FUCKING DRAGON YOU FUCKING IDIOT!!! AS DANY WATCHES AND DROGON SMASHES ZOMBIES RUNNING UP ON HIM WITH HIS MASSIVE TAIL BUT OUT FROM THE SMOKE AND SNOW COMES THE ENTIRE ARMY THAT ALL DOGPILE ONTO DROGON AND HE FLAILS AROUND BEING COVERED IN BITING UNDEAD AND HE SCREECHES IN PAIN ROARING AT THE CROWD BUT IT'S TO NO EFFECT



AND DANY TRIES SO STAY ON AS THE ZOMBIES START STABBING INTO DROGON AND HE STAMPS AROUND TRYING TO SHAKE THEM OFF BUT THEY CLING ON LIKE SPIDERS SWARMING HIM AND THEY START GETTING AT DANY WHO ROLLS OFF ONTO THE SNOW AND DROGON'S BLEEDING SO HE STRUGGLES TO JUMP UP AND WITH ALL HIS MIGHT TAKE OFF FLYING INTO THE AIR WHILE COATED WITH A HUNDRED ZOMBIES HE FLAPS HIS WINGS AS HARD AS HE CAN TO THROW OFF



AND DANY SITS THERE AS IT STARTS RAINING CORPSES ALL AROUND HER... BUT MOST SURVIVE AND POP THEIR EYES OPEN AND START COMING AT HER AND SHE STRUGGLES BACK AS ONE GETS TO ITS FEET AND RUSHES HER BUT... IT GETS THE TOP HALF OF IT'S HEAD SLICED OFF!!!



BY JORAH!!! LEAVE M'LADY BE VILE UNDEAD CHAD!!!



AND JON FIGHTS HIS WAY THROUGH THE ZOMBIES IN THE COURTYARD AS THE UNDEAD LITERALLY RAIN DOWN BEHIND HIM OFF THE CASTLES WALLS



AND LOOKS UP TO SEE GENDRY ALMOST UP TO HIS KNEES IN DEAD SMASHING THEM WITH HIS HAMMER AND TORMUND STANDING ON A PLATFORM TAKING ON DOZENS AT A TIME GIVING JON A WIDE EYED CRAZED LOOK HAVING THE ADRENALIN RUSH OF A LIFETIME



AND JON LOOKS DOWN TO SEE SAM SQUEALING "AAH! DIE!" AS HE PINS A ZOMBIE DOWN WITH HIS MASSIVE WEIGHT AND STABS IT IN THE CHEST OVER AND OVER AGAIN HOLY SHIT, IS THAT ZOMBIE SCREAMING IN PAIN LMAO? AND JON CLEAVES THROUGH A ZOMBIE AND HEARS SAM SCREAMING IN TERROR AS THE ZOMBIES CLOSE IN AROUND HIM BUT THERE'S NO TIME AND HE HAS TO KEEP GOING



AND HE CLEAVES A PATH THROUGH THE WALL OF THE UNDEAD SEEING GREY WORM TWIRLING HIS SPEAR AND SHIELD AROUND IN PERFECT FORMATION TAKING ON A DOZEN BY HIMSELF LIKE SOME 300 SPARTANS SHIT



AND THEN BRIE BACKED UP AGAINST A WALL YELLING IN HER TRADEMARK PRIMAL FURY AS SHE KEEPS A DOZEN AWAY FROM HER



AND JON SEES A FLOOD OF THE ZOMBIES COME OUT AT HIM SO RUSHES THE OTHER WAY SLASHING THROUGH THE DEAD TO MAKE HIS WAY THROUGH A TUNNEL AND HE SEES A ZOMBIE STABBING A MAN TO DEATH SO CLEAVES IT IN HALF AND ANOTHER ZOMBIE DROPS DOWN FROM THE ROOF ABOVE AND HE PINS IT TO THE WALL AND SLICES ITS HEAD OFF AND THE WHOLE CEILING CAVES IN AROUND HIM AND HE SHOVES THE ZOMBIES BACK SLAMMING SHUT A METAL DOOR TO KEEP THE SWARM AT BAY



AND IN THE GARDEN THEON'S MEN START GETTING OVERRUN AND THEON'S RUN OUT OF ARROWS SO GOES FULL HAWKEYE AND STARTS CLUBBING THE ZOMBIES WITH HIS BOW BUT ONE TACKLES HIM AND HE CRAWLS AWAY AS HIS MEN ARE ALL EATEN TO DEATH AROUND HIM AND ANOTHER ZOMBIE RUSHES HIM BUT HE GRABS A SPEAR AND RAMS IT INTO HIS GUT AND GOES HAM WITH THE SPEAR KEEPING MORE AWAY FROM BRAN



AND OUTSIDE ON THE BATTLEFIELD JORAH IS ALL THAT'S STANDING BETWEEN THE ENTIRE UNDEAD ARMY AND HIS QUEEN AND EVEN DANY PICKS UP A DRAGONGLASS SWORD AND THEY STAND BACK TO BACK READY TO TAKE ON THE ENTIRE BATTLE'S WORTH OF DEAD



AND IN THE CRYPT MORE AND MORE CIVILIANS ARE BEING CAUGHT BY THE REANIMATED STARK ANCESTORS UNTIL THE WHOLE CRYPT IS FULL OF THE ECHOS OF SCREAMING AND SANSA AND TYRION ARE HIDING BEHIND ONE OF THE STATUES AND HE PEAKS OUT TRYING TO SEE AN OPENING AND SANSA TRIES TO CONTROL THEIR BREATHING BUT ITS HOPELESS... so Sansa takes her husbands hand... and these two completely different people from enemy Houses who were forced to marry in a sham... hold hands and look deep into each others eyes... and Tyrion kisses Sansas hand and smiles... and he takes a deep breath and rushes out of cover... this would be a pretty lazy romance to establish so close to the end since they can just cut to the end immediately since they're already married kek...



and in the court yard Jon struggles to get to the garden seeing the few human soldiers left and some super sad piano music starts up as ZOMBIE VISERION SMASHES INTO THE WALL INSTANTLY CRUSHING IT AND SPRAYS HIS MALFUNCTIONING BLUE FIRE BREATH WILDLY INTO THE COURTYARD FRYING THE FEW FOOTSOLDIERS LEFT AND JON RUNS BACK TO COVER AS BLUE HELLFIRE SWEEPS BEHIND HIM



AND IN THE COURTYARD BRIE, JAMIE AND PODRICK ARE FIGHTING THEIR HARDEST TO KEEP THE ZOMBIES BACK BUT THEY'RE UP AGAINST THE WALL BEING OVERWHELMED, TORMUND AND GENDRY ARE BEING PULLED OFF THE PLATFORM, EVEN GREY WORM HAS THE ZOMBIES TOO CLOSE TO USE HIS FIGHTING FORMATIONS PROPERLY



JORAH GETS GRABBED FROM BEHIND BUT DANY SAVES HIM BY CLEAVING INTO THE ZOMBIE WITH THE DRAGONGLASS SWORD AND HE KEEPS FIGHTING AS HARD AS HE CAN TO PROTECT HER BUT ONE STABS HIM IN THE BACK AND DANY STABS IT IN THE EYE COVERING HER MOST LOYAL MAN AS BEST SHE CAN AND SHE PULLS HIM TO HIS FEET AND THEY BOTH FIGHT FURIOUSLY



and all the civvies in the crypt are getting eaten as Tyrion leads Sansa over to Varys hiding in a corner protecting the brave little girl as he really does do right by children after all and Jon sneaks to check if the path is clear yet but the gate he locked bursts open spilling zombies out behind him so he just rushes out through the burning courtyard but ZOMBIE VISERION IS STILL FLAILING ABOUT CAUGHT IN THE COLLAPSED CASTLE AND JON HAS TO FIGHT HIS WAY THROUGH ZOMBIES AS THE MASSIVE UNDEAD DRAGON FLAILS AROUND COUGHING FIRE BEHIND HIM



AND JUST MANAGES TO GET BEHIND A WALL IN TIME AS IT SPEWS BLUE FLAMES AT HIM, AND THEON IS STILL OPERATING LIKE A MAD CUNT CLEAVING DOWN ZOMBIE AFTER ZOMBIE... BUT THE NIGHT KING AND HIS WHITE WALKERS WALK IN... AND OUTSIDE JORAH IS ON HIS KNEES STILL FIGHTING BUT THE UNDEAD PILE ON HIM, GENDRY AND TORMUND STRUGGLE TO STAY STANDING, JAIME AND PODRICK GET PINNED AGAINST THE WALL AND EVEN BRIE CAN'T KEEP THEM BACK



SAM IS JUST LAYING IN A PILE OF DEAD BODIES CRYING AS HE HELPLESSLY WATCHES HIS MEN BEING EATEN ALIVE AROUND HIM, AND THE NIGHT KING STRUTS TOWARDS THE GARDEN AS THEON FIGHTS WITH THE ENDURANCE ONLY A MAN WHO SURVIVED YEARS OF TORTURE CAN MUSTER SLICING THROUGH ZOMBIES AT EVERY ANGLE UNTIL HE'S KILLED DOZENS AND DOZENS OF THEM ALL AROUND BRAN'S WHEELCHAIR AND HE MANAGES TO STAY STANDING DESPITE HIS EXHAUSTION



AND HE LOOKS UP TO SEE... EVEN MORE ZOMBIES SURROUNDING HIM... JUST STANDING THERE... AND THEY PART... AND BRAN SNAPS OUT OF HIS WARG TO LOOK OVER WITH THEON TO SEE... THE NIGHT KING AND HIS WHITE WALKERS WATCHING THEM... AND THEON LOCKS EYES WITH THE NIGHT KING



but Bran calls out "Theon" and he looks over at the little boy who's life he saved 8 years ago, the little boy he betrayed 7 years ago, and the young man who forgave him only an hour ago... his eyes swelling with tears... as Bran tells him "you're a good man"... and Theon smiles... and Bran says "thank you" as he already knows what's going to happen to him... and Theon understands and as a tear rolls down his eye... turns back to face the devil himself... staring him right in the fucking eyes like not very many but Theon could manage...



as the Night King steps forward like 1v1 me cunt... and Theon... readies his dragonglass spear... THEON CHARGES THE NIGHT KING SCREAMING AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA



AND BRAN WATCHES AS THE HERO RUSHES AS FAST AS HE CAN BY THE ARMY OF THE DEAD STRAIGHT AT EVIL INCARNATE...



WHO SIMPLY SNAPS THE SPEAR AND RAMS THE BROKEN HANDLE THROUGH THEON INSTANTLY...



AND THEON LOOKS THE NIGHT KING IN THE EYE AS HE FALLS TO HIS KNEES... AND THE NIGHT KING JUST LOOKS UP AT BRAN AS THEON SLUMPS... AND BRAN LOOKS DOWN LIKE "STILL SAD EVEN THOUGH I GOT SPOILED ON IT"



AND IN THE COURTYARD JON HIDES AS ZOMBIE VISERION HAS AN ABSOLUTE TANTY FLAILING AROUND WITH HIS FACE MELTING AWAY FROM HIS FLAMMABLE GLANDS CATCHING FIRE AND AS A BEAM OF BLUE FIRE STRAFES ACROSS THE DOORWAY HE SEES HIS OPPORTUNITY AND RUNS OUT WITH ONLY SECONDS TO SPARE AS ZOMBIE VISERION BLASTS THE OTHER SIDE OF THE COURTYARD BUT HE'S NOT FAST ENOUGH AND THE GIANT UNDEAD DRAGON SPOTS HIM



AND UNLEASHES HIS HELLFIRE AND JON JUST MANAGES TO JUMP BEHIND A DESTROYED WALL WITH BLUE FLAMES SNATCHING AT HIM FROM ABOVE AND RED FLAMES LICKING AT HIM FROM BELOW PINNING HIM IN wait can't this dragon's fire like melt The Wall why can Jon take cover behind a tiny rock rofl ok sorry



AND IN THE GARDEN THEON GASPS AND WRITHES IN HIS DEATH THROWS ON THE GROUND AND LOOKS BACK UP AT THE NIGHT KING WHO GIVES HIM ONE LAST GLANCE BEFORE STARTING TOWARDS BRAN AND THEON TRIES TO MOVE BUT CANT AND GARGLES HIS LAST BREATH AND EXPIRES



AND IN THE BATTLEFIELD DANY STRUGGLES TO PULL JORAH TO HIS KNEES BUT A REANIMATED WILDLING STABS HIM IN THE CHEST SO DANY RAMS HER SWORD THROUGH HIS AND ANOTHER UNDEAD WILDLING RUSHES THEM BUT JORAH KNOWS HE'LL BE DEAD IN A FEW SECONDS SO JUST BLOCKS THE ZOMBIES BLADE WITH HIS OWN FUCKING FOREARM AND STABS IT IN THE HEAD WITH HIS SWORD AND KNEELS OVER HAEMORRHAGING TO DEATH ALL OVER THE GROUND BUT FORCES HIMSELF THROUGH THE DETERMINATION ONLY A MAN BETA ORBITING IN THE FRIENDZONE FOR 8 FUCKING YEARS COULD SUMMON TO PUSH HIMSELF UP WITH HIS SWORD BACK ONTO HIS FEET AND DANY HAS TO HOLD HIM UPRIGHT



AS THE NIGHT KING SLOWLY WALKS TOWARDS BRAN'S WHEELCHAIR WHO JUST SITS THERE THINKING... AND JON HEARS THE UNDEAD VISERION SCREECHING AT THE OTHER SIDE OF THE COURTYARD AND TRIES TO PULL HIMSELF UP... AS THE NIGHT KING GETS CLOSER AND CLOSER TO BRAN LOOKING AT THE CRIPPLED BOY EXPECTANTLY



who finally looks up at him.... and the two ancient enemies stare at each other in the eyes as if they've been doing this for thousands of years... and Bran realizes something... and gives a tiny tiny smile... and the Night King cocks his head as he's just realizing what means...



AND JON JUST STANDS UP AS UNDEAD VISERION BARES DOWN AT HIM AND SCREAMS "GOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! GO!! GOO!!!" INTO THIS UNHOLY MONSTERS RUINED FACE



AND IT LOOKS AT HIM LIKE "YA 'AVIN A FOOKIN GIGGLE M8?" WHAT THE FUCK IS HE DOING? TRYING TO SCARE THE ZOMBIE DRAGON AWAY LMAO? STAB IT WITH THE VALYRIAN STEEL SWORD YOU FUCKING IDIOT!



and the Night King raises his hand as the wind blows and the White Walkers watch him reach for the ice sword on his back but ARYA LEAPS OUT OF NOWHERE GOING AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA TRYING TO STAB HIM WITH THE VALYRIAN STEEL DAGGER



BUT THE NIGHT KING JUST GRABS HER BY THE HAND AND THROAT AND THE SCORE CUTS OUT AS HE STARTS FREEZING HER NECK



AND HIS EYES FLICK OVER AS ARYA DROPS HER BLADE...



AND ARYA GRIMACES AS THIS WILL BE EXTREMELY PAINFUL...



FOR YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BECAUSE ARYA CATCHES FUCKING CIA'S KNIFE THAT STARTED THE WAR OF THE FIVE KINGS IN HER OTHER HAND



AND STABS THE NIGHT KING IN THE STOMACH!!!!!!!!!!!! AND SHE'S LIKE OMAE WA MOU... SHINDEIRU HE'S LIKE N-NANI?!



AND THERE'S A SQEAULING SOUND AS HIS ENTIRE BODY EXPLODES INTO THOUSANDS OF SHARDS OF ICE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



AND THE WHITE WALKERS ALL EXPLODE INTO ICE TOO AND ALL THE ZOMBIES SUDDENLY DROP LIKE SACKS OF SHIT NO LONGER ANIMATED BY THEIR MASTERS!!!



AND ZOMBIE VISERION REARS UP AND OPENS ITS MOUTH TO UNLEASH ALL ITS HELLFIRE ON JON BUT ITS BLUE EYE GOES DEAD AND IT CRUMPLES INTO A HEAP OF WITHERED OLD LEATHER AND BONES!!!



AND THE PILE OF ZOMBIES SURROUNDING TORMUND AND GENDRY COLLAPSE, THE ZOMBIES ON THE WALL FALL OFF, THE ZOMBIES ALL THROUGHOUT THE CASTLE DROP LIKE SACKS OF SHIT



THE ZOMBIES STILL TRYING TO FLOOD INTO THE CASTLE ALL SUDDENLY DROP DEAD AGAIN IN A WAVE ACROSS THE BATTLEFIELD, INCLUDING THE ONES AROUND JORAH AND DANY and the second he sees the danger has passed Jorah finally lets himself fall over saying "I'm hurt"



and Jon looks around in amazement and Tormund, Gendry, Grey Worm and two NPCs stand in the courtyard in a sea of corpses and Brie, Jaime and Podrick are all still against the wall trapped in by all the dead bodies up to waist height around them but all also still breathing



and Tyrion, Sansa, Varys, the brave little girl, Missy, Gilly and lil Sam are all alive with the remaining civilians as the Stark ancestors lay at rest again (shame we didn't get to see a zombie Ned lmao) also I don't think we even got to see zombie Lady Mormont or zombie Edd either which would have been some kino if Jorah and Sam had to kill them respectively but I guess Lady Mormont killing the giant was one of the designated yaaaaas queeeeeen moments and they didn't want to sour it by showing her getting killed again to upset the hoards of normies who this episode was made for to scream at in bars



and in the garden an exhausted Arya looks at Bran who looks proudly at his big sister and Dany holds Jorah's destroyed body in her hands as he looks adoringly into her eyes one last time... and he dies happy knowing he saved the love of his life who he knows will make the world a better place, ok this death actually made an actual tear form in my eye as Jorah's whole life is just sad as he's such an extreme beta orbiter and he never even got a kiss on the lips from Dany lmao, he died a true friendzoners death, giving his life for a girl who wouldn't even give him a pity snog



and she cries tears of anguish (as her eyebrows go ballistic) and Drogon hears his mothers pain and lands behind her and carefully steps around her and lays his head down beside her and chirps to comfort her well there goes House Mormont rip wait where the fuck were you Drogon this entire time? couldn't have helped fight Viserion? they didn't even do the meme of the red fire and the blue fire clashing that's been used in all the promotional material all over the world down to the logo on Sky on my TV lul



and The Hound opens the door to see the hundreds of thousands of dead bodies everywhere and breathes exhausted having to lean on his axe to keep himself standing up as the Red Lady simply walks straight out through the hills of the fallen



and drops her coat down and walks towards the snowfields and Davos is alive too and comes out to watch her and he holds his sword as he considers mercing her but the Red Woman takes her enchanted necklace off revealing to Davos her true form as she walks off into the snow... and withers away into a decrepit old woman who's hair turns shock white and her skin turns to ash as if Thanos gave her the ol Snap as she collapses dead in the snow... that's the fanbase waiting for GRRM to finish the book series btw... and cut to black... and roll credits....



ok the episode was actually only an hour and 20 minutes long lets see what the rest of this video is oh sorry I meant uh TV broadcast because that's a thing people watch in 2019, alright so we have a trailer for next episode I'm skipping and then an interview with DnD describing what we just saw, absolutely epic and I'll skip that too ok so first of all like Endgame I can't fucking believe I didn't get spoiled for this since every two zeptoseconds I saw some clickbait add entitled YOU WONT BELIEVE WHO DIED DURING THE INSANE BATTLE OF WINTERFELL but I just signed off of everything and stopped using all the websites I usually go to and being extremely careful even googling the spelling of certain words (since all spellcheckers are dogshit) in case it was somehow related to GoT but nice, alright, it seems like a big complaint about this episode is it's literally too dark but honestly that's obviously on purpose to make it more scary, depict how the NK is literally obscuring the characters vision on purpose and to hide the CGI to make it more convincing Jurassic Park style so I think frankly the people who are complaining about it being hard to see are the kind of mega normies who watch shows on the actual HBO streaming client at 0.000001mb/s while tens of millions of other people are overloading their servers and compressing the video to fuck and back on their dogshit laptop or even phone while laying on a couch at their mother in laws house with the lights all on and can eat shit, but as for the story I was definitely not excepting the Night King to get iced, literally, in this episode since he's obvious final boss fodder but I guess that's Cersei, nice, hope she wins lmao, but since this was one of the final episodes I was expecting more characters to die since all their storylines are pretty much wrapped up but only Theon, Beric and Jorah bit the bullet and 2 mega d-listers Lady Mormont and Edd (and I guess Lady Karstark probably died with Theon's men too), I was expecting pretty much everyone other than Jon and Dany and maybe characters who have beef with Cersei like her brothers, The Hound and the Stark kids to survive, with their loved ones and friends being killed so they are extra mad at Cersei for betraying them and not sending Lannister forces that could have made a difference, that would have probably been better, I was waiting for a sequence where the Night King arrives in Winterfell and everyone's plot armor gets taken off and he just effortlessly freezes solid their best fighters one after another or something, but rip the fallen anyway, Beric I guess served his purpose to keep Arya alive or maybe just to motivate The Hound to do so, Jorah reached the logical endpoint of a beta orbiter and got his life fucked up white knighting his oneitis without ever escaping the friendzone and she only realizes she should have gone with the Nice Guy instead of the string of Bad Boys only once he's gone for good oh yeah and the Red Woman died but from uh suicide (I guess that's one way to make an accurate prophecy of your own death, just fucking kill yourself lmao) she was too much of a mega boomer for this shit, I guess Ghost never came back from the initial charge so rip pupper and top lel at me being right that it actually did come down to Theon saving the world by buying Arya the few more seconds she needed to get to Bran by 1v1ing the most powerful evil overlord in the world, he was probably one of my favorite characters since he's he goes from pathetic to even more pathetic but still gets the big hero moment which you don't see very often other than with comedy relief characters, but anyway the production values of this episode were amazing, of all the episodes that are just one action situation, like the Blackwater or The Wall siege or the episodes with big battles at the end of the episode like Hardhome, the Battle of the Bastards and Beyond The Wall this is by far the best and unironically better than the vast vast vast majority of blockbuster movies that look like shit compared to this and this episode was literally like 82 minutes of almost non-stop battle with almost no cut-aways as they took care of all the drama in the previous episodes and all the set-up in the previous one and we've had 7 seasons of characterization put in when most movies are a 5 minute action scene with no consequences, an hour of setting up a dumb plot you've seen a hundred times before, a middle action scene of 5 minutes that has no consequences, half an hour of bare bones characterization and then a predictable finale for 15 minutes where everything is rushed and incoherent, but this was literally like a 82 minute long action scene, simply fucking epic and really impressive for all the tech and crew guys involved, but unfortunately this is a nerd on the internet reviewing something so the technical skill it takes to pull off something on this scale only gets lip service and what we actually want to be talking about is if the story was good and the plot made sense and the answer is not really lmao again like I said the show has switched from having characters over plot unlike most shows do to putting plot over characters like every other show does where it is important to the proceedings to have certain characters be certain places and do certain things even though those characters would never do that or would be unable to do that like if this was the first four seasons then every single character would be fucking dead several times over, literally almost every character kept aaaaalmooooost dying over and over again when you're not sure if that's their death scene or not, like Tormund, Gendry, Brie, Jamie and Pod all kept getting almost overrun like three times and Sam spent the entire battle giving zombies piggy back rides, Sansa and Tyrion even look like they're about to commit suicide by zombie to get it over with but it was just running to bump into Varys somehow, all the smart characters get nerfed to make dumb decisions so something can happen in the plot like no one lights the fire in the trench despite Beric having a flaming sword right next to it or Jon staring at it a meter away on top of a fuckin dragon then the zombies just clamber over it easily anyway, no one realized they need to do something about their dead like throw them in the fire trench or something, Bran nor Jon doesn't warn anyone the Night King brings a snowstorm with him so don't rely on visibility, Varys and Tyrion, the two smartest men alive, are sitting in a crypt filled with dead bodies worrying about not being above ground to provide their genius minds fighting the army... that can resurrect the dead... and they don't get their noggin joggin about what is surrounding them one inch away from their faces lmao, Peter Dinklage even pointed this out in some behind the scenes interview



Drogon landing to just stare at Jon for some reason, I guess he could be tired but obviously he'd at least run away if zombies started getting on him but they swarm him like instantly to have him be at all threatened by them, Rhaegal crashes and just peaces the fuck out from the story without us seeing if he's dead or incapacitated or what, you'd think if he was too fucked up to be moving then the zombies could gangbang him but he'll probably turned up next ep, and the director wanted to do a stealth horror scene so Arya suddenly sneaks around rather than just runs as fast as she can as the building is mega-obviously going to be swarming with them at any time and having only a dozen in a room is the best she's going to get as a clear path and has no time to spare and she can clearly drop the zombies like it's nothing anyway but is suddenly scared, and despite NPCs literally throwing themselves into death like the Dothraki basically INTing rather than staying mobile all around the battlefield to harass enemy infintary from the sides in hit and run attacks like actual cavalry do to not die instantly or the zombies only attacking from one angle for no reason despite their target Bran being in a more vulerable other section of the castle on the side, the main charters can teleport around the battlefield as they like like Jorah somehow leaves Winterfell and gets behind the army of the dead to save Dany, the only character who can't TP around is Jon who does fuck all anything but scream at the zombie dragon I guess to distract it from Arya or something, he even was about to get the epic final duel with the Night King who just has his guys like politely keep him away and not kill him (so he can casually walk into Winterfell rather than just wait for every human to die since he's vulerable to every single weapon they're using?) even though there's like ten thousand of them around Jon, he doesn't even get to do anything cool like realize he's fire proof from being a Targ (like maybe a scene where Jon is grappling with the NK and he yells for Dany to fireblast him to sacrafice himself and then there's the reveal the NK is fireproof and does the smiling at her meme but then Jon runs out bucknaked finding he's fireproof too to nothin personel kid the NK in the back and that's how it's revealed to Dany that they're related and not just because dipshit retard Jon blurts it out to her), so I guess all that prophecy and being resurrected and being one of the only characters to see the Night King twice and survive actually counts for nothing lmao, another thing the actors couldn't keep quiet about



for of course the big meme of fucking le ninja master assassin Arya doing her naruto run and epic kunai move who has nothing to do with this storyline at all, to quote Maisie Williams herself "The hardest thing is in any series is when you build up a villain that's so impossible to defeat and then you defeat them. It has to be intelligently done because otherwise people are like, 'Well, [the villain] couldn’t have been that bad when some 100-pound girl comes in and stabs him'. You gotta make it cool. And then I told my boyfriend and he was like, 'Mmm, should be Jon though really, shouldn't it?'", and doesn't bother to use all her fucking obnoxious training we had to sit through 2 seasons of and still somehow getting past the White Walkers (who literally do nothing the entire battle and the other characters never targeting for no reason even though they already know if they kill the few White Walkers there are it instakills the thousands of zombies they're controlling (also am I right in thinking they're all Crastor's incest rape baby sons? or is there some baby White Walkers still crawling around in the Night King's house lmao?)) and zombies (despite just being shown to have very clear senses enough to hear a drop of blood across a room ) to do an anime leap at the Night King not bothering to use her OP master of disguise shit to pretend to be a White Walker handing him his spear or Bran himself or something like that to use her like... slight of hand skills?... she kinda showed once during the sparring scene with Brie? and the biggest meme ever that the Night King, despite being who knows how fucking old, has such a cold aura he can survive full power dragonfire and is the linchpin of his entire army so probably should not expose himself ever if he's this weak which he should never have to do as he can control infinite proxy soldiers, gets taken out by a 18 year old womanlet stabbing him with a knife lmao that was clearly just for hyping up the soyfaced normies



huh it's almost like you should have just sent an assassin to sneak up and stab him years ago or something if he's just as vulnerable to valaryan steel and dragonglass as the other White Walkers that Jon gets good enough to 1v1 easily, like literally just fire a dragonglass arrow at him, ducktape the knife to a crow and have Bran warg it into his head from a mile off lmao, due to it clearly being signalled to the audience this way from the Drogon scene I was expecting him to be Thanos level durable that you'd have to kill with some weird loophole like Bran has to let him kill him to make Beric the Old God's chosen one as well as Allah's so he can stack Chosen One abilities (maybe a meme here is that Arya is actually the champion of the God of Death or something?), or it's shown the Night King has no weaknesses like the other White Walkers so Bran has to go back in time to when he was made by the Dark God directly or something and learn his weakness from how he was created, or Zombie Viserion's blue fire is shown to injure the Night King by accident so Bran goes Super Wargian Level 3 to control the undead Dragon and can kill the NK with that type of flame because it's the same dark magic that powers him and his army and what Varys saw as a kid, or Bran realizes if he dies while connected to the Old God tree internet he can hack the Night King's myspace and take control of his army so sacrifices himself, or this happens



or here's a good idea I just had with my amazing brain: Bran wargs to the NK's creation and sees that the first Night King was actually a Three Eyed Raven in like caveman times who was warging so back in time himself to see the origin of life that he went before it and exposed himself to the God of Death who was like oh no no nononono to the younger Old Gods trying to gain influence over the mortal realm at the dawn of humanity by making one of them their avatar and Death corrupted this Three Eyed Raven into the Night King who wakes up a blue demon and turns all his followers into White Walkers and raises the dead from their burial grounds and for hundreds of thousands of years (the elves making White Walkers was just them figuring out how to do it themselves to use them as bio weapons against humans since fuck off that's anti-climactic since you want to know why they can't just unmagic them (I also saw in one of those dumb after-show interview things DnD saying the Night King died at the very tree he was created at, which is not hinted in the text anywhere lmao, that it's the same tree or the same character, the elf lady who created him is even there when he attacks her cave and doesn't say shit)) the Night King hunts down the next Three Eyed Raven and possesses this new one and mutates his body into the demonic blue form and uses his warging ability for evil to control an army of the dead and whenever a new Three Eyed Raven discovers his powers he comes for him, and you hint at that throughout like they don't actually show him killing the old man in the cave he just slices at him, maybe he was just cutting his body free to switch to it, and maybe the first two times we see the Night King he has like brands and tattoos you don't see when you see him in Beyond The Wall but he does have scars Bran noticed on the old man, and when Bran learns this he comes up with an epic plan where everything goes about the same except the Night King is shown to be impervious to weapons and the heroes valaryan steel blades and dragonglass arrows just freeze and shatter on contact as he doesn't have these weaknesses and when he confronts Bran he tries to talk to the old man who's body he's using but the Night King says one line to him the old man said to him once but ironically to show he destroyed his mind when he took his body and then he wargs into Bran's body, his pervious body dropping dead as the old 3ER's corpse, and transforms Bran's body into the blue form and stands up with the legs working and becomes so powerful from Bran's abilities that he can resurrect Jon's dragon that died in the crash landing from a mile away without even touching it just by thinking about it and starts reanimating the dead in graveyards all around Westeros and even the crypts under King's Landing start animating and even The Mountain starts to get taken over and lurch towards Cersei since he's basically a zombie already and Jon pathetically tries to attack the Night King who just effortlessly freezes his legs and starts slowly sadistically freezing the rest of his body but then Theon bleeding out on the ground starts laughing and the Night King is like n-nani? as it turns out... Bran had Theon put a valaryan steel dagger in his back before the zombies even got there and snap off the handle to hide it and he has been slowly bleeding to death for the entire siege and the Night King might be invulnerable to outside attack from his freezing abilities and super strong skin but Bran realized he's not immune to whatever weakness the body he takes over is from him wanting a younger 3ER and not some old ass man so he can't do shit about taking over the body of someone who already has a knife in the back and THEN he shatters into ice chunks and the day is saved because Bran and a shit load more characters sacrificed themselves, or just literally anything to do with the mythology surrounding these two characters and not, you know, literally just run up and stab him lmao without learning anything more about him they clearly only had Arya kill him to le subvert your le expectations despite that being impossible since it's [the current year] and everyone gets online and shares their thoughts so those few people who'd always guess a twist can spread that idea to the entire fanbase, like the show runner on Westworld literally changed a twist because someone on reddit guessed it and it changed the rest of the show probably for the worse which is something GRRM talked about: so what if someone guesses the twists, thats better than changing it and fucking up the set-up you've already put in which obviously is what DnD are doing here, and as I think I've said before in this thread having le shocking twists if for brainlets or people who aren't losers who watch way too much tv and movies like me and cant map it all out anyway you should be, you know, providing actually engaging content, but they really couldn't handle any of these supernatural elements at all, I fucking said in the very first scene of this show that adding fucking zombies to this le gritty and grim and grounded medieval political drama was a bad fucking idea, I warned you, I warned you, and now look what you did to ya boi, fucking stabbed by a teenage girl like he walked around London at night



Viserion and one of the other dragons didn't even do the blue fire vs red fire blasting at each other meme that was all over the advertising material for this season, I feel like there must be some content with the NK left, like it does turn out he's a spirit that possesses people to be the Night King, and he still transfers to Bran or Cersei or something, or it does turn out he was Bran from the future and Bran is fated to become him and be killed by his own sister in an infernal loop or eternity, and the final scene is Bran warging his soul back in time to possess some poor First Man to be the Night King after he realizes Dany can't improve the world and all his family gets horribly trotured to death by Cersei and it's always going to be shit so he'll try to end it knowing what he knows now, and the show is who knows how many loops of Bran trying to exterminate humanity over and over again, it's gonna be weird if the next three episodes are fighting Cersei since like yeah they lost almost all their forces but they have Bran who can warg into a crow and control it to just fly in her bedroom and stab her with a poisoned needle or something lmao or one day Qyburn just peels his face off to reveal Arya and stab her or Dany can just have Drogon smash through her apartment and blast her off the face of the planet it's all a bit fucking retarded if she's the final boss after they fight literally an army of zombies and the most powerful evil lord ever, it also kind of fucks up the theme of White Walkers global warming if you can just stab the big baddy and stop the zombies and move onto the next war rather than everyone having to work together to beat them or to have something approaching thematic coherence do something to show the elves that mankind can change, like momentarily teaming up with Cersei or something, to convince the Children of the Forest to not just hide and wait for humanity to die but do something to help them that saves the day, because technically the White Walkers were also caused by humanity like the libcuck soyboy beta males want you to think global warming is since the elf ladies made them to fight back against men encroaching on their habitat as a kind of metaphor for Mother Earth firing back at humanity IRL, so the way to beat this counter-action is to stop doing what caused it: waging war, and if humanity can make peace with itself and the elf girls then that thematically beats the result of so far being unable to have peace, just like how IRL how you beat global warming is to stop doing the shit you were doing that caused it and the power of team-work, but no you just stab the big baddy I guess, maybe the big meme is Cersei outsmarts them all and kills all the heroes and wins lmao and the show just ends with her still on the Iron Throne, delivering a new healthy baby boy to carry on the Lannister name, and she like keeps Tyrion in a cage to force Jaime to be her husband while Dany gets raped by The Mountain who wins his duel against all the other fighters and all the Stark kids heads get put on pikes rofl, but yeah if that's really the end of the Night King and the White Walkers and zombies and the Winter is Coming™ meme after 9 fucking years of build-up without learning anything about the Night King's identity or past, his relationship to Bran, him being the final boss or even him getting literally one line of dialog and getting defeated by... Arya's slight of hand... in a way that literally anyone could have done if they got the drop on them in a way that makes no sense since we've already established Arya needs to sneak like a normal human and can't dash past the zombies super fast like an anime character and that the Night King can generate such low tepratures around him that he can put out fires you'd think he'd use to make sure no one can sneak up on him if that's really the end of 9 years of build up lmao then the only thing I'm gonna say is boy am I'm glad I only started watching this shit like three months ago and that the main thing I'm a fan of is the MCU that just wrapped up 11 years of 22 movies this same week in the most satisfying ending of anything ever lmao hit the dab like Thanos in Fortnite I'm outtie





Game of Thrones 8x04: "The Last of the Starks"
The Last of the Greenscreen Budget special edition
First aired: May 5, 2019

alright apparently this episode is the lowest rated one ever on IMDb so this should be fun we open panning up the dead body on a pyre of.... j.... yes Jorah, rip you pathetic beta orbiter, and his oneitis finally kisses him..... on the cheek lmao not even on the lips in death you fucking incel and as if to make up for it she kisses him on the forehead again, then we see Sansa mourning over Theon's body, probably the man she had the closest relationship to in her life other than fucking Joffrey before she clocked what a madlad he was, and we see her take off a direwolf sigil pin and give it to Theon on his kraken sigil armor so he dies a true Stark AND a true Greyjoy (which makes me wonder since direwolves are real in this setting does that mean krakens are real too? Ramsay was talking almost as if they were, inb4 the show gets so silly Yara rides a kraken as her mount to kill Euron) and the two mourning women walk back to the crowd watching the... hundreds of bodies piled up, and we see... oh thank god, GHOST SURVIVED! despite still having his fur matted with who knows who's blood, and even he looks sad if only because all the humans are, and Jon steps forward and gives a speech about saying goodbye to their brothers and sisters and fathers and mothers and friends "our fellow men and women who put aside their differences to fight together, and die together, so others might live" and we see the drastically different but still comrades for life Brie and Jaime and he talks about how it's their duty to keep their memory alive forever and announces "they were the shields that guarded the realms of men" showing the Night's Watch actually fucking meant something and did their job finally lmao and he takes a torch and walks to the Northern pyres, Tormund takes a torch and walks to the Wildling pyres, and Dany takes a torch and walks to her armies pyres, and Arya goes to Beric's pyre who gave his life for her, and Sam goes to Edd's pyre who gave his life for him, and Jon goes to Lady Mormont's pyre who backed him to her final, well literally past her final breath since her lungs were crushed by a giant, but that's how hardcore she was, and they all look at each other sad as Dany and Grey Worm put down their torches with them too and light the pyres and Dany cant bare to watch Jorah burn and walks back to the crowd, you know there's a lot more survivors than I thought there'd be but I guess a lot of people managed to survive within the castle walls before Arya did her naruto run shit (that I only just realized was maybe meant to be her... dropping out of the holy white tree or something? I... I don't know), and the camera pans up through the smoke of the burning pyres as everyone tears up



then in the great hall everyone is having a well earned feast and Jon notices how sad Dany is and Gendry awkwardly looks around for Arya wondering if he's been pumped and dumped and considers asking The Hound, thinks better, but then gives in and asks if he knows where Arya is and The Hound admonishes "we can still smell the burning bodies and that's where your head is at?" with some of his old religious friends pious ways rubbing off lmao and he stumbles over his words denying he wants to get laid again but The Hound growls "of course it's about that you TWAT, why shouldn't it be? the dead are dead, you're not" and Gendry storms off but then hears... Dany calling out to him, and everyone freezes and watches as she calls him over and asks "you're Robert Baratheon's son?" and Gendry looks scared at Davos as if he's wondering if this woman with the strongest attempt for the throne is gonna ice him for being the actually most legitimate heir there but Davos nods to him and Gendry just nods to her and Dany gets all uppity saying "you do know your father took my family's throne and tried to have me murdered?" and Gendry just explains "I didn't even know he was my father until after he was dead" and Dany glares at him saying "yes, he's dead, his brothers are too... so who's Lord of Stormsend now?" and he says awkwardly "I don't know your Grace" and she calls out "does anyone?" and everyone gets too shook to answer but she says "I think you should be Lord of Stormsend" and he gets confused and says hes a bastard but Dany officially makes him the heir to Robert on the spot, and Gendry looks around confused that he's suddenly legitimate and a Lord (which wouldn't that mean... he's now the most rightful heir to the throne? since Joffrey was never Rob's kid but now Gendry isn't a bastard anymore? is Dany high or something?), and Davos cuts the tension by raising his cup to "Lord Gendry Baratheon of Stormsend!" and everyone cheers for the brave man who fought for them other than The Hound who just rolls his eyes and keeps eating at all this dumb Lord shit and Dany looks super smug she made everyone happy and shares a smile with Jon and Tyrion points out her good play of appointing a Lord of Stormsend that'll be loyal to her forever and she whispers back "see? you're not the only one who's clever" yeah you're all about the same level of retarded by now and Tyrion looks at Sansa who looks at him extremely autistically and then we see Jaime creepily plying Brie with more wine when she tries to stop drinking since he has no idea how to not be in an abusive relationship and then we see Davos talking to Tyrion about the Red Woman necking herself pondering if it was the Lord of Light who killed killed her and ponders if this god is real then where the fuck he is now but Tyrion warns him pondering those things won't make you happy and warns they still have humans to contend with and Davos deadpans "thank you I feel much better" and downs wine as he looks at all the young volatile leaders they have now with Sansa, Jon and Dany and we see The Hound snatching an entire jug of wine off a maid and then Tyrion going to chat to Bran about his wheelchair and he says it's a design a Targ made for his nephew 120 years ago which by him saying "I liked that one" implies he saw it personally while warging and Tyrion says his abilities will serve him well as Lord of Winterfell but Bran doesn't really want anything in this life anymore and warns Tyrion he shouldn't envy that as he mostly lives in the past now which is sad since he can't change it and if he tries would just fail or realize he's the one who made some bad thing happen he was probably trying to change in the first place and he creepily rolls away like some Professor X shit and then we see Tormund trying to force Jon to keep drinking by raising his glass that's some viking shit made out of an animal horn to the Dragon Queen but Dany one-ups him by raising her glass (just going to get it out the way now: but not her starbucks coffee cup hohohohohoho there get the normie meme out the way since there isn't anything that interesting about a production error like that, if you don't know what I'm talking about and are for some reason reading this someone left a modern day coffee cup on her table in some scene and I can't be fucked to actually spot where) to Arya Stark the hero of Winterfell and everyone stands up and give a huge cheer and it even gets a smile out of The Hound and Tormund chugs the wine he was trying to give to Jon as everyone cheers he's such an alchie



and then Sansa and Dany share an awkward smile and Sansa marches off and Dany sits down uhhh should she be drinking wasn't there some storyline where she's pregnant or am I going insane? there probably will be but oh wait yeah that's Cersei sorry my brain is melting from watching all this shit in like two months and then with Tyrion, Jaime, Brie and a suddenly much older looking Pod they are playing the drinking game Tyrion invented and Jaime accurately guesses that Brie is an only child with Tyrion allowing Jaime to go again much to Brie's annoyance and he somehow accurately guesses she danced with Renly and after she shoots Pod an angry glance and he just shakes his head that he never told anyone she has to down another is Jaime gonna fucking date rape her or some shit and then Tormund is ranting about how he personally saw Jon riding that dragon and asks what kind of man climbs on a fucking dragon (uhhhhhhhhhh him? he himself rode a dragon like a week ago?) and bigging Jon up to all his Wildlings saying that even if he's small (LMAO WHY DO THEY KEEP MAKING FUN OF JON'S HEIGHT?!? ok I need to look up the actors height... ok he's only 5'8" that's my height and it is NOT manlet height that's like half the supposedly big guy for you actors in hollywood) he's strong enough to befriend an enemy, get murdered for it and come back and they all cheer for their leader as Dany looks over concerned that even the Wildlings want to follow Jon as Tormund keeps ranting about how badass he was that he wants to keep fighting so much he'll climb on a dragon and must be a madman or a King and they all cheer again and Jon sees Dany getting booty blasted about him getting all the glory for stealing her gimmick but she forces herself to smile and raise a glass to him but then looks off edgily and glares at Tyrion and Jaime laughing together as if she's pondering killing them and then looks over at Jon without a care in the world and marches off but Varys was watching all that and lurks behind her and then we cut to Brie off her tits forcing Tyrion to drink as she accurately guesses he was married before Sansa and then guesses wrong that he prefers ale and Brie looks like he's about to burst out laughing but then Tyrion kills the mood by guessing "YOU'RE A VIRGIN" I knew it! she is the last incel! other than the Unsullied of course but even Grey Worm gets some now adays



and Brie gets super awkward (even though in this culture a woman being a virgin is considered a virtue and her being an unmarried non-virgin would actually be a massive shame but ok duuuuuude) and Jaime tries to save it by saying that's technically not a guess about her pass but Tyrion rephrases it so it is adding she's never slept with a woman either but Brie just stands up in a huff saying "I have to piss" and walks off and Tormund comes up to Brie ranting about how they killed the icy fuckers and cracks a joke to her table "now which one of you cowards shit in my pants? ...hahahahaah!" what a fucking memer and Brie just awkwardly says "please pardon me for a moment" knowing he's after some after-battle pussy and when Tormund tries to follow Jaime being able to spot a lecherous creeper a mile away from his own antics blocks Tormund from doing so who glares at him but then realizes it's because he fancies Brie too and Tyrion just tops up Tormund's glass to keep him happy there and Pod gives Tormund a big smile as if to say let's be mates but if you bother my Lady I'll fookin rek u m8 and Tormund walks off dejected knowing he's not welcome and Pod gives a friendly smile to a young woman he sees eyeing him up and then we cut to Tormund in tears that "after all that this fucker comes North and takes her from me! I mean it! my heart is broken!" and we and over to him talking to... The Hound lmao who snarls "don't touch me" as he puts his hand on his shoulder but he's saved by some thot called Willa tempting "you can touch me, I'm not afraid of Wildlings" and Tormund plays into it chuckling "maybe you should be" and takes Willa under his arm and teases The Hound "well Clegane, it's time to drown our sorrows" but he snarls "I'm not done with my drink" wanting this crazy fuck to piss off but Tormund ain't talkin about drowning in drink and slithers off to get laid and another cag comes up to The Hound fancying a ride on one of the big heroes of the battle but he's more interested in drinking and he growls in her face "all right!" to make her run off since he's gone volcel (actually maybe The Hound is a virgin? he's bantered about fucking before but we never got any confirmation, maybe that explains his power level)



and Sansa sees there's someone as damaged as her here who can't even have fun at a time like this anymore and goes over to say "she could have made you happy for a little while" but he claims "there's only one thing that'll make me happy" yeah the fucking fanbase at this stage too mate Clegane Bowl! Clegane Bowl! Clegane Bowl! and Sansa asks what and he snaps "that's my fucking business" and she just stares him straight in the eyes working out what it probably is and he notes "used to be you couldn't look at me" and she smiles "I've seen much worse than you since then" and The Hound not so delicately says "yes I've heard, heard you were broken in, heard you were broken in rough" trying to unnerve her so she'll fuck off but she keeps staring at him without even blinking saying "and he got what he deserved, I gave it to him" and he just asks "how?" and when she answers "hounds" it gets a laugh out of him and she smiles and he notes "you've changed Little Bird" and takes a drink and tells her "none of it would have happened if you'd left King's Landing with me, no Littlefinger, no Ramsay... none of it" and Sansa looks a bit sad and takes his hand and tells him "without Littlefinger and Ramsay and all the rest I would have stayed a Little Bird all my life" taking some of Bran's wisdom that your past can all be worth it if you can get your present working because it couldn't have happened without it which is a very nice interpretation of the hopeless determinism that the GoT universe seems to run on lmao and then she stands up to leave before she gets too emotional and The Hound tries not to get emotional himself as he thinks about how that applies to him and maybe he's not just ruined for life and can use his trauma to move forward and then later everyone is absolutely off their fucking tits making out and wrestling and falling about in public as Gendry storms around looking for Arya and then suddenly almost gets shot by an arrow by her lmao and he asks why she's not celebrating but this is her version of celebrating, target practice, and he tells her the news that he's a legitimate Lord now and she tells him "congratulations" meaning it and Gendry grabs her and kisses her overjoyed and tells her frantically he won't be able to do all this without her and then... gets down on one knee and GENDRY PROPOSES TO ARYA asking her to be his wife and Lady of Stormsend and Arya bends down to kiss him... but tells him he'll be a good Lord and any Lady will be lucky to have him... but she's not a Lady and never has been and that life isn't for her and goes back to practising arrows and Gendry tries to cope with getting put in the fuckbuddy zone



then later that night Jaime turns up at Brie's door completely plastered demanding she drink because Tyrion accurately guessed her past and she concernedly tells him this isn't the game it's just drinking lmao as he's becoming an alchie like his big sister but she gives in and downs the glass he offers and then he finds an excuse to strip off his clothes complaining about how big she keeps her fires and when he teases her for being so diligent she just says "piss off" but Jaime gives some honesty back that the first thing he learned in the North is "I hate the fucking North" and Brie claims "it grows on you" and Jaime mumbles "I don't want things growing on me" and teases her about Tormund's interest in her and she teases back a bit more seriously "you sound a bit jealous?" and he admits "I do don't I?" and even though you can hear a draft Jaime claims "it's bloody hot in here" and struggles to undo his shirt with one hand lmao so Brie says "oh move aside" and helps but then... Jaime starts undoing Brie's shirt... and she goes "what are you doing" and he drunkenly deadpans "taking your shirt off" but she moves his one hand away... and starts doing it herself... and then takes his shirt off... and he looks at her in wonder as this taller woman... takes her shirt off for him, shame we don't get to see the goods since the actress has done nude shoots before, and Jaime without a hint of his usual snark says "I've never slept with a knight before" and Brie admits "I've never slept with anyone before" and Jaime says dysfunctional as ever "then you have to drink those are the rules" and before she can reply JAIME STARTS MAKING OUT WITH BRIE AS HARD AS HE CAN so who does that leave, I guess fucking Bran and Varys are the last virgins standing but they're both disablement and don't seem bothered by it, so I guess the twist is that the volcel are the most powerful type of incel afterall



then Dany comes to Jon and asks "are you drunk?" as if she wants a ride on her nephews dick and he looks at her in disbelief but struggles to his feet trying to claim "no... only a little" as he wants that good good aunt pussy too and he starts trying to comfort his lover/aunt that Jorah died the way he wanted to and Dany admits "he loved me and I couldn't love him back, not the way he wanted... not the way I love you... is that all right?" and JON JUST STARTS MAKING OUT WITH HIS AUNT DANY AND STARTS TAKING HER TOP OFF but being a massive moralfaggot he stops and Dany cringes saying "I wish you'd never told me, if I didn't know I'd be happier now, I try to forget, tonight I did for a while, but then I saw them gathered around you, I saw the way they looked at you, I know that look, so many people have looked at me that way but not here, not this side of the sea..." since she is a megalomaniac more concerned with Jon being a more popular ruler than her than the whole... you know... fucking your nephew thing, the thing that in this universe seems to give you a coin toss on if your kids will be mental or not, and Jon tries to say "I told you I don't want it" but Dany cries "you didn't want to be King of the North! what happens when they demand you press your claim and take what is mine?!" and Jon bends down and insists "I'll refuse, you are my queen, I don't know what else to say!" (yeah I can tell since you say "muh Queen" every second line of dialog) and Dany gets up in his face and frantically begs him to never tell anyone else and make Bran and Sam swear to keep it secret too with her face going bananas like only Emilia can do or it'll take on a life of it's own and ruin everything and she tries to control herself knowing this'll probably end with her having to kill him but takes his hand and says she wants it to go back to how it was between them but fucking moralfaggot Jon says "I have to tell Arya and Sansa" oh my fucking god you fucking idiot all that's changed is you're not their cousin rather than half-brother, like so fucking what Ned lied about having an affair and your aunt didn't get raped, what of it, and Dany points out obviously Sansa will want him on the throne instead and Jon not knowing his own sister anymore insists "she won't" but Dany points out she's not the same girl anymore "not after what they've done to her" knowing how The Patriarchy™ can turn a sweet girl bad and dumbass shit for brains Jon says "I owe them the truth" but Dany insists it'll destroy them and starts whining "I've never begged for anything, but I'm begging you, don't do this, please!" (actually you dumb thot you begged the counsil in Quarth or wherever for your dragons back lol) and he holds her face and says "you are my Queen and nothing will change that... and they are my family... we can live together" oh my fucking god JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU FUCKING IDIOT and Dany suddenly maddogs him like a mad cunt and says "we can, I just told you how", what a fucking stupid storyline, agonizingly obviously Jon would need an IQ of about 70 to not keep his trap shut



and then we cut to Brie looking well fucked and asleep and we pan over to a troubled looking Jaime since this is his first time too excluding his sister lmao and then we see Grey Worm collecting the war pieces off Jon's map saying "half are gone" and Jon takes off some pieces saying "the Northmen as well" and we cut back to see Missy, Dany, Varys, Tyrion, a Dothraki leader, Arya, Bran, Lord Glover or whoever, Davos and Brie are all there too assessing the damage to their forces and Varys reminds them "and the Golden Company has arrived in King's Landing courtesy of the Greyjoy fleet, the balance has grown distressingly even" putting pieces for them on the map and Missy is convinced "when the people learn what we've done for them, that we saved them-" but Dany knows "Cersei will make sure they don't believe it" wouldn't there be like thousands of witnesses and undeniable evidence of a massive battle lmao and when Dany talks edgy shit about removing Cersei "root and stem" Tyrion reminds her they're trying to avoid casualties in KL which she doesn't much like and Varys tells them Yara retook the Iron Islands and the new Prince of Dorne also offers his support, I guess that's uhhhh Dron or whatever his name was younger son we haven't seen, and Dany gets mad that Cersei can still call her Queen as long as she sits on the Iron Throne, and Tyrion says he saw the people turn on their King when they were hungry, and Jon suggests starting to starve to city by destroying caravans with their dragons, and if the people figure they're not attacking them since they only want to fuck up Cersei they'll turn on her, and Dany gives in and agrees, but Sansa warns their men are exhausted and need time to rest and heal which to Dany's disgruntlement and she reminds her very annoyed that she came up there to help them at great loss to her forces and now it's reciprocate she can't be whining about resting but Sansa points out it's her people too that need rest and Dany gets all paranoid about her enemies becoming stronger with the nice wee implication being that she means Sansa too and Jon tells his sisters they need to obey their Queen much to Dany's satisfaction and Arya and Sansa's concern and Tyrion sums up if everyone agrees Jon and Davos ride down with the remaining Northern soldiers, Dothraki and Unsullied and the rest of them will sail with the dragons up from Dragonstone and he says Jaime has elected to stay there I guess he doesn't have the bottle to help kill his own sister with is a shame since he thematically should really be the one to kill her and Sansa gives Brie a cheeky look as she knows probably the main reason is if Sansa stays in Winterfell so dies Brie and now that means Jaime wants to stay too for that good good giant pussy and Brie tries to hide her smile and Dany announces "we have won the Great War, now we will win the Last War, in all Seven Kingdoms men will live without fear and cruelty... under their rightful queen" and Sansa gives her a sassy look and Dany sasses back riiiiight you know I only just realized all this talking about the Seven Kingdoms this the Seven Kingdoms that reminds me of them going on about the Nine Realms in the Thor movies constantly but I guess Norse mythology probably gets the original rights for that phrasing anyway then she struts off and Arya tells Jon "we need a word" oh god here we fucking go



then in the surprisingly cleared out gardens Jon is defending Dany to his sisters for saving them in the battle and oh my fucking god the greenscreen the horrible fucking greenscreen my m8y bois they are very clearly not on the usual garden set and it looks absolutely terrible as they're edited in there like cutout png files in photoshop clearly too small for the perspective being used lmao and Sansa defends Arya saying she got the big epic boss kill and Jon defends Dany again says her men all died to protect Winterfell and Sansa starts insisting again not to kneel to Dany and Jon has a fit saying he swore and Arya says she respects that because they needed her... past tense... but now she has to do the right thing telling him they don't trust "his Queen" and Jon looks around in distress and says "you don't know her yet" as if he does? hasn't he talked to her like a total of 8 times lmao? this Jon/Dany romance is really bad since unlike the Jon/Ygritte romance which was good and unlike most fictional romances where the characters are implausibly le destined to le be together by le fate you could see why their personalities meshed well and why they'd have affection for each other with them having a sort of ying/yang thing going on where she was a street smart rough and tumble happy go lucky type that counter-acted his uptight concerned with being honerable brooding so she brought him out his shell and he made her a better person and want to leave the Wildling lifestyle but they also had a lot in common both being very brave and ready to kick some ass so they got on well until their allegiances separated them and Realism Bitch™ stopped them from ever reuniting just like how in real life no matter how perfect you are for someone life might just fuck your shit up and separate you forever but what does he see in Dany? so far it's played and written like he's simply intimidated by her ruthlessness and dragons but needed them and now he's... grateful to her? and what does Dany see in him? other than she's got some mental problems and probably from being raised with her only male role model being her abusive egomaniac brother she has a thing for powerful men and that's really it, they're clearly not compatible because Jon is such a fucking moralfag and not the kind of madlad Dany gels well with due to also being off her nut like Aquaman and Daario was, seems like they were forced together just so the writers could have another incest sex scene lmao according to google Jon and Ygritte's actors were dating IRL which probably explains why they had such good chemistry but it doesn't excuse how Dany and Jon have zero chemistry and it is literally just as awkward as kissing your aunty IRL would be lmao anyway then Jon tells Arya she needs to trust someone more than who she grew up with but Arya edgily says "I'm fine with that... I don't need many allies" ebin and she claims the four of them can do it themselves but Jon broodily says he's never been a Stark but his sisters insist he's their real brother and not just half-brother which is what they still they still think when he's actually their... cousin? and Jon looks to Bran who just says "it's your choice" as if he already knows what he'll say and is just saying well technically he will make a decision since the GoT universe seems to work on pre-destination and he know Jon doesn't really have any free will in the matter and Jon here we fucking go says "I need to tell you something... but you need to SWEAR you'll never tell another soul" oh my fucking god here we fucking gooooo and Sansa and Arya look at each other like here we fucking go too and Jon insists they swear it and Sansa bitchily says "how can I wear not to tell a secret if I don't even know what it is?" deep stuff and Jon snaps "because we're family" and demands of Arya "swear it" and she goes "I swear it" and Sansa just nods and says "I swear it" and Jon.... oh you fucking idiot he cant keep a secret for more than 2 fucking days... he tells Bran "tell them" and Bran sits there autistically and then we cut away since I guess the writers couldn't be fucked having Bran explain all this convoluted family tree Desperate Housewives tier affair drama to the girls lmao WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING JON, STOP FUCKING TELLING EVERYONE YOUR SECRETS THAT'LL DESTROY THE COUNTRY, YOUR DAD TOOK THIS SECRET TO HIS FUCKING GRAVE YOU'RE STANDING A FEW METERS FROM, SHUT YOUR FUCKING GOB, HOW DOES THIS EVEN HELP THE SITUATION? THEY'LL JUST THINK YOU'RE EVEN MORE BIAS AND NOT FIT TO BE TOGETHER!!!! HOLY FUUUUUUUUUUUUCK THIS IS RETARDED, GIVE JON SOME FUCKING CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT AFTER 8 FUCKING YEARS ALREADY SO HE CAN STOP BEING A NAIVE FUCKING BRAINLET no fucking prizes for guessing that Arya and Sansa immediately run tell that to everybody and Dany goes mental about it and tries to kill Jon



then with Jamie and Tyrion they are discussing Brie staying with him and Jaime tries to play it off as she's just staying with Sansa and he cant take the tension anymore and just asks "say something snide" and Tyrion puts on faux shock and says "I'm happy that you're happy!" but then sees he needs a bit of humor about the weird situation of his love life and quips "I'm happy that you'll finally have to climb for it" lmaoooooo and gets a big laugh out his brother and he goes on "do you know how long I've waited to tell tall-person jokes?" and then they clash their drinks to "to climbing mountains" yeah hopefully a certain Mountain gets climbed in the next 2 and a half eps or I'm gonna be mad and Tyrion dares to ask "what's she like down there" and Jaime actually respecting his lover for once snaps "what?! that's not your concern!" and Tyrion whines about how he hasn't been with a woman for years and begs for details and Jaime sneers "you're a dog" and Tyrion quips "I am the IMP and I demand to know!" but then BRONN WALKS IN WITH THE ORNATE CROSSBOW saying "I knew you were fucking her! a pair of tall blond toffs! must be like looking in the mirror!" probably a joke about him fucking his twin usually, wait what? what the fuck is Bronn doing here? this is still Winterfell right? am I fucking high? who the fuck let him in the castle with a fucking loaded crossbow where the King and Queen of the North are sleeping? what the fuck is happening? he literally just walks into the room with them? I thought he'd have to wait until they came back down to Kingslanding or something but he literally just walks in? uhhhh ok duuuuuuuude and Tyrion asks "where's your drink? what are you-... what are you doing up North?" yeah good fucking question and Jaime notices "what are you doing with that?" and the scene is going along at such a lazy pace I know there's no tension and Bronn is just going to put the bow down and tell them Cersei put him up to it and never had any intention of turning on his friends and yeah Bronn admits "oh this? this is fir you, for both of you" as he pulls up a chair and Tyrion insists "you're supposed to be South" and Bronn replies "you two are a pair of gold-plated cunts, do you know that?" lmao he couldn't have come up with Jaime to help with the battle? I guess he knew it was probably going down but elected to just get laid instead lmao, based, and Bronn starts ranting "year after year I have to shovel Lannister shit and what do I have to show?" and Tyrion reminds him "you're a knight thanks to me" but Bronn corrects "thanks to me, and that title's worth about as much as a blond hair from your brother's ballsack" hahaahhaha ok and Tyrion tries to do the Varys meme of "power resides in where men belie-" but Bronn snaps "shut your mouth!" and threatens to hit him if he doesn't shut it and Tyrion calls his bluff but BRONN BUTTS TYRION IN THE FACE WITH THE CROSSBOW and Jaime bolts upright to defend his brother but Bronn holds him at arrow-point and chides "you couldn't do it on your best day you one-handed fuck and your best days are long gone" and Tyrion starts crying he broke his nose but Bronn says "I've been breaking noses since I was your size and I know what it sounds like" and sits down and holds them at crossbow point and starts monologing about how Cersei promised him Riverrun (which I've completely forgotten what that is, the Twin Towers that the Frey's used to have?) but admits "I knew she was dead the second I saw those dragons" and explains he's still going to bet on the Northern army and Cersei can't pay up if she's dead as he downs a drink and explains "of course the odds change if the Queens Hand turns up dead, maybe a few of her top generals get picked off one by one" who does he think he is fucking Agent 47? and Tyrion reminds Bronn of his promise to double anything he's paid and offers him... Highgarden but Jaime calls his bluff and says he wont kill them but BRONN FIRES A BOLT RIGHT NEXT JAIMES HEAD and then.... reloads it within like half a second...... right......... are the writers not aware that this is a one-shot weapon that takes a while to reload? wtf was that? agonizingly obviously that would be the opportunity for Jaime to fight him or at least, you know... call for help in his castle surrounded by guards who should probably keep you know assassins with bows out... this scene is fucking retarded lmao everyone knows nothings going to happen and Bronn threatens he only needs one alive and Jaime refuses to give Highgarden to a cutthroat since he still respects the Tyrell family I guess but Bronn reminds him their family is only rich from being cutthroats like every other house "with a hard bastard who was good at killing people: kill a few hundred bastards they make you a Lord, kill a few thousand they make you a King, and then all your cocksucking grandsons can ruin the family with their cocksucking ways" and downs another drink knowing he's right and insists on Highgarden so Tyrion gives him his word but reminds him they still need to take King's Landing and offers him a place in their army but Bronn insists "my fighting days are done, but I still got a few killing days left in me, I'll come find you when the war is done, until then... don't die" and walks backwards out the door like an anime character as Jaime and Tyrion share a look....... what the fuck was that scene? how the fuck did he get in? wtf is happening? why are they getting shaken down by some shithead like Bronn when they have an army that includes a shapeshifting world-class assassin and a psychic boy who can astral project through time and space and control animals and two giant dragons? why doesn't Jaime just go tell a guard right now to arrest him lmao? what the fuck is happening?



anyway then we see The Hound taking a horse through the snow when he looks over to see "oh for fuck sake" as Arya pulls up beside him and he sadly explains "I don't like crowds" and starts chiding her for being the new hero but Arya just says "I don't like heroes" but The Hound is sure "must have felt good sticking a knife in that horned fucker" and Arya just mumbles "felt better than dying" as they ride together and she realizes "heading to King's Landing" and he says almost sadly as he knows this will probably be his final fight "I have some unfinished business" and Arya says "me too" yeah shoulda really just gone merced Cersei back in the first ep of season 7 and then your side wouldn't have lost most of their Greyjoy fleet and the Dornish and Tyrell armies lmao and they awkwardly look at each other but keep riding together as The Hound warns "I don't plan on coming back" and Arya says "neither do I" as I guess she figures her dumbass retard brother Jon is going to doom their family with his autistic incest ways and mercing Cersei before it all kicks off is the best outcome for them, although maybe she should, you know, fucking tell anyone what he's going to do so they can co-ordinate and not have a pointless war? that too much to ask? and The Hound grumbles to his old companion "gonna leave me to die again if I get hurt?" which cheers Arya up and she smiles a bit and says "probably" and The Hound just smirks, I love these two together even if Arya is obnoxious but they're a good fit for each other



and then we see Dany with her two dragons, who have clearly just eaten a bunch of livestock judging from the burnt skeletons and ashes on the ground, with the green one surviving but he still has a big hole in his wing, and Dany and Drogon watch as he forces himself into the air and manages to flap his wings super hard to take flight anyway, and they both look on proud of him for overcoming his injuries, wonder if they can just like stitch some bedsheets to cover up the hole or something lol



and then Sansa is on the ramparts looking up at Drogon following his brother around as he tries to get the hang of flying with his injuries up in the sky and she looks a bit scared as she knows those things'll probably be turned on them eventually and Tyrion comes up and tries to joke around with his wife but Sansa ain't in the mood and just asks "why her?" and Tyrion tries to tell her she loves Jon but Sansa doesn't think she'll be a good Queen and Tyrion calls out her bias and says the North and Iron Throne working together is vital for peace and Sansa says Jon being Warden will be fine and Tyrion hints that he wont be keeping the position as he'll probably be down South I guess but he's probably implying she'll have the position and Sansa just sighs it's up to him knowing it's probably all fucked anyway as Dany is inevitably going to turn on him and Tyrion asks her to look at him and Sansa struggles to scared he'll be able to figure out she's keeping something important from him and probably about Jon and Dany's relationship but he just assures her she'll be the one with true power and tries to convince her to ally with Dany and Sansa plays it off as no big deal but he knows there's an issue as they look over and see the Unsullied marching out and he tries to reason with her not to provoke her but and Sansa realizes smuggly "you're afraid of her" and Tyrion pathetically says "every good ruler needs to inspire a bit of fear" as if he really is cowtowed by Dany and Sansa admits "I don't want Jon to go down there, the men in my family don't do well in the capital" yeah you can say that again and Tyrion tries to quip that he's not a Stark afterall but it's a bad time for a meme as Sansa looks off super shook knowing who Jon's true parentage is and Tyrion tries to assure her Dany has loyalty because everyone believes she wants to make the world a better place which Sansa just ignores lmao and he walks away sadly but oh here we go SHE COULDN'T KEEP HER FUCKING GOB SHUT FOR TWO FUCKING SCENES she turns and says "Tyrion... what if there's someone else... someone better?" I mean she's probably doing the right thing they really do need to merc Dany and put Jon in place since she's clearly off her nut to anyone who's had more than half a conversation with her so I can't blame her for looking out for her family but I can blame Jon for being so fucking stupid as to genuinely side with Dany and to tell anyone especially his sisters who are obviously going to want whats best for him if the outcome he doesn't want is people trying to overthrow Dany like agonizingly obviously knowing he has a claim to the throne is not going to make them want to side with Dany more what the FUCK is wrong with Jon? ah yes shit writing I forgot



then speak of the autist Jon is getting his horse ready to ride South and Tormund turns up joking about how not riding his dragon instead and Jon says Rhaegal needs to heal without him weighing him down and Tormund jokes "you weigh as much as two fleas fucking" ah another manlet joke nice and Jon laughs at his buds classic sense of humor and Tormund lets him know he's taking the free folk home as they've had enough of the South and leans in to admit "the women down here don't like me" still asshurt about Brie turning him down and Jon reminds him of the meme that this is actually the North and says he's welcome to stay aka he needs their numbers in his army lol but Tormund just shrugs "it isn't home" and says he'll take them back to Castle Black once the winter storms pass which might be a fucking while, don't know why they even bother since Castle Black is to keep away the White Walkers that are gone and the Wildlings that are... living there lol, and Jon looks at Ghost and figures "it's where he belongs too, a direwolf has no place in the South... will you take him with you? he'll be happier up there" and Tormund tells him seriously "so would you" and Jon admits "I wish I was going with you... this is farewell then" and Tormund gives him a loving hug saying "you never know" and assures him "you got the North in you, the real North!" and then walks off, aww sweet Tormund (who's a savage who butchered civilians and showed zero signs of changing in any way lmao) and then Sam and Gilly turn up and they awkwardly nod to each other and Jon gives Gilly a hug and feels something... and looks down in shock, and she looks happy, and Sam just smiles and nods as... SAM FINALLY GOT GILLY PREGNANT! no more my wife's father's brother-son memes for him and he makes jokes about how there's not much to do in Oldtown and Gilly assures her awkward husband "I'm sure he know how it happens Sam" and tells him confidently "if it's a boy we want to name him Jon" having lost her thick mumbling accent completely and talking quite eloquently now and Jon cringes and says "I hope its a girl" and looks down sad like he hates being himself and wouldn't wish it on anyone else and Sam can tell he's got so much weight on his shoulders so doesn't say anything and they just hug tightly like brothers and Sam tears up and tells him "you're the best friend I ever had" and Jon starts tearing up too and says "you too Sam" and walks off giving one last look to Ghost who despite having half a fucking ear bitten off still paces towards him expecting to follow his master anywhere and Jon looks briefly proud and walks off and Ghost looks down sad he's going off without him as he gets on his horse and rides out with Davos leaving Tormund, Sam, Gilly and even Ghost walks off to watch Jon leave awww



and then with Dany's remaining fleet Grey Worm and Missy are standing on the mastership with her looking happily at him that they both survived but she looks over to see he's frowning probably about all the men he lost but she takes his hand and gets a smile out of him as they approach Dragonstone or whatever Stannis' old castle was called and inside the ship Tyrion is drunk and talking to Varys about how all the shit that went down in the last 20 years all happened because Robert Baratheon loved someone who didn't love him back and I guess he's fucking told Varys who just wants to get down to the nitty gritty of "how many others know?" and Tyrion answers "including us? eight" so who is that? first was Sam and Bran discovering it who told Jon who told Dany who told Arya and Sansa who told Tyrion who told Varys who concludes oh the tea has well and truly been spilled sis explaining "well then it's not a secret anymore, it's information: if a handful of people know now then hundreds will know soon, then what happens?" and Tyrion figures "she loses the North, she loses the Vale, Sansa will make sure of that" but Varys knows "its worse than that, he has the better claim to the throne" thanks patriarchy and Tyrion tries to avoid the obvious by saying "he doesn't want the throne" but Varys knows "it doesn't matter what he wants, the fact is people are drawn to him: Wildlings, Northmen, he's a war hero" yeah he sure is a charming one that gormless retard Jon but Tyrion says "he loves our Queen.... and she loves him... if we marry them they could rule together?" but Varys reminds him "she's his aunt" rofl but Tyrion reminds him "that never stopped a Targaryen before" oh muh incest and Varys reminds him that ain't normal for the North and probably knowing the answer full well tries to appease Tyrion's anxiety by making him feel needed and asks "you know our Queen better than I do, do you think she wants to share the throne?" and Tyrion gives him a shifty look as if he knows he's trying to manage him and Varys warns "she doesn't like having her authority questioned" and Tyrion tries to hide from the reality by saying "something she has in common with every monarch who ever lived" and Varys admits "I worry about her state of mind" and Tyrion reminds him that's their job and looks down sadly and then suggests the outcome "maybe Cersei will win and kill us all, that would solve our problems" lmao and the anchors get dropped down as the Targ fleet arrives back at homebase and the two dragons over the ships with Dany on board the bigger one as they fly towards the castle whRHAEGAL TAKES A BALLISTA BOLT TO THE CHEST OUT OF NOWHERE OH SHIIIIIIIIIT



AND HE TAKES ANOTHER THROUGH HIS WING AAAAAAAAA AND HE TRIES TO PULL THE ONE IN HIS CHEST OUT BUT ANOTHER HITS HIS FUCKING NECK NOOOOAAAAAAAAAAA AND HE FLAILS ABOUT SPEWING A HUGE TORRENT OF BLOOD OUT OF HIS MOUTH

WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF AIMBOT BULLSHIT IS THIIIIIIIIIIIIIS? REPORT THESE HACKERS!!!



AND HE WRITHES AROUND IN THE AIR BUT CANT KEEP HIS WINGS MOVING AND GARGLES BLOOD INTO THE AIR AND JUST TIPS OVER PLUMMETING DOWN GIVING ONE LAST AGONIZED SCREECH THAT ECHOS OVER THE SEA AND TYRION AND VARYS RUSH TO THE DESK TO SEE RHAEGALS CORPSE CRASHING INTO THE OCEAN



AND DANY DOESN'T HAVE TIME TO REACT AS SHE DODGES OUT THE WAY OF A FOURTH BALLISTA BOLT FLYING RIGHT BY HER AND SHE LOOKS DOWN TO SEE... THE IRON FLEET, WITH EVERY BOAT ARMED WITH A BALLISTA OH SHIIIIIIT AND EURON IS MANNING THE ONE ON HIS MASTERSHIP AND TAKES AIM AT DROGON AND DANY SUPER MADDOGS HIM AND MAKES A "EEEEEH!" NOISE AS SHE LEANS IN TO SEND DROGON FLYING DOWN DIRECTLY AT THE FLEET OF DOZENS OF SHIPS



AS EURON HAS HIS MEN READJUST THE BALLISTA TO FOLLOW THEM DOWN AND DANY STARTS PANTING WITH DETERMINATION AS DROGON SETS INTO A DIVE AND EURON'S FACE GOES FROM A GRIN TO SERIOUS AS HE SEES THE DRAGON HEADING STRAIGHT TOWARDS HIM AND DANY SCREAMS "RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGHHHH!!!" DIVEBOMBING HIS SHIP LIKE A FUCKING KAMAKAZI PILOT



AND EURON FIRES AND ALL OF HIS OTHER SHIPS FIRE TOO FORCING DANY TO TAKE DROGON ON EVASIVE MANOEUVRES TO AVOID THE BOLTS FLYING AT THEM AND THEY JUST HAVE TO TURN AROUND AND GET OUT OF THEIR RANGE AND DANY LOOKS SUPER RUSTLED AND HER OWN FLEET LOOKS UP AS SHE GOES IN THE OPPOSITE DIRECTION WITH DANY LOOKING SAD... BUT THEN EURON GETS A FUN IDEA AND AIMS HIS BALLISTA... AT DANY'S FLEET!



AND GREY WORM CAN ALREADY TELL WHATS ABOUT TO HAPPEN AND ORDERS MISSY "GET TO THE SKIFF... NOW!" AND THE MUSIC GETS INTENSE AS THE MEN ALL RUSH TO THEIR BATTLE STATIONS AND EURON GETS A HUGE GRIN AND FIRES FOLLOWED BY ALL HIS OTHER SHIPS AS... DANY'S SHIPS ARE TORN APART BY MASSIVE BALLISTA BOLTS!!!



AND GREY WORM IS KNOCKED OFF HIS FEET AND TYRION RUNS AS FAST AS HIS LITTLE LEGS CAN CARRY HIM AS HIS SHIP HIS TORN APART AND A BALLISTA WHIZZES OVER THE DECK TAKING APART THE RAILINGS RIGHT BESIDE HIM AND THE STAIRS HE WAS HEADING FOR GET TORN APART ALONG WITH A SOLDIER TOO



SO HE TURNS BACK AND AS THE OTHER RAILINGS AND MASTS ALL AROUND HIM ARE GETTING SHREDDED HE HAS NO CHOICE BUT TO JUMP OVERBOARD INTO THE SEA AND WHEN HE SWIMS TO THE SURFACE HE LOOKS UP TO SEE THE MAST COLLAPSING ON TOP OF HIM



and cut to black wooo boiiiii and then on the shores of Dragonstone the crew of Dany's ships are washing up on the beach and Varys is with Tyrion (who I guess survived getting crushed by a mast fine ok duuuuuuuuuuuuude) looking like he's about to fucking vomit and Grey Worm staggers up as he looks back to see the ruined ship but he's only got one thing on his mind and starts screaming for Missy and without even thinking he runs back into the ocean and swims out to find her, welp two dragons down one to go, seems a bit narrative convenient that there's only one left to deal with now and of course it was the secondary dragon not her main mount and it seems a bit contrived she wouldn't see, you know, an entire fleet of enemy warships in the, you know, ocean from, you know, flying in the fucking air which the only point of should be to scout ahead, in the after-show thing DnD literally explain this as "Dany kind of forgot the Iron Fleet" lmao what?, like at least make this more believable by having it be really foggy and at night so she can't see the fleet but Rhaegal cheekily spits some fire at his brother to give away his position or something and you'd think if dragons were such important war tools someone would have invented a big ass crossbow before



but I am a sucker for characters suddenly getting blown away out of nowhere for Realisms Bitch™ so go ahead and just fuck all my favorite characters up the ass its whatever at this stage



and then back in KL Cersei is watching out her window as a crowd of shitty CGI people gather and she asks Qyburn "our message was well received then?" and he says "your people have heard the Usurper is coming, they are grateful for your protection within the walls of the Red Keep" and Cersei who is looking very done up in the make-up department wants to make sure the dragon is dead and Euron slithers up assuring her he saw it sink and Cersei teases "that must have been glorious" and Euron bigs up the dedication by getting down on his knees and assuring her "the glory is yours my Queen" and Cersei takes his chin in her hand and assures him "when the war is over the Lion shall rule the land, the Kraken shall rule the sea... and our child shall one day rule them all" and Euron struggles to maintain his composure at the news and looks at Qyburn for confirmation as Cersei is trying to play off her pregnancy by her brother as his like she did to Robert lmao but methinks Euron isn't as (probably wilfully) ignorant as Rob and will call BS as soon as he sees some blonde hair and merc them both or some shit and he holds Cersei but then reminds her "she's coming for you" and Cersei sneers "of course she is, keep the gates open, if she she wants to take the castle she'll have to murder thousands of innocent people first" using the ol Colonel Gaddafi "offer citizens refuge in my palace... to use as human shields lmao" gambit and then she walks off and quips "so much for the Breaker of Chains" as it's revealed THEY HAVE MISSY HELD CAPTIVE uhhhh how did Euron even know she's important? because she was at the parlay in the season 7 finale? or maybe because she was in the skiff and she'd be important to be given the escape boat I guess although I'm wondering if Euron's fleet fucked up Dany's fleet why didn't he just... you know... siege the beach and kill all of Dany's remaining forces? scared of Drogon coming back? well they have like dozens and dozens of ballistas so...



and back in Dragonstone, which is far closer to KL than Winterfell so Cersei should have really figured out Dany was using as a staging ground and tried to take it back or fill it with boobytraps or just demolish it or something, as Dany tips over one of the wargame pieces of a dragon a rustled Grey Worm assures her "we will storm the city my queen, we will kill your enemies, all of them" hyped up about Missy missing and probably dead and Varys tries to speak up saying "Your Grace... I promised you I'd look you in the eye and speak directly if I ever thought you were making a mistake" and she just maddogs him as he says "this is a mistake" as he stares right back and Dany rants "you saw my child fall from the sky" OH MY GOD SHE REALLY IS YE OLDE FACEBOOK DOG MOM and he nods and she adds "they took Missandei" WAIT HOW DO THEY KNOW SHE'S CAPTURED AND NOT DEAD? ploooot hooooooooole I guess just wishful thinking unless Cersei sent them a raven about it and Varys assures her "Cersei needs to be destroyed but if we attack King's Landing with Drogon and the Unsullied and the Dothraki tens of thousands of innocents will die" wait I thought we saw all the Dothraki and Unsullied get zombie'd last episode like literally we saw it happen on-screen or were there reserves of the inside the castle or did some just like run away from the battle during the carnage lol and he spells it out obviously "that is why Cersei is bringing them into the Red Keep" and how does he know oh why do I even ask and Dany just maddogs him but looks down a bit and he literally begs her "do not destroy the city you came to save" literally why would she even consider this other than she's off her nut? just do the meme of starving them out until they believe they just want Cersei gone and abandon her, it's not like there's a time constraint now the Night King got anime'd, and he goes on "do not become what you have always struggled to defeat" and Dany looks at him completely deadeyed and asks "do you believe we're here for a reason, Lord Varys?" and he gets shook seeing it's hopeless and she tells him "I'm here to free the world from tyrants... that is my destiny... and I will serve it no matter the cost" and grimaces and walks off right time to nuke some civvies for no fucking reason then this will definitely get her more supporters good idea and Tyrion warns while studying the warmap "it could be a fortnight before Jon and the allied armies make it to King's Landing" and suggests offering Cersei her life for a surrender but Dany shakes her head slightly and Tyrion insists they make the effort to avoid a slaughter but Dany is assured "speaking to Cersei will not avoid a slaughter... but perhaps it's better for the people to see that Daenery's Stormborn made every effort to avoid bloodshed... and Cersei Lannister refused, they should know who to blame when the sky falls down upon them" as her flicker around as she games it out and then looks up with disgust for Cersei making her do this wtf Emilia Clark suddenly learned how to act and Tyrion looks sad as there's no way to avoid the carnage and Varys just shuts his gob



then in the throneroon Varys tells Tyrion "I've served tyrants my whole life, they ALL talk about destiny" and Tyrion reminds him "she's a girl that walked into a fire with three stones and walked out with three dragons, how could she not believe in destiny?" yeah it's almost as if she's a Mary Sue in a contrived story! and Varys figures "perhaps that's the problem? her life has convinced her that she was sent here to save us all" and Tyrion still cant face the music and asks "how do you know she wasn't?" and Varys just ignores him as he's unable to stand the heat but cant get out the kitchen and brings up "and then there's the problem of Jon Snow" using that last name that doesn't really apply anymore to try and get Tyrion thinking logically again and he suggests "perhaps it's actually a solution? you know them both, tell me, who do you think would make a better ruler?" and Tyrion just looks sad pouring more wine and says "he doesn't want to rule that's why he bent the knee" and Varys does the meme "have you ever thought the best person to rule might be someone who doesn't want to rule?" and Tyrion warns him "we're discussing treason" and Varys chides "don't pretend you haven't thought about it" and Tyrion says "of course I've thought about it, thoughts aren't treason" well Dany would probably disagree lel and Varys keeps at it "he's moderate, he's temperate, he's a man, which makes him more appealing to the lords of Westeros, who's support we are going to need" and Tyrion goes full tumblr "Joffrey was a man, I don't think a cock is a true qualification as I'm sure you'd agree" but Varys reminds him "and he's the heir to the throne, yes, because he's a man, cocks are important I'm afraid" lmao Varys is a Level 5 MGTOW trying to redpill Tyrion that women are shit leaders thanks patriarchy and Tyrion slurs "what about my earlier proposal? they could rule as King and Queen" but Varys knows "she's too strong for him, she'd bend him to her will as she already has" lmao beta male Jon already pussywhipped and by his aunt no less and Tyrion mumbles hopelessly like he can barely even bother to pretend this wont end in a nightmare "he could temper her worst impulses" and Varys points out "as you have?...... you're drinking quite a lot...... a Targaryen father and a Stark mother, Jon's the one man alive who might actually be able to keep the North and the Seven Kingdoms" wait is the North not one of the 7 Kingdoms? I just realized I don't even know what all 7 are, all I remember is Dorne isn't one of them and Tyrion snaps "how many King's have you served? 5? 6? 7? I've lost count" and Varys drawls "you've always known my reasons" but Tyrion keeps prodding his flip flopping and Varys growls "even if you know it's a mistake?" and Tyrion has no other option so pathetically says "I believe in our Queen, she'll make the right choice... with the help of her LOYAL advisers" but Varys insists "you know where my loyalties lie, you know I'll never betray The Realm" and Tyrion goes full Maggy Thatcher and argues "what IS The Realm? a vast continent home to millions of people most of whom don't care who sits on the Iron Throne!" and Varys reminds him "millions of people who will die if the wrong person sits on that throne, we don't know their names but they're just as real as you and I, they deserve to live, they deserve food for their children" yeah! off-screen NPC rights now! and Tyrion looks up sad as Varys assures him "I will act in their interest no matter the personal cost" and Tyrion just looks like hes about to cry from how better a person Varys is than him as he whines "and what happens to her?" and when Varys gives him a dodgy look he begs "please... don't" knowing it'll cost him his life and Varys just says "I've spoken as honestly as I can, each of us has a choice to make, I pray we choose wisely" as if even he's looking to mysticism now




then back at Winterfell Jaime walks out to see the NPCs rebuilding the castle and spots Brie and Sansa reading a note and he looks rustled that he doesn't have her all to herself so follows them into a courtyard and asks what happened as they look concerned and Brie gives him the bad news of the day and Sansa gives him a cunty look "I always wanted to be there when they execute your sister, seems like I wont get the chance" and walks off and Brie looks concerned at her sadistic attitude and Jaime just looks sad at his JUSTed life and inside is worrying by himself over what'll happen to his sister and KL and he looks behind at Brie back in his bed and is worried about how she'll take it if he does what he's about to do which is leave and she sits up hearing the door close and looks around worried an then outside he's fiddling to get his horse ready with his one hand as Brie comes up somehow only wearing a cloak in the freezing winter weather at night and DAMN that bitch is tall warns him "they're going to destroy that city, you know they will" but Jaime just asks "have you ever run away from a fight?" and she passionately grabs his face forcing him to look at her and insists "you're not like your sister, you're not, you're better than she is, you're a good man and you can't save her, you don't need to die with her, stay here... stay with me... please... stay" and breaks down crying as she's finally found a man who'll love and respect her but Jaime just tears up and says "you think I'm a good man?" and she looks scared as she knows he's right and he reminds her "I pushed a boy out a tower window, crippled him for life, for Cersei... I strangled my cousin with my own hands... just to get back to Cersei... I would have murdered every man woman and child in Riverrun... for Cersei" and Brie gasps at the horror of the situation and Jaime admits "she's hateful... and so am I..." wait... what? wh-... why's he... what's happening now? is he going to confront Cersei to get her to call off Bronn so he doesn't hurt his brother or something? no that would be vaguely coherent I think this is for real



and Brie breaks down in emotional agony as her first love PUMPS AND DUMPS HER to go fuck his sociopath mass murdering sister who just sent a hitman after him lmao, this is pretty fucking retarded since obviously when he left KL it was in the knowledge that Cersei is in ride or die more and will never stop trying to fuck over her rivals even if zombies are coming to kill them all to the extent that she threatened him and he went up to Winterfell ready to ride or die himself for the good of the Realm and has just found love with the first actual healthy relationship of his life after surviving hell itself... why the fuck is he going back to Cersei? because he heard she's probably going to die? he already fucking knew that when he went up there, you'd think they could have hinted that having sex with Brie actually didn't make him happy at all and just reminded him of how much he's perfect in a fucked up twisted way for Cersei or something, but it was only a problem when they told him what the letter said, and it just makes Jaime seem like a fucking idiot if he went up there to throw his life away for the battle but like didn't figure he'd probably never see his sister again lmao



then on a dodgy greenscreen effect we see the Unsullied army during the day and we pan over Grey Worm, Varys, Dany and down to Tyrion all looking up at... Cersei, Euron, The Mountain and Missy on top of the front gate of King's Landing that also has dozens of ballistas mounted along the wall and we pan around to see they're all pointed at the gang of four main characters and only like 100 Unsullied and Drogon is pacing around angrily in the background uhhhhh couldn't they very easily just kill all of Dany's forces here lmao? like just start shooting at Drogon since he's her best asset and take her out too wtf, but ok duuuuuuuuuuuude and the Unsullied all snap into formation as Dany maddogs Cersei who looks super smug at her and then.... the gates open... the reveal Qyburn walking out by himself... who walks across the open ground as Cersei shuffles a bit impatiently as she wants to see her brother put in an awkward situation and his face trips him as he walks out to meet Qyburn, two Hands of their Queens, and Dany tenses up as Cersei looks super smug as the men meet



and Qyburn says "my Lord" smuggly but Tyrion just says "Queen Daenerys demands Cersei's unconditional surrender and the immediate release of Missandei of Naarth" and Qyburn replies "Queen Cersei demands Daenery's unconditional surrender, if she refuses Missandei of Naath will die here and now" awwwwwwwww shit and Tyrion's face twitches and he tries "Qyburn... you're a rational man" and Qyburn quips "or so I flatter myself, my Lord" but Tyrion ain't in a memeing mood and warns "we have a chance here... perhaps our last change to avoid carnage..." and Qyburn agrees "yes" and Tyrion begs "help me, I don't want to see this city burn, I don't want to hear the screams of children burning alive" and Qyburn creepily says "no, it is not a pleasant sound" and Tyrion awkwardly tries again "I... I don't want to hear it? help me save this city" and Qyburn just looks at him like he doesn't really give a shit at all and has no attachment to any of this as he says "my Lord, I only a mouthpiece for our Queen" and Tyrion reminds him "your Queen" but Qyburn reminds him "Queen Cersei is Queen of the Seven Kingdom's, you are her subject" and Tyrion knows "her reign is over, you understand this, help her understand it" and Qyburn tells him "we understand nothing of the sort... your Queen's last dragon is vulnerable, your armies are battle-weary and depleted, while ours have been reinforced with the Golden Compan-" yeah almost like you should SHOOT DROGON RIGHT NOW huh retard



but Tyrion just walks by this little shit straight towards the gates of his old home as Dany looks on concerned and he marches straight up to the front door and a captain orders his men to nock their bows and draw as they take aim at Tyrion and everyone tenses up as he keeps approaching and looks up at his sister... who breathes heavy... and raises an arm... and smiles... as if he's about to fucking cum at the power she holds of having her little shit brother shredded any second she wants... but she puts her hand down (which is thankfully not misinterpreted by her captains as "let the arrows go" lmao)



and the archers lower their bows and everyone sighs with a bit of relief and Cersei looks mad at Tyrion like she hates that she still cares about him a little and Tyrion says awfully quiet for a small man so far down "I know you don't care about your people... why should you? they hate you and you hate them!.... but you're not a monster... I know this... I know this because I've seen it... you've always loved your children... more than yourself... more than Jaime... more than anything... I beg you... if not for yourself then for your child... your reign is over... but that doesn't meant your life has to end... it doesn't mean your baby has to die..." hang on a fucking minute... doesn't Euron wonder how Tyrion knows she's pregnant if he thinks he only knocked her up a few weeks ago lmao? fucking dumbass pirate cuck



and for that matter shouldn't her baby bump be showing by now? how does time even move on this show? and Cersei gets super teared up and looks around awkwardly as she hates that he's right and she sighs and swallows hard as she considers just surrendering... but then she looks back over at Dany... who maddogs her... and then Cersei takes Missy's arm... and Dany walks over with Grey Worm right beside her... and Tyrion braces himself as Cersei whispers to Missy "if you have any last words now is the time" and Missy looks down defeated but gathers her wits and makes eye contact with Grey Worm and gives a little nod to him... and Dany braces herself for the horror... as Missy says... again a bit quiet for such distance "DRACARYS" ooh you fucking cunt, should have just fucking grabbed Cersei and jumped off the wall to kill her too lmao since she's gonna die anyway



and Dany gets the message and Cersei smiles as if she would literally prefer King's Landing to get nuked along with her rather than them just usurp her a more tactful way now that she's chosen to go out fighting and Tyrion whispers to himself "no..." as Cersei gives into the darkness and turns to the abomination of what's left of The Mountain and he simply walks forward... puts his hand on his sword... and to Grey Worms horror... he takes it out... and THE MOUNTAIN BEHEADS MISSANDEI EDGY, I LIKE IT COUNT: 140 and there's a great take from Grey Worm where he has to turn around as he looks like that meme of the kid trying not to shit himself in class



as he's about to vomit seeing the first and last and even if he survives probably only love of his horrible mutilated life killed and dropped off a wall like a stray dog



and he struggles to compose himself as Cersei looks down super smug like she loves emotionally abusing her little brother one last time by killing his friend and dooming everyone there to burn in hellfire in this life or the next and Dany struggles to compose herself too but steels herself by glaring daggers at Cersei until she's focused only on vengeance and just walks away and Tyrion looks around defeated that there will not be any peace and Cersei glares down at him like fuck it all bitch and Dany storms away with her face barely containing her rage JUST FUCKING SHOOT DANY AND DROGON RIGHT NOW YOU DUMB THOT



alright well that was a very well acted scene even if the logic of it is a bit wonky like the only reason Dany's party are alive is that Cersei is as off her nut as she is and wants carnage like they got 3 for 3 hits on the green dragon who's name I already forgot from floating platforms as he's flying in the air like a mile in the sky but can't hit a stationary Drogon from a stationary platform when he's only like 300m away? why would Dany even let Drogon just pace around in the background? he's her only real way to beat Cersei in a full on war lmao



and rip Missy who never really god any character development other than her relationship with Grey Worm which didn't change or display anything new about her since she seemed like an understanding compassionate person from when we first met her and of course that characterization is thrown out the window since this is season 8 and she uses her last words to ensure mass death and I get that her being dead is meant to explain why Dany will be acting so emotionally compromised in the next two eps I assume but she had already made the decision to nuke KL and just wanted to blame Cersei for not surrendering so it's kind of a pointless point, overall the episode had more drama action and actual action than the first two but is still very "housekeeping" of moving shit around to be in the right place and position for the story to continue and there were a lot of dodgy scenes like the retardation with Bronn and Jaime flip flopping on his character development and maybe I'd bring up Jon spilling the beans, tea and milk all in one go but honestly that's completely consistent with his very well established charaterization of being a massive fucking idiot so whatever and there's also the question as to why Cersei is suddenly omnicidal when her whole character is being motivated by her children but I guess we just have to assume she doesn't trust Dany to let her live since now we are well into the characters serving the story where there needs to be a big climax war rather than the story serving the characters like it was in the first half of the show since DnD and for that matter no other writers in hollywood can write the sociological based stories GRRM seems to be able to where the characters are effected by the world around them like in real life and not the usual generic contrivred the world revolves around the main casts interpersonal drama while everyone else is a placeholder NPC bullshit that's on every other TV show and now this one also uhhhh is it just me or wasn't King's Landing surrounded by forrest and not... like... empty desert? thanks global warming I guess speaking of which I guess it's fair to say that we're not getting anymore Night King or White Walker content which is very lame but something that doesn't really sit well with me at all even within the universe is like why do none of the characters care about that lmao don't you think they'd be asking questions like so who the fuck was that dude who can raise zombies and wtf did it have to do with Bran and aren't we lucky he mighta been fire proof but he wasn't Valyrian steel proof? it's like the writers were embarassed to have the zombies in the show and just want all the characters to not mention it lul, and they dont even have the excuse that they're handling someone elses story since they came up with the idea for the Night King since he's not in the books





Game of Thrones 8x05: "The Bells"
WHOS A MARY SUE NOW BITCH? special edition
First aired: May 12, 2019

alright... think we're in for some dank ass shit here boi.......



and as if to let you know that indeed some quite dank ass shit is gonna happen this ep the previously on segment ends with the shot of Dany watching Missy get beheaded and there's like voice overs of Varys saying "he has the better claim to the throne" Cersei saying "every time a Targyarian is born the God's flip a coin" old Barry may he rip saying "the Mad King gave his enemies the justice he thought they deserved" Tyrion saying "children are not their fathers" Lady Tyrell saying "be a dragon!" Jorah assuring her "you have a gentle heart" old Maester Aagon or whatever saying "a Targyrian alone in the world is a terrible thing" and Viserion (the human) threatening "you don't want to awake the dragon do you?" and then there's suddenly an ear-rape sound effect of static and human screaming lmao as if to depict the inner struggle in her (including sentences that she'd never heard before) and it was pretty weird since it's like giving us character information you'd think would actually be in the show but in a way that's pretty corny and obviously put together by a separate team most likely but it feels like almost a fucking fan-edit to try and add more context to the show or something so uhhhhhh yeah we're in for a ride I think



and we open on Varys composing ye olde tweet with Jon's full doxx in it and he gets a knock on the door and covers the letter as he brings a nervous little girl in who tells him "she wont eat" and he taps nervously on the table and he says "we'll try again at supper" and she warns him that her soldiers are watching her but Varys reassures her that "of course they are, that's their job" and holds out a hand to hold hers so we feel bad for him telegraphing something bad will happen to him lol and asks "what have I told you Martha?" WHY'D YOU SAY THAT NAME sorry and she answers "the greater the risk the greater the reward" idk not always people do some dumbass shit for no reason (like writing this thread lmao) and he sends her off back to the kitchen, I wonder where Dany got all the staff for Dragonstone? like is that girl a Dothraki or from Meereen or what? and they just brought her with them? ok duuude



and then on the shore we see Tyrion looking edgily at Varys as he welcomes Jon ashore who tells him his army will be at KL in two days and Varys tells him Dany hasn't left her chambers or eaten any food since the drama, lol Dany has become pro-ana and Varys notes that Jon's worried for her and when he asks isn't he he says he's worried for them all and tells the meme about the gods flipping a coin to see if a Targ will be mental or not and dopey as fuck Jon says "we not much for riddles where am frum" the way the Northerners are depicted in this show is literally like the DA NORF meme making fun of Northern English "nah do poofta riddles up ere mate, jus set me staffy Ghost on a cunt and go for a chippy we the lads, simple as" is basically Jon's entire characterization and Varys warns Jon "we both know what she's about to do" and Jon being the muh honor retard he is says that's her choice as Queen but Varys goes full r/mensrights and says "men decide where power resides whether or not they know it" and Jon insists "what do you want?" and Varys says "what I've always wanted: the right ruler on the Iron Throne, I still don't know how her coin has landed" you know it'd make a lot more sense for it to have been Varys who arranged for Joffrey's death and not CIA since his reasoning of "lol it was just something to do at random so I'm le unpredictable" was incoherent and he could have got Sansa out of KL some other way but the result was the more stable Tommen on the throne which Varys would have supported but oh well motivations that make sense are long gone by now but Varys assures Jon "but I'm quite certain about yours" and Jon looks around even more burdened than usual and insists "I don't want it, I never have" and Varys sighs and says "I have known more Kings and Queens than any man living, I've heard what they say to crowds and seen what they do in the shadows, I have furthered their designs however horrible, but what I tell you now is true: you will rule wisely and well, while she-" but Jon insists "she... is my Queen" and storms off because he's such a fucking faggot about his worthless oaths that he should have really learned by now gets Stark's killed



then in the planning room Tyrion comes in to see Dany who's staring out to sea, probably thinking about her dragon's body under the waves, and he tells her "there's something you need to know" and Dany already figures "someone has betrayed me" (which I guess is why she's not eating? she's scared someone will poison her?) and a scared Tyrion says "yes" hoping she doesn't think it's him but she guesses "Jon Snow", which she's right about since he told his sisters their secret for literally no reason lmao, and he tries to big himself up to say "Varys" and a very tired looking Dany deduces "he knows the truth about Jon" and Tyrion knows what that would mean but admits "he does" in a quiet voice and Dany knows the only possibility is "because you told him" I guess maybe that was Cersei's play, she knows Dany is known to be extremely ruthless, so if she puts her in a position where everyone knows she'd probably go apeshit and nuke King's Landing, her own people will try to stop her, saving her the trouble, which would be a great angle but this is season 8 we're talking about so who knows when it comes to good writing, and Tyrion cant say anything as Dany games it out "you learned from Sansa and she learned from Jon though I begged him not to tell her, as I said... he betrayed me" and looks at him dead-eyed as if now that Jorah is dead the only "person" she can trust left is her fucking dragon and Tyrion tries to say "I'm glad Sansa told me, I am your Hand, I need to be aware of any threats you're facing" and Dany semi-threatens "and Varys?" and Tyrion tries to save his friend "the Master of Whispers needs to be aware too" and Dany admonishes him "you spoke to him first, without coming to me, without asking my permission" and Tyrion gets super shook and admits "it was a mistake" and Dany just glares at him and asks "why do you think Sansa told you? what do you think she hoped to gain?" and he tries to cover for her too scared of Dany going after her and says "she trusts me" and Dany says with barely contained rage "yes... she trusts you... she trusted you to spread secrets... that could destroy your own Queen... and you did not let her down" and scary music starts up quietly in the background as Tyrion begs "if I have failed you my Queen forgive me... our intentions were good... we wanted what you want, a better world, all of us, Varys as much as anyone" and Dany just maddogs him and Tyrion nods knowing there's no talking his way out of this one and realizes "but it doesn't matter now" and Dany agrees "no... it doesn't matter now" and she just turns back to staring out to sea uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I really like scary Dany lmao why couldn't she have been this interesting the entire show, but also I think what's happening here is Tyrion is betraying Varys? I guess he is worried that if Varys tries to replace Dany with Jon it will backfire so bad it'll get a fuck load more people than him killed so he's trying to limit the damage of a failed coup? I guess this is why Varys should never speak honestly with people lmao and especially not someone as obviously emotionally compromised by family drama, recent traumas, fear and alcoholism as Tyrion which kind of makes Varys seem like he's lost a few like hundred IQ points but that's nuGoT for ya



then in Varys chambers he is writing another note and when he hears soldiers coming he rushes to burn it and put it in a pot and he knows whats about to happen so takes his rings off and puts them away and just sits there was Grey Worm walks in, who's now an edgy boi himself willing to do anything to avenge his love, and him and his men march Varys down to the shore and Varys bricks it as he sees Tyrion is there and just looking glum like there's nothing he can do to save his friend and all the men surround Varys who stands there trying to be dignified as Dany stares at him and he can tell from even Jon being there not doing shit there's no scheming his way out of this one and Dany nods to Tyrion who walks up and admits "it was me" and Varys just tells him "I hope I deserve this, truly I do, I hope I'm wrong" and Tyrion cant bare to look such a better man than him in the eyes but Varys says "goodbye old friend" and looks kindly at him to show he doesn't hold any grudges to him and Tyrion just puts his hand on his arm and Varys looks down confused like he didn't know Tyrion cared about him that much to drop his usually high emotional guard this much (in a behind the scenes thing someone said the actor playing Varys did that take beacuse Varys has never been even touched before which is such a great little thing it makes me mad they just forgot to write Varys a storyline lmao) and Tyrion looks up at Varys averting his eyes and just walks away as they can't even make eyecontact and Dany approaches Varys and says "Lord Varys" and he inhales sharply and oh my fucking god here comes the fucking namedrop meme she's up to "I, Daenerys of House Targaryen, First of My Name, Breaker of Chains and Mother of Dragons..." but she cuts the memes short because DROGON'S GROWLING MOUTH APPEARS OUT OF THE DARKNESS BEHIND HER AS DANY SAYS "SENTENCE YOU TO DIE"



and Varys doesn't look surprised, even though I'd be pretty surprised how the fuck a giant ass heavily breathing noisy dragon can hide a few feet behind someone, or scared at all because he's been ready to die since he was a little boy in that warlocks basement and Tyrion gives him one last look as Dany says almost bored like she has no enthusiasm for killing someone who's just disappointed her "DRACARYS" and Varys looks up into Drogon's eyes who starts making Jurassic Park T-Rex roars as if he's working out how to kill Varys without hurting his mother and elects to slowly bend his head down closer and over Varys and as Tyrion forces himself to watch and Dany just looks on completely emotionlessly and Jon looks over worried



DROGON IMMOLATES VARYS WITH A QUICK BURST OF DRAGONFIRE



that's uhhhhhh that's it? he didn't even send those letters and isn't trying to poison Dany? all he did was literally ask Jon to do a treason and dumbass Jon is too stupid to realize he should probably warn Dany about that? he wouldn't have some plan to escape when making such bold moves when the character values his own survival so much? and Jon nor Tyrion do shit about it even though he's probably their greatest asset? uhhhhhhh he got the ol CIA treatment didn't he? well congratulations, you got your best character caught in a shit plot, what's the next step of your master script? christ now that I think of it no one even told Varys what happened to his old arch rival they dropped that plotline so hard, now let's see what the actor thought of this most famous role's ending... oh....



fucking rip Varys he was probably the best character in the whole show and the show was at it's peak when him and CIA were having their epic cold war of JUST AS PLANNEDs against each other and the whole show should have just been that but when the writing got shit as soon as they went off-book in season 5 both characters just turned into generic latchers onto power rather than them manipulating power while pretending to be doing that with Varys just attaching himself to Dany even though she's clearly mental and CIA attaching himself to Sansa but then selling her off to an obvious twisted fucking psychopath who could kill her for a laugh at any second since D&D can't write even stupid characters for shit never mind the two most intelligent characters in the show there should have really been more to Varys like from his research into mysticism since he hated it he unfortunately found out that all that shit is real (a plot point set-up when we saw he had the warlock that gelded him and was never mentioned again lul) and his whole motivation was actually defending against the White Walkers but he had zero input into that situation that to the very end was quarantined from the rest of the story as if the zombie shit is almost embarrassing to the showrunners and they want to keep it separate from the actually original and non-generic political machinations of Westeros but you'd think a man who's motivated by helping the common people would be most concerned about the, you know, army of the undead coming to exterminate them all? but no he ended up just another character who got turned into generic lameness from contamination of being around Dany's Mary Sue vortex like Ser Barristan and Tyrion and even Yara, Elly and Lady Tyrell got a dose by season 7 and all got insta-rekt as soon as they teamed up with her lmao hopefully they do something with the letters he was writing but I bet they don't and this is really the end for him since having such a smart character with so many hidden plans just completely give up and go out like a bitch despite it being obviously an extremely dangerous situation he's in going about conspiring against mad lass Dany that's just what this show has become smart characters just blab everything so they can hurry up and kill them off still fingers crossed this is all actually the next step of CIA's masterplan and that really was a faceless man he used as a body double that Arya killed and the final shot of the show is this



then we cut to a fireplace as Dany fiddles with something, I think maybe Missy's old slave collar? and yeah she says that's all she brought with her "her only possession" as Grey Worm looks totally zoned out staring at the fire like his regained humanity died that day with Missy and he just stares at Dany who hands him the collar and they hold it briefly together as if this is the only way they can express themselves anymore and Grey Worm... just tosses Missy's collar into the fire as it's meaningless now... and when Jon walks in Grey Worm instantly turns to him knowing that Dany is losing supporters of the Westerosi and Dany says in Valyrian "it's al right, Torgo Nudho, let me speak with him" don't know wtf that means maybe it's his actual birth name or something and she knows he doesn't even care about trying to identify positively with the name Grey Worm anymore and so he walks off and Jon awkwardly comes up and stands there for a bit not bothering to do anything like give his condolences for her recent losses or anything and Dany just stares at him like what you little bitch and then asks "what did I say would happen if you told your sister?" and Jon pathetically tries to explain "I don't want it and that's what I told him" but Dany says "she betrayed your trust... she killed Varys as much as I did... this is victory for her... now she knows what happens when people hear the truth about you... far more people in Westeros love you than love me... I don't have love here... I only have fear..." which is an interesting angle that she was popular in Essos for freeing slaves but there are no slaves to free in Westeros so the politics of the situation are far less black and white as "oh she freed the slaves she's a hero" and here she's just like the 20th person that decade to try and steal the Iron Throne from some other power hungry dipshit but at the end of the day she's just using the typical abusive relationship line of "uh actually it's not my fault I attack people it's actually you for making me angry and not loving me enough" and pathetic beta bitch boy Jon falls for it and insists "I love you and you will always be my Queen" and Dany stands up and gets in his face half affectionately and half intimidating "is that all I am to you? your Queen?" YEAH YOU'RE FUCKING AUNT TOO LMAO and she touches her lips against his and he has to give in and kiss her as the fire blazes behind them for some kino and she holds him tight and Jon can't keep it up and breaks the kiss and Dany looks down disappointed as she knows she'll have to merc him too and he looks concerned at her and she just looks blankly at her as she makes the decision in her head and says "alright then" and steps back and tells him "let it be fear" LMAO SHE'S TURNING INTO A VILLAIN BECAUSE HER NEPHEW WONT FUCK HER, FEMCELS RISE UP! why wouldn't Jon see how mental she's going and give in and fuck her? is he that autistic he can't tell she's going off the deep end? all you had to do was fuck your damn aunty Jon



then in the throneroom Tyrion is begging Dany "the people who live there, they're not your enemies, they're innocents, like the ones you liberated in Meereen" but she just says coldly "in Meereen the slaves turned on the masters and liberated the city themselves the moment I arrived" lmao what an entitled bitch and Tyrion tries to excuse "they're afraid! anyone who tries to resist Cersei will see his family butchered, you can't expect them to be heroes, they're hostages" they keep talking about how evil Cersei is but honestly other than bombing the Sept what has she actually done? like ever? like right here Dany says "they are, in a tyrant's grip" how's Cersei a tyrant? what other bad things has she done to KL? it seems like nothing's changed there other than there's less conflict with religious nutters thanks to her lmao, anyway Dany then asks "who's fault is that? mine?" literally and unironically American foreign policy lmao, I'm actually really liking the theme here that Dany is more dangerous than Cersei because at least Cersei admits to herself she's just a sadistic bitter cunt so she only kills people when it's to get at those who fucked with her because she doesn't care what happens to the average person one way or another so the worst she's done is bomb the Sept, but Dany lies to herself that she's a good person and is doing what she does for the greater good and can't face that she's just as selfish and bloodthirsty as Cersei which leads her to doing shit like being about to nuke an entire city to le free le people like how she's knocked over like five other cities and made almost all of them worse and will just keep doing this shit forever with worse and worse force being used all in the name of le greater good because she won't admit her nature is no better than her enemies and just stick to abusing her local rivals like any other dictator, which is American exceptionalism in a nutshell and Tyrion snaps "what does it matter who's fault it is? thousands of children will die if the city burns!" but Dany just explains "your sister knows how to use her enemies weaknesses against them... that's what she thinks our mercy is: weakness" and Tyrion literally says "I bet you my Queen" but she interrupts "but she's wrong... mercy is our strength... our mercy towards future generations who will never again be held hostage by a tyrant" and there's a super awkward silence as Dany orders Grey Worm to take the Unsullied to meet the Northern armies and Tyrion tries his last gambit "Cersei's followers will abandon her if they know the war is lost, give them that chance! if the city surrenders they will ring the bells and raise the gates! please if you hear them ringing the bells call off the attack!" just to really spell it out or the brainlet normie audience I get that he told Jaime to do this but in season 2 Varys and Davos both said bells mean an attack is coming lmao so maybe the soldiers won't realize this and fight even harder and Dany just stares silently at him as if the bit of decency in her is struggling to be let out and she just nods to Grey Worm "wait for me outside the city... you'll know when it's time" uh oooooooooh and Grey Worm nods and marches off and Tyrion knows what that means and looks down defeated and they just stare at each other and Tyrion pathetically bows and very slowly walks off as if he's in a nightmare and can barely move and Dany suddenly announces "your brother was stopped trying to get past our lines" and Tyrion freezes terrified for Jaime as Dany starts up "it seems he hasn't abandoned your sister after all" and Tyrion looks at her knowing what she's about to say as she threatens "the next time you fail me... will be the last time you fail me" and he just scurries away glad she didn't threaten his brother or say he was already murdered and not wanting to give her the chance to say anything else horrible



then in a gloomy King's Landing floods of gaunt looking refugees who must still be reeling from the War of the Five Kings, Northerners escaping the White Walkers advance and just general serfs suffering from the increasingly bad weather are arriving and the guards are letting them in and then we see Tyrion and Jon in a rowboat leaving a ship to meet Davos who's at a camp that's literally a few feet from King's Landings wall as I guess a siege is already underway and Jon walks through Unsullied and Knights of the Vale and other Nothern soldiers as Davos updates them on the rearguard getting there tomorrow but Tyrion says "she wants to attack now" and Jon tries to buy time and say they wait for daybreak and walks off and Tyrion asks Davos for a favor and looks around shiftily and asks "you're the greatest smuggler alive aren't you?" and Davos already knows "I'm not gonna like this favor am I?" then we cut away I'm gonna guess it's to smuggle him into KL again



then at night some soldiers are chatting when suddenly The Hound and Arya ride up to their camp and one of them goes "ay up, where you going?" lmao literally like DA NORF FC memes and Arya looks at her friend and just says "I'm Arya Stark, I'm going to kill Queen Cersei" and the guard stares at her like ya fookin wot m8 and The Hound grumbles "think about it: she kills Cersei, the war's over, there won't be a siege, you might not even die tomorrow" and the man can't believe what he's hearing but isn't a complete brainlet and is of course worried they're just lying and are actually on her side so says "I need to go talk to my captain" and the two killers don't even care anymore and The Hound shrugs saying "go ahead talk to him" and they simply ride on by the soldiers who are too pussy to do anything about it

and we see Tyrion walking up to some Unsullied soldiers and says in very broken Valyrian "I drink to eat the skull keeper" and the Unsullied stares blankly as he tries again "I want to eat the skull keeper" right very funny and very appropriate time for humor during this stage of the story and Tyrion tries once more "I want to see the..." and the Unsullied cuts him off "we speak the common tongue" which is always English in fantasy settings lmao and Tyrion tries to talk him into giving him time with the prisoner, Jaime (who I guess Dany is keeping alive to try and use as leverage over Cersei or something), by offering rest, but the Unsullied say he has orders to guard him, and Tyrion pulls rank saying unless Dany gave the order he outranks whoever gave him the order as Hand and the Unsullied stares at him thinking about it and then looks at his men who all walk away with him having fallen pray to one of Tyrion's last sly talking manipulations and he goes in to meet his brother who finds himself chained to a post once more and he asks "how did they find you?" and Jaime just hands up his golden hand that I guess he was too lazy to put a glove on it and Tyrion half-jokes "did you consider taking it off?" and Jaime admits "Cersei once called me "the stupidest Lannister"" lmaooooooooo fairly accurate tbh and Tyrion chides him for going back to die with Cersei but Jaime thinks he's underestimating her again and Tyrion's angle is to try to get Jaime to talk her out of the current course of action and he's already got the key with him and Jaime exhales sharply at how Tyrion will betray his obviously dangerous Queen for him and what he believes in but he's got cold feet as "when have I ever been able to convince Cersei of anything?" and Tyrion is running out of ideas and tells him "try! if not for her if not for yourself then for every one of the million people in that city, innocent or otherwise" and Jaime admits "to be honest I never really cared much for them... innocent or otherwise" as he's considering going back to his old nihilistic self to throw it all in for his sister (or the writers just forgot he's meant to have changed lmao) and Tyrion insists "you do care for one innocent, I know you do and so does Cersei, she has a reason now" but Jaime figures "the child is the reason she'll never give an inch all the worst things she's ever done she'd done for her children... it's not impossible that she'll win" but Tyrion knows "she wont" and Jaime tries to say she was right about Dany's forces getting depleted and she's down 2 dragons but Tyrion knows for a fact the city will fall since he knows from experience defending it himself last time and Jaime just doesn't give a shit anymore and says then he'll die tomorrow and Tyrion sits down and begs him "why? escape, the two of you together" and tells him there's an escape route where they met by the dragon skulls and a dingy will be waiting for them, aaaaaah that's who he's getting Davos to smuggle, and he begs his brother to take their sister and start a new life in Pentos but Jaime thinks getting past the Iron Fleet is unlikely but Tyrion tells him there won't be one for much longer and begs him "if you don't you'll never see Cersei again... swear to me" and Jaime looks at him like he knows there is no happy ending for him or Cersei and she'd rather die taking the whole world with her than live the misery of being her as some commoner on the run but he tells his brother "you have my word" and Tyrion rushes to unlock his chains and tells him that if it works to ring the bells to signal the surrender and Tyrion quips about returning the favor in freeing him but Jaime warns "your Queen will execute you for this" so it would have been for nothing and Tyrion tries to tell himself "maybe if Danaerys can make it to the Throne without wading through a river of blood maybe she'll show mercy to the person that made that possible" and Jaime looks at him sad as he knows thats bullshit but Tyrion insists "tens of thousands of lives... one not particularly innocent dwarf... it seems like a fair trade"



as he was inspired by how heroic and selfless Varys was I guess and is trying to be like him and he knows this is the last time he'll see his brother who's already tearing up as he figured the same thing but for realises this time and he tells him "if it weren't for you I'd never have survived my childhood" since Jaime used to be a real prick but at least he tried in his own fucked up way to be a big brother to Tyrion like the scheme to get him laid and shit like that and sad music starts up as Jaime insists "you would have" but Tyrion shakes his head and tries to remain calm and tells him "you were the only one who didn't treat me like a monster... you were all I had" and the two brothers just hug each other as Tyrion breaks down crying and so does Jaime who can't even hold him with his fucking golden hand, I really like the relationship between the two of them since they are both away from KL at various times for the first 3 seasons and only get a bit of time together before Tyrion leaves again but what little screentime they have together they make it work to show these two fucked up men really do love each other and Tyrion forces himself to stand up and storms out before he makes it any worse and Jaime just sits there knowing it's all fucked but they have to try anyway, is it just me or did the writers like roll dice to see what these characters would do next or something? is Jaime seriously trying to pretend he doesn't care about the innocent anymore or is he just being funny? doesn't Tyrion get that this is a treasonous act, what he just turned in Varys for? he can't have decided to risk it from seeing Varys die since that's agonizingly obviously what would have happened for grassing him up, and in fact agonizingly obviously what risks happening from telling him Jon's doxx at all, I feel like I'm taking crazy pills!



then we pan over the bell in question in King's Landing and pan over to see the Iron Fleet with the sails down loitering in the ocean and the men prepare the ballistas as Euron steps forward and looks out into the open see waiting to rock and roll and Lannister soldiers man the walls preparing their own ballistas and get ordered "eyes on the horizon!" as they load the bolts in place and City Guards rush through the streets to man the walls as civilians rush around preparing for the siege and archers try to be brave as they arm themselves and take their positions and groups of soldiers rush through the city ordering the civvies inside and one even grabs a little boy who was playing with a toy to take him inside and they go about yelling at everyone to close their windows as if it'll do any good and most of them are getting ushered into the Red Keep and in the crowd rushing around walks... Arya and The Hound who's covering his identifiable scars with a hood... awww shiiit nigga here we go, the ol duo's back together and ready to kick some ass... you know maybe Arya should be in disguise just in case some guards recognize her good thing she is able to literally change her face which we've seem to forgot lmao but they just walk through the panicking scared crowd with no one paying any attention to these very obvious main characters and speaking of which we see Jaime sneaking in in a cloak and taking his glove off his golden hand for some reason and then walking by a squad of Golden Company making that three separate armies that Cersei has in there, the mercs, the City Guards although I guess they don't really count and are just like cops but she has Euron's fleet of Ironborn and her family's own private army, and as the soldiers rush to lock the gates Jamie has made his way through and all these Golden Company mercs stand in formation outside the city gates where the confrontation took place last episode, you'd think they'd be, you know, inside the walls for this siege but this is season 8 we're watching, and they're all looking a bit shifty as if they're all deciding am I getting paid enough for this shit and their commander rides up in front of them on his white stallion and looks ahead with a smile as he's ready to kick some ass as he sees Dany's Unsullied and Dothraki armies and Jon's armies of Northerners gathering in front of them making it an even 3v3 match and up on a small hill is Tyrion (who the Unsullied somehow didn't notice he freed Jaime? what the fuck is happening?), Jon, Davos and Grey Worm overlooking their forces and Tyrion warns Jon "if you hear the bells ringing they've surrendered, call off your men" but Jon just looks concerned at him like he's about to cry as he knows that ain't fucking happening at this stage



and inside the Red Keep Cersei goes to her balcony and overlooks her city and intense music plays as she just smiles as this is the perfect way she wants to die, everyone she resents on both sides and even herself in absolute carnage, and she sees the civilians being let in the gates of her castle's grounds and the soldiers are checking each person that goes in but not very well and are rushing them in and I think a woman and her little girl with a toy horse looking very scared are trying to get up there but The Hound barges by them saying "move!" and the NPC mother can tell that's a main character if she's ever seen one and tells her daughter to follow them as they're apart of the main storyline



but The Hound and Arya slip in the front gates just as the grounds have filled up and the soldiers have to close the gates on her and her scared little girl and they all start banging on the front gate but then the crowd keeps going all trying to bang on the gate and they start trying to force it down and so many people are still trying to rush into the grounds that a crush starts forming and the mother gets her daughter to try to slip out before it reaches them and the crowd all goes apeshit screaming to be let in and the soldiers try to tell them they're locked but Jaime is in there and puts his golden hand up and yells "soldier! soldier!" who doesn't spot him because he's too busy screaming at the civvies to go back to their homes and stop pushing at the doors so Jaime rushes backwards out of the crowd to find another way as his sister just stares down at the crowd almost bored that it isn't kicking off yet



and on the hill Tyrion stares into his old home and all those people he almost gave his life to defend 6 years ago and a Lannister soldier looks up into the air as a gust of wind blows over him scared of what might be being carried on it and out to see the Iron Fleet is ready and Euron feels the wind too and looks up into the sky to see something in the sun... and he puts his arm over his eyes to try and see... and it looks like a bird... no... it's... well it can't be a plane and it aint superman... wait... are you seriously telling me the plan to defeat the ships that can 360 noscope snipe a dragon out the sky is to... fly straight at them? couldn't do something creative like have Drogon swim under them and suddenly burst out from under the water to blast them and them dip back in or something since it's already been established in season 3 that they can swim? oh I feel like we're in for a fucking ride here



IT'S DROGON FLYING TOWARDS THE ENTIRE IRON FLEET AND EURON ORDERS HIS MEN TO FIRE THEIR BALLISTA AT HIM AND DANY WEAVES OUT IT'S WAY



AND EURON'S MEN RELOAD AND HE TRIES TO GET A GOOD LOOK AT THEM BUT DANY'S KEEPING THE SUN BEHIND THEM SO THEY CAN'T AIM AND THEN SUDDENLY DROGON DIVEBOMBS DOWN ALONG THE OCEAN UNLEASHING HIS FIREBREATH DESTROYING TWO OF EURON'S SHIPS RIGHT IN FRONT OF HIM



AND ZOOMING OVER BLASTING APART MORE AND AS HE HEARS HIS MEN SCREAMING IN TERROR (WHAT HAPPENED TO THEIR TONGUES BEING CUT OUT? LOL YOU DUMB SHOW) HE ORDERS HIS MEN TO TURN THE BALLISTA AROUND AND HE SEES DROGON TURNING AROUND HIMSELF AND HE RUSHES UP TO PERSONALLY RE-AIM THE BALLISTA AND HE SEES DROGON STRAFING ANOTHER SECTION OF THE FLEET DESTROYING DOZENS OF BOATS IN ONE PASS AS HE'S FAR TOO CLOSE FOR THEM TO AIM THEIR BALLISTAS AT FAST ENOUGH AND HE WAITS UNTIL DROGON IS MID-TURN IN MID-AIR TO ORDER "FIRE!" BUT HE TURNS JUST IN TIME FOR IT TO MISS AND ROARS AS HE SWOOPS DOWN STRAIGHT TOWARDS EURON'S MASTERSHIP AND EURON THROWS HIMSELF OVERBOARD JUST IN TIME AS HIS SHIP EXPLODES APART IN A HUGE FIREBALL



AND WE SEE DROGON SKIMMING THE WATER USING THE FLAMING WRECKAGES AND SMOKE FOR COVER AS HE TORCHES THE FEW REMAINING SHIPS AND THE MEN MANNING THE BALLISTAS ON THE WALL SHIT THEIR PANTS AS THEY CANT GET A CLEAR SHOT ON HIM AND A COMMANDER ORDERS THEM TO FIRE AS SOON AS DROGON EMERGES FROM THE BURNING FLEET AND ZOOMS TOWARDS THEM BUT THEY ALL MISS AND HE ORDERS TO RELOAD BUT THEY'RE NOT FAST ENOUGH AND WHEN THEY GO TO TAKE THEIR NEXT SHOT DROGON FLIES UP FROM UNDER THEM ENGULFING THEM ALL IN FLAMES AND DESTROYING THEIR WEAPON



AND A MAN BURNS IN AGONY AS HE TRIES TO GET AWAY FROM HIS PLATFORM BUT HE JUST FALLS OFF THE WALL SCREAMING AND ANOTHER COMMANDER ORDERS "FIRE!" AND HE FUCKING GETS IT AS THE MEN MANNING HIS BALLISTA ARE SET ALIGHT OUT OF NOWHERE BEFORE THEY CAN EVEN SEE IT COMING ALL SCREAMING AS THEY FLESH IS COOKED OFF OF THEM AS DROGON JUST FLIES ACROSS THE WALL ANNIHILATING THEM ALL



and then at the front gates it's silence as the Golden Company sit there in wait and Grey Worm maddogs their leader and Jon and Davos stand in front of the Northern army as they start to hear the explosions in the distance and the GC leader looks around like uhhhhhh and Grey Worm steps forward as the booms get louder and the commander starts getting shook as he hears horses squealing and a thumping noise as THE FRONT GATE EXPLODES FROM WITHIN AS DROGON UNLEASHES THE FULL FORCE OF HIS DRAGONFIRE DESTROYING THE ENTIRE ENTRANCE AND A HUGE CHUNK OF THE GOLDEN COMPANY ARMY IN A MASSIVE ERUPTION OF FIRE AND SHRAPNEL



AND THE COMMANDER IS BLOWN OFF HIS HORSE THAT GETS BLOWN OFF ITS FEET AS DROGON SWOOPS OUT FROM THE SMOKE ROARING AS HIS VICTIMS TRY TO CRAWL OUT OF HIS FLAMES



AND GREY WORM GETS THE HINT AND LEADS HIS UNSULLIED ARMY IN A CHARGE TOWARDS THE MERCENARIES BEING BARBECUED INSIDE THEIR FANCY GOLDEN ARMOR AND THEIR COMMANDER LOOKS UP TO SEE THE HOLLERING FLOOD OF THE DOTHRAKI HOARD ALL ON HORSEBACK CHARGING STRAIGHT AT HIM AND HE TRIES TO TURN AROUND TO FLEE BUT THEY EASILY CATCH UP TO HIM AND HE SUDDENLY TAKES A SPEAR IN THE BACK FROM GREY WORM WHO YANKS IT OUT OF HIM



AND THE DOTHRAKI WHO BREACH THE WRECKAGE WHERE THE FRONT GATE USED TO BE AND RIDE THROUGH THE CITY STREETS SLICING APART THE LANNISTER SOLDIERS WITH THEIR SICKLES AND SCYTHES AS THEY HOLLER LIKE MADMEN AND MORE LANNISTER SOLDIERS RUSH DOWN FROM THE WALL TO TRY TO STOP THEM BUT THE HORSES AND BLADES JUST CARVE THROUGH THEM LIKE BUTTER AND JON'S NORTHERN SOLDIERS FLOOD IN THROUGH THE OPENING AS A DEEP FRIED MERCENARY IS PUT OUT OF HIS MISERY BY ONE OF THEM



AND DROGON DOES ANOTHER PASS EXPLODING THE REMAINING BALLISTA ON THE FRONT WALL AND WHAT'S REMAINING OF THE LANNISTER SOLDIERS IN THE STREETS GET COMPLETELY OVERRUN BY THE NORTHERNERS AND A BALLISTA TRIES TO TAKE AIM INTO THE SKY BUT IS IMMEDIATELY DESTROYED BY DROGON WHO UNDERSTANDABLY FUCKING HATES THESE THINGS FOR KILLING HIS ONLY BROTHER LEFT



AND THE NORTHERN SOLDIERS RELISH BEING ABLE TO TAKE THE FIGHT TO THEIR OPPRESSORS AS DROGON FLOATS ALONG THE WALL LINE DESTROYING EVERY BALLISTA THAT THE SOLDIERS DARE TO TRY TO MAN AND THE REMAINING GOLDEN COMPANY FORCES ARE RUNNING FOR THEIR FUCKING LIVES AS THE MASSIVE DROGON SOARS OVER THEM AND POURS A TORRENT OF FIRE DOWN UPON HUNDREDS OF THEM FRYING THEM ALIVE



and in the Red Keep Cersei looks out at the Iron Fleet in complete wreckage and her city's front gate a smouldering heap and her streets gradually filling up with enemy soldiers when she hears... the snarl of Drogon's roar and she looks at him almost admiringly like he represents what she's wanted to do her entire life just lash out in rage and destroy the society around her that's always been her enemy as she sees him systematically blasting apart every ballista on the wall whether it's manner or not now and outside the walls Tyrion walks through the smokey carnage of Golden Company men strewn around in burnt heaps with the unlucky survivors writhing around in agony and the ones who can move trying to drag their friends away or just legging it as



DROGON SHOOTS HIS BLASTS FULL POWER ALONG THE PERIMETER BURSTING THE STONE WALLS THEMSELVES CREATING GIANT PLUMES OF SMOKE



and Qyburn tentatively comes up to Cersei watching the carnage like even he's starting to realize this shit is for real and he's about to cook real fucking soon and asks "your Grace?" and she just claims "all we need is one good shot" but he informs her "the scorpions have all been destroyed, your Grace" and Cersei can't believe how badly the devs nerfed her units and buffed Dany's OP mount and keeps trying to pretend "the Iron Fleet hold Blackwater Bay... Euron killed one of her dragons, he can kill another" and Qyburn nervously says "your Grace... the Iron Fleet is burning... the gates have been breached... the Golden Company-" just that sentance sums up like three different weird shit in this episode where we just got a shot of Euron's fleet but now it's burning like a mile away from the city instead of docked right next to it, the front gate someone exploding like it was bombed from the fire and the Golden Company now not being the like uhhh 20K men they were said to bring but like a few hundred lol, and Cersei cuts him off "our men will fight harder than sellswords ever could, they will defend their Queen to the last man" and Qyburn's mouth hangs open as he realizes this is it it's fucked as Cersei looks back out and watches Drogon encircle her city in a ring of fire and Qyburn just plays along "yes your Grace" as she says "the Red Keep has never fallen.. it wont fall today" as she looks around with her confidence waning as she knows she's getting cooked alive in there pretty soon



and we cut to Grey Worm, Jon and Davos at the head of the Northern army marching through the burnt streets with dead Lannister soldiers littering their way and Grey Worm and Jon kill brave fuckers who try to attack them and their men move out taking out any other survivors as they march through the empty streets like some stormtrooper shit



until they meet their other forces and Jon moves them out the way to find the remaining Lannister soldiers filling up the street in front of the Red Keep gate ready to defend it to the death and Jon stares them down as they try to steel themselves and Grey Worm just looks blankly at them like they're just another kill in a sea of hundreds to him and the men all shift nervously



and intense music starts up as Tyrion makes his way back to the front gate or where it used to be and looks up at the city bell unrung as he wishes for Jaime to succeed and we cut to him rushing through the city's maze-like back alleys past the few civvies still trying to find a place to hide and Cersei looks out like she's letting whats left of her humanity wither and die as DROGON LETS HIMSELF SOAR DOWN TOWARDS THE CITY STREETS AND THE CROWD OF CIVILIANS TRYING TO FLEE ARE FALLING OVER THEMSELVES TO GET AWAY



AND FRIENDS YANK EACH OTHER TO THEIR FEET AND FATHERS PULL THEIR CHILDREN ALONG BEHIND THEM AND OLD MERCHANTS DROP THEIR BAGS TO RUN FOR THEIR FUCKING LIVES AS DROGON FLOATS ABOVE THE STREETS AND ROARS AND THEY ALL LOOK UP AND SCREAM AS HE LANDS ON A WALL ABOVE THEM AND SCREECHES INTO THE AIR IN TRIUMPH



and Jon looks on super scared of what he'll have do next almost as scared as the Lannister soldiers and one of them at the front just looks over at Drogon and back to Jon and then to the man on his right who looks at him terrified like he knows this is completely fucked so he... just drops his sword... and all his other men drop their swords too... and Jon sighs in relief that they're surrendering, and a wave of clattering swords spreads back throughout the streets, and one of the soldiers screams "ring the bells!" to signal them giving up and a civilian man agrees and screams "ring the bells!" and all the civilians who hear this throughout the street concur and scream for someone to "ring the bells!"



and the camera pans up to see who's call it is... Cersei in the Red Keep... as her entire populace starts yelling up to her "ring the bells! ring the bells!" but she's just standing there and Jaime picks up a discarded sword on the street as people are barging by him the other way to try and flee the city and outside Tyrion can hear the soldiers and civilians screaming "ring the bells!" "ring them!" as his idea might be working and Dany looks out across the city begging for mercy from atop her monster perching on the walls and the screams of "ring the bells!" devolve into just "help us!" and as Cersei sees Drogon screech she hears a man yelling up "in the name of the-" but another man screams over him "Queen! we're surrounded!" and Tyrion listens to everyone begging for the bells and he looks up to see Dany and Drogon perched on the walls all hyped up



and Cersei swallows hard as the last parts of her humanity and motherhood wriggle around inside her trying to survive and she stares at a city bell and Tyrion stares at one too... AND THE CITY BELL RINGS!!! SIGNALLING KING LANDING'S SURRENDER!!! wait wait wait... if fucking Drogon can solo Cersei's entire forces by himself, the Iron Fleet, the Lannister Army, the Golden Company... what the fuck was the point of all that shit of getting Yara, Lady Tyrelle and Elly on their side? if she could do it all without civilian casualities why have all this autism about Tyrion not wanting to take the dragons to KL? why not just do this right away and still have the other two dragons and all of Cersei's forces to fight the NK with? oh fuck do you know what I just realized? Drogon is named after Kahl Drogo lmao, I have not noticed anyone point that out even though it's so obvious but I didn't catch it until the second last ep since I've been calling him Aquaman in my head the whole time lmao, ok anyway uhhh hang on... if Jaime hasn't gotten to Cersei yet... how do all these people in King's Landing know ringing the bells means surrender? is that just a chance of policy in the city since the Blackwater attack? whatever



and Jon sighs with relief and Cersei closes her eyes and exhales meaning I guess she did order it or at least isn't stopping whoever did and just stands there knowing she'll be killed one way or another and Tyrion looks around still sad so many men had to die and he looks up at Dany as the almost musical cacophony of ringing bells starts to get out of sync and turn into a mangled garbled sound and Dany with her face covered in soot looks almost... scared... of herself? and she starts panting heavily as she looks over at the Red Keep and she starts sniffling and gasping as if she's about to cry from the urges overtaking her like she can't cope with not being meant to go sicko mode anymore but since Jon didn't give her the D she can't resist... I guess D&D are trying to tell us that incest is truly the purest form of love afterall, if only Jon had fucked his aunt



ok I have a feeling that we're going to need a soundtrack for this next sequence... maybe something... to do with fire...



and she leans back down and tugs on Drogon's back for him to take flight and he jumps off of the wall leaving behind bricks flying and crumbling off of it and he flaps his wings in a way that looks like really good cgi where it looks like his body has some real weight to it he needs to heave his wings to lift as he flies over the city and Tyrion looks up like uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh



and Dany takes Drogon straight towards the Red Keep and Cersei watches as the monster comes straight at her and we see the shot Bran saw in his visions 3 years ago of Drogon's shadow over King's Landing's rooftops lmao Dany is actually the final boss the Gods were trying to warn Bran of it's not the Night King on his dragon lmaoooo boiiiiiiii



and the civilians run through the streets in fucking terror as Drogon swoops above them almost skimming the rooftops (honestly this is pretty fucking kino if you realize this is literally what impoverished people essentially living a medieval lifestyle all around the world go through when they look up into the sky and see the untouchable powerful air superiority of the foreign militaries come to "liberate" them not knowing if they're about to rain fire down on them or not) and Lannister soldiers and are in the crowd too trying to get out of Drogon's path when DROGON SHOOTS HIS FIRE DOWN INTO THE CITY, INSTANTLY VAPORIZING THE FLEEING LANNISTER SOLDIERS



BUT THERE'S AN AMAZINGLY DONE HORRIBLE RUMBLING SOUND AS HE KEEPS BLASTING HIS FLAMES AS HE SOARS OVER KING'S LANDING, ERUPTING THE BUILDINGS UNDER HIM AND FILLING THE STREETS WITH OF HELLFIRE, EXTERMINATING HUNDREDS OF MEN, WOMEN AND CHILDREN TRYING TO ESCAPE!! EDGY, I LIKE IT COUNT: 141



FUCKING GOOD!!! KILL ALL THE ALTERNATE REALITY LONDON NORMIES!!! THESE WOULD BE THE PEOPLE WHO'D BE FANS OF THIS SHOW IN MY WORLD!!! KILL ALL THE NORMIES DANY!!! REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

and outside Tyrion gasps in horror as he hears Drogon's screech and back inside A TSUNAMI OF FIRE SCREAMS DOWN THE STREETS ANNIHILATING THE CIVILIANS RUNNING FOR THEIR LIVES!! EDGY, I LIKE IT COUNT: 142



and Jon looks up at the airborn monster and the Lannister soldiers who laid down their swords to him turn to see the city that held all their families being destroyed and Grey Worm starts breathing hard as though even if Missy used her last words to ask for this it's not what he really wants after being with her and LANNISTER SOLDIERS TRY TO FLEE BUT THEIR PATHS ARE BLOCKED BY A FLOOD OF FLAMES SAWING THROUGH THE BUILDINGS IN FRONT OF THEM ERASING THE CIVILIANS UNDER IT!! EDGY, I LIKE IT COUNT: 143



and Grey Worm keeps hyperventilating as he lowers his spear and the surrendering soldiers look behind them as a stampede of civilians runs into them trying to avoid the carnage and Grey Worm just zones out into killer mode as if Dany is giving him permission to let his own darkness out and GREY WORM THROWS HIS SPEAR INTO ONE OF THE SURRENDERING SOLDIERS EDGY, I LIKE IT COUNT: 144



AND JON LOOKS AROUND SHOOK AS HIS OWN NORTHERN ARMY TAKE THE HINT AND CHARGE THE SURRENDERING SOLDIERS WHO RUSH TO PICK THEIR SWORDS BACK UP AND BUT QUICKLY GET OVERRUN AND MASSACRED INCLUDING MEN WITH THEIR HANDS UP TRYING TO SURRENDER EDGY, I LIKE IT COUNT: 145



WHILE JON JUST STANDS THERE LIKE A FUCKING AUTIST AND HE SNAPS OUT OF IT WHEN A MAN BUMPS INTO HIM AND HE ORDERS "STOP! GET BACK! GET BACK!" BUT HIS MEN ARE IN A BLOODLUST SLAUGHTERING EVEN THE UNARMED MEN EDGY, I LIKE IT COUNT: 146



AND GREY WORM LOOKS BACK AT JON IN DISGUST AT HIM TRYING TO STOP IT AND WHEN HE GETS DISTRACTED BY A LANNISTER SOLDIER ATTACKING HIM HE RUNS OFF AND JON HAS NO CHOICE BUT KILL THE LANNISTER SOLDIERS TOO



AND HIS MEN HACK THEM APART WITH HANDAXES AND GREY WORM WORKS HIS WAY INTO THE ARMY RUNNING THEM THROUGH WITH HIS SPEAR OVER AND OVER AGAIN KNOCKING ANYONE WHO ATTACKS HIM BACK WITH THE HILT AND STABBING THEM WHEN THEY'RE OPEN



AND A LANNISTER SOLDIER TRIES TO DEFEND HIMSELF BUT GETS HIS ENTIRE TORSO HACKED THROUGH BY A NORTHERNER



AND ANOTHER IS LIKE "HANDS UP DON'T SHOOT!" BUT THEY JUST SLICE BOTH HIS HANDS CLEAN OFF!!! EDGY, I LIKE IT COUNT: 147



AND ANOTHER GETS DECAPITATED AS HIS COMRADE TRIES TO TELL THEM THEY'RE SURRENDERING



BUT THEY JUST HACK INTO HIS HEAD WITH HANDAXES DESTROYING HIS FACE EDGY, I LIKE IT COUNT: 148 AND ANOTHER GETS HIS THROAT SLIT



AND GREY WORM LETS HIS LIFETIME OF REPRESSED RAGE OUT AS HE SCREAMS BLOODY MURDER AS HE LANCES HIS WAY THROUGH MAN AFTER MAN AND WHEN EVERY LANNISTER SOLDIER AROUND HIM IS DEAD HE JUST STANDS THERE LOOKING FOR MORE TARGETS



AND THE REMAINING LANNISTER FORCES HAVING DROGON STRAFE OVER THEM SPRAYING FLAMES ACROSS THEM AND THEY WRITHE AROUND ON THE GROUND BURNING ALIVE AND ONE JUST STANDS THERE IN SHOCK WATCHING HIS FRIENDS BEING COOKED AS HE FRIES HIMSELF!!! EDGY, I LIKE IT COUNT: 149



AND A MOTHER HOLDS HER CRYING DAUGHTER AS DROGON CARVES BURNING SWATHES OF DEATH ACROSS THE CITY EVAPORATING ENTIRE STREETS FULL OF INNOCENT PEOPLE!! EDGY, I LIKE IT COUNT: 150



AND CERSEI STARES WIDE EYED AS HER CITY IS TURNED INTO FUCKING HELL LIKE SHE'S FINALLY MET SOMEONE WORSE THAN HER AS DANY TAKES DROGON UP AND DOWN EVERY SINGLE MAJOR STREET TURNING IT INTO A LAKE OF FIRE SO NO ONE HAS ANYWHERE TO ESCAPE!! EDGY, I LIKE IT COUNT: 151



HOLY SHIT!!! DANY IS FUCKING FIREBOMBING ALL OF KING'S LANDING LIKE SOME DRESDEN OR TOKYO SHIT!!!



CALL HER A MARY SUE NOW MOTHERFUCKER!!!



AND TYRION SHIVERS IN SHOCK AS HE SEES A MAN TRY TO ESCAPE DOWN AN ALLEYWAY AS THE CROWD BEHIND HIM IS INCINERATED BUT THE FLAMES SHOOT PAST HIM TURNING HIS BODY TO ASH TOO! EDGY, I LIKE IT COUNT: 152



AND IN THE STREETS THE UNSULLIED ARE PICKING THEIR WAY ACROSS THE STREWN BODIES OF THEIR ENEMY SOLDIERS AND ONE SURVIVOR DOES THE "OH NO NONONONO" MEME AS HE GETS A SPEAR IN THE FACE EDGY, I LIKE IT COUNT: 153



AND THE CIVILIANS START COMING THEIR WAY JUST RUSHING PAST TWO SOLDIERS LOCKED IN COMBAT TRYING TO GET AWAY FROM THE DRAGON DROPPING DEATH DOWN UPON THEM AND DAVOS HAS ABANDONED THE FIGHT TO TRY AND GUIDE THEM BACK OUT THE FRONT GATE TO SAVE THEM AND JON IS POINTLESSLY SCREAMING "STOOOOP! STOOOOOP!" AT HIS MEN



BUT EVERY TIME HE TRIES TO GIVE AN ORDER ALL THAT HAPPENS IS LANNISTER SOLDIERS REALIZE HE'S A COMMANDER AND ATTACK HIM AND HE HAS TO KILL THEM TOO AND THE NORTHERN SOLDIERS ARE JUST GOING APESHIT ON THE SOUTHERNERS STABBING EVERY CIVILIAN THAT TRIES TO PASS THEM TOO EDGY, I LIKE IT COUNT: 154



AND THEY START JUST CHASING THEM DOWN EVEN SLITTING AN OLD MANS THROAT AS HE LAYS ON THE GROUND WITH HIS HANDS UP EDGY, I LIKE IT COUNT: 155



AND A LITTLE GIRL HIDES BEHIND A PILLAR AND SEES PROBABLY HER FATHER BEING WRESTLED TO THE GROUND BY A SOLDIER AND HER MOTHER LEAVES AN OLDER GIRL AND TRIES TO SAVE HER HUSBAND SCREAMING "GET OFF HIM!" BUT ANOTHER SOLDIER PULLS HER OFF AND SHE SCREAMS AS THE SOLDIER SLITS HER THROAT EDGY, I LIKE IT COUNT: 156



AND THE LAST THING SHE SEES IS HER OLDER DAUGHTER BEING DRAGGED OFF BY SOLDIERS TO BE RAPED AS THE YOUNGER GIRL HAS TO JUST HIDE BEHIND THE PILLAR AGAIN AS SHE DIES INSIDE AS HER PARENTS DIE ON THE STREETS LIKE DOGS



BUT NONE OF THAT MATTERS AS THE ENTIRE STREET SUDDENLY AS FLAMES FILLING IT UP EXTERMINATING EVERY SINGLE VICTIM AND PERPETRATOR OF THE WAR CRIMES ALL TOGETHER AS THEY'RE ALL THE SAME TO THE BEAST DESTROYING THE CITY (DANY LMAO) EDGY, I LIKE IT COUNT: 157



AND A WOMAN STANDS THERE IN SHOCK AND IS KNOCKED OVER BY FLEEING CITIZENS BUT THEY'RE ALL EVAPORATED BY A WALL OF FIRE SMASHING THROUGH THE STREETS!! EDGY, I LIKE IT COUNT: 158



and Jon walks through the streets zoned out as he hears as if it's in the distance civilians being dragged around by his men right in front of him and he looks over and sees a little girl seeing a woman collapse in front of her and get trampled by the fleeing citizens



and he looks over and sees a Lannister soldier, who could have been any of the men he's been killing, protecting civilians and trying to get them away from Jon's men



and he looks around dopely like WAIT... ARE WE THE BADDIES?



but another Lannister soldier sees him and charges and he has to cut him down even though he's just trying to protect his people too and Jon zones out but hears an explosion in the distance and snaps out of it as a woman is screaming for help as one of Jon's soldiers drags her into an alleyway and throws her on the ground and she tries to crawl away but he pulls her back trying to r*pe her but Jon pulls him off and pins him against the wall and puts his sword to him and the man just looks at the woman like he can't believe his commander is siding with the enemy over him so attacks Jon and JON RUNS HIM THROUGH WITH HIS SWORD I guess that's one good thing about the Unsullied they can't go about raping people lis (who am I kidding soldiers rape people with impliments in war all the time)



and he lets his corpse drop down and tells the woman "find somewhere to hide" and she runs off and he looks down confused at having just merced a fellow Northman and Cersei looks down at Drogon carving another few hundreds of final moments into her city EDGY, I LIKE IT COUNT: 159



and starts to flap his wings to get closer to her and she just stands there wishing it was over with already as Drogon starts heading towards her castle and she starts shaking with fear as he flies over the castle walls above the refugees screaming in terror and Cersei's jaw drops as DROGON BLASTS HIS WAY STRAIGHT THROUGH ONE OF THE RED KEEPS TOWERS LIKE IT WAS MADE OF PAPER KILLING WHO KNOWS HOW MANY DEFENCELESS PEOPLE INSIDE! EDGY, I LIKE IT COUNT: 160 DANY IS LITERALLY AND UNIRONICALLY DOING YE OLDE DRAGON 9/11 ON THE RED KEEP AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA



I guess if Elly was still alive in some dungeon for Cersei to have Greggy rape her daily she aint gonne be alive for much longer lmao and underneath the castle on the beach Jaime is struggling to get to the secret passage to get inside, which Tyrion should have really told you know anyone else about and they coulda just sent Arya through to insta-kill Cersei fucking idiots, as rubble falls around him but behind him EURON YELLS "THE KINGSLAYER!" as he wades out of the sea spitting up salt water having very very conveniently washed ashore right in time for his boss battle with a main character (guess Yara ain't getting it) literally like when someone obnoxiously respawns just behind you in Call of Duty multiplayer and Jaime tries to play it off like they're still allies saying "we need to get the Queen out of King's Landing" but Euron barks "listen! that's the sound of a city dying" and just grins like a madman and says "it's over" and Jaime just says "maybe for you" and goes to run off but hears Euron drawing his blade and ask "if you kill another King before you die... they'll sing about you forever" and Jaime sneers "you're no King" and Euron claims "oh but I am" and starts towards him and he lets him know "and I fucked the Queen"



and Jaime's face drops as Euron keeps ranting "if I win... I'll bring your head to Cersei so you can kiss her... one last time" as he looks super smug at the twisted poetry he just came up with on the spot and Jaime turns away as he summons every ounce of his own darkness so JAIME SUDDENLY SWINGS HIS SWORD AT EURON WHO JUMPS BACK, DODGES ANOTHER ONE AND LEAPS OUT THE WAY AS JAIME CRASHES HIS SWORD DOWN INTO THE ROCKS BEHIND HIM



and up with Cersei she jumps as a piece of the ceiling comes loose and shatters a bowl behind her as Drogon starts taking her castle apart section by section and ANOTHER TOWER CRUMBLES DOWN CRUSHING THE REFUGEES! EDGY, I LIKE IT COUNT: 161



AND DROGON CIRCLES THE RED KEEP SAWING INTO IT WITH HIS FIRE SENDING CHUNKS OF IT DROPPING OFF ON TOP OF MORE OF THE REFUGEES!! EDGY, I LIKE IT COUNT: 162



AND COLLAPSING AN ENTIRE SECTION OF IT DOWN OFF A CLIFF KILLING WHAT MUST BE HUNDREDS OF PEOPLE INSIDE!!! EDGY, I LIKE IT COUNT: 163



AND IT SMASHES INTO THE SEA BEHIND JAIME WHO KNEES EURON IN THE STOMACH AS HE TRIES TO CHASE HIM BUT HE INSTANTLY SLASHES JAIME IN THE ARM AND BACKHANDS HIM IN THE FACE BUT JAIME SLASHES HIS BLADE OUT OF EURON'S HAND AND CHARGES BUT EURON GRABS HIS SWORDARM AND ELBOWS HIM IN THE FACE AND GRABS HIS HEAD AND THROWS HIS SWORD AWAY AND THROWS JAIME INTO THE ROCKS AND STAGGERS AWAY BUT JAIME TACKLES HIM INTO THE GROUND AND EURON ROLLS ONTOP OF HIM AND STARTS PUNCHING HIM IN THE FACE AS HARD AS HE CAN BUT JAIME SMASHES HIS GOLDEN HAND INTO EURON'S THROAT



AND KICKS HIM OFF OF HIM AND EURON ROLLS AROUND GASPING TO GET AIR DOWN HIS CRUSHED LARYNX BUT STRUGGLES TO HIS FEAT AND WHEN JAIME SWINGS AT HIM HE GRABS JAIME BY THE WAIST AND SLAMS HIM INTO THE GROUND AND STARTS CHOKING HIM AND JAIME TRIES TO GET HIS ONE HAND UP TO JAIME'S FACE BUT HE CANT REACH BUT SHE SLAMS HIS GOLDEN HAND INTO EURON'S ARMS AND HEADBUTTS HIM IN THE FACE AND BACKHANDS HIM WITH HIS GOLDEN HAND AND AS EURON CRAWLS TOWARDS HIS SWORD JAIME COUGHS UP BLOOD BUT ROLLS OVER AND GRABS EURON BY THE FOOT AND DRAGS HIM BACK AWAY FROM THE BLADE



SO HE TURNS AROUND AND KICKS HIM IN THE HEAD AND STARTS FOR THE WEAPON AGAIN BUT JAIME JUMPS ON TOP OF IT BUT EURON GRABS THE BLADE AND RAMS IT INTO JAIME'S SIDE!!! AND EURON STRUGGLES TO PULL IT FREE FROM HIS RIBS AND THEY BOTH COLLAPSE AND JAIME STARTS TRYING TO CRAWL AWAY AND COLLAPSES ON HIS BACK



and Cersei steps away from the balcony as literally all of King's Landing is on fire as millions of people are burnt to death and there's nothing left to see but she cant help herself but turn back to keep watching EDGY, I LIKE IT COUNT: 164



and Qyburn now shook for the first time in his life begs "your Grace it isn't safe here any longer" and Cersei forces out "the Red Keep is the safest place in the city" but he insists "the Unsullied have breached the gates of the Red Keep!" and a tear rolls down Cersei's cheek as she's about to die at any second and still has some shithead man trying to control her and Qyburn tries to tell her "Maegor's Holdfast would be a better place to wait out the storm" but Cersei just starts rocking in places and crying and one last time she tries to bottle her emotions and turns around to take Qyburn's hands as he leads her away from the balcony and the camera pans out to see King's Landing... just gone... and a massive several miles wide plume of smoke fills the air like some sort of mega-9/11 and then... oh god... all the stashes of Wildfire underneath the city's tunnels start detonating too... I guess they have been there since the Mad King or maybe Cersei had some ebin scheme to threaten to set them off or something, but they are just tiny plumes of green in a sea of orange carnage as most of the city is literally just burning heaps of what used to be buildings and piles of ashes of what used to be people now EDGY, I LIKE IT COUNT: 165 they actually did it the absolute madtargs... I GUESS WE KNOW WHICH WAY THE GODS COIN FLIP WENT BEACUSE MAD QUEEN DANY DID WHAT HER FATHER COULDN'T AND IS BASICALLY DOING HIROSHIMA AND NAGASAKI ON KING'S LANDING FOR LITERALLY NO REASON LMAOOOOOOO





PROBLEM, REDDITOR NORMIE SOYBOY BUGMAN LIBTARD NUMALE POST-MODERN NEO-MARXIST NPC CUCKS WHO HAVE BEEN PRETENDING SHE IS SOME FEMINIST ICON FOR 9 YEARS?



and in the entrance of the passage way Euron is panting with blood streaming down his face and he forces out "you fought well... for a cripple..." and Jaime wheezes trying to breath with his punctured lung and he looks over to see his own sword and he tries to flip to his front and crawl over but Euron sees him and groans that he'll have to force himself back to his feet and just as Jaime puts his hand on his sword EURON STABS HIM IN THE BACK BUT JAIME KNOCKS HIM BACK AGAINST A ROCK AND RAMS HIS SWORD INTO EURON'S BELLY while he looks like a good candidate for a "when u nut but she still suckin" meme



and Euron screams in agony and grabs hold of the Sword but Jaime just keeps driving it as far in as he can and Euron sits up and quips "another King for you" as Jaime pulls the sword out causing blood to flood out of Euron's body and he rasps after Jaime who storms away "but I got you! I got you!" and grins as Euron looks directly into the camera like he's talking to the audience "I'm the man who killed Jaime Lannister!" and gives a sigh as he dies satisfied that Jaime won't survive his blow lul fitting death for such an edgy prick who's character depth extended to "he likes doing sex lol" since he was basically an internet trolls self-insert in a fanfiction that just wanted to AMOG the coolest male characters and fuck the hottest female character, lucky for our incestious hero it seems like Euron got nerfed in the last patch too since he went from soloing the Sand Snakes to getting beaten by one-handed JUSTaime and it wasn't even bothered to bring up that Euron thought Jaime's babby was his like he uses that to taunt him or something since no one gives a shit about Euron



wait a minute this shot reminds me of something else from a certain TV shows climax ah yes... there it is



and in the sky Drogon is circling the Red Keep that's surrounding structures he's reduced to rubble and in what used to be Cersei's old apartment The Hound and Arya finally reach her fancy mapfloor room and The Hound looks up at the Red Keep crumbling and grimaces as he knows there's no way to get out of there alive and he's going to have to face his fear of fire again and he just asks Arya "go home girl" signing as he knows she'll refuse and he tries to convince her "the fire will get her or one of the Dothraki... or maybe that dragon will eat her, it doesn't matter, she's dead... and you'll be dead too if you don't get out of here" but Arya walks ahead insisting "I'm going to kill her" and The Hound grabs his old companion, the only kindred spirit he's ever had in this shit world, and asks "you think you wanted revenge a long time? I've been after it all my life, it's all I care about, and look at me, LOOK AT ME! you wanna be like me?" and he takes the back of her head and looks her in the eye past all the bravado bullshit they both use to cope as he makes her look into his ruined face as he tries to save not just her life but her soul from becoming him and he tells her "you come with me... you die here" and Arya looks like a scared little girl as he simply walks off seeing he's done his job but Arya turns and calls "Sandor" and The Hound turns to hear the name he probably hasn't been called since before his brother fried his face and she says vulnerably "thank you" to a man who wrote himself off as a monster decades ago and The Hound just sighs as if there's no saving him and just walks away leaving Arya to sit there gasping as she gives up her cringy le badass assassin coping mechanism, aww I was looking forward to seeing them operating together but I guess this is the only way for their story to end with the two of them going their seperate ways since it was based around an actually well written mutual respect for each other despite their differences but it still ended up being retarded thanks to how silly Arya's storyline got that Arya would give up revenge after already killing dozens of rather more innocent people than Cersei and is better at killing than The Hound probably lmao and in fact you'd think after all that it'd actually be The Hound who turns back since his arc is about trying to give up being a monster and nothing has really sent him back on that dark path if anything recent events showed he can contribute positively to society and his only friend Beric would want him to keep doing so and it's Arya who's the one who seems a bit more "far gone" than him since she acts like a sociopath at all times including literally feeding a man his own sons in a pie and is now a notorious folk hero for killing the NK while at least he had a religious phase and made up with Brie I guess we can pretend in our brains where we're protected from D&D's shit writing that she wants to go help Jon now that Dany is clearly going off her nut, also isn't she still wanting to get revenge on Ilyn Payne or are we just forgetting he exists?



and on the spiral staircase we see Cersei, Qyburn, The Mountain and her other Kingsguard making their way down it and they all look around shook other than The Mountain as the structure shudders as Drogon roars in the distance but even The Mountain looks up as he sees THE CEILING OF THE STRUCTURE COLLAPSES AS FLAMING WRECKAGE DROPS DOWN SMASHING INTO SOME OF THE KINGSGUARD KILLING THEM



AND CERSEI CURLS UP IN A BALL AS THE MOUNTAIN COVERS HER WITH HIS MASSIVE 7 FOOT TALL FRAME SHIELDING HER FROM THE CRUMBLING BUILDING THAT'S CRUSHING HER OTHER BODYGUARDS TO DEATH SO IT LOOKS LIKE SHE'S GETTING MOUNTAINED.COM



and he steps away revealing he, her, Qyburn and a few Kingsguard survived and from the bottom of the stairs comes... THE HOUND... no... he's not some notoriously ruthless warrior anymore... this time... it's personal... this is SANDOR CLEGANE oh I'm gonna need an intense banger for this



and he cheekily nods and says "your Grace" so past giving a shit that he's not even angry anymore but just ready to finally get the only kind of fucked up version of peace he can find



and the remaining Kinsguard rush down the stairs and SANDOR INSTANTLY BLOCKS ALL THE FIRST GUYS ATTACKS AND SLICES THROUGH HIS TORSO, SMASHES THE SECOND GUYS HEAD THROUGH A PILLAR, BLOCKS THE THIRDS ATTACK



AND SLITS HIS THROAT AND JUST SMASHES HIS SWORD INTO THE LAST GUYS NECK BEFORE HE CAN EVEN GET TO HIM AND PULLS IT OUT SENDING HIS BLOOD SPRAYING OUT OVER THE STAIRS



and looks back up at... The Mountain breathing heavily under his helmet... and Sandor calls up "hello big brother!" and the mountain glares at him before taking a step froward... but Cersei orders slash begs "Ser Gregor, stay by my side" but The Mountain turns to Cersei and looks her straight in the eyes with his bloodshot eyes and whatever is left of this half-monster half, well, monster's mind... ignores her



as he starts stomping down the stairs and Cersei squeals "Ser Gregor! I command you!" and Qyburn steps in front of his ungodly creation and orders "obey your Queen Ser Gregor!" hoping whatever brainwashing or whatever the fuck he did to him holds up but THE MOUNTAIN JUST GRABS QYBURN'S HEAD AND THROWS IT INTO THE STAIRS SHATTERING THE BACK OF HIS SKULL OPEN LIKE TOSSING AWAY ROTTEN FRUIT INSTANTLY KILLING THE MAN WHO TURNED HIM INTO A WALKING ABOMINATION OF NATURE TO MATCH HIS OWN



fucking rip dude, he was another character like Varys that I assumed would have something to do with the White Walker storyline what with you know knowing how to make zombies and everything but that storyline really was like DLC for the universe or some shit that had nothing to do with the main story like... if this dude can literally make zombie super soldiers why not... you know... make a whole army of them? I guess we're meant to think only big Gregy can survive the process or some shit and Cersei gasps as she realizes she's all alone and as the castle rumbles into ruin around them The Mountain stares at his little brother who's been wanting to murder him their entire lives and Cersei is like aaaaawkwaaaaaard and gingerly steps down the stairs past to Sandor and sees he's got his eyes locked with his brother and doesn't give a shit about her and just walks past him lmao leaving him to his family business, maybe if you don't mind Sandor just like... snapping her neck or something to try to stop the genocide happening outside or... nah? not gonna bother? ok that bit kind of sums up how silly this episode is since you could very easily raise the stakes and have it make more sense character wise by having The Hound specifically targeting Cersei but The Mountain actually defends her when it seems out of character for both to still care about battling especially Sandor who just ignoring Cersei is very out of character by this stage and have some tension where they're trying to fight over an actual objective rather than who lives or dies when it's obvious it doesn't matter to the story if both do anyway and as Drogon does a pass outside spewing fire across the castle... Sandor starts stepping towards The Mountain... oh god... this is it... they're actually doing it... it's been a running joke for 8 fucking years but now it's real... it's time... IT'S TIME FOR THE CLEGANEBOWL!!! THEY'RE DOING THE MEME!!!

I'm gonna need some badass banger tunes for this





and Sandor takes each step by step until he gets close to The Mountain and then stops but he's not afraid he's just seeing if he'll move but he's just glaring at him and SANDOR LUNGES AT THE MOUNTAIN WHO GOES TO DRAW HIS SWORD BUT SANDOR SLASHES HIS WRIST AWAY AND SLICES AT HIS THROAT BUT HIS BIG BROTHER CASUALLY LEANS BACK AVOIDING IT BY HALF AN INCH AND JUST BATS HIS SWORD AWAY WITH HIS STEEL PLATE GAUNTLET AND SANDOR SNARLS AS HE TRIES TO CUT THROUGH HIS ARMOR TO NO EFFECT AND THE CASTLE CRUMBLES AROUND THEM AS THE MOUNTAIN JUST GRABS SANDOR'S SWORD IN HIS GIANT HAND OH FUCK



AND HE STRUGGLES TO YANK IT BACK BUT CANT SO HE PULLS IT DOWN OUT OF HIS GRIP AND SWINGS AGAIN ONLY TO HAVE HIS BLADE BATTED AWAY AND HE GOES APESHIT TRYING TO SLASH AT HIS BROTHER AND HE FINALLY MANAGES TO GET A HIT IN AND SMASHES THE DICKHEAD LOOKING HELMET OFF THE MOUNTAIN'S HEAD AND WHO TURNS TO FACE HIS BROTHER AND... THE MOUNTAIN'S FACE IS COMPLETELY NECROTIC, HE LOOKS LIKE A WHITE WALKER'S ZOMBIE OH SHIT HE TOOK THE BIG GUY'S MASK OFF... AND IT'S GOING TO BE EXTREMELY PAINFUL... FOR HIM



BUT SANDOR JUST SAYS "YEAH, THAT'S YOU... THAT'S WHAT YOU'VE ALWAYS BEEN" (OTHER THAN THE OTHER TWO ACTORS TO PLAY HIM) TO HIS SOULLESS MONSTER OF A BROTHER WHO'S AS UGLY ON THE OUTSIDE NOW AS HE IS ON THE INSIDE



AND HE'S NOT SOME ATTACK DOG CALLED THE MOUNTAIN ANYMORE EITHER HE'S WHAT'S LEFT OF AN EVIL MAN NAMED GREGOR WHO INSTANTLY DRAWS HIS SWORD SNEERING WITH RAGE READY TO UNLEASH HIS ANGER ON HIS LITTLE BROTHER FOR THE FINAL TIME



AND GRUNTS AS HE SMASHES IT DOWN INTO THE WRECKAGE BEHIND SANDOR AS HE ZIPS OUT THE WAY SHATTERING ROCK INTO DUST AND SANDOR DUCKS LEAVING GREGOR'S SWORD TO CLEAVE THROUGH A SOLID STONE PILLAR AND HE TRIES TO SWIPE AT HIM BUT HAS TO BLOCK THE INCOMING MASSIVE SWORD THAT CLANGS SO HARD INTO HIS DUST EXPLODES OFF OF THEM



and Cersei staggers out of the crumbling structure as she hears Gregor's roaring above her and she tries to stay standing as the castle shakes under her feet and then she hears an even worse roaring: Drogon... and she can't find her way out through the collapsing rocks and dust but then she looks up to see... her brother... her lover... Jaime... has come back for her... and she yelps with joy as he rushes to hold her one last time and she grips onto him for dear life assured that he'll always be there for her and he almost collapses into her with exhaustion and he takes her crying face in his one remaining hand and she realizes "you're hurt" but he knows "it doesn't matter" and she looks at his blood filling up her hands and cries "you're bleeding" but Jaime just looks at her like they're both dead anyway and the building starts imploding around them so he takes his sister under cover



and back up the stairs GREGOR HEAVES HIS MASSIVE SWORD AT HIS BROTHER WHO WEAVES OUT THE WAY TRYING TO SLASH AT HIS HEAVILY ARMORED BODY BLOCKING AND DODGING EVERY SWIPE HIS BROTHER SENDS HIS WAY



AND TRYING TO GET HIS OWN SWORD BETWEEN HIS ARMOR BUT GREGOR'S SOMEHOW JUST AS FAST AND BATS HIS BLADE AWAY BUT SANDOR BLOCKS HIS SWORDARM WITH HIS OFFARM AND TRIES TO PIN IT AGAINST GREGOR'S CHEST BUT HES TOO STRONG



SO HE WRAPS HIS ARM AROUND HIS AND KNOCKS THE SWORD OUT OF HIS HAND AND WITH ALL HIS MIGHT SANDOR RAMS HIS BLADE THROUGH GREGOR'S CHEST WHO GRABS THE BLADE... AND JUST LOOKS HIM IN THE EYES... AND SANDOR FORCES THE BLADE FURTHER IN BUT GREGOR HOLDS ONTO IT TIGHTER AND SANDOR SUMMONS STRENGTH HE DIDN'T EVEN KNOW HE HAD TO GET IT DEEPER INSIDE HIS BODY



BUT GREGOR BARELY EVEN REACTS AND BACKHANDS HIS LITTLE BROTHER SO HARD IN THE HEAD HE GOES FLYING BACK DOWN THE STAIRS LIKE A RAGDOLL AND SANDOR STRUGGLES TO LOOK UP AT GREGOR CASUALLY TRYING TO TAKER HIS SWORD OUT OF HIM



BUT IT'S JAMMED IN HIS ARMOR SO HE SIMPLY RIPS IT OFF, EXPOSING HIS ROTTEN MASSIVE TORSO AND LETTING HIS ARMOR AND THE SWORD CLATTER TO THE GROUND AND SANDOR WHIMPERS AS HIS WORST FUCKING NIGHTMARE STORMS TOWARDS HIM: HIS LITERALLY UNKILLABLE BIG BROTHER COMING FOR HIM AND GREGOR STOMPS DOWN THE STAIRS AS SANDOR LAUGHS AT WHAT A FUCKING HELL HIS ENTIRE LIFE AS BEEN AS HIS BROTHER PICKS HIM UP BY THE BACK OF HIS NECK AND THROWS HIM DOWN THE STAIRS LIKE HE'S JUST A LITTLE BOY AGAIN



and Arya looks back at the crumbling keep as she makes her way through an alley and sees a woman trying to protect a child from the collapsing buildings above them as surviving civilians try to flee through the side streets and she walks past the corpse of a woman stabbed in the stomach EDGY, I LIKE IT COUNT: 166



as a man yells "Alanna! have you seen my wife?!" but she has to just keep going but then the man grabs her and begs "have you seen my wife?" but then sees... the corpse behind her... and rushes off to see the dead Alanna...



and she walks past a man a little boy writhing in pain as his older female relatives try to help him and she keeps going past the fleeing crowed who throw themselves on the ground as the glow of fire starts up above them and more building crumbles down and Arya walks by a street aflame and a man barges into her and she looks up in fear at at the passing dragon and she passes by an alley that's filled with people cradling their loved ones who have had their faces burnt off by Dany's attacks EDGY, I LIKE IT COUNT: 167 and Arya sees the end of the alley is blocked by flames but all around her buildings start collapsing and a dude tries to run but gets hit by falling debris and Arya looks up to see DROGON FLYING OVERHEAD STILL SPITTING FIRE and Arya runs for her fucking life down an alley into a crowd of people stampeding down the street away from the dragon and she falls to her knees and that was all one-take wew laddy now that was kino and literally what Yemen is like daily thanks to AmeriKKKa and the British Pedophisles



then back with Sandor he is landing on the stairs just getting bullied at this point lmao and as if to show they really are kindred spirits we cut to Arya struggling to get to her feet as the stampede passes over her and Sandor getting picked up and Arya trying to not get crushed and Sandor getting smashed against a wall and Arya getting crushed and Sandor being thrown into some rubble since Gregor is like a Terminator from Terminator Salvation that likes to throw people around rather than just kill them instantly like he could



and Arya struggles to get up as Gregor pushes his brother into a wall and starts crushing him but SANDOR PUNCHES GREGOR IN THE FACE SO HE RETURNS THE FAVOR SENDING HIM DROPPING LIKE A SACK OF SHIT ONTO THE GROUND and Arya crawls along the ground as Gregor punches his brother again but catches him by his throat and lifts him up and then punches him against a wall again and Arya crawls away from more rubble falling down and Gregor picks Sandor up onto his knees and raises his fist up high with blood dripping off of it in slo-mo



and brings it down thumping it into his head as Arya is knocked down again by rubble and charging people... but then a random woman called Nora from the subtitles, oh bloody nora! offers "take my hand! take my hand! get up! get up!" and yanks Arya to her feet but they hear Drogon roaring overhead and everyone ducks and cowers as a gout (lol) of flame shoots out over the sky and as the crowd starts to flee again Arya is pulled away from Nora and she tries to stay with her but the crowd takes her down the street and a building collapses behind her throwing corpses into the wall probably killing her EDGY, I LIKE IT COUNT: 168



and then a burst of collapsing building engulfs Arya too and we cut back to Sandor getting thrown face first into a wall and his face is a mess and there's blood leaking out of everything but he stays conscious and Gregor grabs him by the throat again and lifts his moaning brother up until he's a foot off the ground and finally eye-level with him and he puts him up against the wall and starts slowly choking him and Sandor gargles and tries to pry his brothers hands off of him but it's no hope as the building collapses around them and Sandor fiddles to get a dagger out of his belt and HE STABS GREGOR IN THE SHOULDER WITH IT... TO NO EFFECT... SO HE STABS AGAIN... AND TRIES STABBING HIM IN THE RIBS, THE NECK, THE SIDE, THE CHEST WHILE SCREAMING "FUCKING DIE!!!"



AND PLANTS THE DAGGER IN HIS SHOULDER AS GREGOR SMASHES HIM INTO THE WALL WITH A LITTLE SMILE ON HIS ROTTEN LIPS AND SANDOR STARTS LAUGHING MANICALLY AS HE FRUITLESSLY STABS HIS BROTHER IN THE SHOULDER AND GREGOR DOES HIS MEME WHERE HE PUTS HIS THUMBS IN HIS EYES AND DRAGS HIM UP THE WALL AND SANDOR STARTS SCREAMING IN AGONY AS HIS BROTHER STARTS CRUSHING HIS EYEBALLS BUT HE FEELS WHERE HIS BROTHER'S OWN EYEBALLS ARE WITH HIS RIGHT HAND AND WITH HIS LEFT...



SANDOR RAMS HIS DAGGER STRAIGHT THROUGH GREGOR'S EYE SOCKET AND OUT THE BACK OF HIS SKULL!!! AND GREGOR DROPS HIS BROTHER AND STAGGERS BACK LOOKING DOWN AT HIM WITH HIS ONE REMAINING EYE



AND SANDOR SCREAMS AS HE FORCES HIS ONE ONLY HALF-RUINED EYE TO OPEN TO GLARE DAGGERS AT EACH OTHER



GREGOR REACHES UP AND TAKES HOLD OF THE ACTUAL DAGGER IN HIS BRAIN AND STARTS TO PULL IT OUT OF HIS HEAD AS IF EVEN ZOMBIE RULES DON'T APPLY TO HIM



BUT SANDOR SEES HIS ONLY CHANCE AND SCREAMS REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE



AS THE BETA FINALLY UPRISES AGAINST THE CHAD AND HE TACKLES HIS MASSIVE BROTHER STRAIGHT THROUGH THE WALL



SENDING THEM BOTH PLUMMETING OUT OF THE CASTLE AND INTO THE RAGING LAKE OF HELLFIRE THAT USED TO BE THE RED KEEP GROUNDS DESTROYING THEM BOTH



ok I'll admit I liked it I mean I was expecting it to have more to do with, well, fire for one, like Sandor shows he's conquered his fear of fire by using it to set Gregor alight and destroy his zombie body or Greg tries to use it against him and he just charges straight through it or even sets his own sword alight with wine or something and fights with it as a callback to Beric but I guess diving into a lake of flames is another way to overcome your fear of fire which I think is what they're going for even though it didn't seem like Sandor even knew the ground was on fire and the fall woulda killed at least him anyway lul, but also the plot like it woulda made a lot mroe sense if it took place at a trial by combat for Cersei or something but whatever that was just the kind of dumb shit I love, a drag out knock-down fight that goes through several stages of Gregor not even trying until he gets his helmet knocked off, then a desperate sword fight and then him taking off his armor to just annihilate Sandor in hand to hand and just as it's revealed just extremely impervious he truly is Sandor "wins" only by thinking fast and using the environment against him like when the James Bond movies were allowed to still be fun, epic, I like it and am glad Arya didn't appear out of nowhere to save him or some dumb shit and it was entirely about how determined Sandor was I think what they were going for is Sandor won thematically because he was ready to die which is a pottery counter to Gregor refusing to die being his strength up until that point, rip both of these two who were some of the best of these archetypes of unstoppable killing machine brute and wandering damaged badass anti-hero since there's only so much depth you can give le strongman likes to le kill people but they did a good job by focusing mostly on the effect he has on his victims and the fear he spreads throughout the land and the way he's used as an attack dog by those around him so it's actually fine that he never gets any lines after his big moment in season 4 and when most anti-heroes are written they can't have them be too edgy like they only do bad deeds to those who deserve it but Sandor was actually a cunt who murdered an innocent child and robbed a starving family lmao so it's more believable that this guy hates himself and is capable of killing anyone, a very predictable ending that they'd both end up in a scene like this and the older show probably would have le subverted your expectations with having Sandor just die after his fight with Brie and Gregor just die from being poisoned by Oberyn but if they're going to go the normie pleasing route (which lets be real is the only reason Sandor was even re-introduced to be le funny gruff badass man and fight the baddies) they did it in a pretty fun way

then in the city streets Jon is looking up at the burning buildings when MORE STASHES OF WILDFIRE GET SET OFF AND SUPERSONIC CRACKS LET OUT AS GREEN EXPLOSIONS BURST OUT OF THE BUILDINGS ACROSS THE CITY!!! EDGY, I LIKE IT COUNT: 169



and injured men scream in terror as flaming chunks of building rain down around them and Jon looks at Davos as everyone around them is yelling in agony or fear and trying to escape as Drogon's roar gets closer and he just sheathes his sword and yells "we need to fall back!" but his men are barely listening as one stabs the shit out of someone on the ground and he pulls another guy doing the same off another guy and everyone only starts listening as the streets behind them erupt in fire as Drogon's blasts get closer and he tries to scream at a civvy "get outta the city!" BUT THE CIVVY IS BURIED UNDER BURNING RUBBLE!!! EDGY, I LIKE IT COUNT: 170



and he orders "fall back" and everyone looks up AS DROGON KEEPS DROPPING FIRE ON EVERY BUILDING LEFT STANDING! EDGY, I LIKE IT COUNT: 171 and he leads everyone who'll listen down the street back to the gate



then later we see Arya laying amongst blood and rubble and corpses absolutely coated in ash like some 9/11 shit and there's some booms in the distance and people yelling and more people running by her and she stands up trying to stop her head ringing and coughs up dust and looks up to see... oh shit... the bell tower above her is cracking and starts collapsing and IT SMASHES DOWN BEHIND HER CRUSHING CIVILIANS ALL AROUND IT EDGY, I LIKE IT COUNT: 172



and Arya comes to hiding behind a wall as people scream and horses rush past and she sees civilians cowering in fear in front of her and she walks forward to find a woman holding her child and tells her "you can't stay here, you have to keep moving" but one cries "we cant go out there" and Arya insists "you have to" and another girl says "everyone out there is dead!" but Arya screams "if you stay here you'll die! follow me! follow me!" and drags the woman and her girl out and the other civvies follow them but A DOTHRAKI RIDER RUNS UP AND STARTS CUTTING DOWN CIVILIANS EDGY, I LIKE IT COUNT: 173



and another two ride up towards Arya and she has to let the woman drop down as she dives out the way and when she gets up and turns back... the woman's child is over her body crying "mama! mama!" as she's been trampled under the horses but before Arya can react she hears DROGON ROARING IN THE SKY AND LOOKS UP TO SEE HIM CIRCLING AROUND TO COME BACK DOWN TOWARDS THEM AND SHE RUSHES TO DRAG THE WOMAN TO HER FEET WHO'S STILL ALIVE AND HER AND HER DAUGHTER DRAG HER DOWN THE STREETS AS DROGON GETS CLOSER AND CLOSER BUT THE WOMAN KNOWS THEY CANT MAKE IT AND YELLS TO ARYA "TAKE HER! TAKE HER!"



AND DROPS DOWN AS ARYA PULLS THE LITTLE GIRL AWAY BUT SHE SQUEALS "NO!!!" AND GOES TO TRY AND SAVE HER MOTHER



JUST AS DROGON FIRES HIS FLAMES DOWN INTO THE STREET IMMOLATING THE TWO OF THEM AND ALL THE INNOCENTS AROUND THEM GODDAMN IS THAT FUCKING EDGY, I LIKE IT COUNT: 174



DANY IS LITERALLY MAKING SURE SHE KILLS EVERY SINGLE PERSON IN THE CITY!!! SHE'S LITERALLY COMMITTING GENOCIDE!!! SHE'S LITERALLY ETHNICALLY CLEANSING ALL OF KING'S LANDING!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!! THE EEEEEEEDDDDDGGGGGGGGEEEEEEEEE!!!



MOMS GONNA FREAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAK!!!



OH GOD I NEED TO LOOK UP THOSE VIDEOS OF THOSE HOARDS OF HIPSTER NORMIES REACTING TO SEE WHOH OOOH HOHOH OHO OH NO NO NONONONO HAHAHAHAHAAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA



wew that was a great shot of Drogon slowly soaring down ready to do a strafe of the street that was some like North by Northwest Hitchock shit and unlike the scenes of the main characters aaaaaalmost getting overrun over and over and over again during the Battle of Winterfell all this carnage doesn't drag since unlike that episode where you're waiting to see what main character is going to die or not there are people dying on-screen constantly lmao so it's not like "wait what's happening now?" it's just hitting you in the face with the trauma of it over and over again as if you were watching this shit on the news or actually there and can't escape and down in the tunnels under the Red Keep Jaime takes Cersei, quite fucking energetically for a man who's been stabbed in the gut, which I guess they did so when he dies here it seems more inevitable he'd die one way or another and less stupid of him for going back for Cersei, by the ancient dragon skulls as the structure collapses above them trying to get her to safety even if he can't make it and she clings to him for dear life but they find... the escape exit is blocked by rubble... and Jaime hyperventilates as he realizes they're trapped and sad music starts up as Cersei realizes she's going to be buried alive down there as Jaime pointlessly tries to get through and she cries "I want our baby to live... I want our baby to live... I want our baby to live... don't let me die Jaime don't let me die please don't let me die please don't let me die I don't want to die" and Jaime takes his sister protecting her one last time and asks her to "look at me" and she cries "not like this not like this not like this" but he gets her "look me in the eye don't look away look at me JUST LOOK AT ME" and holds her head in his hand again and tells her "nothing else matters... nothing else matters... only us..." using what used to be their fucked up twisted narcissistic obsession with each other to comfort her a final time and she calms down and puts her crying face against his and they both nod to each other like they're ready to go with at least having each other and never letting the world keep their forbidden love apart no matter how twisted or dangerous >TFW THE INCEST FETISH IS SO STRONG IT KILLS YOU



and Jaime holds his sister-lover Cersei tight as the tunnel starts to implode behind them and... THE LANNISTER TWINS ARE CRUSHED TO DEATH UNDER THE CASTLE... they were born together, they created life together, they died together... it's like pottery... it rhymes probably the best outcome the characters themselves could have hoped for since they both had a date to getting roasted alive by Dany and if this was old GoT they'd have made so many powerful enemies they'd end up getting tortured to death by one of the other 5 Sand Snakes or if this was even not season 8 where they need to rush everything even season 6 or 7 would have some epic twist where Jaime takes off his face to reveal it's Arya and then stabs her for le ebin shock twist or something that was almost a heroic death where the two lovers die in each others arms like at the end of Star Wars Rogue One or something well despite her not really having anything to do this episode which you'd think would be her time to shine now she has extra reason to live with being pregnant and being noted for doing whatever it takes for her and her children to survive but she never really did anything at all after taking power since the show went straight into retard land after that but despite some lame shit last episodes like almost every other character Cersei is probably one of the best female villains I've ever seen (and probably the best and most coherent character in the whole show since other GOAT characters like Varys went wonky and lame from Dany contamination all the way back in season 5) since you understand every decision she makes, she really deserved something more special than being crushed by rocks, like she begs for her life to Dany reasoning that she's pregnant, so Dany is just like ok I'll just hold you captive for 9 months and kill you as soon as you give birth rekt for some fucked up pottery like that that being so dedicated to being a mother is what got her into this mess and will only serve to prolong her suffering, or have her being there actually mean something for the Dany storyline, like Cersei has Jon hostage and Dany threatens to start nuking KL if she doesn't let him go and Cersei calls her bluff and that's why Dany suddenly starts genociding everyone and it's actually Cersei who breaks realizing she's dead anyway and she might as well let the 3% of her that's a good person keep her people from being exterminated and surrenders and Jaime tries to save her by demanding trial by combat but Dany just has Drogon fry them both so Cersei wouldn't be completely useless in the final ep and it'd make a bit more sense for Dany to go full Shoah if it's in response to something Cersei does rather than just bells ringing, or at least it turns out she was never pregnant at all and was just lying to manipulate Jaime and Euron into beta orbiting her and Euron finds out and kills her since he's not as easily played as her brother, I read that they actually filmed a scene where Cersei has a miscarriage but they didn't use it because they didn't want to bother with the results which would have been Cersei sending Bronn to kill Sansa thinking she poisoned her in a paranoid fit but they replaced it with nothing with it to the extent that she's acting like she forgot she's pregnant and acting like a retard trying to get herself killed despite Cersei's entire character being about her being an overprotective mother to the extent that it made Joffrey a little sociopath shit and Tommen and Myrcella too soft and trusting to survive in this world all beacuse Tywin raised his own kids to think they had some special destiny just from being his but that was in the first half of the show when someone knew how to write women and characters in general, and Jaime started out already as a nice subversion of the hansom knight in shining armor trope by being a complete cunt but he had a very good redemption arc that was also believable because of his relationships with Brie and Tyrion bringing out the best in him despite the writers seemingly just giving up for his final episode lol I thought he was maybe just lying to Brie to make sure she didn't follow him and was only going to KL to try and save the day but they didn't do anything with it and it's left also ambigious like if Cersei rang the bells or not if he was actually just going back to be with his sister and not try to save everyone but overall their relationship was probably the best "forbidden love" romance I've ever seen usually this sort of thing is super contrived and only there for the sake of an ebin twist there could have been some improvements like maybe establishing when they first started fucking but they covered quite a lot of bases like Tywin finding out and it becoming public knowledge and how this effects their children and such and there were some hick-ups along the way like a certain rape-shaped bump in the road and I feel like maybe it would have been pottery if it was more obvious that Cersei had ordered the surrender bells rung to have the same sort of fucked up kino that Ned got where wanting to protect their family won out in the end and they did the sensible thing and die anyway for it on the whims of some madcunt but I guess I'm fine assuming that she did give that order even if it was off-screen and Jaime regressing to his relationship with Cersei would have maybe been better if it had always been trying to get to her to talk her out of conflict since him leaving Brie didn't ring true but the scene with Tyrion made it make sense that he wasn't just going back for the sake of their fucked up relationship but to be a hero and save the city and it was in fact having that fucked up intimacy with his sister that could be the only thing to save them and him having to fight through Euron to show how dedicated he was was a good tough so I think this is actually a fitting end to these two characters that actually do deserve their place as iconic in pop-culture now and a very very special shout-out to them for probably normalizing incest so every second porn video is about fucking your sister I'll always be grateful and Jaime will always be a secret hero of mine and Cersei will always be my waifu... rip the real main characters of the show who's plots were always the most interesting no matter what dumb shit the supposed main male and female characters were up to



then we cut to some white smoke and ash and pan down through some wreckage that's very 9/11ish and even the soundtrack sounds a bit like sirens and we find Arya, who's survived her like... fourth almost getting killed sequence much I guess could be le realistic if you were going to live through such chaos you'd probably encounter danger around every corner but it's probably only on-screen for le tension if she will le die, covered in blood with other blood all over the wall behind her standing up barely with the strength to do so shivering and breathing shallow, for a second I thought half of her face was gonna be all fucked up and burned so she'd become like The Hound anyway for some fuckedup pottery but I guess not and it'd be pointless anyway since she can change her face lol, and she forces herself to walk out of cover and her face drops and she tears up as she sees... the street is just gone... and everyone that was in it... is now ash... piles of ash...



and she looks down and sees the charred corpse of the little girl who died trying to save her mother.... and her toy horse still clutched in her crispy hand... and a tear rolls down Arya's face as she remembers she used to be a little girl like that... but then she looks over to see... a real white horse, maybe the GC commanders horse? if this episode wasn't clearly well into mental land I'd theorize that maybe Bran is warging into it and sent it to help his sister out of the city but I'm guessing it's just random le cool visuals, well it's just standing in the street... and it sniffs at the ground and looks around like it has no idea wtf is going on either... and Arya slowly walks towards it and notices it's covered in blood but it seems to be humans blood and the horse looks at her like... wtf m8... and she reaches out



and it lets her take it's reigns and it walks up to offer it's back for her to ride as if these two beings of separate species both have complete understanding of each other that they need to get the fuck outta here and she rides him away through the burning black ruined city towards the blown open gate... think there might be some kino there where Arya is implied to worship the God of Death and Death rides a pale white horse in the apocolypse and that's the mount that comes to take her away from all this death like she really is his Chosen One™, Arya is really a broken character since like yeah it's a really good scene when Sandor sends her away but are we forgetting that Arya literally has shapeshifting abilities and such good stealth she can sneak around supernaturally augmented zombies lmao she could probably solo the entire Red Keep, they could have had her do something more interesting having come all the way down to KL for no reason like maybe killing Northern soldiers to save the civilians and then she ends the show as an outlaw opposed to her house since she stood up against their war crimes and is left some Houseless avenger of the weak or some shit



anyway cut to black and music dies out... and... episode over? ok I guess the final 10 mins of my video are some dumbass interview shit where DnD describe what you just saw lmao ok thanks and the funniest thing about these dumb things is like the sound mixing on the clips they show are super fucking bad for some reason? like... it's not the version they air, they super compressed and fucked up the audio when editing it into these interview clips, so it makes the show look and sound like shit, amazing, now obviously there's a lot to talk about but I feel like they didn't show Dany at all after she makes her decision and we don't even get any close-ups of Drogon because this episode was all about seeing the terror of a city being invaded from the point of view of the people inside the city and we'll deal with Dany's character next episode so I'll leave talking about her until then but hopefully it's done well and they didn't miss a beat not showing her decision making process more this episode (probably unlikely if I know my season 8) but yeah like I've said before I fucking love this shit where they show the horrors of war, watching the real version of this episode, just footage and footage of dead bodies from liveleak, should be mandatory viewing for anyone living in a NATO country before they vote lmao because this is what the result is, just absolute carnage and panic and sorrow as something flies above you dropping explosions down you can't effect in any way piloted by someone in no danger at all because some politicians had a disagreement over who gets to order impoverished serfs around which is why I think this is my favorite episode ever of nuGoT from seasons 5 to 8 since like there have been other hela epic set-piece episodes but the big ones like the Battle of the Bastards was just generic good guy miraculously survives being a complete fucking idiot and then the baddy gets his comeuppance after a dues ex machina saves the day and the Battle of Winterfell was very high quality but just a big let down story wise since there was so much mythology built-up and hinted at between the Night King and Bran that went literally nowhere and it turns out you can just stab him lmao but this is what Game of Thrones should be about, oh you think Cersei is the baddy and Dany is the goody come to stop her? no sorry Dany literally does the fucking holocaust on millions of innocent civilians and Jon's army goes about butchering and raping the survivors lmao get both barrels of Realisms Bitch™ to the face, this was basically the TV version of the airport massacre level from Modern Warfare 2 and I fucking love it





Game of Thrones 8x06: "The Iron Throne"
Dany didn't do anything wrong special edition
First aired: May 19, 2019

ok it's time for the final episode I really have my hopes up they'll wrap this up in a satis-



oh............. oh..................................oh........................................................ oh.



we open on Tyrion walking through the ashes of the Golden Company looking around just scared and hurt as fucking human ashes blow in his face and he looks down to see a dead little girl and walks through even more corpses and he passes a shirtless man covered in dirt and burns and only wearing a rag and Tyrion looks over to see a survivor in an alley with their head in their hands sobbing and Jon and Davos catch up with him and they look up to see a dude with his entire face missing and they look in the doorways of just skeleton after burnt out skeleton fills up every place living people used to be like some Judgement Day shit and Tyrion finds the little girl Arya tried to save and sees the toy in her hand and her still holding her mother's corpse like some Pompeii shit and he mutters "I'll find you later" and Jon warns "it's not safe" and he just looks at him like who cares and when Jon offers "let me send some men with you" he just says "I'm going alone" like there's no point anymore and he walks past a massive heap of smouldering corpses and past a destroyed bell that literally has a crack in it like le Liberty Bell for top American imagery and he goes towards what is left of the Red Keep have to say the production design here is really great it really looks like a fucking nuke went off or something







and we cut to the few surviving Lannister soldiers being held captive by the Unsullied and Grey Worm pronounces to them "in the name of the one Daenerys Targaryen... I sentence you to die" and Jon calls "Grey Worm!" and marches up with Davos and goes up to his face and tells him "it's over, these men are prisoners" but he tells him "it is not over until the queen's enemies are defeated" I like SS Commandant Grey Worm he needed some development and Hitler!Dany needs a good enforcer and he's the best fit for the job since everyone else around her is a moralfag and Davos tries to reason desperately "how much more defeated do you want them to be? they're on their knees!" but Grey Worm just snaps "they are breathing" and Davos tries to say "look around us friend: we won" but Grey Worm just explains "I obey my Queen's commands, not yours" and Jon asks "and what are the Queens commands?" and Grey Worm stares him in the face like a robot like it's the easiest choice he has to just slip back into being a mindless drone "kill all who follow Cersei Lannister: these are free men, they chose to fight for her" wait isn't the whole point of Dany's mission here that she wants to free people from Serfdom too lol? and he takes out a knife but Jon grabs his arm and HIS UNSULLIED SOLDIERS ALL LOWER THEIR SPEARS AT ONCE AND ALL OF JONS NORTHERN SOLDIERS TAKE OUT THEIR SWORDS



and Davos has to go "easy men! easy! easy!" and Grey Worm maddogs Jon's arm and then him and Davos comes up and says "we should speak with the Queen" as he can see the Unsullied are mercing these guys with or without them going with them and Jon lets go of Grey Worm's arm and they walk off as GREY WORM STARTS SLITTING THE PRISONERS THROATS ONE BY ONE EDGY, I LIKE IT COUNT: 175 oh I thought he was going to go with Jon to talk to Dany about this but I guess Jon just wants to get out of this show as quick as possible and doesn't care about saving defenceless people lmao well that was a good last pointless lazy characterization attention drawing edgy thing for the road and a nice number to get to, rip "edgy, I like it gimmick" you served my thread well even if you were a little underused in the last 2 seasons since the show sold the fuck out to normies who couldn't handle an off-screen rape scene, I probably under used it since there is gore in almost every scene but I was thinking along the lines of when it's over the top pointless cruelty and not like just usual war of two armed guys fighting



then we see Tyrion walking into what's left of the Red Keep he used to live and work in all those years ago and he walks along Cersei's destroyed floormap in her apartment and walks past the table Tywin used to hold court at and goes up to his father's old desk and picks up a torch that still lights and takes it down into the castles catacombs his brother once rescued him through and when he gets into the caves he finds them blocked off by rubble and he sees just a tiny crack of light at the top that only he could fit through and makes a go of it and once he gets through he finds the dragons old skull there and walks over to a pile of rubble where the exit is he tried to get Jaime to save their sister through and he stumbles across it until he finds... his brother's golden hand... and he falls to his knees and starts to take the bricks away to reveal... JAIME'S DEAD BODY... and Tyrion breaks down crying but keeps digging bricks off of him as he sobs in sorrow that his brother's only dead because he unlocked his chains and sent him on a pointless mission he didn't even turn up in time for and he moves some more bricks to uncover... CERSEI'S DEAD BODY and Tyrion gets so upset he starts smashing a brick into the rubble as now his siblings are gone he's now officially lost his entire family, he killed his own father, his nephew and niece were murdered, his other nephew fucking killed himself, his sister killed his uncle and cousin and now his brother and sister were buried alive as the city around them was razed for no reason, Peter Dinklage gives a great performance as always but I thought it was a bit wack to have him literally find their bodies since it's a bit obvious they'd be dead and finding them under only a few bricks and not the entire tunnel being filled in makes it seem like dumbass Jaime could have saved them by just like hiding in the dragon's skull or just moving a few meters to the left or something lul and this contrivance of Tyrion having to find the bodies which should really be burried alive and he should really have no fucking reason to think he could find them since they could be anywhere within or out of the Red Keep alive or dead but he needs to have this scene due to lazy writing so he knows they're dead goes to show these deaths were really underwritten, the most obvious non-lame conclusion would be Dany fries them both so it has some meaning and Tyrion can see or some pottery where like both Tyrion and Jaime meet up and are trying to get to the Red Keep and then they see a crowd rioting and it's hundreds of people beating Cersei to death as she got caught trying to flee through the streets and Jaime cant help himself but run down to save her and gets beaten to death by the mob too as Tyrion tries to stop him but knows he'll die too if he goes down with him or hell Tyrion cant help himself but try to talk Jaime out of it and just gets killed too so the whole Lannister family gets killed because of how unpopular Cersei is and her ripples of dysfunction even reached Tyrion who's been trying to save all these people which would be kino but also realism since that's how most tyrants die IRL the common people just grab them and lynch them or like Cersei knows she's going to get horribly killed one way or another so begs Jaime to give her the poison she almost used on Tommen to spare her and he can't take watching his sister die so he takes the poison too and they die crying in each others arms but no they got hit by like 3 bricks with no one else around very epic



and then we see Arya for some reason still walking around the ashes of KL, wait.... where'd her horse go? whatever and she looks outside the city to see the Dothraki riding around all riled up and celebrating their victory and Jon walking through them to find two lines of Unsullied guarding the path to what looks like the front of the ruined Red Keep I think and Jon walks through the ranks of Unsullied to start walking up the huge steps and Grey Worm appears and maddogs him wait... how the... how the fuck did Grey Worm get there before Jon? did he suddenly run up there super fast while Jon was taking the scenic route to enjoy the visuals of Dany's fashy parade? I know all the characters unlocked fast travel across the world map last season but this is just getting silly



and Jon hears Drogon roar and looks behind himself to see the dragon flying over the Dothraki who go apeshit cheering for what is essentially their god and the hundreds of Unsullied just stand there like perfectly disciplined statues showing the range of men Dany can command and the giant beast disappears over the wreckage (where the... where the fuck did all these Dothraki and Unsullied come from? didn't they all... like... die to the zombies? what the fuck is happening?)[/SIZE] and Jon steels himself and keeps walking up to the top where... MEIN FUHRER DANY IN HER FASHY AS FUCK BLACK OUTFIT WALKS OUT WITH DROGON SPREADING HIS WINGS BEHIND HER SO SHE LOOKS LIKE THE FUCKING DEVIL



AND HER DOTHRAKI HOARD SCREAM AND SHRIEK IN WORSHIP OF HER LIKE SIEG FUCKING HEIIIIIIIIL while this is absolutely hysterical they're doing this to such a beloved character by normies I think all the people saying this imagery is overdone can eat shit since guess what this is how facism works in real life, no dictator gets on stage and says "I'm going to get you all killed in a pointless war and then top myself when the country implodes lol" no they use literally the exact same rhetoric as Dany has used the entire show where yes the leader might rant about how they're entitled to power and how brutal they are but don't worry they're only brutal to [designated bad group] and will empower your group unencumbered by any other power structures which they will dismantle which seems super cool and badass just like how Dany looks here and even when it's going well the rallies talking abut taking out the enemy never stop until you're in the designated bad group for not wanting to be conscripted or living in the wrong town and are getting burned alive in an airstrike and it works every single time since the average person is about as smart and moral as these Dothraki and love people telling them what to do and are shocked when it ends in a nightmare every single time since humans no think on big scales too good



SHE LOOKS OVER HER FORCES OF PERFECTLY DISCIPLINED UNSULLIED... AND SMILES TO HERSELF where the fuck did all these fucking Unsullied and Dorthraki come from? do the Unsullied reproduce by mitosis since they're asexual? did the Dothraki's fucking respawn timers refresh because Dany is a player character in an RTS? and she calls out in Dothraki or Valyrian or whatever for maximum "fascist leader yelling in foreign language" Hitler imagery "blood of my blood!" and they all calm down real fast to listen in respect but also fear and she declares "you kept all your promises to me" oh god is she going to Hiroshima her two armies too because she's got no use for them and doesn't want them rampaging around all of Westeros or something oh lordy and she gets a proud smile and compliments them "you killed my enemies in their iron suits" with her lips trying to escape her face since Emilia is powering up to maximum overacting



and they all cheer remembering her speech to them when they first saw Drogon and she goes on "you tore down their stone houses" well that was mostly the dragon to be fair and she goes on "you gave me the Seven Kingdoms!" doing the meme where she barely raises her voice when talking to thousands of people several hundred meters away from her since she's actually acting on a greenscreen set lol and DROGON POKES HIS HEAD OUT AND ROOOAAAAARS AS THE DOTHRAKI GO WILD CHEERING THEM ON



and Jon looks over at her forces shook af and she says to Grey Worm and says the "Torgo Nudho" meme again which I think is his real name they just forgot he didn't want to use anymore and commends him "you have walked beside me since the Plaza of Pride... you are the bravest of men, the most loyal of soldiers... I name you commander of all my forces, the Queen's Master of War!" with a manic proud smile on her face and all Grey Worm's Unsullied brothers stamp their spears in support of him even though he was already in command of them he just has the Dothraki now who all holler in support of him too probably to not get Drogon'd lol and Dany turns back to her celebrating forces and as Tyrion sneaks out from the Red Keep behind her she calls out "Unsullied... all of you were torn from your mothers' arms and raised as slaves... now... you are liberators! you have freed the people of King's Landing from the grip of a tyrant!" uhhhhhhh yeah that's one way of looking at it and they tap their shields in unison to show their support but she goes on "but the war is not over... we will not lay down our spears until we have liberated all the people of the world!" uuuuuuuuuh oooooooohhhhh and they all start stamping in support and Jon perks up in a bad way when she says "from Winterfell to Dorne... from Lannisport to Qarth... from the Summer Isles to the Jade Sea!" wait didn't she already overthrow Qarth or did they just not do anything about it being retaken lmao and why is she talkig about overthrowing Winterfell when Jon is loyal to her and the last Dorne leaders were loyal to her? and isn't Lannisport already free since all the Lannisters are dead or working or her? wtf? and Tyrion's face is tripping him as he realizes she's going to exterminate his entire hometown and Dany really gets into it yelling "women! men! and children! have suffered too long beneath the wheel!" as loud as she can doing it literally epic Hitler style



and Drogon roars as she screams "will you break the wheel with me?" and Drogon does the full T-Rex screeching meme as the two armies show their vigorous support and Arya appears glaring daggers at Dany and the Dothraki start riding their horses up and down like popping wheelies (wait how do they understand Valyrian? jesus christ) and Dany breathes heavily like she's literally getting high on the admiration and is about to fucking cum



and Tyrion starts walking towards her and gives a shifty look to Grey Worm who doesn't notice and he comes up beside Dany and looks out over her sea of soldiers and she looks down at him and Drogon lets out a roar as if he can smell someone's close to his mother and Dany just says to him "you freed your brother, you committed treason" and Tyrion admits "I freed my brother... and you slaughtered a city" and Dany turns to him in almost shock that he'd dare say that and Tyrion just takes his Hand badge off very awkwardly knowing she'll probably kill him for it... and throws it down the stairs



and the Unsullied... all stop banging their spears... and even the Dothraki stop shrieking... and thousands of men watch as Dany tries to compose herself and forces out the order "take him" and two Unsullied seize the tiny man as Dany glares at him and Tyrion just walks back from where he came with them giving Jon an extremely concerned look and Jon looks over at her like uhhhh and Dany looks at him like what up punk say something bitch I guess Tyrion did that knowing she's going to merc him anyway and might as well show there's someone standing up to her but seems a bit unrealistic that Dany wouldn't have him killed right here on the spot as she's getting all her men super riled up and is clearly hyped up herself but Tyrion's can double up on his factory-issue mandatory main character plot armor from it being meant to fit a regular sized contrived protagonist I guess



and then she walks off with her guards and Jon follows and watches her walk off and beside him appears Arya with her le stealth abilities and he asks "what are you doing here?" as he thought she was back home and he notices how fucked up she is and asks "hey what happened?" and she admits "I came here to kill Cersei... your Queen got there first" (how the fuck does Arya know this? did Tyrion tell her off-screen?) and as they watch Dany being lead away by four guards Jon mutters "she's everyone's Queen now" and Arya warns "try telling Sansa" idk I think Sansa is the sanest of the Stark family who wouldn't do anything to endanger her people and Jon starts hyperventilating and asks Arya to wait for her by the city gates but she stops him and warns "she knows who you are... who you really are... you'll always be a threat to her... and I know a killer when I see one" *looks over at smouldering city a million people were just murdered in* wow you don't say? and they just watch Dany walk away yeah if only we had a super stealthy shapeshifting assassin on our side hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm my noggins joggin




then in... some building Jon arrives and some Unsullied give him a shifty look so he gives them his sword and he's let in some room with loads of pots to see... Tyrion, why the FUCK are they letting Jon speak to him? Tyrion is obviously the most manipulative person left alive and Jon is the dumbest fuck left alive lmao and his first question is "did you bring any wine?" lmao (wait I thought we're meant to think Dany doesn't care much for Jon anymore as she can tell he disproves of her? or was she just feeling super edgy in that moment? why's she letting him visit Tyrion when he'll very very very obviously turn him against her?) and he thanks him for visiting since "our Queen doesn't keep prisoners for very long, I suppose there's a crude kind of justice... I betrayed my closest friend and watched him burn... now Vary's ashes can tell my ashes: see I told you" yeah it's almost as if that was a really hastily written conclusion to his character and very very very obviously Dany was about to go off the chain and very very very obviously Varys was smart enough to not make it worse and only make a move on her if he was sure it would work I mean in the shows universe in the actual episode he literally just went up to Jon and asked him to do a treason but this is season 8 so everyone needs to roll for their IQ on a D20 as it is DnD writing it afterall and Tyrion autsitically stares at Jon and notes "it just occurred to me, I'm talking to the only man alive who knows where I'm going" yeah that was another plot line dropped real fast lmao you'd think it would come up with him fighting the undead and everything like it'd turn out the Night King could control Jon since he's technically a zombie or Jon actually saw something on the other side that would help them beat the Night King but nope the God of Plot just needed him alive to scream at a dragon for a bit and Jon sighs heavily as Tyrion asks him "so is there life after death?" and Jon admits "not that I've seen" and Tyrion tries to joke "I guess I should be grateful, oblivion is the best I can hope for" I know you're depressed but at least hope for a less shit game and he admits "I strangled my love, I shot my own father with a crossbow, I betrayed my Queen" and insists "I'd do it again now that I've seen what I've seen, I choose my fate, the people of King's Landing did not" and Jon pathetically says "I can't justify what happened, I won't try, but the war is over now" which sounds very much like justifying it lul and Tyrion just asks "is it? when you heard her talking to her soldiers, did she sound like someone who is done fighting? she liberated the people of Slaver's Bay, she liberated the people of King's Landing (American style) and she'll go on liberating until the people of the world are free... and she rules them all" as he stands up and Jon knows what he really means by that but calls him out "and you've been by her side counselings her... until today" and Tyrion just admits "Varys was right, I was wrong, it was vanity to think I could guide her, our Queen's nature is fire and blood" alright so... if... if at the time Tyrion didn't want Varys to turn on Dany which is why he snitched on him why... why did he... tell him Jon's secret at all? uuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhh and what was that shit about Varys writing letters about Jon's secret? he just burned them and it's not gonna go anywhere? uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh and Jon gets triggered maybe because he grew up thinking he had the Stark motto that's on it's own depressing but now he has an even worse one and he snaps "you think our house words are stamped on our bodies when we're born and that's who we are? then I'd be fire and blood too, she's not her father no more than you're Tywin Lannister" and Tyrion admits "my father was an evil man, my sister was an evil woman, pile up all the bodies of all the people they ever killed and they still won't be half as many as our beautiful Queen slaughtered in a single day" and dumb shit for brains Jon dares to say "Cersei left her no choice" and Tyrion snaps "the moment the gates fell the battle was over" and cuck boy Jon tries to excuse "she saw her friend beheaded! she saw her dragon shot out of the sky!" and Tyrion finishes "and she burned down a city for it" and Jon starts whining like a bitch "aye it's easy to judge when you're standing far from the battlefield" HE'S FUCKING JUSTYFING HER WAR CRIMES AGAIN! and Tyrion just asks "would you have done it?" and Jon just asks "what?" like his brain is bluescreening from having to admit Dany's a monster and Tyrion tells him "you've been up there, on a dragon's back, you've had that power, would you have burned the city down?" and Jon swallows and says "I don't know" WHAT? HOW COULD HE NOT KNOW? WHY WOULD ANYONE ELSE NEVER MIND THE MOST MORAL MAN IN THE WORLD? I guess they want us to think that riding a dragon is like taking meth or something and you get addicted to it and it gets worse and worse or something but Tyrion calls him out "oh yes you do, you wont say because you don't want to betray her, but you know..." and Jon has to admit it to himself and whines "what does it matter what I'd do?" and Tyrion sadly says "it matters more than anything..." and Jon looks like he's about to top himself when Tyrion makes it worse "when she murdered the slavers of Astapor I'm sure no one but the slavers complained, afterall they were evil men... when she crucified hundreds of Meereenese nobles who could argue? they were evil men, the Dothraki khals she burned alive? they would have done worse to her... everywhere she goes evil men die and we cheer her for it and she grows more powerful and more sure that she is good and right... she believes her destiny is to build a better world for everyone, if you believed that... if you truly believed it, wouldn't you kill whoever stood between you and paradise?" and Jon just closes his eyes and looks up into the heavens as if praying for help and he sits down and starts sobbing as his life got even more burdened somehow



and Tyrion walks to try to comfort him and he says "I know you love her..... I love her too.... not as successfully as you.... but I believed in her with all my heart........ love is more powerful than reason.... we all know that, look at my brother" and he sniffles as he's starting to cry too and turns away ah so Tyrion was getting cucked that night on the ship well at least he can be beta orbiting cuckold #1 now that Jorah is dead and Jon quotes uhhh someone "love is the death of duty" and sniffles and Tyrion asks "you just came up with that?" and Jon wipes his nose and says "Maester Aemon said that a long time ago" if only he could see his niece now lmao good thing he fucking died (also the actor died irl like a year later so rip since he was a good character) oh and I guess that means that Jon is his uhhhh great nephew all along? what a tweet, and Tyrion does the uno reverse card meme "sometimes duty is the death of love" and he sniffles too someone invent kleenex for these two already and he starts quoting the meme "you are the shield that guards the realms of men and you've always tried to do the right thing no matter the cost, you've tried to protect people, who is the greatest threat to the people now?" as always Jon is the most boring character ever since it's simultaneously unbelievable that he actually loves Dany at all and wasn't just trying to woo her so she'd come and help defeat the White Walkers and it's also unbelievable that someone so obsessed with being honerable would have any problem seeing that Dany needs to be stopped before she nukes another city but it's the last episode so we need to get a bit more fucking brooding in for Jon before closing time and Jon purses his lips as if trying to shit the brooding out his ass and Tyrion keeps pushing, doing his thing of manipulating people by simply explaining the truth to them in a way that makes them behave how they probably should rationally react anyway, admitting "it's a terrible thing I'm asking... it's also the right thing... do you think I'm the last man she'll execute? who is more dangerous than the rightful heir to the Iron Throne?" and Jon sighs as Tyrion starts getting to him and tries to sniffle his snot away and pathetically forces out "that is her decision, she is the Queen" and puts his hand on Tyrion's shoulder and whispers "I am sorry it came to this" and bangs on the door to be let out and Tyrion goes for the killshot "and your sisters? do you see them bending the knee?" I like how he rules out Bran who has ascended to pure plot point at this stage lmao and Jon claims "my sisters will be loyal to the throne" but Tyrion raises his voice "why do you think Sansa told me the truth about you? because she doesn't want Dany to be Queen!" and Jon snaps "she doesn't get to choose?" and Tyrion yells "no! but you do! and you have to choose now" as the door very very slowly unlocks and a guard opens it who would have very very obviously heard them conspiring to kill Dany lmao, well I think that's the most dialog we've had in like two episodes that's mostly just been people standing around staring at each other, lets do a wee bit of research



ok that explains a lot, they've gotten lazier and lazier with the dialog and just added more and more spectacle for the normies as the show goes on lul

and then we cut to Jon walking along a big line of Unsullied while mulling this over in his head and he goes outside into the wreckage that's now covered in snow and looks up at the broken Red Keep and suddenly THE RUBBLE IN FRONT OF HIM STARTS TO RISE UP REVEALING... DROGON HAD BURIED HIMSELF UNDER IT TO TRY AND SLEEP IN THE SNOW



AND HE TURNS TO MADDOG JON AND HE SLOWLY LOWERS HIS HEAD RIGHT DOWN TO HIM AS IF TRYING TO SENSE IF JON HAS ANY ILL WILL but he's not getting any bad vibes so just settles down putting his head under his wing to try and sleep in this god forsaken weather I guess because Jon has Targ blood and dragons are friendly to Targs or something and he lets Jon pass into the dark castle



this show has gotten so retarded I was half expecting him to walk in on Dany cuckolding him with Drogon or something and that's why he turns on her



and then we see Dany step out of the darkness as she finds her way to... the throneroom... that she saw in her vision all the way back in Season 2... of the blown open throneroom with snow filling it up... or wait... is that not meant to be snow... is that meant to be... ASH? is she le Queen of le Ashes now? it behaved like snow when Drogon was sitting up but this show's retarded so who knows and she stares in amazement for the first time at... THE IRON THRONE and creepy singing lady music starts up



as she walks towards it mesmerized and she looks around suspiciously as if she can't believe her dream is finally here and is expecting some bullshit to happen like someone to suddenly run out and attack her which uhhhhhh probably will happen so maybe have some fucking guards with you m8 but she gets to the steps and walks up them towards the throne and her face swells with pride for herself as this is it her lifelong ambition and her blood right finally fulfilled as she puts her hand on one of the swords handles and stares at it almost like a long lost lover and she takes a deep breath to prepare herself to consummate their one-sided love looking like she's literally about to squirt



as she turns around... looks to see... an empty room since she has no one that actually loves her left lmao... and turns back to sit down but then Jon steps out and approaches (wait... so the Unsullied don't trust him with weapons to see Tyrion... but let him go see Dany while he's strapped? ya fucking w000000000t m888888888888?) and Dany tells him without looking away from the throne "when I was a girl my brother told me it was made with 1000 swords from Aegon's fallen enemies... what do 1000 swords look like in the mind of a little girl who can't count to 20? I imagined a mountain of swords too high to climb, so many fallen enemies you could only see the soles of Aegon's feet" and she gets a huge happy grin think that might have been a reference to how it is actually described as reaching the ceiling in the books rather than a regular sized chair and Jon makes her face drop in disappointment as he immediately starts bitching "I saw them executing Lannister prisoners in the street, they said they were acting on your orders" were they though? when did Dany get to talk to Grey Worm if it looked like she was just landing for the first time at the top of those steps since Jon was just wandering around and would have seen them talk? does that mean the genocide was premeditated? and Dany defends like it's the most obvious thing in the world "it was necessary" and Jon snaps "necessary? have you been down there?! have you seen? children! little children! BURNED!!!" and Dany reacts as if her nephew is just throwing a tantrum, well that's exactly what's happening sulis, and she tries to easily explain to baby brains Jon "I tried to make peace with Cersei... she used their innocence as a weapon against me, she thought it would cripple me" which is basically this



I'm not sure wtf she's even saying here it would make sense if she just said I have to rule by fear and KL will be an example to anyone else to not immediately overthrow anyone who opposes me as I have the biggest stick in the world which is how real world sanctioned war crimes are justified (literally and unironically what modern day Americans say about Hisoshima and Nagasaki lmao) and Jon asks "and Tyrion?" as he's seeing Dany is losing the plot and isn't taking those peoples humanity into account at all and is hoping she'll care about a close friend but she just steps forward slowly explaining "he conspired behind my back with my enemies, how have you treated people who've done the same to you? even when it broke your heart?" and Jon can't say shit since he fucking lynched a 12 year old for the same shit and he begs "forgive him" and she says like she's just sorry for his loss as if it's got nothing to do with her "I can't" and Jon whines "you can, you can forgive all of them, make them see they made a mistake, make them understand" and Dany gives him a super condescending look like a little boy is whining at aunty to get him McDonalds again and he begs "oh please Dany" like an absolute cuck boiiiiii and Dany lets the eyebrows pop off as she tries to explain tentatively "we can't hide behind small mercies... the world we need won't be built by men loyal to the world we have"



and Jon tries to force out his jumbled idiot thoughts "the world we need is a world of mercy, it has to be" and Dany promises "and it will be" and comes up to him intimately and gets her megalomania on saying "it's not easy to see something that's never been before... a good world" and whispers it to him like she's a comforting aunty and Jon whines "how do you know? how do you know it'll be good" and she puts her hand on his chest and with some dank ass circular logic she explains "because I know what is good" like it's the most obvious thing in the world and she tries to gaslight him with "and so do you" and he breaks down whining some more "I don't" but she assures him "you do! you do you've always known" and he struggles to look her in the eye and asks like he's so scared "what about everyone else? all the other people who think they know what's good?"



and Dany looks like she thinks she's in a video game where they're the only main characters like she actually believes Jaime and Cersei's thing they'd tell themselves that they're all that matters but Dany literally thinks everyone else is an NPC for her to try to arrange into her ideal world and she just goes full fash saying "they don't get to choose" and Jon looks into her eyes realizing that he doesn't even know who Hitler is but this is probably like that



and she holds him tight and asks "be with me... build the new world with me, this is our reason, it has been from the beginning since you were a little boy with a bastard's name and I was a little girl who couldn't count to 20, we do it together, we break the wheel together" and she almost cries with happiness as Jon growls "you are my Queen, now and always" and DANY KISSES HER NEPHEW JON TIGHT ON THE LIPS AND HE STARTS MAKING OUT WITH HIS AUNT AND...



JON STABS DANY!!! and she's like N-NANI?!



and she collapses in his arms with blood trickling out of her mouth and nose for some reason and dies extremely fast for having a dagger only in her sternum uuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhh ooooooooookkkkkkkk that uh... that was it? she uh... she doesn't get any final words? she can't like... whisper "dracarys" and have Drogon smash in or something cool? and he didn't have to like trick her or sacrifice someone to get to her or fight Grey Worm or distract Drogon somehow he just... chibs her? uhhhh ok fucking Euron got a more attended to final moment than fucking Dany lmao he got to look directly into the camera and do le ebin quip wtf, if you want to know my reaction to this then it was exactly Emilia Clarke's reaction when she found out this is how Dany dies during the first script reading lmao >mfw my career is tainted forever by shit writing killing off my most iconic character in a cringe manner I feel sorry for her since she seems like such a friendly happy go lucky person in real life that's rare for anyone in hollywood but has been given shit to work with for 8 years



not only is it anti climactic since we've only seen Evil!Dany for literally two scenes but it seems a bit out of character for someone was horrifically painfully honest as Jon to use an underhanded method to kill her like kissing her to get a stab in you'd think Jon being Jon he would literally tell her she needs to change her ways or he'll have to kill her and she tells him to fuck off and then he takes a knife out and has an emotional breakdown about what he has to do and she does too and he horribly has to wrestle her to the ground and stab her several times as she screams for help which would be in-character and something actually dramatic and not just le ebin visual twist with little impact or if he's going to use trickery at least go full edge one last time and have him seduce her into bed and then knife her but that would take Jon being able to plan ahead for more than 1 second and then he could come up with some way to cover it up



to be honest this ending would have maybe made more sense for Jaime to do to Cersei since his whole arc was trying to recover from her toxic influence but it's just super duper obvious this is what was going to happen since Jon is such a by the book, well not literally unfortunately, heroic good guy to the point that it seems the writers forgot that he should have some, you know, obstacles in the way of him concluding his story like some sort of, you know, narrative



but anyway he pants and cries and hears Drogon grumbling in the background and just sits there holding his dead lover/aunts body when... Drogon flies past... but Jon doesn't move... and Drogon appears clambering up the wreckage of the castle behind him... and crawls forward to see Jon laying down his dead mother... and Jon just sits there waiting to be immolated, and he stands up and faces his fate wanting to die on his feet and Drogon leans his face in... but he just wants to check Dany... and he rubs his chin against her corpse trying to get her to move... and he prods her and starts whining as he realizes something's very wrong



and he starts snarling and baring his teeth but he just rears up and ROOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAARS in agony into the sky I guess because... Jon's a Targ and he wont... attack a Targ?



and he opens his mouth and starts charging up a fireblast and Jon gets ready to die but............................................................



DROGON INSTEAD UNLEASHES HIS FIRE AROUND THE IRON THRONE, CLEARING ALL THE RUBBLE OUT THE WAY... FOR SOME REASON?!?!?!



AND AS THE THEME SONG KICKS IN THEN FIRES HIS FLAMES FULL BLAST INTO THE THRONE ITSELF SPEWING AS MUCH HEAT AS HE CAN MUSTER INTO IT, TAKE THAT SYMBOLISM FOR POLITICAL POWER!!!



AS IT STARTS TO MELT AND DRIBBLES INTO LIQUID METAL COMPLETELY DESTROYING THE LITERAL SEAT OF POWER THAT'S BEEN FAUGHT OVER FOR THOUSANDS OF YEARS



LITERALLY LIKE THE TEASER CLIP FOR TERMINATOR GENYSIS WHERE IT TURNS INTO A T-1000 WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT OH NO NO NONONONONO



THEY SPOILED THE ENDING OF THE SHOW IN THAT CRINGY AS FUCK VIDEO THAT GOT DOWNVOTED TO HELL AND BACK FROM YEARS AGO AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAA IM LOSING MY FUCKING MIND!!!





and once it's just a puddle, that Dany never even got to sit on the dumb thot, he relents and turns back to Jon as Dany's sad theme music plays as if she ended up breaking the wheel in a way anyway... or like... Drogon did... and Drogon is actually more moral than her.... or I... I guess not since he... killed all those people anyway.... but he doesn't do anything to Jon, he just wants to put his face back down by his mother's body and Jon looks around in utter confusion as Drogon just carefully picks Dany's corpse up by his massive claws and flies off with her almost as if what Tyrion said some maesters thought was true and Drogon was intelligent enough to understand Jon didn't want to do that and it was really his mother's obsession with that fucking chair that got her killed (and he was just like... pretending to be retarded the entire time? or he's actually just a momas boy and was killing people just because she said but now she's dead he's actually a chill guy) and Jon just watches as he gives one final screech and flies off into the clouds across the ocean and cut to black oooooooooooooooooh kaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyy I guess before this whole shit starts wrapping up let me address the dragon sized elephant in the room: the whole DANY BECOMING HITLER AND TURNING KING'S LANDING INTO AUSCHWITZ issue



I think it's fairly clear that we're meant to think that Dany has gone off her fucking nut since she's acting pretty delusionally to keep trusting Jon so not just putting on an act that she thinks that was justifiable and from the bells ringing they were making it clear that she didn't need to attack anyone anymore never mind the entire city and all her shit about Cersei using the citizens as human shields doesn't make much sense since she could have just flown straight at the Red Keep and probably easily hunted down Cersei or had her men do it or only destroy that building which yes would have killed a shit load of civvies but it would have been the run of the mill oh woops randos got caught in the cross fire of me destroying this castle but it wasn't on purpose lol collateral damage bullshit everyone is used to in war and not spending like 20 minutes straight methodically making sure every single square inch of the city is in cinders to get the highest kill count she could, you could have even given her a good reason to get most of KL burned down where if Rhaegal hadn't died in such a dumb way and instead got killed by a scorpion so Dany rages out and just goes about killing every Lannister soldier she sees with the civvies caught in the crossfire like what happens in real life and the fire spreading to cause a London Fire scenario (even tho I think irl it only killed like 3 people) rather than a purposeful genocide lmao, I figure Dany's demented child-of-generations-of-inbreeding-brain-rot reasoning for this is what she told Jon and she actually believes that since Cersei were using the people of King's Landing as human shields they were then a weapon Dany had to disarm of her and it was all Cersei's fault for even trying that against her surrender or not or the shit she said to Jon last episode where if no one will love her in Westeros then she has to rule by fear even though both these things are demented and not going to help her cause very obviously and the truth is Dany's probably just an extremely angry spiteful person from inherited mental illness (which kind of goes against the whole shows theme of changing identities based on your environment and that you don't have to be whatever your family is and it'd be ok to balance that out with the reality that yeah your genes do determine a lot about your future but with how Jaime just says lol fuck being reformed for no reason I think the writers were just brainlets who forgot this theme and wanted le grim endings for le dark characters) and a lifetime of abuse from her brother and then Aquaman that can't accept that she just likes to kill people so when put into a situation where it's very clearly an option people keep discussing that the whole city might catch fire if they go in too hard she can't help herself avoid it and needs to come up with some autistic reason to pretend she's still the good guy when doing it on purpose so Jon really didn't have a choice here and any questions about like why would Dany not see from a mile away that Jon would clearly do this the answer is she's driven herself completely insane and delusional with her constant egomaniac rants and indulging her worst impulses I'll talk more about what they did to Dany at the end since this development seems to be the climax of the finale itself but that's at least what seems to be getting depicted here but I think they missed a good deal with not having Drogon killing Jon, like Drogon is outside looking in and watching them the entire time and will obviously murder Jon if he stabs Dany, but Jon has to make the call to sacrifice himself, and you can even have the imagery of Drogon melting the Iron Throne in an actually coherent manner by having Jon sit on it just out of emotional exhaustion and then Drogon smashes in going apeshit and blasts him on it, and maybe even have Jon survive since he's le fireproof Targ but Drogon just eats him, actually oh my god I just understood what happened: SINCE DANY DIED DROGON GOT HIS 50 IQ POINTS BACK THAT HAD BEEN SUPPRESSED ALL HIS LIFE BECAUSE HER CHARACTER RETARDATION FIELD STOPPED LMAO, THAT'S WHY HE'S SUDDENLY SMART ENOUGH TO UNDERSTAND THE INTRICATE THEMATIC DYNAMICS OF THE SITUATION also I guess it's like pottery or whatever that Drogon has the sentimentality to leave with his mothers corpse but it just makes it even less impactful since like... we just kind of... assume Dany is dead lol? like maybe she was just pretending and will survive since we're well into retard land where Arya survived a stab in the chest and like if they don't give her a funeral pyre there is literally no reason within the shows canon that a Grey Worm couldn't find Dany's corpse and get a Red Priestess to literally bring her back to life and she can go elope with Jon or whatever



p.s. I'm glad I fucked about procrastinating on this thread or 2 months since I just read an article about the script for this ep being released online and the explination for this scene is literally "Drogon wants to burn the world but he will not kill Jon. He breathes fire on the back wall, blasting down what remains of the great red blocks of stone. We look over Jon's shoulder as the fire sweeps toward the throne — not the target of Drogon's wrath, just a dumb bystander caught up in the conflagration." so he melted the throne on fucking accident lmao, now I know scripts are not exactly canon like a book is, the LOST scripts had some weird fucking shit in it where there was near-constant swearing in the stage direction since usually they don't expect many people to read them, but now adays these things are up for emmy nominations and fuck me is this spelled out, I guess we're meant to think he was just angry in general but wouldn't lash out at Jon beacuse... he's... a Targ? even that's giving them too much credit, another top kek was the opening was described by comparisons to holocaust movie Son of Saul and Hiroshima rofl, also I acknowledge I'm doing here what I think I talked shit about normies doing previously in this thread where everyone hyper focuses on the literal text of a show or movie and only cares about le ebin plot twists and while this episode really does have amazing production values and acting this writing is so bad it is completely compromising every other aspect of the show like the themes and characterization which are reduced to nothing and it gets to the point where you can't even enjoy the visuals because you just kinda feel bad for the crew who put so much time and effort into making this for the sake of D&Ds dumbass braindead writing lmao



ok then we open on Tyrion in his cell and we get a like minute long shot of him just staring off into space waiting to die since they know he's the best actor and then he hears men coming to open his door and he sits up and some Unsullied come in and a raged Grey Worm storms up and then we see him being lead down a hallway in chains yeah did you think of this Jon since it seems like Grey Worm might go a bit fucking mental when he finds out what happened and he marches Tyrion out to the uhhh arena place that was in the last season finale and arranged under a tent is all the remaining Lords of Westeros who I guess were already coming up there to bend the knee to Dany or something we have Sam (who in another fuck-up like the starbucks coffee cup has a fucking water bottle by his foot lmao this must be on purpose at this point, oh and in another continuity error it seems like Grey Worm has a pretty big bulge in his pants in this scene lmao), some dude I've never seen before, what's his face uhhh Edmure the dude who's wedding was the Red Wedding and Jaime forced to surrender that castle, the Stark teens Arya, Bran and Sansa, and their advisers Brie, Davos and Gendry (who it's absurd is still alive since he has zero combat training or experience until facing the worst battle in human history lmao) and Tyrion eyes another two dudes I haven't seen and hurrah Yara is back and what seems to be the new Dornish King from his fancy yellow dress, please note none of these people other than Sansa I guess have any guards so why doesn't Grey Worm just have his men march in and kill them all since only Arya and Brie are the only actually good fighters there?



and Sansa asks concerned "where's Jon?" and Grey Worm just says "he is our prisoner" and Sansa looking very fash herself insists "so is Lord Tyrion, they were both to be brought to this gathering" seems like kind of a brainlet move to gather in the ruins of KL after they must have heard what happened here since they'd obviously be next up on Drogon's dinner menu and Grey Worm just says "we will decide what we do with our prisoners, this is our city now" yeah that's some real nice piles of ash you have there m8 and Sansa threatens "if you look outside the walls of your city you'll find thousands of Northmen who will explain to you why harming Jon Snow is not in your interest" and Grey Worm just claps back "and you will find thousands of Unsullied who believe that it is" and Yara, the new Queen of the Iron Islands I guess, says "some of you may be quick to forgive, the Ironborn are not, I swore to follow Daenerys Targaryen" and Sansa reminds her "you swore to follow a tyrant" and Yara snaps "she freed us from a tyrant! Cersei is gone because of her and Jon Snow put a knife in her heart! let the Unsullied give him what he deserves" and Arya just says "say another word about killing my brother and I'll cut your throat" and Yara finna bouta slap a ho when Davos, the only sensible man left in the show, leaps up saying "friends please! we've been cutting each other's throats long enough, Torgo Nudho, am I saying that properly?" and Grey Worm stares awkwardly at him and Davos admits "if it weren't for you and your men we would have lost the war with the dead, this country owes you a debt it can never repay but let us try, there is land in the Reach, good land, the people that used to live there are gone, make it your own, start your own House with the Unsullied as your bannermen" uhhhhhhhhh hang on... none of them can have kids... how can the Unsullied start a fucking House lmao?



but he goes on "we've had enough war! thousands of you, thousands of them, you know how it ends, we need to find a better way!" but Grey Worm sneers "we do not need payment... we need justice!" and Sansa licks her lips as she prepares for war as Grey Worm insists "Jon Snow cannot go free" and Davos just looks sad and Tyrion tries to say "it is not for you to decide" (how? why does Grey Worm respect anyone here when he could slaughter them all and whatever is left of their cuck armies?) and Grey Worm screams "DO NOT DARE TO SPEAK! everyone has heard enough words from you" knowing it was him whispering in Jon's ear that did this since Jon's a beta bitch boy who couldn't have decided to do that himself and Tyrion flinches trying to summon some will power to talk himself alive just a bit more and Tyrion admits "you're right, and no one's any better for it, but it's not for you to decide, Jon committed his crime here, his fate is for our King to decide... or our Queen" wow Grey Worm really stopped Tyrion from talking didn't he... also why the fuck are any of these people listening to Tyrion? why is Tyrion even there if Grey Worm doesn't want him to talk? what? if the issue is what to do with Jon why isn't he just there by himself? or even talking to them at all and not just killing Jon asap lmao? don't half these people hate Tyrion for either being a Lannister or betraying Dany? and beside some other guy I don't recogonize that Lord of the Vale dude who's sitting beside woah, the zoomer King kid grew up to be a Chad! which is like a plot hole in and of itself since wasn't he meant to be sickly? I guess breastfeeding your kids until they're 10 is actually the right thing to do afterall



and his old adviser guy says "we don't have a King or Queen" and Tyrion points out "you're the most powerful people in Westeros... choose one" and looks up at Grey Worm who just maddogs him but then gives in and tells them "make your choice then" and everyone looks super awkwardly at each other and fucking Edmure purses his lips as he bigs himself up and he steps forward and starts up "my Lords and Ladies... I suppose this is the most important moment of our lives: what we decide today will reverberate through the annals of history... I stand before you as one of the senior lords in the country, a veteran of two wars and I like to think my experience has led to some small skill in statecraft and underst-" but Sansa cuts him off "uncle" and he turns and she just says "please sit"



and he gasps like wtf but he looks to the other lords who are super awkward and one fat dude is facepalming and the zoomer King is literally like pretending to look up into the sky to avoid eyecontact he just got dabbed on so bad and Edmure looks at Sam who just criiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinges and he looks back at his niece who just motions to his chair and he excruciatingly cringily whacks his sword against a pole as he tries to sit and then just gives up and closes his eyes and sits down like he just wants to go to sleep and doesn't want to be conscious in that moment anymore he'll be remembering and cringing at for the rest of his life



hahahahahahahha absolutely fucking dominated and cucked, why would Sansa dab on him so bad? he's not a bad guy or anything and he's survived like 10 times the suffering Sansa has and was 100% willing to die for his family last season, from the groom of the Red Wedding to the fucking comedy relief character of the finale, Sad! I've been waiting all thread to post this webm so here we go: she might as well have done this to him



and then the Vale Lord dude says "well we have to choose someone" and fucking Sam asks "uh ahem why just us?" and everyone looks at him like dis nigga finna bouta invent democracy or some shit lmao? and Sam stands to explain "we represent all the great houses but whomever we choose they won't just rule over Lords and Ladies, maybe the decision as to what's best for everyone should be left to...... well, everyone?" and everyone looks around like wait...... and then THE LORDS ALL BURST OUT LAUGHING AT SAM TRYING TO INVENT DEMOCRACY HAHAHAHAHA



AND EDMURE QUIPS "MAYBE WE SHOULD GIVE THE DOGS A VOTE AS WELL?" HAHAHAAH WHAT'S NEXT? WOMEN VOTING TOO? AHHAAHAHAHAHAH



AND THE VALE LORD DUDE CHIMES IN "I'LL ASK MY HORSE!" AND EVERYONE BURSTS OUT LAUGHING AGAIN



and once it dies down with even Sansa stiffing a smile Edmure taunts "I suppose you want the crown?" and Tyrion still in chains replies "me? the Imp? half the people hate me for serving Daenerys the other half hate me for betraying her... can't think of a worse choice" as he eyes Grey Worm and a Lord asks "who then?" and Tyrion thinks of a way to phrase this and says "I've had nothing to do but think these past few weeks, about our bloody history, about the mistakes we've made" and looks at Grey Worm accusatory and steps forward goes on "what unites people?... armies?... gold?... flags?.... stories... there's nothing in the world more powerful than a good story, nothing can stop it, no enemy can defeat it" ah yes very meta well I'll tell you what can stop a good story: letting the Game of Thrones TV show writers take over I think this is literally DnD trying to suck off storytellers AKA themselves, amazing, but he turns to the Stark teens and asks "and who has a better story... than Bran the Broken?" oh oh wait autistic furry gaming addict Bran's going to be the King oh oh what thats ah uh h-heh thats uh let's have a wee look at what the actor thought of that



HAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA not just a prank bro but the camera is indeed over there and what the fuck kind of mean-spirited ass title for a disabled boy King is that lmao? Tyrion you of all people should not be so ableist, why... why's there even going to be a King anyway? I thought Drogon burning the throne meant any kind of monarchy was over? does Drogon understand writing themes better than D&D? and what kind of fucking retard logic is "who has the best story?" did he forget he lives in a medieval setting where people can just make up whatever horseshit they want about themselves like Dany giving herself 12 different tiles or Stannis telling people he was Jesus Christ? JUST TELL THEM JON IS THE RIGHTFUL HEIR SO THEY'LL ALL ELECT HIM AND GET HIM OUT OF TROUBLE YOU FUCKING IDIOT at least fucking Sam bring it up that it should be Jon, or Yara since his claim was better than Dany's which she supported, why would anyone here vote for Bran? the whole point of a King is you have no choice because his family has the most power, maybe the Starks really do have the biggest army left but why does no one here even care to try to do something like bribe Grey Worm to join their side or remind them that like Dorn never expended any soldiers wtf is happening with this fucking American Idol shit where they vote for who has the best sob story?



yeah nice shit idea Bran is clearly high as a kite on DMT, jenkem and nohands edging to incest rape scenes at all times clearly the most suitable one left is Sansa who has a way better story but Tyrion bigs him up "the boy who fell from a high tower and lived... he knew he'd never walk again so he learned to fly... he crossed beyond The Wall, the crippled boy, and became the Three-Eyed Raven" wait wait wait DO ANY OF THESE PEOPLE EVEN KNOW WHAT THE FUCK A THREE EYED RAVEN IS NEVER MIND THE PEOPLE OF WESTEROS WHO ARE MEANT TO FOLLOW HIM BEACUSE OF HIS LE STORY? HALF THESE PEOPLE HAVE NEVER EVEN MET BRAN BEFORE!!! and he looks at Sam knowing he helped him on that quest and he goes on "he is our memory, the keeper of all our stories, the wars, weddings, births, massacres, famines... our triumphs, mm, our defeats, our past, who better to lead us into the future?" and Sansa oh so helpfully points out "Bran has no interest in ruling and he can't father children" hey you don't know that he might not be able to feel anything but maybe the pipes still work and Tyrion just says "good, sons of kings can be cruel of stupid as you well know, his will never torment us, that is the wheel our queen wanted to break" uuuuuuuuuhhhhhh so then who rules after he dies you dumb midget? and Tyrion suggests "from now on rulers will not be born, they will be chosen on this spot by the Lords and Ladies of Westeros to serve the realm" wait what? doesn't that just mean the same shit will keep happening where the richest/most powerful family will just get everyone to vote in their kids over and over again? or maybe the meme is that like the last 3ER Bran is going to live for thousands of years so there will be no other vote for quite a while rofl? and keep in mind that the joke here is they're not ready or full democracy but this is literally and unironically what America's "democracy" is lmao they don't actually get to vote or their leader at all they legally make a suggestion for their representative delegates to vote on rofl and Tyrion walks up to Bran and says softly "I know you don't want it, I know you don't care about power... but I ask you now, if we choose you... will you wear the crown? will you lead the Seven Kingdoms to the best of your abilities from this day until your last day?" and Bran just stares at him with pursed lips and squinting eyes that reminds me of what ytmnsfw shitposted sigge used to do in videos of him harassing his cat that he'd spam on the forums lmao and Bran reveals the GoT series finale spoilers he read 4 years ago: "why do you think I came all this way?" wait so... really what the fuck was the thematic point of Drogon burning the throne as if fighting for it's power is over if Bran is just the new King now? as if no one will try to take power from him? ya wot? are we meant to think this is all part of Bran's masterplan to becoming King? isn't this a bit sinister to the other characters that he seemingly let millions of people die so he can become King? INB4 he actually warg'd into Drogon to burn the throne so they'd elect him since he's sitting in his own throne all the time anyway so is the obvious choice wait he could warg into Hodor even before he became the 3ER he can probably warg multiple humans now lmao he could have controlled everyone to vote for him uh oh, there needs to be a sequel where Bran is the villain since this could get real dark real fast lul



and Tyrion tries not to cry with relief that he's made the right call and he starts up "to Brandon of House Stark... I say aye" and all the Lords brace themselves for the decision but no one says shit until Sam says "aye" (wait how the fuck does Sam get a vote? I know his father was a Lord but he is both a brother of the night's watch and a maester who both are giving up their rights to inheret land and have heirs lmao so he can't be the new Lord Tarly ???? I guess no one even gives a shit anymore since everyone with any actual resource or military power is dead) and Tyrion nods his thanks and Edmure gives in and says "aye" so it'll at least be his family still in power and a random dickhead says "aye" and even the Vale Lord says "aye" and the zoomer prince I guess trusts his adviser for not letting CIA fuck him over too bad and shrugs and says "aye" and he gets more and more "aye"s until Yara gives hers (having forgotten saying she was loyal to Dany one second ago I guess nice writing, I guess Tyrion just rolled a nat 20 on that persuasion check) and Gendry too who I guess is still qualified from the position Dany gave him (even though the Lords who live in the Riverlands you'd think would have a problem with him only being appointed because Dragon Hitler legitimized him lol) and he's looking pretty fash too and Davos quips "I'm not sure I get a vote, but aye" and Brie, now a knight, gives "aye", and Sansa tears up in a very good take and turns to Bran and tells him "I love you little brother, I always will, you'll be a good King... but tens of thousands of Northmen fell in the Great War defending all of Westeros and those who survived have seen too much and fought too hard ever to kneel again... the North will remain an independent Kingdom, as it was for thousands of years!" YES!!! FREE SCOTLAND!!! SCOTTISH INDEPENDENCE NOW!!! wait a fucking second isn't the issue the Northerners only want to be ruled by a Northerner? and Bran is... a Northerner? I guess they're trying to avoid getting cucked like Scotland was IRL by uniting the two countries crowns in one person that's descendants ended up being more English idk and Yara (who hasn't mentioned Theon at all despite him giving his life to save Bran lmao rip) and the Dornish King are like ya wot thot and Edmure looks around like don't blame me lol and Bran just nods, I guess meaning that as King of the Seven Kingdoms he's releasing the North from his power... and Sansa will be the new Queen of the North, and Arya looks over proud that her family and the homelands troubles can finally be over because of her siblings trusting each other even though it's a bit of a let down that Sansa becomes a political mastermind and frees the North by just asking her brother for a favor lmao also if Sansa seperates with the North won't she be controlling the Stark armies and thus leaving Bran with no military might? I guess maybe Tyrion will get the remaining Lannister armies but that doesn't seem like enough and wait..... can like..... can Yara ask for independence of the Iron Isles lmao? or can none of the other Kingdoms be free? did she just not realize she could say that and the time for it is up? awkwaaaaaaard and Dany even promised it to her in front of everyone so that's a very easy wedge for Grey Worm to drive between them but he's clearly as checked out as the writers are



we uh... not going to address that at all? obviously if this show was anywhere near as good as it used to be Jon would have known killing Dany would create an insane power vacuum but did it anyway and the show would end on a new War of the Five Kings with all these people present at each others throats with Grey Worm trying to carry out Dany's will, Yara and the Dornish guy fighting for independence and people trying to overthrow Bran and Sansa which would be pottery but this is retard American tv land we're in now where everything needs to be wrapped up conveniently and Tyrion nods and announces "all hail Bran the Broken, First of his Name, King of the Andals and the First Men, Lord of the SIX Kingdoms and Protector of the Realm" (wait he's not really king of the First Men anymore that's Sansa now lmao holy fuuuuuck the plot hoooooles) and everyone stands... other than Bran lmaooooo and declares "all hail Bran the Broken!" and sit back down and Bran just stares in a very gormless Jon style manner showing he'll be a very uncharismatic leader but I mean he literally has fucking omnipotent psychic powers and if anything kicks off he can just warg into Drogon lul might as well be him but there's also the problem of a deterministic universe so he can't even prevent things only see that he'll see things and tell people and cause them to happen or some shit which should make for a depressing reign and he stops "Lord Tyrion" who steels himself for some more drama as Bran states "you will be my Hand" and as he goes to say "n-no your Grace I don't want it" Bran insists "and I don't want to be King" and Tyrion tries to explain "I don't deserve it, I thought I was wise, but I wasn't, I thought I knew what was right but I didn't... choose Ser Davos! choose anyone!" but Bran insists "I choose you" like he's a pokemon and a triggered Grey Worm insists "you cannot!" as he wants Tyrion's head but Bran just maddogs him saying "yes, I can, I'm King" and Grey Worm snarls "this man is a criminal, he deserves justice" and Bran claps back "he just got it, he's made many terrible mistakes, he's going to spend the rest of his life fixing them" and just stares blankly at Grey Worm who insists "it is not enough" and Tyrion looks down sad



then we cut to Jon who's all raggedy and bearded having been kept locked up for weeks, not sure why he didn't just, you know, fucking leave lmao maybe he turned himself in so the Unsullied didn't march on Winterfell or some shit, but he could have very easily framed it to look like some random survivor did it since she's walking around the throneroom by herself with massive holes in the walls, hell Drogon took the fucking body he could have just said she hopped on Drogon and flew away lol which everyone there knows she did for all of season 6, and Tyrion says to him "giving you to the Unsullied would start a war... letting you walk free would start a war" oh god I can see where this is going... they're going to send him back to The Wall as his punishment... even though manning it is pointless now the White Walkers are gone and Wildlings are, well, fucking manning it themselves lmao, and he explains oooooooooh here we goooooooo "our new King has chosen to send you to the Night's Watch" whyyyyy would they do that when Jon is literally like the commander of the Wildlings and he could march them down to fight Grey Worm or some shit? why would Grey Worm be ok with this? does he even know what the Night's Watch is lmao? and Jon looks around asking what I want to know "there's still a Nights Watch?" and Tyrion now dressed up fancy just says "the world will always need a home for bastards and broken men" and the exhausted looking Jon just hangs his head and sighs as Tyrion does the memes to him "you shall take no life, hold no lands, father no children... the Unsullied wanted your head of course, but Grey Worm has accepted the justice of a life sentence, Sansa and Arya wanted you freed, but they understand our new King needs to make peace... no one is very happy, which means it's a good compromise I suppose" and Jon can't believe he's sentenced to the fate his dumbass chose of his own free will 8 whole years ago but just wants to know "is it right? what I did?" and Tyrion corrects "what we did" and Jon reveals "it doesn't feel right" and Tyrion just says seriously "ask me again in 10 years" oooh sequel baaaaait and walks up to his broken friend who I guess really did love Dany in some fucked up combination of lover and Queen and aunt and he puts his hand on his shoulder as the two men try not to cry and Tyrion goes to leave as Jon says "I don't expect we'll never see each other again" and Tyrion smirks "I wouldn't be so sure, a few years as Hand of the King would make anyone want to piss off the edge of the world" and Jon tries to smile remembering the first time they met almost a decade ago as his old friend leaves



and then we see Jon I think walking free from his cell in his old wolf fur coat outside and past two Nigth's Watchmen I guess who are escorting him to a fleet of ships..... that came from where exactly? and why is KL looking so intact in the background didn't it all get... you know... Dany'd? anyway these ships that came out of nowhere that will take him back up North I guess and he looks out over the bay to see the Dothraki loading their shit up to I guess just fuck off back home with some dank ass stories to tell... wait... how... how did they even get ships? did Bran ask them nicely to leave? who even speaks their language? don't they have a thing where they follow whoever killed their last leader? or is that not a thing anymore and they're just leaving? even though you'd think a group of battle hardened killers who's entire warrior culture is based around raping and pillaging would have a bit of an issue with their Queen they all swore loyalty to follow being betrayed by Jon after she'd just shown how powerful they can be together and just swore them even more glory and they might want to do something bad to this relatively rich as fuck continent completely depleted of it's armies but I guess they were homesick since the writers forgot the best part of GoT is how violence just leads to worse violence and it never fucking ends it just goes on in a cycle of tit for tat and unforseen blowback forever just like real life and in large scale conflicts it's hard to see who started it or who's in the right, e.g. the first 3 seasons only happen because Jaime shoves Bran out a window and it leads to the War of the Five Kings which effects are still being felt, as opposed to the final fucking episode where an army of savage rapists just decides to leave peacefully lmao that should sum up the whole show having two armies that should be in a bloodlust rage just giving up so the story can be over already lmao



and there's quite a lot of people there in the dock I guess everyone turned up from the surrounding area after hearing there's some uhhh vacancies in town and Jon and Grey Worm share one last maddog with Jon just looking sad but the extremely butthurt look Grey Worm has on his face for the entire second half of the episode is hilarous as if he knows he should kill Jon and Tyrion but these two evil Gods who's followers call them D&D are preventing him from acting rationally



and an Unsullied tells him "all the men have boarded" and Grey Worm says "good, we sail for the Isle of Naarth" I guess fulfilling his idea with Missy to go and protect her people... even though isn't there like lethal butterflies that kill outsiders or something lol? and there's no indication that Naarth would want a bunch of weirdo freak killers who they need to home and feed? could have gone back to Meereen to work with Daario who I'm guessing needs all the help he can get what with being one of the least diplomantic characters in the series who betrays people on a whim that Dany thought wise to give an entire city to lmao and they never addressed what happened to the three other cities Dany also overthrew and the fourth one she killed the leader of so I assume they are just as fucked as Westeros? thanks Mhysa!



but wait.... wait... if the only reason Jon needs to be banished to The Wall is the Unsullied are mad at him..... and they're leaving the fucking continent.... can't he just..... not..... go? uhhhhhhh is that... is that really going to be the end of Jon's story? what was the point of the last two season finales ending in twists about his parentage? the rest of Westeros is not even going to find out he has a claim to the throne?



and Jon sees his siblings and we hear Sansa tell him "I wish there had been another way" and we cut to her looking real sad and she asks "can you forgive me?" and Jon can't process his emotions even after all this and just says "the North is free thanks to you" but she adds "but they lost their King" and Jon assures her "Ned Stark's daughter will speak for the, she's the best they could ask for" and she gives him one last hug and he holds his sister but really cousin tight and then turns to Arya and tells her "you can come see me you know, at Castle Black" and when she says "I can't" he jokes "you think anyone will dare tell you women aren't allowed?" and she smiles at how much Jon gets her but she tells him "I'm not going back North" and Sansa asks "where are you going?" and she just asks "what's west of Westeros?" wait if she wants to know so bad why doesn't she just get Bran to warg over there lmao? why does everyone keep forgetting their little brother is a demi-god? oh well have fun dying at sea you dumb thot (also in the script this is followed by the line Jon and Sansa look at each other. They both failed geography. haha what? but both characters spend an inordinate amount of time staring at maps? christ, the acting in this show just got more impressive if THIS is what they're working with) and Jon smiles at his sister and admits "I don't know" and she says all proud "no one knows, it's where all the maps stop, that's where I'm going" and he accepts that knowing if anyone can do it it's her and she tears up that after all she's been through and done she can't really stay with her family anymore and Jon just asks "you have your Needle?" and she grasps it saying "right here" and he holds her tight giving her a bit brotherly hug and then finally kneels before Bran who's always in his throne and says "your Grace..." completely meaning it and then looks up at the stoic boy and apologizes "I'm sorry I wasn't there when you needed me" and Bran smiles a little and does the meme "you were exactly where you were supposed to be" and Jon struggles to rub his two braincells together to understand what he's saying and seems to just give in and step up knowing his brother respects him too and he gives them all one final brooding look for old times sake before walking off to the rowboat to be taken back to The Wall



then later Brie, who's wearing the less-edgy than the all-black Cersei version golden Kingsguard armor and on her chest seems to be Bran's new sigil of a raven, even though Brie is sworn to protect Sansa? wtf is she doing in KL? well I guess maybe she was devoted to Caitlyn's kids in general so now she is protecting Bran? is in that room Jaime was so concerned with with that book he was so concerned with and finds herself on the page he was so concerned with after flicking past the page about Barry, thank god he and Jorah died before they could see what would become of Dany lmao, and reads his entry that goes "squired for Barriston Selmy against the Kingswood Outlaws. Knighted and named to the Kingsguard in his sixteenth year for valour in the field. At the sack of Kings Landing murdered his King, Aerys the second at the foot of the Iron Throne. Pardoned by King Robert Baratheon" huh didn't know he was Barry's squire, and it looks like Jaime added his own paragraph (wait I thought it was dyslexic and you know... right handed lmao? holy lord why are there so many plot holes in this ep) "Thereafter known as the Kingslayer. Ater the murder of King Joffrey I by Tyrion Lannister served under King Tommen I." also there's some weird ye olde shit where they use ":" instead of "." and they also use the british spelling of valor I'm sure that's interesting to some autists somewhere and to honor her lover who cuckqueaned her with his own sister she dips a pen in ink and starts adding far more detials to his life story starting out with presumably "lost his hand" and turns the page to add "Took Riverrun from the Tully rebels, without loss of life. Lured the Unsullied into attacking Casterly Rock, sacrificing his childhood home in service to a greater strategy. Outwitted the Targaryen forces to seize Highgarden. Fought at the Battle of the Goldroad bravely, narrowly escaping death by dragonfire. Pledged himself to the forces of men and rode north to join them at Winterfell. Faced the Army of the Dead, and defended the castle against impossible odds until the defeat of the Night King. Escaped imprisonment and rode south in an attempt to save the capital from destruction." and dips the pen in ink and thinks hard about what else to add and then finishes it with "Died protecting his Queen." and then thinks if she should add any more of the sad details but elects to literally shut the book on Jaime's life (without letting the ink dry, thus ruining the book, you dumb bitch) so history will remember him as one of the bravest heroes to ever live and not a narcissist who fucked his own sister lmao and hopefully no one reads the page about Cersei and realizes that "his queen" was a treasonous whore who bombed the holiest building in the nation in a terror attack, well that was poetic but kind of a contrivance that that room and book survived getting Drogon'd and funny that Brie was such a expectations bending female character but still ended up having her conclusion being about remembering falling in love with the man who took her virginity but left her like any other fair maiden lmao, actually now that I think about it almost every other strong female character (Margery, Lady Tyrell, Elly, Catelyn, Cersei, Dany) got brutally murdered, the savoir Queen went insane because she didn't get dicked, Arya was useless and just got even more innocent people killed, the most morally heroic character died trying to redpill us that women can't be leaders and the new monarch ended up a King anyway rofl, feminists rekt compilation #69 indeed it really is funny how worse the writing got where motherhood was a central theme with the most conflicted male characters never meeting their mothers like Jon and Ramsay and with all these great female characters being crucial parts of the show having great influence on this world from behind the scenes from their different methods of survival, the way they raise their children, their romantic relationships allowing them access to power and it all being very sympathetic and believable but when they become the actual Queens they are written as extremely retarded insane emotional idiots lmao bravo DnD!



and then in the cleaned up court chamber table thing his father used to sit at Tyrion sits down having become Hand for the... third time? I guess Grey Worm was determined to have Jon punished but doesn't care about the dude who's idea it was who can just go on to have the second most power in the nation again? and looks around at all the empty chairs like uuuuuuuhhhhhhh realizing everyone else who used to sit there is fucking dead and starts nervously putting the chairs back into position under the table so they don't seem so empty and when he gets to Varys old chair he stands by it and looks around not knowing what to do now, that was literally like a minute of screentime of Tyrion shifting chairs lmao, they're really overdoing the decompressed style in this episode, people make fun of Better Call Saul for overdoing it but every drawn out sene serves a point to demonstrate something about the characters or their experience, this episode is just kind o wasting time that could be used on, oh I don't know, Dany and Jon having more than one conversation lol, and the door opens so he rushes to take his seat to pretend like he's not horribly depressed but in come his new advisers, fucking Bronn who last time we saw him extorted him and his brother with death threats lmaowhat the fuck is Tyrion thinking giving this very obvious literal and metaphorical backstabbing selfish sociopath any political power? does Tyrion actually have brain damage from alcoholism? what is hapenningngngg aaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA we're well into retard land now



he comes in and grabs a seat and in comes Davos, who I just remembered has a wife that I don't think he's even seen in 6 years to tell her their son died lmao, and Sam who from his dress is finally a Maester but also the head Maester guy, I guess they decided just fuck it and let him graduate since everyone who'd care is dead and he's already voided the oaths of both a Nightswatchmen and a Maester by taking a wife and child lul, and puts down a big book and Tyrion asks "what's this?" and Sam says "A SONG OF ICE AND FIRE™ BY GEORGE R.R. MARTIN AVAILABLE NOW ON AMAZON.COM" REALLY? JESUS CHRIST! WELL AT LEAST THERE'S ONE REALITY WHERE HE FINALLY FINISHES THE BOOKS!



and Tyrion opens it to a fancy title page as Sam explains "Archmaester Ebrose's history of the wars following the death of King Robert... I helped him with the title" and Tyrion bashfully says "I suppose I come in for some heavy criticism" and Sam assures him "oh well I wouldn't say that" and Tyrion tries to find mentions of himself and is pleasantly surprised to hear "oh he's kind to me? never would've guessed" but Sam cringes and Tyrion realizes "he's not kind? he what? what does he say about me?" and Bronn and Davos look awkwardly at Sam who admits "I... don't believe you're mentioned *ahem*" and cringes and they all look around like criiiiinge and Tyrion reads a passage completely ignoring him and looks around fucking fuming lmaoooooo how is that even possible? he's like the most instrumental character in the recent history of KL and so notorious people do plays about him on other continents? whatever, then the door opens and in comes "your Grace", fucking King Hotwheels himself, who they somehow got up all those stairs, being wheeled in by his new Kingsguard Brie, who also takes her seat and they all look up expectantly at the King who says "we appear to be missing a Master of Whisperers... and a Master of Laws... and a Master of War" maybe that would be a better job for Bronn since that's literally all he knows how to do well you fucking idiot? and Tyrion says "yes your Grace, suitable prospects will be brought to you for an audience in the coming weeks" fucking Arya shoulda been the new Master of Whisperers rather than fuck off to die in the sea due to having no sailing experience or just... you know... Bran himself since he can you know... astral project through time and space... oh well and Bran asks "and Drogon? any word?" as if he has my idea of using him as a warg and Sam says "he was last spotted heading East" I guess going back home to the climate he prefers to terrify poor farmers again and Bronn cant help but say "the further away the better!" remembering his hellish experience with him and Bran suggests "perhaps I can find him, do carry on with the rest" and Bronn looks confused how the fuck a crippled 18 year old is going to catch a dragon (so I guess no one else even knows about him being the 3ER? lol what a pointless storyline, in fact all the supernatural elements were pointless, all the prophecies about Dany's child, all the prophecies about Jon, all the symbols the White Walkers made, the elf girls, the Lord of Light being proven to be real in front of thousands of people, the Red Priestesses, the Faceless Men, all amount to fuck all anything lmao) and Tyrion just says "as you wish your Grace" and Brie calls over the very proud of himself SER PODRICK OF THE KINGSGUARD



to escort Bran to his chambers and everyone stands in respect and Tyrion announces "we serve at your pleasure, King Bran the Broken, ruler of the Six Kingdoms and protector of the realm" kind of a mean name but uh ok and they all say "long may he reign" with even Bronn doing it and Tyrion promises "that will improve" as they all almost forgot but Bran doesn't give a shit really and just jokes "I'm sure it will" as Pod takes him away to warg, I can't fucking believe Bran is King lmao when they went over it very clearly that he doesn't consider himself Bran anymore or even really human, like why would he care about anything when he can see how it'll all pan out? and if he does how will it even be a human reaction and not some Dr. Manhattan shit where you just have to hope whatever unknowable decisions he makes align with what a normal person wants? wouldn't it be kind of scary to have a completely emotionally detatched spiritual force who's borderline omnipotent and can see through the eyes of animals as your King? what if there's some disagreement over his rule? he's basically a one-man surveillance state, how would you ever hope to overthrow someone like that if he wasn't doing a good job? which he probably won't since he barely cares about anything anymore? fucking Gendry would have made more sense lmao, INB4 determinism isn't actually accurate in the GoT universe and Bran just let all this happen to be King and the Night King was actually the hero trying to stop him from taking over the world lmao and Tyrion starts teasing "Ser Bronn of the Blackwater, Lord of Highgarden, Lord Paramount of the Reach and Master of Coin" while he looks super smug and self-satisfied even though obviously Tyrion could just have him arrested at any time for threatening to murder him lmao or at least not, you know, put the greediest man he's ever met in charge of the kingdom's finances? who literally admitted he doesn't know anything about finances in season 2? doesn't Bronn not even have a last name he's so common? and now he's got the Tyrell family's old position? doesn't that make FUCKING BRONN the most influential Lord then? doesn't that mean he's in charge of everyones food and if this fucking backstabbing retard fucks up the whole country has a famine? WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING? IS THIS FANFICTION?!!?! and he chides "would you say the crown's debt to you has been paid?" oh isn't there the issue of Cersei running up another debt with the Iron Bank lmao? drama's never fucking over, and Bronn agrees "in full my Lord Hand" and Tyrion says "good, time to start incurring a new one, we have hungry people to feed, can we expect some assistance in this regard?" and Bronn, becoming the new Tyrells the crown is in-debt to, smarms "indeed we can", and Tyrion starts "Lord Davos, we have an armada to rebuild and ports to repair" and Davos using his sea-fairing speciality to be Master of Ships I guess although a far more fitting appointment would be Yara and keep her on their good side but that would make some sense so can't happen says "we have, these projects will begin as soon as the Master of Coin and Lord of Lofty Titles provides funding" and Bronn quips back "the Master of Coin looks forward to helping the Master of Ships but first he has to ensure we're not wasting coin or soon there won't be no more coin" and Davos corrects "any more" which is a nice touch that he still has habits he picked up from both Stannis and Shireen and Bronn claps back "ye Master of Grammar now too?" which is a job of my fucking dad if I ever heard one and Tyrion can't take any more witty banter and asks "Grand Maester? *ahem* it is my theory based on my years of work on the Casterly Rock sewers that clean water leads to a healthier population" wow I guess Sam is the big hotshit Maester now although idk of Grand outranks Arch as he says "the Archmaester has done some research on the subject and it turns out-" and Bronn is already assured "the strong live and the weak don't" and shrugs his shoulders as if it's obvious and these nerdy dudes just need to live in the real world like him and Sam looks offended and Tyrion orders him "find the best builders and set them to the task" and Bronn pipes up again "oh speaking of buildings all the best brothels burned down, the Master of Coin is willing to fund reconstruction" and Sam being quite the white knight adds "uh... the Archmaester is less than enthusiastic about the salutary effects of brothels" don't even know what that word means, also I thought he was the Grandmaester not Archmaseter? how many fucking plotholes are they gonna get in in the final few scenes lmao? and Bronn just quips "well I imagine he isn't using them properly" as if he is going to be the new CIA pimp guy and Sam is going to be the new Varys who's always busting his balls about it and Brie chips in "I think we can all agree that ships take precedence over brothels"



and the camera pans out as happy but also forlorn music plays as we zoom away from all our favorite characters having their last ever epic banter and there's some probably accidental kino where there's a big crack over the map of Westeros on the floor as if to say how much damage the country has taken in the last 7 years but it's also a bit retarded since it's like split in two and this scene is meant to show that everything is going to be ok and everyone is fairly united in working together and Bronn jokes "I think that's a very presumptuous statement" and Tyrion does le ebin callback to "I once brought a jackass and a honeycomb into a brothel" being the last line of the conversation (and the episode... and the show.... amazing) what the fuck is a honeycomb even? and they're not going to talk about anything that just happened? like the whole Dany getting murdered thing? I guess Dany is getting the Night King treatment (and I guess the Cersei treatment too lmaoooo) where they were a continent ravaging mega-Stalin but they got killed off in such an embarassing way the characters just want to forget about it, holy fuck do I hope GRRM gave DnD all the worst obviously shit ideas and saved all the good ideas for endings for the books lmao, imagine being a book fan for 23 fucking years and this is the real ending oh no no nononono but I guess everything that goes down so far could be arrived at in a quality way if it was just given more gradual build-up and not so rushed so maybe he just gave them some rough bullet points, I'll talk more about this ending later but all I'm gonna say is just look at the tone of this scene, which is literally like something from Community lmao with all the comedic characters sitting around a table making quipy small-talk, and compare it to literally any random scene from the first four seasons where every line of dialog had some nasty grimy gritty cruel undercurrent to it... actually just compare this scene to the rest of this episode and see how jarring it is lmao, what a normie pandering scene



actually you know what this scene was like? THE FUCKING SESAME STREET CAMEOS HAHAHAHA OH OH HO HO ACTUALLY ITS BETTER THAN TYRIONS ACTUAL ENDING HAHAHAHAHA



well, I can't believe fucking Podrick survived but good on him he was a nice "ascended NPC" to have around for a grounded perspective, Davos never really got much development other than his strained relationship with the Red Lady but he was an all around based guy, I've said how much I like Brie before but she was always a side character who never had much to do other than like side mission fetch quests and we didn't even get to see her family and as much as they fuck up Jaime's character development they did her dirty too since they literally had this woman who's life revolves around honor and knighthood getting pumped and dumped by the man who knighted her and like a complete cuck she puts up with it and cries for him as he leaves rather than seeing he's not the man she loves and steeling herself to him or like literally fighting him to stop him going and getting himself killed so it'd be a nice thing where you might relapse into addiction but if you have a support network they can help you but now she just gets pumped and dumped by chad after being the only actually independent woman in the show because of her physical abilities and then she pathetically gives Jaime his positive yelp review her character should have really ended with her taking on Jaime's old pessimistic attitude towards knighthood after realizing Sansa got Dany killed on purpose or something and give up following all these inherently corrupt Lords and Ladys and becomes a wandering dishonored AWOL badass like The Hound who hunts down bandits or something



I'm also surprised Sam survived since he seemed like easy fodder to die at any time to make Jon sad and punish him for some foolish decision but the writers knew there were too many fat neckbeard incels who could relate to Sam so kept him around, Bronn has been a walking fucking meme for several seasons and should have frankly definitely been killed off ages ago if the show still had some balls and wasn't just fodder for normies to gawk over like have Jaime just kill him when he threatens his brother to show how much he loves his family or something, I got tired of Bran as soon as I realized we'll never get any more content with the supernatural Night King shit and all he ever was was le ebin mysterious kid which is a let down that we never learned anything else about all the mystical themes of where his visions come from and shit like talking about the gods and their avatars or any of that shit and it's honestly super unfitting that he's wins the throne since he's clearly very removed from humanity and will probably just be a figurehead with Tyrion as the real shot caller, it would have made a lot more sense thematically for it to be Sansa since she's been learning to play "The Game of Thrones™" the entire show and Bran's storyline was completely separate from most of that shit and is done now the White Walkers got the "kill the final boss and the hivemind instantly shuts down" video game treatment, hell even fucking Gendry has a better claim to the throne lmao just let him have it if he's just going to be a puppet who doesn't really want it, but Tyrion was an amazing character and probably one of the best written, well in the first four seasons at least, and definitely always acted, le master manipulator type character because he's just very convincing and can understand other peoples perspectives but is also very well meaning so can just get people to see reason and it'll probably get them to do what he wants unlike most manipulative characters who are of selfish or ill intent and have to try to trick or threaten people that's more often than not a bit cliche and gets old fast and what a great fucking role or a *checks notes on PC term* Little Person™ to play he's not some retarded meme role like a wacky elf or some shit but a guy who would be great even if he was regular height but having dwarfism is just another aspect of his life that's addressed too and he even gets to merc a few people so it's even an actiony role which he probably thought he'd never get to play, and even though he got the mandatory 50 IQ points docked from him for meeting Dany, had no interesting development after what you'd think would spur big changes like killing his fucking dad and love of his life and did dumb shit like trust his sister that would have 100% gotten him killed in the first half of the show (you know what would have been an actual subversion of le expectations? if Cersei actually did get redeemed and actually did go to help fight the zombies and she's basically the hero trying to defend KL against mental Dany in the end) from how plot armored up the writing got and he ends up being rewarded for becoming just another one of Dany's beta orbiter friendzoned manlets and snitching on based MGTOW Varys but over-all throughout the whole show Tyrion, Jaime, Cersei and Tywin were still such amazing characters, this whole family were the gift that kept on giving, thank god Tywin was spared the horror of going off-book and even when the show got super duper retarded at least one of the Lannister siblings was doing something engaging, in fact they make me want to learn more History like I just watched a video about Nero being fucked in the head because his mother was a product of cousin incest and he was fucking his own sister and his mother helped get him into power by poisoning her husband and he ended up abusing his wives himself but it was all for nought since he made so many enemies they overthrew him and I'm like yep that's some Lannister shit in fact he killed his mother too and her last words were telling the guards to stab her in the womb for giving birth to her killer which is more kino than le rocks falling on you thanks D&D



then at The Wall where Jon has his fitting fate of being in the most boring as fuck location for the most boring as fuck character in the show a sad horn rings out to announces he's coming and him and the two men ride up to the gate and he takes a deep breath to face the rest of his life and he looks up to see... Tormund, who for some reason is still manning Castle Black as if he was waiting for him to come back somehow, who just gives him a solemn nod like welcome back bud, and Jon rides in and the doors close behind him and we fade to black... then we open on a close-up of Longclaw with Jon picking his sword up off the table, Arya sheathing Needle, Sansa having a fancy metal breastplate armor put over her dress, Arya sheathing CIA's dagger, Jon sheathing Longclaw, Sansa having her coat put on her that is embroidered with the red leaves of the holy white tree, Jon rolling up what looks like a surgery kit for frostbite I guess, Arya rolling out a map of the known world and picking up a spyglass and walking out through a ship, Jon walking through Castle Black, Arya walking through the halls of Winterfell, Arya going up some stairs onto the deck of a ship, Jon looking out into the courtyard at all the Wildlings that I guess he's in charge of now, Sansa walking to her throneroom as all her Northmen bow to her, Arya walking through the deck as sailors go about their business, Jon walking through the Wildlings, Sansa walking past everyone bowing (so much for her saying Northerners are done kneeling lmao), Arya walking along the deck, Jon walking through the Wildlings who part respectfully for him and he looks over and sees with a smile... GHOST, HIS FAITHFUL DIREWOLF, EAGERLY WAITING FOR HIM



and it looks like he's had to have one of his bitten ears amputated and has some fucked up scars on his face but he's still as hansom as ever and he sniffs and licks at Jon affectionately and almost knocks him over giving him a nice big nuzzle as Jon pets him with a huge grin (I am pretty sure they edited this shot in hastily using a similar scene from a previous episode because fans were bitching that Jon didn't pet Ghost goodbye in episode 4 lol), and it seems like they've given Arya her own boat with a Stark direwolf masthead and she's in command of it and looks out to sea to become the Christopher Columbus of the GoT world even though wasn't her whole story in season 7 about how the Starks need to stick together or something whatever it's like she's aware the show is ending and the story is done lol, and Jon and Tormund saddle up as the gate raises, and Sansa has her crown as Queen of the North put on her head and looks around proud of all she survived to make it this far as she takes her throne and a man yells "THE QUEEN A THA NORF!" and everyone takes their swords out and pledges themselves to "THE QUEEN A THA NORF! THE QUEEN A THA NORF! THE QUEEN A THA NORF! THE QUEEN A THA NORF! THE QUEEN A THA NORF! THE QUEEN A THA NORF!" and she has some sick-ass bad-bitch fashy energy herself as if she's going to be a villain herself since she has like literally no one left in the North loyal to her and is all alone with some old beardy men she'll probably lose favor with and have to kill soon



and there's some sick violin solo or some shit as Arya sails to the horizon doing her dumb dream she told that dead actress and the camera pans up to show the Stark sigil on her sails, and Jon, Ghost and Tormund ride out beyond The Wall ...why?... what the fuck's there to do up there but die from the increasingly bad weather? I thought they wanted farmable land under The Wall? or is winter over? was it actually the Night King causing the coming winter weather himself? you see some grass growing so I guess that's the implication... oh... so when they said Winter is Coming™ a billion times they meant it'd last one night... great... well it seems like they're taking the Wildlings with them and Jon is just abandoning The Wall all together and finally going to be a Wildling and live a true free life and we see some tall ass dudes who maybe have a bit of giant in them like Hodor maybe did and Jon looks back as he watches the gate close for the last time and he looks around at the Wildlings and gives a tiny smile as he realizes these are his people now and he rides on with them into the woods and we see loads of Wildlings following him in a shot similar to the final shot of season 2 of the White Walkers but now it's humanity going back up there to reclaim the North... which was meant to be a punishment for Jon but that seemed to be what he wanted to do all along? so he was just like... pretending he didn't want to go? or he's just really really fucking stupid? and doesn't this mean that this is the last of the Stark line since like Arya and Sansa can't continue their family name in this culture, Jon has fucked off all together (although I guess the upside is the Night Watch oaths mean jack shit anymore since Sam inherited his fathers land lol) and Bran's fucking dick doesn't work as Sansa has seemingly personally tested? you know what this reminds me of? the fucking end of Dexter lmao, but times four, instead of Dexter inexplicably surviving a hurricane to become a lumberjack so they could include him in cameos for a spin-off that never happened, all the remaining four Stark kids have a change of career that's left open ended and it feels almost like they're baiting for a spin-off or something that will also no doubt never happen since all the actors want to move on and it sounds like they're going to have to make a bunch of prequels set in the distant past about the first White Walker invasion as if anyone gives a shit about that now knowing how it ended, anyway show's over, DnD didn't even do their usual after-episode blathering since they're out of excuses lmao



alright, so... Jon Jon Jon Jon Jon, I'd talk mad shit about him but it seemed like he really was written as a fucking idiot lmao, his first two seasons worth of story was extremely boring but honestly his storylines in season 3, 4 and 5 were actually pretty good with the intrigue with Mance, the mutineers and the White Walkers but he just lost any tension when he got rez'd (although I guess now we can at least pretend Allah wanted him to kill Dany for not being his proper avatar or some shit, oh who am I kidding they forgot all that shit about the gods maybe being real or not), his story in 6 was rushed and concluded in an extremely contrived way that confirmed the show had gone off into retard cliche land and his relationship with Dany was just really forced and you never believed either would see anything in the other since they're so different and not in a compatible way like he was with Ygritte and he basically did nothing for the last 2 seasons because he got contaminated but Dany's retardation effect but he really didn't deserve to survive but that whole concept went out the window seasons ago but if the show was not retarded he would have died in charging the Bolton's in season 6 or simply not been resurrected at all and it'd switch to the other Stark kids as the new protagonists like uhhh Arya, Arya Arya Arya, at least she wasn't generic as fuck token le chosen one protagonist like Jon even though I guess she was in the end but she was a pretty good character where she was kind of the embodiment of the show's take on the usual revenge tropes where usually you're meant to root for people driven by vengeance like John Wick or whatever but in the first half of the show it tried to be more grounded where yeah you're probably just going to make things worse and revenge is a very common motivation for evil people like Cersei and Elly were very vengeful and went after innocent people and even a more typically heroic guy like Oberyn gets his shit rekt because he's too obsessed with his revenge quest and we're meant to see how Arya focusing more and more on revenge is going to fuck her in the head you know up until the incoherent gibberish of the Faceless Men arc that threw that out of the window saying it's actually cool and badass to throw your life away for meaningless vengeance and actually a tiny 90lb girl can become a ninja and beat up all the baddies in this supposedly gritty harsh setting and wasting 2 seasons and then turning her into an OP killing machine that never ever used her abilities again for the next 2 seasons and then they remember she's meant to be a subversion of the vengeful action hero in the second last episode and then she just fucks off to sea? wouldn't she care about... you know... protecting her two siblings that'll probably start accumulating enemies? are they baiting us for a spin-off show where Arya goes to explore new lands or some shit?



and Sansa actually despite what some fans seem to say Sansa was by far the best Stark kid and probably the only unfucked character left, the only bad stuff about her storyline were mostly how CIA started being written shit and not her like the dumb move of marrying her to a psycho and then the dumb way they faff around to le ebin ruse CIA for zero reason all just to slit his throat while accusing him of shit without proof in front of everyone but Sansa had an absolutely fantastic arc of going from a naive prissy little girl who just wants to marry a handsom prince, to essentially a domestic abuse victim, to trying to learn how to survive being a pawn of power players, to learning how to be a power player herself from CIA, to using what she learned to survive her last abusive partner to not only surviving but being instrumental in defeating the serial killer she was married to, to navigating her way through all the remaining power players to successfully free her kingdom and become Queen, if that's not a classic heroes journey I don't know what the fuck is and if the writing was anywhere near coherent you could theorize that Sansa actually JUST AS PLANNED the last 3 episodes where she knew spilling the tea to Tyrion would lead him to fuck up after seeing he was working on about a 90 IQ from the whole hide from the necromancer in the crypt issue resulting in Dany having less trusted advisors to stop her from going mental requring Jon to merc her thus letting Sansa take hold of the North but that's something nearing good writing my only complaint about Sansa's arc is I wish they could have done more with her when she's in-power in the North rather than faff about memeing on CIA for no reason like maybe making sure she still had that political marriage to the zoomer king but in a way she could still retain power but no they had to spend that time on getting that last incest romance in, also it would be funny if she's actually still legally a Bolton under Northern law and one of Roose's rape bastards is technically first in line now or something sulis



alright, so, episode's over, like season 8 and 7 overall it felt very rushed, like they're just scramlbing to merc Dany and get the Stark kids their endings, just like scrambling to rush Dany along to becoming insane and kill off Varys without him doing anything or having Jaime relapse for no reason and Cersei just goes AFK the entire time until remembering she doesn't want to die one second before she does, apparantly HBO were going to let D&D have as much time and money as they wanted but they did the LOST meme of insisting the story end sooner rather than later, which was a great call for LOST since it's an original IP and heavily mystery based and there's only so long that can go on for, but this is an adaptation and I don't know why they couldn't just hand off the reigns to someone else to run it other than egoism of it has to be them that finishes it but they also want to get it done soon so they can fuck off to make another three no doub shit Star Wars movies, oh god I just looked up these retards writing credits and David Benioff wrote X-Men Origins: Wolverine haahahaha probably the most plothole ridden movie I've ever seen in my life that is more like a fever dream where things just happen at complete random, anyway the first half was alright dumb drama shit happening and visually wise but that's because it centred on something actually interesting with Dany, the second half of this ep was terrible and reminded me of the kind of "plot-hole pile-up" that used to happen only on a show as bad as Heroes where there's compounding levels if contradictory information like: 1) why would Jon even need to be the one who kills Dany when Arya is literally a shapeshifting assassin and didn't need any talking-into to do it? why not just get Bran to warg into Drogon and eat her at any time and make it look like a wacky dragon training mishap? oh sorry I forgot these two never do anything ever from being too OP 2) why does anyone else even know it was Jon when he could have very easily came up with a lie or just left since Dany's body and Drogon were missing? 3) why does Grey Worm even care what the Lords say? why even take Jon captive? he was literally just executing POWs who didn't do anything and he's obviously ruthless and hopeless enough to just kill Jon even if it means they all die not that he couldn't just leave Westeros before his men find out and in fact you'd think Grey Worm would go off the chain and keep trying to follow Dany's last wishes he was so dedicated to her and slaughtered all these remaining Lords that his murdered Queen's ideology hates 4) why would sending Jon to The Wall be a punishment at all since a) that's literally what he wants to do lmao b) why is there even a Night's Watch anymore now that the Night King is dead, there's a huge hole in The Wall and the Wildlings are let through? to keep polar bears out? and c) if Grey Worm leaves Westeros Jon can come back down South whenever he wants anyway lmao d) even if Bran wouldn't want to look like he doesn't keep deals he just gave the North to Sansa who never made no deal with Grey Worm and could let Jon come back home e) Jon is still fucking King of the North? wouldn't he have supporters that would have an issue with this? or is everyone still supporting Sansa because Jon was afk even though he was proven right about the Night King? doesn't everyone in the South now support Jon for saving them from Cersei, Dany AND the White Walkers? why doesn't Tyrion just make it public knowledge that he's the true Targ heir and he'd have near-100% backing rather than his autistic retard brother? is Tyrion's IQ seriously smaller than his body by this stage? but honestly whatever since it was just a bunch of generic "house cleaning" to get all the characters into their right places for their conclusions and to ring out one last bit of forced drama and was not the main crux of the episode, but the show's over too, and I think it's fair to say that that ending with every surviving character getting pretty much the best happiest ending they could have short of Brie riding up to give Tormund a go on her is not very fitting for a show that tried to be so grimdark at one point even having a main character being tortured for no reason by a guy who practically looks into the camera and says "if you think this has a happy ending, you haven't been paying attention"



and for a show that started out about how there is no black and white morality it's all just shades of grey having the climax of the final episode be "the character to did the most over the top evil action in this fictional worlds entire history gets killed by the character who's been most concerned with doing the good thing the entire time" is not exactly loyal to that theme and the whole "real violence has consequences" went fucking MIA too since Dany basically does the Shoah and King's Landing is seemingly... fine... and there's boats leaving it's docks and people just set up shop in the perfectly clean Red Keep again and joke around as if they're not ruling over nothing but fucking cinders and then Jon has to kill the most powerful person in the world to zero repercussions to himself or for anyone and it actually ends up really fucking good for everyone in his family of Arya not having to do anything at all lmao, him going beyond The Wall, Bran becoming King and Sansa freeing the north, you'd think Jon would have to sacrafice something to kill Dany and the show would end on a somber note, literally the only way I see people defending this completely unfitting ending is by saying h-h-h-hey i-i-i-its i-i-i-impossible to end any l-l-l-long running story w-w-w-well from all the e-e-e-expectations well I've got a wee movie for you called Endgame where even though it was handled by probably by now hundreds of different directors and writers they still managed to deliver probably one of the best character arcs in cinema history, kill off one of the best villains in cinema history and conclude a story that'd been going on for 22 fucking movies for over a fucking decade which had never been done before in cinema history all without le subverting your le expectations so don't tell me it's not possible to finish one fucking TV show well



and if a movie with a budget bigger than some companies make in a year is too high a bar then another show that I've already brought up as very similar in plot to GoT, Into The Badlands, a show that's dank as fuck where they put half their budget into their amazingly filmed and choreographed high quality martial arts wire-work action scenes but no one has ever heard of this show for some reason, also had it's final episode recently and it basically did everything this episode didn't where it completed every characters arc in an earned way, including a pregnant female dictator, a chosen one turned to the dark side, a reunited brother and sister and a nomad who only lives for revenge, by concluding everyones central theme and with the final shot being used to evolve the setting so you know the surviving characters will have to live in a world with another conflict following directly on from the one they just overcame rather than every character just giving up what made them themselves so the conflict can be over like this rushed shit lmao, it reminds me of some good shit GRRM said about how his story is not gonna be like LOTR where it's all neatly wrapped up because the handsom heroes teamed up to beat the dark lords evil ugly monsters (which we've already done in the show so oh well) and you don't need to know what Aragorn's tax policy was or if they just genocided all the other orcs even the little orc babies in their cribs which also happened here where there's no realistic way Tyrion can keep this political situation together and it's ridiculous the Dothraki and Unsullied would just all leave, and something ELSE it reminds me of is fucking Star Wars: The Last Jedi another pile of autism that got people rectum ravished in that it sets out to le subvert your le expectations by having the big bad super powerful zombie dude get one-shotted by a slight of hand move and kill off one of the fan favorite main heroes after they fall from grace in a dumb manner but in the end the story resets itself to the most generic safe position you can get with the goodies and the baddies in the same places as the plot started out just like how the by now comically evil villains die and the main Stark kids all get their happy endings here, in fact you know the most kino way the show could have ended? the Night King should have won lmao, it would really sell the theme of him representing global warming and humanity needing to work together as this is a force of nature that doesn't care about humanities borders, so when Cersei refuses it results in everyone being gradually ovewhelmed and dying, so you don't have Cersei being killed off in such a pointless way, could have Dany's heel turn be more coherent if she's reacting to the pressures of a huge refugee crisis turning on her for not helping enough and not kill the NK off at all to avoid the cringy way he did die and how stupid it'd probably have been no matter how they wrote his defeat, sticks with the theme of this being le grounded and gritty world with real consequences and excuses them never elaborating on his mythology if there's no one left to learn about it, and the last shot is just the Night King dabbing on Bran's corpse lmao, but that would have been actual good writing so is of course not gonna happen, credit to deso for helping me realize this



but you know what? I actually wasn't as mad at this ending as it seems almost all the fans are it seems a lot of people were very upset about Dany's heel turn well actually I am here to tell you that I FUCKING LIKED THAT DANY TURNED INTO FUCKING DRAGON HITLER AND SHE DID THE HOLOCAUST, SHE HAS CLEARLY BEEN A SADISTIC MEGALOMANIAC DELUSIONAL NARCISSIST SINCE THE FIRST SEASON, WHETHER THEY INTENDED TO DEPICT HER THAT WAY OR NOT, WHO TOLD YOU AND OVER AND AGAIN SHE'D TAKE THE IRON THRONE WITH LE FIRE AND BLOOD, AND MY ONLY COMPLAINT ABOUT THE FINALE IS THEY DIDN'T LEAN INTO THAT MORE AND HAVE HER FUCKING WIN IN THE END



I NEED TO SEE THOSE FUCKING NORMIES SUFFERING AGAIN WHERE ARE THEY THERE YOU ARE YOU FUCKING HIPSTER FUCKS



OH OH THEY LOOK LIKE THEY'RE WATCHING IT HAPPENING FOR REAL



AJHAJHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA SHE'S MAKING THE "WHITE PEOPLE WHEN THEY PASS YOU ON THE STREET" FACE



OH GOD ALL THE MAINSTREAM MEDIA ARTICLES THAT SPENT YEARS CLICKBAITING ABOUT THE SHOW BY WHINING IT'S NOT PC ENOUGH GETTING WHAT THEY DESERVE OH AHEH AHEHEHEHH



OH THE SALT OH GIVE ME IT GIVE ME IT SO I CAN SPRINKLE IT IN YOURS WOUNDS YOU FUCKING NORMIES



OH NO NOT SEXISM IN MY SHOW WITH CONSTANT RAPE HAHAHA




HAHHAA "ANTI-HUMAN" WOAH-OH OH AHAHAHAH



HAHAHAAH "THE MOTHER OF WAR CRIMES" OH HHHAHAHAAAAAAA



OH NO OH NO NONONONNONON REDDIT IS ACTUALLY ON LITERAL SUICIDE WATCH AHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAA



HAHAHAAH EVEN 4CHANS MAD OH OH OH JESUS OH HAHAHAHAHA








>MFW RETARD NORMIES THINK YOUR EXTREMELY EDGY SHOW WITH A RAPE SCENE EVERY SECOND EPISODE HAS MADE YOU SOME SORT OF FEMINIST ICON SO YOU IMMOLATE AN ENTIRE CITY OF INNOCENT MEN, WOMEN AND CHILDREN FOR NO REASON RUINING THEIR ENJOYMENT OF THEIR FAVORITE POP CULTURE ICON FOREVER



#IMWITHHER #IMWITHHER #IMWITHHER #IMWITHHER #IMWITHHER #IMWITHHER #IMWITHHER #IMWITHHER #IMWITHHER #IMWITHHER #IMWITHHER #IMWITHHER #IMWITHHER #IMWITHHER #IMWITHHER #IMWITHHER #IMWITHHER #IMWITHHER #IMWITHHER #IMWITHHER #IMWITHHER #IMWITHHER #IMWITHHER #IMWITHHER #IMWITHHER #IMWITHHER #IMWITHHER #IMWITHHER #IMWITHHER #IMWITHHER #IMWITHHER #IMWITHHER #IMWITHHER #IMWITHHER #IMWITHHER #IMWITHHER #IMWITHHER #IMWITHHER #IMWITHHER #IMWITHHER #IMWITHHER #IMWITHHER



holy fucking shit was it fucking based that Dany just went full villain and did a fucking genocide thank you fucking jesus christ that Dany's storyline finally had something approaching some fucking point and some fucking consequences to it, 8 fucking years of all this fucking Mary Sue drivel and that one decision made it all worth it and almost coherent because her characterization of "bloodthirsty egomaniac obssessed with taking over a system she also wants to end because she's a lunatic" finally makes some goddamn fucking sense with it being confirmed that yes she is fucking psychotic and yes she is the fucking bad guy, so if I ever had to rewatch this shit, which I never will since it's 50% fucking drivel written by hack TV writers kowtowing to normie fans, it would make the Dany scenes bearable as opposed to seeming like they're taking place in a different universe entirely, let me explain: her story has literally always been that of an antagonists, they just didn't know it probably lmao, like from the very start she is a maniac who rants about taking what is le rightfully hers with fire and blood but people just ignore it since she's also freeing slaves but from how much of a massive massive Mary Sue she was who never faced any real problems and got everything handed to her because of her circumstances of birth or just every fucking man she met falling madly in love with her this story structure of a clear madwoman gradually gaining more and more power with nothing standing in her way is literally like an antagonist, one who's building in power and advancing towards our other characters very much like how the Night King was a well built-up villain gradually gaining more and more power as he gets closer and closer to reaching Westeros and it was alright that he faced no real challenges and had no real character development because he's the antagonistic outside force coming to aggress against the protagonists they are in reaction to not the other way around so he seems super threatening, and with him cucked that gap wasn't really going to be filled with Cersei who was always a protagonist in her own right with her own weaknesses and people aggressing against her and interpersonal stakes but if you just go no actually, what I'd always suspected and joked about, Dany pretty much being a fucking villain who's just morally lucky in the way that she wants to end slavery for seemingly surface level reasons that it happened to her so it's bad I guess but really it all seems to be an excuse to amass more power and exert that power, if you go ahead and make it official then there you go, you've done it the absolute madlads and gotten a fitting antagonist who unlike the Night King actually has a filled out backstory because we've been watching her rise to power the entire time, and the important thing is it was a completely unsympathetic rise to power lmao because she had no problems, she never has to change as she has muh birthright and muh targblood from the start, she doesn't struggle to evolve to better solve the situations like traditional heroes like Ned or Jon or struggle to redefine herself like anti-heroes like Jaime and Theon because she's convinced she never has to change, her being a Mary Sue actually makes her a great final villain, and it's not even like how Ramsay was a Gary Stu villain with everyone getting dumbed down around him to make him look cooler which at least had the logic of other people making mistakes lets him succeed, Dany existed in an entirely ludicrous alternate reality where entire plotlines are just dropped (the blue-lipped warlocks) or introduced (where'd she even get her dragon eggs from?) at complete random the entire show perfect to be introduced to the final 2 seasons where the rest of the show had gotten that stupid where nothing can get in her way so when she gets to Westeros it is understandable how off her nut she is like how Tyrion explained to Jon about her steamrolling all those cities and killing all the evil people in them like someone gave The Punisher dragons and that she's off her nut and like the scariest aspects of all the other antagonists including the High Sparrow that she thinks she's the savoir of the world, which was extremely obnoxious and dumb when we were meant to think she's a protagonist since there's nothing relatable about someone who's just born into a great destiny and has no problems, but turn that into a villain and it's perfect, and absolutely fuck all the fucking idiot fanboy dipshit retarded redditor faggots who don't fucking like it and whine about oh no they ruined Dany fuck off, they fucking saved Dany so hard they retroactively made her a good character lmao thank fucking god they did that, imagine how fucking lame it would have been if it was just they defeat Cersei and the heroes get their happy ending or even if Cersei had beaten them since she was always more of an anti-villain who could never really succeed at anything for too long without self-sabotaging because there was good in her and she hated herself more than anyone else, get absolutely dabbed on if Dany was your waifu or like fucking cringy tumblr feminist role model, well she's my fucking waifu now and she made 9/11 look like a fucking joke, my only complaint as I said is that they didn't lean into this more, King's Landing getting nuked should have been the season 7 finale and instead of doing le frokin ebin anti-climax of having the White Walkers just told to fuck off and eat shit in episode 3 that should have been the real final conflict and Jon is in the horrible position of having to put up with psycho lover aunty Dany because he needs her armies to defeat the Night King and throughout season 8 the two of them know once he's defeated they'll turn on each other because them actually loving each other enough to trust each other and be heartbroken about a betrayal is retarded but have them trying to play powergames against each other and get leverage over each other like Dany picks off the people who know Jon's lineage one by one and the climax is Jon is about to run tell dat to the world that he's the rightful heir but Dany just makes a public announcement telling everyone and he's like n-nani not understanding and then Dany reveals she has his siblings captive, like imagine how fucking dank it would be if when Jon goes to stab her Dany is just like oh btw... if the regiment of Unsullied we left in Winterfell don't get a raven from me every week they'll kill your brother and sisters... back the fuck up bitch boy, and he has to play nice and marry her and give her an heir and the final scene is literally Jon crying as his aunt rapes him and forces him to try to impregnate her over and over again despite her barren womb and the state of the world is literally Dany's thousand year Reich begins with her forcing all of Westeros to be conscripted into her million strong army and making plans to invade all of Essos and forcing Bran to warg into multiple dragons around the world and forcing Arya to reveal the secrets of the Faceless Men and making Sam produce wildfire en mass and even her sparing Qyburn to learn how to make White Walkers to use them as her own bioweapons and it's just the darkness ending possible because moron Jon tried to play the hero and think he could control Dany and he gets what he logically deserves just like Ned Stark did in the first season but unfortunately that would be too much for the normies but I am still glad all the fucking morons who actually liked the Dany content throughout the years who are exactly the type of retards the show became generic bullshit to pander to got their little normie hearts broken by their fucking yaaaas slaaaay queeeeeen heroine making Hitler look like he was phoning it in



if you want strong female characters then they get to be villains too equality bitch and if you think there's something unrealsitic or incongruous about a political leader who only got to that position by being manipulative, ruthless and born into the right family talking a big game about freeing people from oppression and then burning them alive in airstrikes then you're probably a braindead fucking normie NPC who's going to love going to liberate Iran in the next few years right up until a car bomb blows your legs off as you waddle your fat american ass to the mall, I mean these were the same fans that were pretending Dany was like Hillary Clinton the entire time even celebs were tweeting cringy shit like this



well I guess they were right in the end Dany got almost as many civilians killed in war crimes hahahhaha oh oh HAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHA



oh god the the over a million people who signed a petition asking for the show to be rewritten oh oh god hahahaha



wait wait wait wait just think of all those little girls named Daenerys by their redditor parents



oh ho ho no no nonononon NONONONONONONO



hahahahahahahaAHAHAHHAHAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA



get dabbed on, shitted on and cummed on and let your cringy nostalgia for a far far far worse time escapist love for a story that's meant to be about the harsh realities of life rest in fucking piss for destroying the show itself when the writers started pandering to you and for shitting up the internet for almost an entire decade, I hope every single one of these normalfaggots whining about evil Dany was someone who once talked shit about the final episode of LOST and I hope GRRM actually doesn't have any health problems at all and in fact gets really into health and fitness so he doesn't have time to finish the books ever so he lives for another 30 years so all you fucking manchild millennials can suffer for even longer never getting a conclusion other than Hitler Dany when he dies peacefully as a 100 year old man and his last words are "the show is the only canon" and then you can all top yourselves welp there goes *checks date of when I started taking screencaps* four fucking months of my life, although in the last month I gave up trying to finish it before the show ended so took it a bit more slowly than the first three and then couldn't be fucked actually posting it for another month lul, but yeah... that was completely fucking pointless and no one will ever ever ever read all this including me but for some reason I just find it really relaxing to go into a sort of flow state and just dump my thoughts stream of consciousness style about something as I'm watching it so I don't know have fun namesearching this thread and finding you're not in it other than the collage at the top and if you're not in that remember you wasted 8 years and not just 3 months on this retarded show and neck yourself, tune in next time for something somehow even more autistic........ oh here's an ending, I've been waiting for a moment to make a joke about how GRRM said GoT actually started out as stories he'd make up about his pet turtles so I guess I'll just put it here: those are some fucked up turtles!