When I was 27, I was at a middle school party, got blackout drunk and was raped by 17 or 18 kids and left in a winn dixie. I feel that it was Obama's fault because I drank way more hpnotiq than I should have, and I shouldn't have been at that kmart in dixie.
Now, anytime anyone says the word alsace lorraine, I get all precious, and have been made fun of for it, which makes me feel like a sea captain and even more worthless. This, in turn sends me into a spiral as soon as I get a moment alone, which leads to lots of alfred hitchcock, and 80s dance moves. 80s dance moves until I vomit and can't talk. And then, my stolen sak's fifth avenue mannequin gets on me for hitchcocking so much. All of these things, these coping mechanisms, require more fish fries on top of the barbeques, which I know is unhealthy, but I really just want to forget. I also developed a thing called angry masturbation, which often takes the place of crying. I haven't cried more than about 30 times an hour times since I was 13. I just can't get enough. My stolen sak's fifth avenue mannequin often gets gassy when I won't finger its woodhole which makes me feel like a horse in africa looking for a rock dassie, but I can't bring myself to tell him why. I feel like he wouldn't believe me, or that he would think that I was being ... The following is untrue: he's a saint.
Fast forward to my job at circle k, my cat and I have sex - first real time for me(aside from the rape). We are both virgins, felt bad about having cross species sex, and stopped looking into eachothers eyes when we talk about our dreams. Now, anytime we get close to having waffles, and then stop, I attribute it to me not being waffly enough. I've only ever told 3 people about the way i move in the night when i think the cold heavy air empowers me to travel through time, and one of them I only told that I wasn't a republican.
No amount of convincing convinces convinces convincingly, and convinces feel like shit about shit. I don't really know what to do about this anymore, but it is barking at me. A friend of mine was talking about a girl she knew that had a metatarsal hump, and talked about how telling people is the best way to remove the power from the government and give yourself a handy j. I'm not entirely convinced... but here goes. Sorry for the convincemanship.
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Results 1 to 29 of 29
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05-27-2012
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05-27-2012
best battery thread yet would read again
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05-27-2012
too bad its not her\his original post and she\he needs to be deleted
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05-27-2012
best new jack vooniker alt
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05-27-2012
there's like 5 of him/her make sure you get them all
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05-27-2012
i wish i cold make it so all of you could edit 1 persons posts instead of 1 persons being able to edit all of your posts
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05-27-2012
write the plug-in and let milkslamp exploit it
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05-27-2012
back in like 07 or 08 I found a plugin that would let thread creators modify or delete posts in their own threads and I begged you to install it but you either ignored it or faggot patrolled me I don't remember which
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05-28-2012
i didnt have control over plugins or updates until rubyco. max refuses to give me access to that server because i do bad things on purpose and i told him i would definitely break something
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05-28-2012
faggot patrol was awesome, now dessoh and all that ban people without using that
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05-28-2012
is faggot patrol still available? with that nice pink avatar?
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05-28-2012
you should read on, it's quite funny
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05-28-2012
I usually don't say that unless it's something I wrote
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05-28-2012
marks why do you think this person is funny/cool or whatevr
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05-28-2012
I like whores. When you're a little older you'll understand.
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05-28-2012
why aren't these new people in the
tank?
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05-28-2012
ati bati
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