a spork is a fantastic tool for eating but nearly useless as a weapon

[blumpkin blownuts]

I have 2 degrees

I get jobs that pay $40 an hour when I DO work

that's not much but I bet it's more than you've ever made

I wonder if you'll still have two degrees after someone contacts Latrobe's and Deakin's records departments and asks why you don't have a HS diploma and if it's common to grant degrees to fraud artists & cheaters