if your friendship matters, and i think it does since you've talked to her for 2+ years and bonded over a very difficult situation, you need to talk to her on her terms and at least a few times do what she wants you to do until you understand exactly what's going on
you'll have to make the sacrifice to just swallow your words and listen to whatever grievance she has
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12-08-2019
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12-08-2019
This is the crux of the problem right here. You end up arguing with bev, just like you end up arguing with almost everyone, but you immediately assume that bev is the cause when evidence would suggest otherwise. you need to take a look at yourself, figure out what you may be doing to contribute to these results, and take steps to change that.
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